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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail169.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="16" end="105" speaker="strongbad" volume=".9">Shhh! Shut up, you guys! I'm checkin' email from work today, and I can't let The Man know what I'm up to!</line>
<line start="106" end="174" speaker="strongbad" volume=".9"><em>(singing)</em> Oh, tiptoe your fingers 'cross the keyboard for the quietest email you can check.</line>
<line start="175" end="185"><!--<text>BLOCKED! Back to work, drone!</text>--><sfx>buzzer</sfx></line>
<line start="185" end="269"><!--<text>BLOCKED! Back to work, drone!</text>--><strongbad>Oh, man. They got everything blocked now. Even those awesome pop-up insurance ads with the cool mini-games in 'em.</strongbad></line>
<line start="270" end="302"><!--<text>BLOCKED! Back to work, drone!</text>--><strongbad>I tasered that gnome like ten times!</strongbad></line>
<line start="303" end="355"><!--<text>BLOCKED! Back to work, drone!</text>--><strongbad>Good thing The Cheat hooked me up with this Cheatware!</strongbad></line>
<line start="355" end="375" speaker="sfx">floppy disk noises</line>
<line start="375" end="410"><!--<text>Grandmaw Edgar's Corporate Firewall Get-Arounder</text>--><sfx>music</sfx></line>
<line start="425" end="498" speaker="strongbad">Oh, nice work, pixel-Granny! Undermine those corporate oppressors on witcha bad self!</line>
<line start="499" end="515" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,"</line>
<line start="515" end="580" speaker="strongbad">"If you could have any job in the whole world, regardless of how much it pays, what would you have?"</line>
<line start="580" end="605" speaker="strongbad">"From The Nittle One"</line>
<line start="605" end="639" speaker="strongbad">You ask like I haven't told you guys a million times.</line>
<line start="639" end="652" speaker="sfx">drumroll</line>
<line start="652" end="690"><sfx>drumroll</sfx><strongbad>I'd be a second second assistant Space Whale Scrubber!</strongbad></line>
<line start="690" end="705" speaker="sfx">tada</line>
<line start="705" end="750" speaker="strongbad">'Cause those are the ones that get to wear that glittery pantsuit...</line>
<line start="750" end="830" speaker="strongbad">...and use a lazormop to scrub all the nudules and crudules off the whale's dorsal ridge!</line>
<line start="830" end="840" speaker="sfx">crickets chirping</line>
<line start="840" end="892"><sfx>crickets chirping</sfx><strongbad>Umm, shouldn't we be seeing some of this by now?</strongbad></line>
<line start="892" end="907" speaker="bubs" voiceover="yes">Bahh!</line>
<line start="907" end="971" speaker="bubs">Sorry, Strong Bad! The suits had me install a firewall on your imagination!</line>
<line start="971" end="1022" speaker="bubs">All that free thinking was wasting the company's cost money!</line>
<line start="1022" end="1101" speaker="strongbad">Oh, that's it! I am totally never gonna quit this job but start complaining about it a little bit more!</line>
<line start="1101" end="1140" speaker="bubs">Well, I'd better get back to tasering that gnome!</line>
<line start="1140" end="1185" speaker="bubs" voiceover="yes">Err, I mean, upgrading the tasering that gnome! <span style="visibility:hidden;font-size:0.9em">...server.</span></line>
<line start="1185" end="1200" speaker="bubs" voiceover="yes">Err, I mean, upgrading the tasering that gnome! <span style="font-size:0.9em">...server.</span></line>
<line start="1200" end="1264" speaker="strongbad">Well, I guess I could try and describe it using work approved methods.</line>
<line start="1264" end="1325" speaker="strongbad">Let's see: Why Second Second Assistant Space Whale Scrubber is My Dream Job.</line>
<line start="1325" end="1345" speaker="strongbad">Twenty percent pantsuit...</line>
<line start="1345" end="1375" speaker="strongbad">Seventeen percent space whale proximity--</line>
<line start="1375" end="1393" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="yes">Hey, cube neighbor!</line>
<line start="1393" end="1473" speaker="strongsad">My work staysh is asking me if I want to log off or log out. Which one do I choose?</line>
<line start="1473" end="1533" speaker="strongbad">Pfff. Stupid temp. You don't know the difference between logging off and logging out?</line>
<line start="1533" end="1601" speaker="strongsad">Well, no. Back when I was in charge of the schwa sound at they used to--</line>
<line start="1601" end="1716" speaker="strongbad">Look, just hold down escape, control, tab, alt, both shifts, num lock and the little squiggly until your screen turns blue.</line>
<line start="1716" end="1742" speaker="strongbad">Then, stare at it until your shift ends.</line>
<line start="1742" end="1767" speaker="strongsad">Oh, thanks!</line>
<line start="1767" end="1817" speaker="strongbad">Okay. Back to the, back to the sbemail. Let's talk about dorsal ridges!</line>
<line start="1817" end="1848" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">You wanna know what my dream job would be?</line>
<line start="1848" end="1855" speaker="strongbad">No.</line>
<line start="1855" end="1868" speaker="strongbad">I mean, no.</line>
<line start="1870" end="1883" speaker="strongbad">I mean, no.</line>
<line start="1883" end="1929" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">I'd be the guy that flies around on that fake plastic goldfish,</line>
<line start="1929" end="1975" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">painting the clouds with an oversized novelty toothbrush!</line>
<line start="1975" end="2010" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Hey! How come <em>your</em> imagination's working?</line>
<line start="2010" end="2070" speaker="homestar">Oh, I got admin privileges! It helps when you're best friends with the Big Cheese!</line>
<line start="2070" end="2080" speaker="pompom" voiceover="yes">bubble noises</line>
<line start="2080" end="2095" speaker="homestar">Ah! The Big Cheese!</line>
<line start="2095" end="2110" speaker="pompom">bubble noises</line>
<line start="2110" end="2185" speaker="homestar">Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. Right away, sir. Hallelujah, sir. I'll have that DNA evidence on your desk by five.</line>
<line start="2185" end="2248" speaker="strongbad">Nevermind, Nitwit. Checking sbemails at the office is not worth the trouble.</line>
<line start="2248" end="2325" speaker="strongbad">I dunno how all those bloggers do it. Oh well. I guess I'd better get back to woik.</line>
<line start="2330" end="2346" speaker="strongbad">'Scape.</line>
<line start="2346" end="2369" speaker="strongbad">Tab.</line>
<line start="2369" end="2385" speaker="strongbad">Squiggly.</line>
<line start="2386" end="2405"><!--<text>Temp Log Off/Out Error: Oh you are SOOOO not gonna work here again!</text>--><sfx>Computer beeps</sfx></line>
<line start="2405" end="2425"><!--<text>Temp Log Off/Out Error: Oh you are SOOOO not gonna work here again!</text>--><thepaper>Preeeow!</thepaper></line>
<line start="2425" end="2483"><!--<text>Temp Log Off/Out Error: Oh you are SOOOO not gonna work here again!</text>--></line>
<line start="2484" end="2512"><!--<text>Temp Log Off/Out Error: Oh you are SOOOO not gonna work here again!</text>--><strongbad>Augh, gonna be a long one.</strongbad></line>
<line start="2512" end="2580"><!--<text>Temp Log Off/Out Error: Oh you are SOOOO not gonna work here again!</text>--><strongbad>I haven't even taken my first sit-in-the-men's-room-and-play-Tetris-for-an-hour break yet.</strongbad></line>
<line start="2580" end="2581"><!--<text>Temp Log Off/Out Error: Oh you are SOOOO not gonna work here again!</text>--></line>
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