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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8" ?>
  <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail158.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="18" end="76" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing) Oooh, it's a e-email, money, money, money.</em></line>
    <line start="79" end="118" speaker="strongbad"><em>Oooh-ooh. Shut up.</em></line>
    <line start="124" end="136" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,"</line>
    <line start="137" end="164" speaker="strongbad">"Resolve all the cliffhangers please."</line>
    <line start="165" end="196" speaker="strongbad">"Thanks," Little Jakey Pleasenthanks."</line>
    <line start="199" end="227" speaker="strongbad">Hmmmmm. The cliffhangers, eh?</line>
    <line start="228" end="276" speaker="strongbad">I never really thought to call them that, but I guess that <em>is</em> what they are.</line>
    <line start="278" end="295" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, why not?</line>
    <line start="308" end="366" speaker="homsar">This dinner party is top dollar!</line>
    <line start="372" end="409" speaker="strongbad">All right, cliffhangers. Prepare to be resolved!</line>
    <line start="425" end="446" speaker="strongbad">Oh, and I brought you some snacks.</line>
    <line start="447" end="499" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover"><em>(echoing)</em> You're a good friend, Strong Bad!</line>
    <line start="507" end="543" speaker="strongbad">Alright, alright. I know what you really mean, Jakesy.</line>
    <line start="544" end="580" speaker="strongbad">So, you say you want a resolution, huh?</line>
    <line start="607" end="644" speaker="coachz">And now, Thnikkaman, at long last,</line>
    <line start="645" end="688" speaker="coachz">the world will discover your secret, sorcret identity!</line>
    <line start="689" end="733" speaker="coachz">Thereby rendering you useless as a Thnikkaman!</line>
    <line start="734" end="759" speaker="bubs">I'll render you <em>toothless!</em></line>
    <line start="760" end="781" speaker="coachz">Now, give me them cool shades!</line>
    <line start="789" end="843" speaker="sfx">dramatic music plays</line>
    <line start="864" end="873" speaker="coachz">Oof!</line>
    <line start="876" end="901" speaker="bubs">Yeah, shut up, Coach.</line>
    <line start="905" end="952" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">You missed unmasking the Thnikkaman!!!</line>
    <line start="959" end="1002" speaker="singers" voiceover="voiceover">Because you have really bad hand-eye coordination!!!</line>
    <line start="1003" end="1025" speaker="coachz">Enough already, I get it!</line>
    <line start="1026" end="1071" speaker="coachz">My secret sorcret has been revereled!</line>
    <line start="1091" end="1139" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, I know, Lita Ford... but I'm in orbit, baby!</line>
    <line start="1140" end="1159" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Look, I'll call you back when I'm not--</line>
    <line start="1160" end="1184" speaker="sfx">warning siren</line>
    <line start="1185" end="1225" speaker="strongbad">Strap! Collision alarm! Bring it up on screen.</line>
    <line start="1232" end="1267" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">We're on a collision course with Malmsteen's Comet!</line>
    <line start="1270" end="1292" speaker="strongbad">Full power to the forward humbuckers!</line>
    <line start="1293" end="1302" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1303" end="1338" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Humbuckers are offline? Then strap in, Strap,</line>
    <line start="1339" end="1362" speaker="strongbad">and prepare for ramming speed!</line>
    <line start="1364" end="1415" speaker="strongbad">If this is the end, then we can at least make it awesome for the people in...</line>
    <line start="1425" end="1438" speaker="strongbad">... Greenland.</line>
    <line start="1448" end="1485">
      <strongbad>Ooohhhhh... Shooooo...</strongbad>
      <sfx>rumbling noises</sfx>
    <line start="1486" end="1501">
      <strongbad>Ooohhhhh... Shooooo...</strongbad>
      <sfx>rumbling noises</sfx>
      <sfx>dramatic music plays</sfx>
    <line start="1502" end="1517" speaker="sfx">dramatic music plays</line>
    <line start="1518" end="1556">
      <sfx>dramatic music plays</sfx>
      <announcer voiceover="voiceover">Will Cap and Strap make it out of this one?</announcer>
    <line start="1558" end="1571" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">Tune in next--</line>
    <line start="1572" end="1600" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Nope, none of that. Just get to resolving.</line>
    <line start="1601" end="1617" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">Okay!</line>
    <line start="1633" end="1648" speaker="strongbad">This is it, Strap!</line>
    <line start="1667" end="1696" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Wait a minute... that's no comet!</line>
    <line start="1697" end="1744" speaker="strongbad">We've wandered into the Forgotten Produce Belt of Tablature 5!</line>
    <line start="1745" end="1783" speaker="strongbad">It's guacamole and banana bread time, Strap!</line>
    <line start="1785" end="1819" speaker="sfx">music plays</line>
    <line start="1845" end="1866" speaker="strongsad">Look, you can tell me.</line>
    <line start="1868" end="1880" speaker="homestar">I can't!</line>
    <line start="1881" end="1906" speaker="strongsad">Oh, come on, what is it?</line>
    <line start="1911" end="1934" speaker="homestar">I'm... pregnant!</line>
    <line start="1935" end="1994" speaker="sfx">dramatic music plays</line>
    <line start="2010" end="2044" speaker="strongsad">No... no, you're Homestar.</line>
    <line start="2051" end="2060" speaker="strongsad">Runner.</line>
    <line start="2067" end="2081" speaker="strongsad"><em>The male.</em></line>
    <line start="2082" end="2109" speaker="homestar">Oohhhh, phew.</line>
    <line start="2110" end="2143" speaker="homestar">Thought I was a pregnant woman for a second there.</line>
    <line start="2145" end="2197" speaker="strongsad">Yeah... uh... I think I'd like my money back now.</line>
    <line start="2205" end="2227" speaker="strongbad">And there you go, Jakenstein.</line>
    <line start="2228" end="2257" speaker="strongbad">All the cliffhangers have been re- Aah!</line>
    <line start="2261" end="2322" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">My computer's been Lappy-napped! And they cut off her little toe!</line>
    <line start="2323" end="2367" speaker="strongbad">Oh, sweet lady irony! Why do you mock me?</line>
    <line start="2368" end="2383">
      <strongbad>Oh, sweet lady irony! Why do you mock me?</strongbad>
      <sfx>dramatic music plays</sfx>
    <line start="2384" end="2415" speaker="sfx">dramatic music plays</line>
    <line start="2416" end="2430" speaker="thepaper">preeeeow!</line>
    <line start="2440" end="2501" speaker="coachz">Nah, I bet if you take away them cool shades and rip that "TH" off his chest,</line>
    <line start="2502" end="2568" speaker="coachz">underneath, you'd find a thin green man with a big ol' "Z" hanging from his--</line>
    <line start="2569" end="2616" speaker="bubs">Coach, are you accusing yourself of being the Thnikkaman?</line>
    <line start="2617" end="2638" speaker="coachz">Yeah, I, uh-- no!</line>
    <line start="2639" end="2658" speaker="coachz">Er, uh, rumble-dumble...</line>
    <line start="2658" end="2681" speaker="coachz">sports team?!</line>
    <line start="2695" end="2730" speaker="homestar">Yeah, yeah, you know who I think done it?</line>
    <line start="2731" end="2765" speaker="homestar">Homestar Runner. Think about it, think about it.</line>
    <line start="2766" end="2790" speaker="homestar">He's got the history, he's got the motive...</line>
    <line start="2791" end="2832" speaker="strongbad">Homestar, are you admitting that you stole my computer?</line>
    <line start="2833" end="2873" speaker="homestar">What?! No! I was just making watercooler conversation,</line>
    <line start="2874" end="2896" speaker="homestar">trying to sound up with the times,</line>
    <line start="2897" end="2918" speaker="homestar">uh, um,</line>
    <line start="2918" end="2938" speaker="homestar">sports team?</line>
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