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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8" ?>
  <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail157.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="18" end="55" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing) A-when you dribble down the court with an email,</em></line>
    <line start="56" end="95" speaker="strongbad"><em>you leave your dreams at the top of the keeeey.</em></line>
    <line start="99" end="132" speaker="strongbad">"Hey, Strong Bad. You should have trading cards."</line>
    <line start="138" end="157" speaker="strongbad">"With a stick of gum in them."</line>
    <line start="158" end="204" speaker="strongbad">"Nerdly yours, another freakin' guy named Daniel."</line>
    <line start="205" end="226" speaker="strongbad">"Not safe in Canada."</line>
    <line start="229" end="253" speaker="strongbad" volume=".8">Oh! Thanks for the tip, Daniel.</line>
    <line start="254" end="303" speaker="strongbad" volume=".8">I'll lay low here in the states for a while until things cool off.</line>
    <line start="309" end="370" speaker="strongbad">Daniel, trading cards are the biggest waste of not a video game on the planet!</line>
    <line start="371" end="437" speaker="strongbad">In fact, I thought trading cards were outlawed the day they invented good graphics.</line>
    <line start="440" end="484" speaker="strongbad">As for that "gum" that comes with them, I'm pretty sure they replaced that</line>
    <line start="485" end="543" speaker="strongbad">with a pink piece of balsa wood back in the early '80s and nobody ever noticed.</line>
    <line start="546" end="585" speaker="strongbad">So, no, I shouldn't have trading cards.</line>
    <line start="588" end="643" speaker="strongbad">But most of the other idiots round here have engaged in some form of trading cardery.</line>
    <line start="644" end="666" speaker="strongbad">Let's rag on them, shall we?</line>
    <line start="675" end="736" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">First up is Coach Z's line of vaguely sportsish managerial cards.</line>
    <line start="737" end="822" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">What self-respecting twelve-year-old doesn't want to collect pictures of the smelly old men behind their favorite sports teams?</line>
    <line start="823" end="873" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And who could resist memorizing all these fabulous stats?</line>
    <line start="874" end="918" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Ooh, a record high twenty-three butt pats in '84.</line>
    <line start="919" end="981" speaker="homestar">And who do you think what the lucky recipient of all those butt pats 'cept a one?</line>
    <line start="982" end="996" speaker="strongbad">Let me guess, it--</line>
    <line start="997" end="1041" speaker="homestar">No, it was me! It was like I was made to hustle that season.</line>
    <line start="1042" end="1065" speaker="strongbad">So, who got that last butt pat?</line>
    <line start="1066" end="1129" speaker="homestar">Oh. I think he gave himself that one. He's re-known for his self-butt pats.</line>
    <line start="1130" end="1164" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, known in seven states.</line>
    <line start="1165" end="1172" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">What?</line>
    <line start="1178" end="1211" speaker="strongbad">Next up, we got The Cheat's trading card game,</line>
    <line start="1212" end="1280" speaker="strongbad">which is really more like a trading card activity or trading card goings-on,</line>
    <line start="1281" end="1314" speaker="strongbad">because the word "game" implies fun and enjoyment.</line>
    <line start="1315" end="1339" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And you won't find none of that here.</line>
    <line start="1356" end="1390" speaker="stinkoman">CHEATBALL POISON RAIN VORNADO!!!</line>
    <line start="1401" end="1411" speaker="cheatball">Cheatball!</line>
    <line start="1412" end="1426" speaker="sfx">poof!</line>
    <line start="1435" end="1444" speaker="sfx">music plays</line>
    <line start="1445" end="1505">
      <sfx>music plays</sfx>
      <stinkoman>Um, so, did I win? Does anyone know how this game works?</stinkoman>
    <line start="1520" end="1587" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">I'll trade you your Cheatball card for my Deathly Pallor Lonely Lurker Attack card.</line>
    <line start="1588" end="1646" speaker="strongbad">Homestar, those aren't even from the same lame game. Or SLG.</line>
    <line start="1647" end="1701" speaker="strongbad">Your game is for musky nerds to play in the basement of the freshman dorms.</line>
    <line start="1702" end="1750" speaker="strongbad">This cutesy Japanesey game is for little kids to play during recess,</line>
    <line start="1751" end="1782" speaker="strongbad">to make sure they don't get any real exercise.</line>
    <line start="1783" end="1826" speaker="homestar">Well how are them kids gonna earn any butt pats if they don't hustle it out?</line>
    <line start="1827" end="1888" speaker="strongbad">I don't think butt pats are part of the approved curriculum in elementary schools these days.</line>
    <line start="1889" end="1919" speaker="homestar">Well, that's just sad.</line>
    <line start="1926" end="1997" speaker="strongbad">The only trading cards I really gave a toot about were the Poopsmith's line of gross-out cards for kids.</line>
    <line start="2003" end="2057" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">I'll trade you that Petey POOPsmith for this Marzi-PANCAKE.</line>
    <line start="2059" end="2080" speaker="strongbad">You just keep showing up, don't ya?</line>
    <line start="2081" end="2138" speaker="homestar">Okay, okay, I'll throw in this rare STING of Town, too.</line>
    <line start="2139" end="2183" speaker="strongbad">How 'bout I trade you a "get outta my face" for this...</line>
    <line start="2184" end="2205" speaker="strongbad">uhh...</line>
    <line start="2206" end="2255" speaker="strongbad"> of a kind Strong Bad Bench Pressing Dinosaurs collector's card?</line>
    <line start="2256" end="2269" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Hooo-ray!</line>
    <line start="2270" end="2291" speaker="homestar">My collection is complete!</line>
    <line start="2294" end="2339" speaker="homestar">And <em>here,</em> my good man, is your "get outta your face".</line>
    <line start="2374" end="2387" speaker="thepaper">preeeeow</line>
    <line start="2434" end="2470" speaker="strongbad">How many times have we had that conversation?</line>
    <line start="2471" end="2487" speaker="homestar">Thirty-five!</line>
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