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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for keep cool. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail154.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="15" end="55" speaker="strongbad">
    <em>(rapping)</em> I'll take you back to a time when e-mail was king!
  <line start="60" end="90" speaker="strongbad">"How hot is it right now in Strongbadia?"</line>
  <line start="91" end="100" speaker="sfx">record scratch</line>
  <line start="100" end="130" speaker="strongbad">Note to viewers: This is Strong Badia.</line>
  <line start="133" end="145" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">
    Not this, <span style="visibility:hidden">this, or this.</span>
  <line start="145" end="153" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">
    Not this, this, <span style="visibility:hidden">or this.</span>
  <line start="153" end="163" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">
    Not this, this, or this.
  <line start="165" end="174" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Just this.</line>
  <line start="177" end="203" speaker="strongbad">We clear? Now gimme five.</line>
  <line start="205" end="248" speaker="strongbad">"We're boiling over here. What do you do to keep cool?"</line>
  <line start="249" end="285" speaker="strongbad">"Tom B. Sunnyvale, Cactus Area."</line>
<line start="288" end="324" speaker="strongbad">I'm not exactly sure how hot it is round here, Tomby.</line>
<line start="324" end="381" speaker="strongbad">But we do have an old-timey, made-uppy, no-worky way of finding out!</line>
<line start="384" end="407" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">We carefully place a spoonful of hoisin sauce on Strong Sad's disturbing soft-serve flip.</line>
<line start="407" end="425">
<strongbad voiceover="yes">We carefully place a spoonful of hoisin sauce on Strong Sad's disturbing soft-serve flip.</strongbad> <sfx>"growing" noise</sfx> <!-- ed: better description needed -bc --> </line>
<line start="425" end="468" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">We carefully place a spoonful of hoisin sauce on Strong Sad's disturbing soft-serve flip.</line>
<line start="482" end="503" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">And then we just... ask him.</line>
<line start="504" end="511">
  <span style="visibility:hidden">
<line start="511" end="513">
  <span style="visibility:hidden">
<line start="513" end="517">
  <line start="517" end="548" speaker="strongbad">Trundle bed, how hot it is right now?</line>
  <line start="548" end="620" speaker="strongsad"><em>(Monotone)</em> Current temperature: 97, 98 degrees... humidity: 25 percent...</line>
  <line start="620" end="668" speaker="strongsad"><em>(Monotone)</em> barometric pressure's 30.05 inches mercury...</line>
  <line start="670" end="710" speaker="strongsad"><em>(Monotone)</em> I'm gonna eat this spoonful of hoisin sauce...</line>
  <line start="717" end="744" speaker="strongbad">You hear that?! The high nineties!</line>
  <line start="748" end="769" speaker="strongbad">You know what that means!</line>
  <line start="776" end="807">
    <strongbad>COOL TIME, POOL TIME!!!</strongbad>
    <strongmad volume="1.3">COOL TIME, POOL TIME!!!</strongmad>
  <line start="807" end="855"><sfx>music</sfx><strongbad>In the pool that we've always had... that we use all the time...</strongbad></line>
  <line start="861" end="901" speaker="strongbad">and the school has always had an elevator!</line>
  <line start="902" end="920" speaker="homestar">Cool time!</line>
  <line start="921" end="937" speaker="marzipan">Pool time!</line>
  <line start="942" end="955" speaker="coachz">Cool time?</line>
  <line start="955" end="973" speaker="bubs">Pool time!</line>
  <line start="978" end="993" speaker="pompom">bubbles</line>
  <line start="1017" end="1045" speaker="thecheat" sfx="sfx">imitates motorboat</line>
  <line start="1050" end="1073" speaker="thecheat" sfx="sfx">imitates motorboat</line>
  <line start="1082" end="1110" speaker="strongbad">All right, ya little sacks of crap,</line>
  <line start="1110" end="1178" speaker="strongbad">just so I never have to use this weird foamy thing, lemme explain the pool rules.</line>
  <line start="1178" end="1204" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Welcome to our 'ool.</line>
  <line start="1204" end="1244" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Notice there is no "Take a crap in it" in it.</line>
  <line start="1250" end="1271" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Please keep it that way.</line>
  <line start="1271" end="1296" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Poopsmith, don't even try it.</line>
  <line start="1297" end="1314" speaker="sfx">futuristic arpeggio</line>
  <line start="1317" end="1325" speaker="strongbad">Also,</line>
  <line start="1325" end="1360" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">no rough-horsing, no house-rousing, no butt-patting.</line>
  <line start="1360" end="1374" speaker="coachz" voiceover="yes">Aw, nuts!</line>
  <line start="1374" end="1402" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">And no running, no diving, no swimming.</line>
  <line start="1403" end="1439" speaker="strongbad">But that last one is not very widely enforced.</line>
  <line start="1439" end="1474" speaker="strongbad">But most importantly, after you eat,</line>
  <line start="1474" end="1534" speaker="strongbad">wait three full days, get a complete physical, have an ear candling,</line>
  <line start="1534" end="1593" speaker="strongbad">and press UP, A and START before re-entering the pool.</line>
  <line start="1598" end="1632"><sfx>crackling</sfx><marzipan>Strong Bad, what did you put in this pool water?</marzipan></line>
  <line start="1632" end="1673" speaker="strongbad">I dunno... chemicals, whatever was under the sink.</line>
  <line start="1673" end="1718" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">You gotta put chemicals in the pool, right? That's what they say.</line>
  <line start="1732" end="1750"><sfx>crackling</sfx><strongbad>And that is all that they say.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="1750" end="1798"><sfx>crackling</sfx><marzipan>Well, whatever it is, it's doing wonders for my hair. I can feel it tingling.</marzipan></line>
  <line start="1814" end="1836" speaker="sfx">thunder</line>
  <line start="1836" end="1858" speaker="strongbad">Liiiightniiing.</line>
  <line start="1861" end="1878" speaker="strongbad">You guys know the drill.</line>
  <line start="1878" end="1905">
    <strongmad sfx="sfx">groans</strongmad>
    <thecheat sfx="sfx">groans</thecheat>
  <line start="1910" end="1934">
    <coachz sfx="sfx">groans</coachz>
    <homestar sfx="sfx">sighs</homestar>
    <kingoftown sfx="sfx">groans</kingoftown>
  <line start="1953" end="2000" speaker="strongbad">So later on anybody wanna get together a game of "Sharks and Minnows"?</line>
  <line start="2000" end="2023" speaker="strongbad">"Einstein and Kreskin"?</line>
  <line start="2027" end="2044" speaker="strongbad">"Pregnant and seventeen"?</line>
  <line start="2044" end="2121" speaker="bubs">Uh-oh! Looks like we should've been playin' "Keep Strong Mad off the freakin' high dive for Pete's sake, man!"</line>
  <line start="2125" end="2154"><sfx>boing</sfx><strongmad volume="1.3">MANNONBALL!</strongmad></line>
  <line start="2155" end="2162" speaker="strongmad" sfx="yes">squish</line>
  <line start="2162" end="2171" sfx="yes">woosh</line>
  <line start="2171" end="2192" sfx="yes">splash</line>
  <line start="2192" end="2212" sfx="yes"><strong>SPLASH</strong></line>
  <line start="2212" end="2222" sfx="yes">whistle</line>
  <line start="2222" end="2229"><sfx>crash</sfx><strongbad>Wah!</strongbad></line>
  <line start="2239" end="2254" sfx="yes">flush</line>
  <line start="2261" end="2289" speaker="strongbad">I should really just stop patching that hole.</line>
  <line start="2296" end="2329" speaker="strongbad">Well, it looks like pool season's over.</line>
  <line start="2332" end="2402" speaker="strongbad">Guess I have to start Back2School shopping. Get some new pencil holders...</line>
  <line start="2402" end="2407" speaker="homestar" volume="0.5">aaaah!</line>
  <line start="2407" end="2412">
    <homestar volume="0.7">aaaah!</homestar>
    <strongbad>stencil folders...</strongbad>
  <line start="2412" end="2417">
    <homestar volume="0.9">aaaah!</homestar>
    <strongbad>stencil folders...</strongbad>
  <line start="2417" end="2422">
    <homestar volume="1.1">aaaah!</homestar>
    <strongbad>stencil folders...</strongbad>
  <line start="2422" end="2425">
    <homestar volume="1.3">aaaah!</homestar>
    <strongbad>stencil folders...</strongbad>
  <line start="2425" end="2436">
    <sfx volume="1.2">CRASH!</sfx>
  <line start="2454" end="2509" speaker="homestar">Uh, Strong Bad, I think that total wave ruined your 'ool.</line>
  <line start="2509" end="2553" speaker="strongbad">Ah... I... breaky... spiney...</line>
  <line start="2555" end="2566" speaker="thepaper">Preeeow!</line>
  <line start="2574" end="2614" speaker="strongsad"><em>(Monotone)</em> Wind sou'-sou'west at 10 miles per hour.</line>
  <line start="2614" end="2647" speaker="strongsad"><em>(Monotone)</em> Sunset at 8:45 PM.</line>
  <line start="2647" end="2682" speaker="strongsad"><em>(Monotone)</em> Baseball games at 2, 11, and 3.</line>
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