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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for lady fan. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail147.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="16" end="41" speaker="strongbad">How many emails can you check?</line>
<line start="42" end="47" speaker="strongbad">Five.</line>
<line start="48" end="53" speaker="strongbad">Twelve.</line>
<line start="54" end="61" speaker="strongbad">Seven.</line>
<line start="62" end="70" speaker="strongbad">Shut up.</line>
<line start="71" end="84" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,"</line>
<line start="84" end="118" speaker="strongbad">"My new lady fan does not like you so much."</line>
<line start="119" end="177" speaker="strongbad">"Should I just call it quits now or can you do something extra special cool to impress her?"</line>
<line start="178" end="207" speaker="strongbad">"Buck Webb, Hooston, Tejas"</line>
<line start="208" end="222" speaker="strongbad">Buck Webb?</line>
<line start="223" end="314" speaker="strongbad">You sound like one of those boring soap-opera comic strips from the quote-un-quote, "funny" pages.</line>
<line start="315" end="391" speaker="buck">I'm afraid it's Splitsville for us, Lady Fan... if you don't take a shine to Strong Bad!</line>
<line start="392" end="408" speaker="ladyfan">Oh, Buck...</line>
<line start="409" end="445" speaker="ladyfan">I'll give Strong Bad a chance. In fact...</line>
<line start="446" end="496" speaker="ladyfan" voiceover="voiceover">...I think I'm falling for him. Like, big time.</line>
<line start="497" end="527" speaker="buck" voiceover="voiceover">C'mon, baby. Stay with me.</line>
<line start="528" end="564" speaker="buck">I'll buy you a new yoga DVD.</line>
<line start="565" end="599" speaker="ladyfan">I'll... think about it.</line>
<line start="605" end="633" speaker="strongbad">We both know who she's gonna choose, Buck.</line>
<line start="634" end="650" speaker="strongbad">Is that what you want?</line>
<line start="651" end="670" speaker="strongbad">But hey, you asked for it.</line>
<line start="671" end="747" speaker="strongbad">And as you know, when people send me stupid emails, I'm obligated by law to do what they say.</line>
<line start="748" end="782" speaker="strongbad">So, extra special cool coming right up!</line>
<line start="783" end="822" speaker="strongbad">Nothing's more E-S-C than one-handed push-ups.</line>
<line start="823" end="852" speaker="strongbad">Coupla these bad boys oughta do the trick!</line>
<line start="853" end="878" speaker="strongbad">Here-a I-a go-a!</line>
<line start="879" end="902" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">groans</line>
<line start="903" end="910" speaker="sfx">buzzer</line>
<line start="911" end="957" speaker="strongbad">Oh, did I say "one-handed push-ups"? Those things are lame.</line>
<line start="958" end="985" speaker="strongbad">Real men play two-handed push-ups!</line>
<line start="986" end="1016" speaker="strongbad">We'll start with fifty and see how we feel.</line>
<line start="1017" end="1038" speaker="strongbad">Here-sa I-sa go-sa!</line>
<line start="1039" end="1074" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">groans</line>
<line start="1075" end="1080" speaker="sfx">buzzer</line>
<line start="1081" end="1130" speaker="strongbad">I can't do ONE push up?! I used to be able to do, like, four.</line>
<line start="1131" end="1157" speaker="strongbad">Maybe I need to start workin' out.</line>
<line start="1158" end="1176" speaker="homestar">Boy, I'll say you do.</line>
<line start="1177" end="1196" speaker="homestar">One, two, and flex your pecs!</line>
<line start="1197" end="1219" speaker="homestar">Give it eight more! And five!</line>
<line start="1220" end="1230" speaker="homestar">Twees it out!</line>
<line start="1231" end="1255" speaker="homestar">C'mon y'all! Just twees it out!</line>
<line start="1256" end="1274" speaker="strongbad">Twees it out?</line>
<line start="1275" end="1295" speaker="homestar">Your buttweessimo!</line>
<line start="1296" end="1330" speaker="homestar">We're gonna mold that twees into the Iron Sheik!</line>
<line start="1331" end="1356" speaker="homestar">Just six more now! Eight and four!</line>
<line start="1357" end="1379" speaker="homestar">Shake it freely, twees it out!</line>
<line start="1380" end="1388" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, cool.</line>
<line start="1389" end="1437" speaker="strongbad">I'm gonna go ahead and need you to never say "twees it out" ever again.</line>
<line start="1438" end="1475" speaker="homestar">You're doing great! Now shoulders down! One and two.</line>
<line start="1476" end="1527"><strongbad>What'll really impress your lady fan is a cute, fluffy The Cheat—</strongbad> <homestar volume="0.75">Feel the burn and go to bed! Make some breakfast, talk to me!</homestar></line>
<line start="1536" end="1553" speaker="strongbad">Fresh from the dryer!</line>
<line start="1560" end="1580" speaker="strongbad">Awww, look at him!</line>
<line start="1581" end="1612"><strongbad>All cottony soft...</strongbad> <thecheat>The Cheat noises</thecheat></line>
<line start="1613" end="1621" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">screams</line>
<line start="1622" end="1651"><strongbad>Jeez, use a dryer sheet, man.</strongbad> <thecheat>The Cheat noises</thecheat> <sfx>sparking</sfx></line>
<line start="1652" end="1701" speaker="strongbad">Uh oh, this is not looking extra special cool.</line>
<line start="1702" end="1722" speaker="thecheat" voiceover="voiceover">vomits</line>
<line start="1723" end="1735" speaker="strongbad">Don't worry, little buddy.</line>
<line start="1736" end="1760" speaker="strongbad">We'll just throw you back in the wash.</line>
<line start="1761" end="1783" speaker="homestar">Back in the wash. Come on, come on!</line>
<line start="1784" end="1806" speaker="homestar">Twees it, twees it, zabaladoo!</line>
<line start="1807" end="1841" speaker="strongbad">Get it out of here, Wretched Simmons!</line>
<line start="1842" end="1888" speaker="strongbad">I'm trying to get some girl to like some guy I don't know!</line>
<line start="1889" end="1968" speaker="strongbad">One thing I definitely know about lady fans is that they all like crappy arts and crafts projects.</line>
<line start="1969" end="2027" speaker="marzipan">Today we're going to make a really creative centerpiece out of junk mail and kitty litter.</line>
<line start="2028" end="2054" speaker="strongbad">Sounds heavenly...</line>
<line start="2055" end="2091" speaker="marzipan">Now first of all I want you to take your snip-sniparooskies </line>
<line start="2092" end="2109" speaker="marzipan">And that's what we call our scissors</line>
<line start="2110" end="2148"><strongbad>Uh-huh...</strongbad> <marzipan>And then just a little crinkle cut right here on the northern edge...</marzipan></line>
<line start="2149" end="2165" speaker="strongbad">UGH! Never mind!</line>
<line start="2166" end="2198" speaker="strongbad">What the lady fans really want is some</line>
<line start="2199" end="2243"><strongbad volume="1.5">PYROTECHNICS!!!</strongbad><sfx>echo</sfx></line>
<line start="2254" end="2287" speaker="marzipan">Strong Bad, you're a horse's twees.</line>
<line start="2300" end="2328" speaker="strongbad">There you have it, Buck. Oh wait...</line>
<line start="2329" end="2343" speaker="strongbad">There you have it, Buck!</line>
<line start="2344" end="2420" speaker="strongbad">If that floozy's not all up ons after that, you gotta drop her like a trig class, see??!!??!</line>
<line start="2421" end="2461" speaker="buck">Tight, Strong Bad. Real tight.</line>
<line start="2462" end="2490" speaker="homestar">That's right. Keep that twees real tight.</line>
<line start="2491" end="2519" speaker="homestar">Flex it, flex it, shoulder stance. </line>
<line start="2520" end="2532" speaker="thepaper">preeow!</line>
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