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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail137.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="15" end="100" speaker="strongbad">I'm still here, after all these years, checkin' my email. Checkin' my email!</line>
    <line start="107" end="157" speaker="strongbad">"Hello Strong Bad, I can't seem to fall asleep latley and I was wondering,"</line>
    <line start="162" end="242" speaker="strongbad">"you know, if you would tell me a bedtime story. Good Night. Justin Wagley, Killer taxes"</line>
    <line start="249" end="322" speaker="strongbad">Justin Wagley, huh? Well, this just in, Wagley: I'm not your freakin' babysitter!</line>
    <line start="329" end="366" speaker="strongbad">Or your Dad. Or your dadbysitter.</line>
    <line start="373" end="435" speaker="strongbad">But I am The Cheat's dadbysitter and he's been having some serious problems falling asleep latley too,</line>
    <line start="441" end="489" speaker="strongbad">ever since he watched that shock-you-mentary about gingivitis.</line>
    <line start="496" end="575" speaker="announcer" voiceover="voiceover">In the final stages, the gums took on the appearance and taste of chocolate pudding.</line>
    <line start="576" end="589" speaker="thecheat">scared The Cheat noise</line>
    <line start="593" end="640" speaker="strongbad">We've had to cook up such an elaborate go-to-sleep scheme for The Cheat</line>
    <line start="642" end="684" speaker="strongbad">that I believe it's officially reached rigamarole status.</line>
    <line start="691" end="798" speaker="strongbad">Anyways, it all begins by making sure The Cheat has his security, um, item. A grodalated old sponge</line>
    <line start="799" end="859" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">covered in Band-Aids which he affectionately refers to as "The Denzel."</line>
    <line start="866" end="911" speaker="strongbad">Next, we have to prepare The Cheat's favorite bedtime snack.</line>
    <line start="918" end="970" speaker="strongbad">A tall glass of a little concoction he calls SUUDSU.</line>
    <line start="974" end="1027" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Skim milk, gummi bears, pure genius!</line>
    <line start="1033" end="1084" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">So, once he's safely cuddled up with The Denzel and his glass of Suudsu,</line>
    <line start="1089" end="1119" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">it's time to begin the bedtime story proper.</line>
    <line start="1123" end="1160" speaker="strongbad">Okay, The Cheat, are you ready for tonight's installment of...</line>
    <line start="1168" end="1206" speaker="pbtcstrongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Cheat's Cheatventures in Moses MaloneLand!</line>
    <line start="1215" end="1283" speaker="pbtcstrongbad" voiceover="voiceover">When we laugh left our heroes they had just won a debate against the minds of Mount Rushmore</line>
    <line start="1287" end="1340" speaker="pbtcstrongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and re-celebrating by shopping for some new wri— wristbands.</line>
    <line start="1343" end="1385" speaker="moses">Dang, The Cheat, you would look good with a pair of monster truck tires!</line>
    <line start="1386" end="1400" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1404" end="1438" speaker="moses">Now we're talkin'! Uh-oh! Maggot Man!</line>
    <line start="1441" end="1481" speaker="maggotman">Hey, guys, can I come over and play video games?</line>
    <line start="1484" end="1493">
        <thecheat>negative The Cheat noise</thecheat>
    <line start="1528" end="1570" speaker="moses">Nice work, little man. What do you say you and I go play some video games?</line>
    <line start="1571" end="1581" speaker="thecheat">affirmative The Cheat noise</line>
    <line start="1584" end="1593" speaker="moses">All right.</line>
    <line start="1596" end="1608">
        <moses>I got first game!</moses>
        <thecheat>The Cheat noises</thecheat>
    <line start="1611" end="1617" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="1618" end="1665" speaker="pbtcstrongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Next time on The Cheat's Cheatventures in Moses MaloneLand...</line>
    <line start="1686" end="1738" speaker="moses">The Adventures of Lolo? You better s-s-save saved the receipt!</line>
    <line start="1748" end="1837" speaker="strongbad">After I get sick of making up crap about The Cheat and Moses Malone, Strong Mad and I belt out his favorite lullaby.</line>
    <line start="1842" end="1864" speaker="sfx">chainsaw noises</line>
    <line start="1865" end="1971">
        <sfx>chainsaw noises</sfx>
    <line start="1972" end="1999" speaker="sfx">chainsaw noises</line>
    <line start="2001" end="2069" speaker="strongbad">And when that doesn't work, we call upon our good friend, 2 or 3 roach foggers.</line>
    <line start="2073" end="2091" speaker="strongbad">Sleep tight, sweet prince!</line>
    <line start="2099" end="2103" speaker="sfx">Clink</line>
    <line start="2108" end="2115" speaker="sfx">Slam</line>
    <line start="2128" end="2134" speaker="sfx">explosion</line>
    <line start="2139" end="2154" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat sighs</line>
    <line start="2157" end="2169" speaker="strongbad">How're his vitals?</line>
    <line start="2192" end="2197" speaker="sfx">beep</line>
    <line start="2198" end="2224" speaker="strongmad">WE'VE GOT A PULSE!</line>
    <line start="2229" end="2308" speaker="strongbad">So if we're lucky, The Cheat wakes up alive the next morning and fixes us all a big pitcher of suudsu.</line>
    <line start="2316" end="2380" speaker="strongbad">No foolin', man. That stuff is G-E-W-D, gewd.</line>
    <line start="2387" end="2453" speaker="strongbad">Hopefully you were able to at least cop a wicked contact buzz off of The Cheat's bedtime story, Wagley.</line>
    <line start="2458" end="2522" speaker="strongbad">Or off the fumes from those bug bombs. Either way, you should be losing consciousness any second now.</line>
    <line start="2523" end="2541">
          <strongbad>Or off the fumes from those bug bombs. Either way, you should be losing consciousness any second now.</strongbad>
          <sfx>speech slows down</sfx>
    <line start="2564" end="2576" speaker="thepaper">Preeeow</line>
    <line start="2603" end="2633" speaker="moses">Bayou Billy? I hope you saved the receipt!</line>
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