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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for garage sale. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8" ?>
  <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail129.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="17" end="74" speaker="strongbad">Here comes another email that I'll answer for you! Here comes another email that I'll answer for you!</line>
    <line start="82" end="92" speaker="strongbad">"Hey Strong Bad!"</line>
    <line start="93" end="125" speaker="strongbad">"I seriously think you need to have a garage sale!!"</line>
    <line start="126" end="170" speaker="strongbad">"I mean, think of all da things you could get with all that money."</line>
    <line start="171" end="198" speaker="strongbad">"Cat, and something I don't wanna read."</line>
    <line start="199" end="237" speaker="strongbad">What sort of 'da things' are we talking about here, Catman?</line>
    <line start="238" end="306" speaker="strongbad">'Da bomb' or, uh, 'da boyz' or even, uh, 'da hood?'</line>
    <line start="307" end="332" speaker="strongbad">Nah, I don't think I want any of dose.</line>
    <line start="342" end="375" speaker="strongbad">Lemme tell you a thing or two about garage sales:</line>
    <line start="376" end="423" speaker="strongbad">Ya ever get the feeling that the people just got lazy taking the trash out,</line>
    <line start="424" end="473" speaker="strongbad">so they stopped right there on the driveway and started putting price tags on things?</line>
    <line start="474" end="568" speaker="strongbad">I mean, isn't it just a little bit suspicious that there's only a one-letter difference between 'garage sale' and 'gar-<em>bahge</em> sale?'</line>
    <line start="569" end="610" speaker="strongbad">Except, don't ever say 'gar-<em>bahge</em>' like that.</line>
    <line start="611" end="674" speaker="strongbad">That's, like, the only joke Moms have and they can keep it for all I care.</line>
    <line start="675" end="725" speaker="strongbad">So then there's the issue of the sort of folks that frequent garage sales:</line>
    <line start="732" end="770" speaker="strongbad">Bottom feeders, lemme tell ya.</line>
    <line start="771" end="829">
      <sfx>music starts playing</sfx>
      <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">First, there's the haggler, the guy who spends all day trying to talk you down</strongbad>
    <line start="830" end="876" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">from a quarter to twenty-two cents for some worthless piece of crap.</line>
    <line start="877" end="923" speaker="bubs">I'll give ya two thin dimes for this pantyhose doll.</line>
    <line start="924" end="957" speaker="strongbad">First off... all... that is Aunt Gert.</line>
    <line start="958" end="1003" speaker="strongbad">And secondly, she's worth <em>way</em> more than the quarter I'm asking for her!</line>
    <line start="1004" end="1058" speaker="strongbad">Heck, I paid six-fifty for her new. And them's 1998 dollars!</line>
    <line start="1059" end="1122" speaker="bubs">Well, maybe if she was wearing a troll outfit, or a witch's hat or somethin'...</line>
    <line start="1123" end="1149" speaker="strongbad">I'll let it go for twenty-four cents.</line>
    <line start="1150" end="1172" speaker="bubs">Twenty-two and a half!</line>
    <line start="1173" end="1189" speaker="strongbad">You, my friend...</line>
    <line start="1190" end="1212" speaker="strongbad">Just bought yourself an Aunt Gert.</line>
    <line start="1213" end="1279">
      <sfx>music continues</sfx>
      <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">Next is the lurker. You know, the shady night-manager-at-Stuckey's type,</strongbad>
    <line start="1280" end="1318" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Who shades around all day but never buys anything.</line>
    <line start="1319" end="1352" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And you're like, "Is he there just to be seen?"</line>
    <line start="1355" end="1425" speaker="cardgage">Look at this can of peas, Helvetica. Won't you help me buy it for you?</line>
    <line start="1429" end="1488" speaker="strongsad">I'm finding it hard to express just how uncomfortable I am right now.</line>
    <line start="1489" end="1567" speaker="cardgage">I dan't know why. Exprecially since you have this can of peas to look forward to.</line>
    <line start="1570" end="1605" speaker="strongbad">Look, if you're not gonna buy anything, you gotta leave.</line>
    <line start="1606" end="1632" speaker="strongbad">You're drivin' away all my best customers!</line>
    <line start="1633" end="1688" speaker="strongsad">Ugh, I feel like I need a chemical shower after talking to that guy!</line>
    <line start="1689" end="1730" speaker="strongsad">Do we have an emergency eyewash station?</line>
    <line start="1731" end="1787" speaker="strongbad">At least he bought something, <em>lurker!</em> Go back to Stuckey's.</line>
    <line start="1788" end="1813">
      <sfx>music continues</sfx>
      <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">And last, but not least...</strongbad>
    <line start="1814" end="1828" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">There's Coach Z.</line>
    <line start="1834" end="1882" speaker="marzipan">Coach Z, may I ask why you're buying up all the "great for baby" items?</line>
    <line start="1883" end="1907" speaker="coachz">I'd prefer that ya didn't.</line>
    <line start="1913" end="2006" speaker="strongbad">Obviously, wasting your Saturday morning just to sell three dollars and nineteen cents' worth of trash isn't the real reason to have a garage sale.</line>
    <line start="2007" end="2051" speaker="strongbad">It's to get people out of their houses so The Cheat can ransack them!!</line>
    <line start="2052" end="2091">
      <sfx>music continues</sfx>
      <thecheat>humming The Cheat noises</thecheat>
    <line start="2092" end="2137" speaker="homestar">Hey, can you put this cow lamp back? We're running out of room in here.</line>
    <line start="2138" end="2183" speaker="homestar">You wouldn't get much for that thing anyways. It's not even a real cow.</line>
    <line start="2190" end="2259" speaker="strongbad">See? And then we make a killing when we sell the stuff back to them a few weeks later at an inflated price.</line>
    <line start="2264" end="2305" speaker="marzipan">Ooh, this is perfect! I've always wanted an answering machine!</line>
    <line start="2306" end="2349">
      <marzipan voiceover="voiceover">It's a great day at Marzipan's! Please leave me a message.</marzipan>
    <line start="2351" end="2402" speaker="strongbad">Uh, see, it <em>is</em> perfect! It already knows your name, even.</line>
    <line start="2403" end="2408" speaker="strongbad">Heh.</line>
    <line start="2411" end="2421" speaker="strongbad">Oooh, heh.</line>
    <line start="2423" end="2428" speaker="strongbad">Ee.</line>
    <line start="2431" end="2436" speaker="strongbad">Oh.</line>
    <line start="2440" end="2445" speaker="strongbad">Hmm.</line>
    <line start="2453" end="2463" speaker="strongbad">Peow!</line>
    <line start="2470" end="2493" speaker="marzipan">More like, <em>pree</em>-ow.</line>
    <line start="2494" end="2507" speaker="thepaper">Preeeeow</line>
    <line start="2523" end="2549" speaker="homestar">We've got a Homestar Runner for sale!</line>
    <line start="2550" end="2579" speaker="homestar">Slightly used and mostly confused.</line>
    <line start="2580" end="2608" speaker="homestar">We can't <em>give</em> these things away!</line>
    <line start="2611" end="2626" speaker="homestar">I'll take it.</line>
    <line start="2627" end="2641" speaker="homestar">I'll take twelve.</line>
    <line start="2646" end="2668" speaker="homestar">Drive one home today!</line>
    <line start="2688" end="2720" speaker="marzipan">This garage sale is more like a gar-<em>bahge</em> sale.</line>
    <line start="2721" end="2752" speaker="strongbad">DAHDAHDAHDAHDAH! Moms only!</line>
    <line start="2753" end="2775" speaker="coachz">Oh, then I'm okay to say it!</line>
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