Subtitles:sbemail119/en

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail119.swf" width="550" height="400">
     <line start="19" end="95" speaker="sfx">wind howls</line>
     <line start="96" end="153" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It is a time of desolation, chaos, and uncertainty.</line>
    <line start="157" end="205" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Brother pitted against brother; babies havin' babies.</line>
    <line start="207" end="241">
      <strongbad voiceover="keepithere"> then one day, from the right side of the screen,</strongbad>
      <sfx>wind stops howling</sfx>
    </line>
    <line start="246" end="261" speaker="strongbad">came a man.</line>
    <line start="266" end="302" speaker="strongbad">A man with a plastic rectangle...</line>
    <line start="310" end="339" speaker="strongbad">I MEAN LAPTOP COMPUTER!</line>
    <line start="341" end="386" speaker="sfx">start-up noise</line>
    <line start="387" end="483" speaker="strongbad">Now that is a classy start-up noise! Dong...ding! And check out all these speculations!</line>
    <line start="491" end="544" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Lappy 486 weighs in at an extremely portable forty-two pounds</line>
    <line start="547" end="594" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and features an impressive battery life of one half of ten minutes.</line>
    <line start="596" end="625" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Lappy 486 by Compy.</line>
    <line start="626" end="648" speaker="sfx">audience applauds</line>
    <line start="649" end="664">
        <sfx>audience applauds</sfx>
        <strongbad>All right! Let's see if this bad boy can check some email.</strongbad>
    </line>
    <line start="665" end="683" speaker="strongbad">All right! Let's see if this bad boy can check some email.</line>
    <line start="694" end="767" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, What would you like as if you were your own made up animal Sincerely, Spud Jr."</line>
    <line start="772" end="843" speaker="strongbad">Come now, Spud Jr. What would Spud Sr. think of such nightmarish grammar and punctuation?</line>
    <line start="845" end="891" speaker="strongbad">And poor Spudmom. "What would you like as if..."</line>
    <line start="897" end="941" speaker="strongbad">I at least hope you're good at sports, for their sake. All right, I'm done.</line>
    <line start="946" end="1038" speaker="strongbad">Well Stu-Pud Jr., If I was my own made up animal I would probably like as the coolest made up animal ever made up.</line>
    <line start="1041" end="1077" speaker="strongbad">I would have all the cool animal options and accessories:</line>
    <line start="1081" end="1091" speaker="strongbad">Claws</line>
    <line start="1093" end="1102" speaker="strongbad">Horns</line>
    <line start="1104" end="1113" speaker="strongbad">Tusks</line>
    <line start="1116" end="1124" speaker="strongbad">Tentacles</line>
    <line start="1128" end="1140" speaker="strongbad">Power Doors</line>
    <line start="1142" end="1165" speaker="strongbad">15 Year Drivetrain Warranty</line>
    <line start="1170" end="1182" speaker="strongbad">Proboscis</line>
    <line start="1184" end="1202" speaker="strongbad">Segmented Eyes</line>
    <line start="1205" end="1261" speaker="homestar">I say there, Monstrosity! Do you know the times?</line>
    <line start="1296" end="1341" speaker="strongbad">Oh. I guess I couldn't really talk with that proboscis.</line>
    <line start="1350" end="1398" speaker="strongbad">Not that I'd have much of an answer for "Do you know the times," anyway.</line>
    <line start="1403" end="1464" speaker="strongbad">Hmmm. Maybe I could be one of those deep-sea fangly fishes.</line>
    <line start="1467" end="1537" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You know, the kind that have Christmas lights all over them, and those custom lures hanging over their heads.</line>
    <line start="1538" end="1599" speaker="pbtchomestar">Right this way, everyone! Free puppies, ginger snaps, Pocket PCs...</line>
    <line start="1600" end="1648" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">'Cept I'd also have an awesome back deck on me for dinner and dancing!</line>
    <line start="1655" end="1724" speaker="pbtcstrongbad">Hey there, Baby Styles, do you want to watch me bench-press a lot... of weights?</line>
    <line start="1731" end="1772" speaker="pbtchomestar">Turn it out, Strong Bad, turn it out!</line>
    <line start="1774" end="1836" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, wait. How could I enjoy the dinner and dancing if I'm already the fanglyfish?</line>
    <line start="1845" end="1910" speaker="strongbad">Maybe I'm overthinking this. I should just come up with a cool name and the rest will like as itself.</line>
    <line start="1914" end="2006" speaker="strongbad">I would be called... da huuuuuudge.</line>
    <line start="2007" end="2017" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">The Hudge!</line>
    <line start="2026" end="2054" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Eew! No. No Hudge.</line>
    <line start="2055" end="2083" speaker="marzipan">Oh, wow! Look at the Hudge!</line>
    <line start="2085" end="2146" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um... How about...the red steckled elbermung?</line>
    <line start="2154" end="2166" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">No no no.</line>
    <line start="2173" end="2192" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um...the pardack?</line>
    <line start="2195" end="2237" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">What the? Why do these keep coming out as nasty blob things?</line>
    <line start="2240" end="2322" speaker="strongbad">Okay, okay, okay. Gotta look good for the Lappy. My made up animal would be called</line>
    <line start="2331" end="2343" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Sterrance.</line>
    <line start="2350" end="2425" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Hey, I did it! Look at Sterrance. Aw, Sterrance! I want one!</line>
    <line start="2430" end="2477" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Sterrance is way cuter than that stupid ugly old washed-up The Cheat I used to have.</line>
    <line start="2483" end="2493" speaker="thecheat">angry The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="2494" end="2525" speaker="strongbad">Oh, Captain Past-His-Prime himself.</line>
    <line start="2526" end="2531" speaker="thecheat">angry The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="2532" end="2563" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, I know you heard me. And I stand by it.</line>
    <line start="2564" end="2582" speaker="thecheat">angry The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="2584" end="2659" speaker="strongbad">Don't worry about him, Lappy. That's just The Cheat. He uses <em>new</em> computers. Psssh!</line>
    <line start="2661" end="2690" speaker="strongbad">The Paper, come on down and meet your new brother!</line>
    <line start="2700" end="2709" speaker="strongbad">Come on!</line>
    <line start="2718" end="2730" speaker="strongbad">It's okay!</line>
    <line start="2733" end="2753" speaker="strongbad">No, ah! Come on!</line>
    <line start="2758" end="2799" speaker="strongbad">Lappy's not going to bite you or tear at your perforated edges!</line>
    <line start="2807" end="2818" speaker="strongbad">That's it!</line>
    <line start="2826" end="2876" speaker="strongbad">Lappy, this is The Paper. He lets me know when I've stopped being funny!</line>
    <line start="2886" end="2912" speaker="strongbad">Oh! Sorry. Bye, everybody.</line>
    <line start="2930" end="2959" speaker="announcer">Second-place contestants receive deep sea fanglyfish.</line>
    <line start="2961" end="2979" speaker="announcer">Promotional considerations by Sterrance.</line>
    <line start="2980" end="3010" speaker="announcer">Strong Bad's wardrobe furnished by Styles Upon Styles.</line>
    <line start="3024" end="3067" speaker="pbtchomestar">Steep prices and trees!</line>
    <line start="3112" end="3190" speaker="pbtchomestar">Hey there, Baby Styles. This is a nice dancing club, right? Do you have a phone at your house?</line>
</transcript>
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