Subtitles:sbemail105/en

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search
Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for replacement. watch this toon
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome.
It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

en  de  he  es  fr  nl  fi  pl  pt-br  tr

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail105.swf" width="550" height="400">
    <line start="15" end="77" speaker="strongbad">Our next show is a family show. It...is...the email.</line>
    <line start="86" end="137" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, Have you ever thought who will take your place when you retire?"</line>
    <line start="139" end="167" speaker="strongbad">"Your friend, Jeffrey Desterhoft"</line>
    <line start="173" end="194" speaker="strongbad">You've got a good point there, Jeffy.</line>
    <line start="198" end="228" speaker="strongbad">I suppose I can't keep checking these e-mails forever.</line>
    <line start="234" end="267" speaker="strongbad">I never really thought about finding an heir to my throne before.</line>
    <line start="275" end="301" speaker="strongbad">Come to think of it, what ever happened to my throne?</line>
    <line start="310" end="375" speaker="strongbad"><em>(distorted)</em> Attention The Cheat. Customer needs assistance in e-mail. Customer needs assistance in e-mail.</line>
    <line start="381" end="410" speaker="strongbad">The Cheat, didn't I use to have a throne of some kind?</line>
    <line start="414" end="422" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="423" end="457" speaker="strongbad">No, no, no, this is my stool. I'm talking about a throne.</line>
    <line start="460" end="570" speaker="strongbad">You know, it had, like... gold nuggets on it, and... a hundred cup holders... some of them velvety cushions... you know, a throne.</line>
    <line start="575" end="615" speaker="strongbad">And I think I had a motorcycle, too. See if you can find those.</line>
    <line start="621" end="628" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="633" end="664" speaker="strongbad">I guess the best way to find a replacement is to</line>
    <line start="670" end="714" speaker="strongbad">subject a bunch of applicants to the same rigorous screening process</line>
    <line start="715" end="777" speaker="strongbad">that I subjected myself to when I started checking these emails?</line>
    <line start="786" end="819" speaker="strongbad">I'm gonna hold up a last name, and you make fun of it.</line>
    <line start="825" end="831" speaker="strongbad">Gargleman.</line>
    <line start="833" end="840" speaker="homestar">Crapface.</line>
    <line start="845" end="852" speaker="strongbad">Dumweiner.</line>
    <line start="855" end="869" speaker="homestar">Uhhhh, crapface.</line>
    <line start="871" end="878" speaker="strongbad">Butkus.</line>
    <line start="880" end="887" speaker="homestar">Crapface.</line>
    <line start="894" end="900" speaker="strongbad">Crambert.</line>
    <line start="905" end="913" speaker="homestar">Crapface?</line>
    <line start="916" end="926" speaker="strongbad">Desterhoft.</line>
    <line start="927" end="942" speaker="homestar">Let me think about it; Crapface.</line>
    <line start="948" end="966" speaker="strongbad">Whoa! Perfect score!</line>
    <line start="967" end="984" speaker="strongbad">Let's hear your best "deleted."</line>
    <line start="985" end="993" speaker="sfx">buzzer</line>
    <line start="995" end="1003" speaker="coachz">DELORTED!</line>
    <line start="1004" end="1020" speaker="sfx">distorted buzzer</line>
    <line start="1024" end="1053" speaker="strongbad">Strong Sad's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?</line>
    <line start="1054" end="1066" speaker="bubs">Kick him in the teeth!</line>
    <line start="1067" end="1103" speaker="strongbad">That's good, that's good, even though he might not have any teeth. What else?</line>
    <line start="1104" end="1118" speaker="bubs">Kick him in the grill!</line>
    <line start="1119" end="1131" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, yeah! Keep going!</line>
    <line start="1132" end="1145" speaker="bubs">Kick you in the grill!</line>
    <line start="1147" end="1171" speaker="strongbad">No, no, Bubs, calm down, this is only a drill!</line>
    <line start="1172" end="1195" speaker="strongbad">Let's hear your best "scroll buttons" song.</line>
    <line start="1197" end="1253" speaker="marzipan">And that's why I like to scroll, with scroll buttons!</line>
    <line start="1255" end="1290" speaker="strongbad">Oh, right, right, the worst song I ever heard.</line>
    <line start="1297" end="1307" speaker="strongbad">Play another one!</line>
    <line start="1313" end="1356" speaker="marzipan">Scroll buttons are good, they move you up and down,</line>
    <line start="1357" end="1380">
        <marzipan>they take you to...</marzipan>
        <strongbad sfx="sfx">groans</strongbad>
    </line>
    <line start="1381" end="1421" speaker="strongbad">Okay, Strong Sad, Strong Sad's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?</line>
    <line start="1422" end="1435" speaker="strongsad">Go make him some hummus!</line>
    <line start="1436" end="1456" speaker="strongbad">Hummus?! No, try something else.</line>
    <line start="1457" end="1474" speaker="strongsad">Uh... Give him a foot massage!</line>
    <line start="1483" end="1500" speaker="strongbad">Those are not feet!</line>
    <line start="1502" end="1526" speaker="strongbad">Now I want you to pretend this is The Cheat,</line>
    <line start="1527" end="1553" speaker="strongbad">and give him a good, swift, kick in The Cheat!</line>
    <line start="1562" end="1579" speaker="homestar">Umm... crapface.</line>
    <line start="1583" end="1639" speaker="strongbad">Ugh. This screening process is neither processing nor screening very well.</line>
    <line start="1644" end="1686" speaker="strongbad">I suppose I should cut to the chase and haul out the big guns...</line>
    <line start="1694" end="1714" speaker="strongbad">DANCE CONTEST!</line>
    <line start="1715" end="1850" speaker="sfx">upbeat music</line>
    <line start="1851" end="1909">
        <sfx>upbeat music</sfx>
        <strongmad>I'M STRONG MAD! I'M STRONG MAD!</strongmad>
    </line>
    <line start="1910" end="1944" speaker="sfx">upbeat music</line>
    <line start="1945" end="2004" speaker="homestar">And then I put it on my faaaaace...</line>
    <line start="2010" end="2065" speaker="strongbad">Uh, this dance contest is neither contesting nor dancing very well.</line>
    <line start="2070" end="2123" speaker="strongbad">Looks like I'm gonna be checking e-mails and kicking Cheats 'til the day I die.</line>
    <line start="2131" end="2160" speaker="strongbad">Whoa, that'd make an awesome tattoo!</line>
    <line start="2167" end="2185" speaker="strongbad">Or an even better epitaph!</line>
    <line start="2188" end="2209" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Here lies Strong Bad</line>
    <line start="2215" end="2251" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"Checking e-mails and kicking Cheats in the hereafter"</line>
    <line start="2261" end="2286" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Buried with his hundred girlfriends</line>
    <line start="2295" end="2313" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And like, a jillion dollars</line>
    <line start="2325" end="2342" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Please don't dig up the grave.</line>
    <line start="2438" end="2450" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">A-ttention The Cheat!</line>
    <line start="2451" end="2456" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="2457" end="2514" speaker="strongbad">Have you found that motorcycle yet? Maybe check in our... stock room.</line>
    <line start="2517" end="2523" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
    <line start="2527" end="2559" speaker="strongbad">And Dana needs more quarters on register three.</line>
</transcript>
Personal tools