Subtitles:pistols4pandas/en
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| These are the English subtitles for Pistols For Pandas. watch this toon
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome.
It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer. |
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="earthday.swf" width="550" height="400"> <line start="24" end="56" speaker="crack">Blah-hi, kids, BLAH'm Crack Stuntman.</line> <line start="57" end="98" speaker="crack">I used to do the voice of Cheat Commander on the cartoon man show</line> <line start="99" end="146" speaker="crack">until contractual mumbo-jumbo <em>(begins speaking quickly)</em> <em>screwed me out of the sweetest gig I ever had—</em></line> <line start="147" end="157" speaker="crack"><em>(pleading)</em> Please take me back!</line> <line start="158" end="160" sfx="sfx">Beep</line> <line start="161" end="212" speaker="crack"><em>(normal again)</em> But I'm also the voice of a much more important non-profit organization called—</line> <line start="213" end="240" speaker="crack" volume="1.4"><em>Non-profit?! What the bluh-what?!</em></line> <line start="242" end="268" speaker="crack">But <em>I'm</em> still get paid, right?</line> <line start="269" end="271" sfx="sfx">Beep</line> <line start="272" end="327" speaker="crack">But I'm also the voice of a non-profit organization called Pistols for Pandas,</line> <line start="328" end="363" speaker="crack">that I hold very near and dear to my new sunglasses.</line> <line start="364" end="379"> <crack>that I hold very near and dear to my new sunglasses.</crack> <sfx>Sparkling</sfx> </line> <line start="380" end="443" speaker="crack">In light of the recent made-up holiday designed to make your parents feel guilty about their car,</line> <line start="444" end="490" speaker="crack">I thought I'd tell you just how P-for-P gets small firearms</line> <line start="491" end="550" speaker="crack">into the paws of our planet's most adorable, and most unarmed, creatures.</line> <line start="551" end="584" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">For every dollar you give to Pistols for Pandas,</line> <line start="585" end="611"><crack voiceover="yes">we laugh at, 'cause, like, what good's a dollar gonna do?</crack><sfx volume="0.8">crowd laughing</sfx></line> <line start="612" end="634" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">we laugh at, 'cause, like, what good's a dollar gonna do?</line> <line start="635" end="663" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">But for every <em>five</em> dollars you give,</line> <line start="664" end="715" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">we buy one box of cereal with the best prize in it.</line> <line start="716" end="772" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">I eat said cereal, play with the prize, and save the box top.</line> <line start="773" end="838" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">Once we have enough box tops, I dress up like a fifth grader and take them to a local school.</line> <line start="839" end="933" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">That buys the school a computer, which I sneak out with after charming the horn-rimmed<br /> glasses off the media center lady.</line> <line start="934" end="1002" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">I take these computers to a local pawn shop, and exchange them for the weapons pandas need.</line> <line start="1003" end="1088" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">And finally, when nobody's looking, I dump these pistols into the panda habitat down at the local zoo.</line> <line start="1089" end="1173" speaker="crack">Did you hear that? I used the word "local" like three times.<br /> That means this good cause is even upittier than most!</line> <line start="1174" end="1179" speaker="sfx">buzzer</line> <line start="1180" end="1191" speaker="sfx">ding, dong, splat</line> <line start="1202" end="1249" speaker="crack">We're destroying these poor creatures faster than ever before.</line> <line start="1250" end="1342" speaker="crack">If we don't give them the means to protect themselves when we come clear-cut their bamboo forests<br /> and build a five-star resort, who will?</line> <line start="1350" end="1357" speaker="crack"><em>(very angrily)</em> <em>I</em> said several limes! This is two limes!</line> <line start="1358" end="1393"><crack><em>(very angrily)</em> <em>I</em> said several limes! This is two limes!</crack><sfx volume="0.7">chainsaw</sfx></line> <line start="1394" end="1396" speaker="sfx">bip</line> <line start="1397" end="1454" speaker="crack" voiceover="yes">Pistols For Pandas: This good cause is good...'cause!</line> <line start="1491" end="1510"><span style="visibility:hidden"><crack>...</crack></span><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line> <line start="1511" end="1577"><silentrip>Uh, Cheat Commander, are we supposed to be fighting the pandas or helping them?</silentrip><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line> <line start="1578" end="1621"><gunhaver>Who cares? I'm just psyched I got my old job back!</gunhaver><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line> <line start="1622" end="1643"><gunhaver>I love voice acting!</gunhaver><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line> <line start="1644" end="1662"><gunhaver sfx="yes">babbling</gunhaver><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line> <line start="1663" end="1686"><gunhaver>Look at that sweet, sweet lip synch.</gunhaver><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line> <line start="1687" end="1702"><span style="visibility:hidden"><crack>...</crack></span><sfx volume="0.8">lasers firing</sfx></line> </transcript>
