Editing dangeresque 3

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On receiving an email about [[Dangeresque (film series)|Dangeresque]] 3, Strong Bad reveals that he hasn't made it. Instead, he gives us a director's cut of Dangeresque 1.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Oh, here comes little email, with a gun in his hand...

'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, peoples won't leave me alone about this one! ''{clears screen, typing}'' Okay,okay,okay,okay. Dangeresque 3 production update! Day 114 ''{says "one-fourteen"}'': Things are comeing ''{again pronounced "koh-may-ing"}'' along right on schedule. So far, we seem to have only hit one major snag. Um, and that is I haven't um, ''{as he types, the text gets smaller and Strong Bad speaks under his breath}'' made Dangeresque 3 yet. ''{clears screen, text size returns to normal}'' But, before you start throwing full wine bottles at your computer screen, let me offer this as a cop-out: the digitally remastered director's cut of: ''Dangeresque 1: Dangeresque, too?''

'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''Brring... brring...'' Oh, my car phone. ''{He picks up a VCR with a phone cord coming out of it.''} You got Dangeresque. Who this is?

'''RENALDO:''' ''{He turns away from the camera and holds an [[Disconnected Telephones|unplugged phone]] receiver up to his ear.}'' Dangeresque, it's Renaldo. I need you back here away, right? I mean, right away.

'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{off-screen}'' Uh, I'm in a car right now, but I can drive it to the office.

'''RENALDO:''' ''{unemotionally}'' Sounds like a plan.

'''COACH Z:''' ''{turns back to the camera}'' How was tha{{--}}

''{Cut to Dangeresque in his car.}''

'''DANGERESQUE:''' Hang on, car phone! Get ready for some fancy driving!

''{Strong Bad makes the sound of a car squealing around corners while the camera moves left to make it seem as if he's moving forwards. One of the Gremlin's hubcaps rolls from the left of the screen. Then cut to the office. Dangeresque opens the door and walks in.}''

'''RENALDO:''' What took you so long?

'''DANGERESQUE:''' Oh, I had to swing by Cool Weapons Surplus for a new nunchuck gun. ''{He holds up a gun with a [[Wikipedia:Nunchaku|nunchaku]] taped to it.}'' And a Reesy Cup milkshake. ''{He holds up a milkshake cup with "Reesy Cup" printed on it.}''

 

'''RENALDO:''' Well, anyways, I called you in to meet your new partner: Dangeresque, too?

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' The name's Dangeresque. Nice to meet ya.

'''DANGERESQUE:''' Whaaa?

'''RENALDO:''' Dangeresque!

'''DANGERESQUE:''' Yeah?<br>

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' ''{simultaneously}'' What?

'''RENALDO:''' Perducci has intercepted the serum at the border! ''{He holds up the [[Periodicals|newspaper]] from [[stunt double]], this time with a taped-on headline reading "PERDUCCI IS THE BAD GUY."}'' If that serum doesn't make it through, they'll kidnap Cutesy Buttons!

'''DANGERESQUE & DANGERESQUE TOO:''' ''{shaking fists}'' Perducci!

''{Cut to Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too playing racquetball in the basement with Strong Bad's rendition of the Dangeresque theme tune as an accompaniment. Dangeresque Too serves the ball and they play a frantic volley, which ends when Dangeresque nearly hits Dangeresque Too's head with the ball.}''

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' ''{He removes his sunglasses.}'' What is your malfunction?

'''DANGERESQUE:''' Let's get one thing straight, meatball... face... butt: I work alone. 'Cept when I work with Renaldo... which is all the time.

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Oh yeah? Well, you need me because I'm the only one that knows where Perducci is, and where that is... ''{hesitantly, as if forgetting his lines}'' is that he is... in... Istanbul.

'''DANGERESQUE:''' Istanbul! Of course!

''{Blackout fade to The Field, with a musical interlude from Strong Bad. Dangeresque and Dangeresque Too are standing next to The Cheat, who is wearing a sandwich board reading "Istanbul."}''

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Perducci's got to be here around in Istanbul somewhere.

'''DANGERESQUE:''' I hope you're right. We've got to get that serum through...

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Let's ask this passers-by.

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' What do you know about Perducci, doughboy?

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' {{--}}what do you know about Perducci?

'''HOT TUB:''' ''{reluctantly}'' Only that I am not one of his minions.

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Well, thanks anyways. Move it along, hot tub!

'''DANGERESQUE:''' That stranger seemed to know a little bit too little about Perducci...

''{With another musical interlude, blackout fade to Strong Sad and the King of Town (who is silhouetted), on top of Bubs' Concession Stand. The King of Town is wearing a bowler hat, playing the role of Perducci.}''

'''PERDUCCI:''' What? Two Dangeresques? ''{He turns to the camera, revealing that he is wearing a blue coat, sunglasses and a name-tag reading "Hello, my name is perducci."}'' Well, they'll still be no match for my secret weapon!

''{Cut to a [[Silhouettes|silhouetted]] Strong Mad, whose gleaming white eyes are the only visible feature of his body. Strong Bad makes a scary tune over the top, then sings the first two notes of the Dangeresque theme song as the scene cuts to Homestar Runner and Strong Bad standing on top of a large sheet of wood, with lines drawn on it to look like the side of a tall building, holding a horizontal rope. The frame "jumps" again to the same shot, but rotated ninety degrees so that it looks as if the Dangeresques are climbing the building.}''

'''DANGERESQUE:''' Once we get to the top of this high-scraper, we'll hopefully be able to throw some people off. Maybe even Perducci.

''{They continue to "climb." Dangeresque Too's glasses fall onto the wood, which is quickly followed by cut to the top of the Concession Stand, where the Dangeresques meet the King of Town.}''

'''PERDUCCI:''' Dangeresque!

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Yeah?<br>

'''DANGERESQUE:''' ''{simultaneously}'' What?

'''PERDUCCI:''' Allow me to introduce you to both my secret weapon and your doom: ''{Perducci's hat flies up}'' Killingyouguy!

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Oh. Gad.

'''DANGERESQUE:''' That guy is tall.

'''DANGERESQUE & DANGERESQUE TOO:''' ''{to each other}'' You take the big guy.

'''DANGERESQUE TOO:''' The pipes are broken!

''{He leaps off. Cut to Dangeresque Too, suspended by a rope, whirling around and kicking Strong Sad repeatedly in the face. Strong Sad has a paper bag with Strong Mad's face, a bullet hole and a scar drawn on it on his head and is wearing his singlet.}''

'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{one exclamation for each hit}'' Oof! Ow! Ouff! Ouwh! Getting! Dizzy! Blacking! Out! Oof! Geez! Oouf!

''{Cut to Dangeresque, Renaldo (silhouetted) and Dangeresque Too (looking down on the fallen Killingyouguy).}''

'''RENALDO:''' Nice work there, Dangeresque!

'''DANGERESQUE & DANGERESQUE TOO:''' Thanks. ''{forced laugh}'' Ahahahahaha.

''{Marzipan, as Cutesy Buttons, approaches Renaldo, holding a glass of iced tea, with ice cubes and mint bobbing on the surface.}''

'''CUTESY BUTTONS:''' Mmm. Thanks for the serum, boys. Now I won't be kidnapped.

'''DANGERESQUE:''' Oh no...

'''DANGERESQUE & DANGERESQUE TOO:''' ...Looks like we're going to have to jump!

Riding in a Corvette, and feeling all right,<br>

Riding in a Corvette, and feeling all right,<br>

'''Dangeresque {{--}} Strong Bad'''<br>

'''Dangeresque {{--}} Homestar Runner'''<br>

'''Renaldo {{--}} Coach Z'''<br>

'''Perducci {{--}} The King of Town'''<br>

'''Cutesy Buttons {{--}} Marzipan'''<br>

'''Killingyouguy {{--}} Himself'''<br>

'''Passerby(Hot Tub) {{--}} El Dumpo'''<br>

'''Istanbul {{--}} The Cheat'''

*Click on Strong Bad's Dangeresque glasses at the end for the option to [[Miscellaneous Downloads|download]] "[[Today is Alright 4 2Nite]]", a song from the movie made by Strong Bad.

*At the end of [[stunt double]], Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective was said to be coming out in June 2004, which is when this email came out. Also, it was supposed to be 'in 3D', which is why the sign in the beginning says 'not in 3D'.

*{{w|Istanbul}} is the largest city in {{w|Turkey}}.

*Assuming that production has continued uninterrupted for 114 straight days, if June 21, 2004 was the 114th day of production, that would place day 1 on February 29, meaning Strong Bad didn't even start Dangeresque 3 until seven-and-a-half months after [[stunt double]].

**If production was halted during weekends, then day 1 would be January 14, still almost six months after the release of [[stunt double]].

*Up until the release of [[portrait]], the file sbemail106.swf was the biggest email to date, coming in at 1265KB. The large size is mostly due to the 3 frames of TV static (167KB from those three frames alone), and the noisy still image (287KB) at the end.

*To promote [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]], this email was added to the Wii [http://us.wii.com/channel_nintendo.jsp Nintendo Channel] on November 17, 2008.

*Homestar is able to successfully act in a movie, despite his history of always [[Poor Acting|getting his lines wrong]] when being filmed, as seen in [[Fluffy Puff Commercial]] and [[First Time Here?]].

*When Strong Bad and Homestar are suspended in air after jumping off the side of the building, Strong Bad's glasses are shown darker than the rest of his silhouette.

*Strong Bad's line "I work alone. 'Cept when I work with Renaldo. Which is all the time" is a line from "[[The Theme from Dangeresque II]]", from [[Strong Bad Sings and Other Type Hits]].

*Dangeresque's door reads (backwards) ''DANGERESQUE Private Eye/Crooked Cop'' which is also a reference to the [[Strong Bad Sings]] CD.

*[[The VCR]] used for the car phone is from [[12:00]] and the [[Character Videos]] page.

**To read the exact text of the newspaper, see [[stunt double#Trivia|its trivia section]].

*"I'm gonna have to jump!" is a reference to stunt double, as is the whole email.

*The {{w|Chevrolet Corvette|Corvette}} is a sports car made by {{wp|Chevrolet}}. Such cars are common in action films.

*"What is your malfunction?" is a reference to [[Stanley Kubrick]]'s Vietnam War movie ''{{wp|Full Metal Jacket}}''.

*The scene of the two Dangeresques climbing up the "skyscraper" is a parody of [http://www.66batmania.com/trivia/bat-climb/ the "Bat Climb"], a running gag from the '60s ''[[Batman]]'' TV series. Also, the final shot of the movie that says "The End?" is a reference to the 1966 ''[[imdb:tt0060153|Batman]]'' movie, which ends with a similar question.

*Homestar's line "The pipes are broken!" spinning kick is a reference to the "Tatsumaki Senpuukyaku" (typically translated to "Hurricane Kick") attack from the ''[[Street Fighter]]'' series of games. ''Street Fighter II'' featured heavily compressed Japanese audio lines which were hard to understand, especially if the listener did not speak Japanese, and led to humorous misinterpretations.

*"Reesy Cup Milkshake" is a reference to {{wp|Reese's Peanut Butter Cups}} candy, which is often served in milkshakes.

*"Doughboy" may be a reference to the {{wp|Pillsbury Doughboy}}.

*"Here comes little email with a gun in his hand," in addition to the inside reference ''(See above)'', could also be reference to the song "Little Man With a Gun in His Hand" by the {{w|Minutemen (band)|Minutemen}}, one of Matt Chapman's favorite bands.

**"Little Man With a Gun in His Hand" is on the album ''{{wp|Double Nickels on the Dime}}'', which is one of Matt Chapman's all-time favorite albums.

*The hubcap coming off the Gremlin is a reference to the movie ''{{w|Bullitt#Car chase|Bullitt}}'', which was one of the first movies to have a "renegade cop" as its main character, and had one of the earliest and most influential car chase sequences in movie history. The car that Bullitt was chasing lost multiple hubcaps during the chase.

*The Cheat's black [[paint]] is very similar to the yellow paint in [[Cool Things]].

*Another teaser poster for Dangeresque 3 can be seen in [[Strong Bad's room]] in [[Strong Badia the Free]]. He mentions that he could've been done with Dangeresque 3 if he hadn't been working on the poster.

**Also, in Strong Badia the Free, the narrator calls Strong Sad "doughboy" again.

*[[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] was finally released on November 17, 2008 as episode four of [[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]].

*Dangeresque Too's "the pipes are broken" line is referenced by [[Stingy Relenque]] in [[Dangeresque Puppet Squad: The Hot Jones Hijack]].

*The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch the DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

'''MATT:''' All right. ''{in a high voice}'' Oh! Hello! This is... the phone!

'''MIKE:''' All right, so this was, uh, yee, about the time we said... Strong Bad said that, uh, ''Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective'' would come out.

'''MATT:''' June, of twenty-oh-...

'''MIKE:''' June of 2004. We sorta considered actually doing it, but, of course, you know, it was supposed to be in 3D, and we knew we weren't gonna...

'''MIKE:''' ...Still think that ''Dangeresque 3'' is coming out.

'''MATT:''' Right. And they complained that, and it's just, but, you don't... you... you basically are getting ''Dangeresque 3''. Here's something you've never seen, and people are, aw, they just put that old "Dangeresque 1" up there. Uh, so Strong{{--}}

'''MATT:''' And start watching ''Splash''!  

'''MATT:''' Right now! Take this out of the DVD player and put ''Splash'' in.

'''MIKE:''' So Strong Bad, er, rather, that's The Cheat there, Mike. The Cheat reprises his role as "The Popular Vote" from the Christmas episode as "Istanbul". We just had to modify his costume.

'''MATT:''' This is a ref{{--}}a double reference to, obviously, the old ''Batman'' TV show where they would do this cheap special effect to be climbing up a wall, and then my friend Neil and I's attempt to do it in an episode of "Captain Idiot", I believe it was in.

'''MATT:''' That, of course, what we... it sounds like Ken says in "Street Fighter" when he does the Hurricane Kick, or whatever it's called. "The pipes are broken."

*{{w|Sonic Drive-In|Sonic Burger}} is a chain of fast-food restaurants. The Brothers Chaps did in fact talk about Sonic Burger on the last DVD set, in the [[comic#DVD Version|commentary]] for [[comic]].

*''{{w|Cape Fear (1991 film)|Cape Fear}}'' is a 1991 thriller about public defender Sam Bowden ({{wp|Nick Nolte}}) who is stalked by an ex-convict he defended. Bowden plays racquetball in early scenes.<!--original movie is irrelevant for this purpose-->

*''{{w|Splash (film)|Splash}}'' is a 1984 movie about a man (played by {{wp|Tom Hanks}}) who falls in love with a mermaid (played by {{wp||Daryl Hannah}}). {{wp|John Candy}} appears as Hanks' brother and the two play racquetball in a memorable scene where a serve by Candy ricochets and hits him in the head (similar to what nearly happens to Dangeresque Too).

*A {{wp|mint julep}} is a mixed drink with mint leaves and bourbon.

*"The end credits photo montage" from [[montage]] is mentioned.

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