From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 10:47, 2 April 2013 by RickTommy (Talk | contribs)
Jump to: navigation, search

Strong Bad finally answers his 206th email, and mostly gets emails about things that annoy him. Or rather, things that annoy me.


{The lights are off. Strong Bad turns them on, walks into the room, and blows the dust off his computer.}

STRONG BAD: Ah, Compé, we meet again.


{The Compé refuses to run after being abandoned for a long time. To make a long story short, Strong Bad gets a new computer.}

STRONG BAD: {types "strongbad_email.exe"} Oh, checking my email after 3 1/2 years... just like a floppy disk...

{Strong Bad yells to reflect the email being written in all-caps, and pronounces "Y U" as "ee ooh"}

STRONG BAD: How about you write in a full sentence? I'm just going to have your email... DELETED!!

STRONG BAD: Okay, next email!

{says "competitive" in a sarcastic voice, while making what looks like an irony gesture with his boxing gloves}

STRONG BAD: Well, Scotty Patty, I have this to say to those Melee fanboys: SHUT UP. Forget your stupid "wavedashing" and "no items, Fox only, Final Destination" and all of that other tournament nonsense. Play the REAL game. Y'know, with basic techniques, all items, all characters, and all stages. As for Brawl, it may be one of those new-fangled games, but it's a good accompaniment to my point-and-click-'em-up adventure! I don't want no more guys bashing it for that reason! Next!

{only reads up to "Prepare yourself", and is angry by then}

STRONG BAD: Ahem. Yoshi can so talk! Haven't you heard of, "They told me that I might see you if I waited here, but I'd just about given up hope!"? Or, "I am the kindest one ever, so the Kindness Star Stamp belongs to me!"? And why did you email me all of that anyway? DELETED!!

STRONG BAD: What's next?

STRONG BAD: Now that's more like it! I'll be sure to read the rest of this fan fiction once I've dealt with all these emails that have been waiting for me. Next!

STRONG BAD: You're darn right it's a stupid site, Aaron! People using it with no productive purpose... whatever happened to, well, not Twitter? And the fact that it has started to screw up so many sites? And the fact that it has brainwashed everyone? People have become zombies from using Twitter! Good riddance to that pointless site, I say! Next email!

STRONG BAD: {not typed. quietly} Another email that mentions Yoshi! {typed, normal voice} Yes, I do! I support all three of them! They're the most logical Nintendo couples, and I hope we'll be seeing more of them, in fan fiction and in the games! Stupid fan fiction that pairs them with seemingly random characters... not to mention people who think Birdo is a cross-dresser... OKAY! NEXT EMAIL!

{reads it in a mock-excited voice}

STRONG BAD: Oh, another Melee fanboy. I know just what to do with you...

{He slowly raises his fists, saying "Ahh...ahh..." as the camera dims and suspenseful music plays. After 15 seconds, he suddenly drops his fists onto the keyboard, and screams,}


{This is heard all over Free Country, USA, as the following quick shots show: Homestar Runner in his house; Marzipan in her house; Strong Mad, Strong Sad, and The Cheat in the middle of the field; Coach Z in his locker room; Bubs in his concession stand; Pom Pom in Club Technocholate; The King of Town and the Poopsmith in the King's castle; Homsar in the Gymnasium; and Senor Cardgage at his shrub. They all show looks of surprise.}

STRONG BAD: I lied, Josh. That was the hardest email I ever deleted.

STRONG BAD: I think it's stupid. For the big-name games, at least. For games like my adventure, it's okay, but for the big games? NO WAY, MAN! A physical copy of a game has better value than a digital copy, I say! Digital distribution, I hope you stop! Okay, next!

STRONG BAD: No questions asked, Davin, they should remain old. Stupid HD and the return of people we thought we'd never hear from again...

STRONG BAD: You're decidedly normal, all right. As for Internet memes, just like you, I hate them for ruining a lot of games, and for corrupting peoples' minds by making their English wrong! Not to mention they're overused!

{reads in a monotone to reflect the lack of punctuation}

STRONG BAD: No WAY are you profiting off my cartoons! Especially with those retarded smartphone thingies that have been a hip trend lately! So you can forget it, 'cause your email is going to be... DELETED!!

STRONG BAD: Whoa! I haven't deleted this many emails since forever!

STRONG BAD: No questions asked, Snake, I think they're dumb! I make jokes about media all the time, but at least they're child-friendly, the same level as the media in question! Not unlike the retarded jokes that go well into adult territory! Anyway, NEXT!!

STRONG BAD: I went over this that other time I answered many emails, Scabman. They're dumb and they make you look unintelligent. Oh, and by the way... DELETED!!

STRONG BAD: Okay! Time for a break!

{He gets up, and the Geddup Noise is heard. After 10 seconds, Homestar appears.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad! What was all that racket about? You scared everyone in Free Country! {suddenly surprised} Oh! You're not here. Well, I'll just take care of this...

{5 minutes later...}

{The screen is now filled with most of the "deleted" words from 50 emails, plus a handful of other words similar to "deleted"}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What is that stupid word again...? I clearly heard Strong Bad scream it not too long ago, but I just can't remember...

STRONG SAD: {offscreen} That's 'cause you're such an idiot!

{The Compy 386's startup noise plays as the following screen is shown:}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'll say this again: this does not look good for Homestar Runner.

{Strong Bad comes back into the computer room}

STRONG BAD: HOMESTAR!! What the crap did you just do to my emails?!?

HOMESTAR: Well...I...

{Strong Bad, distraught, yells and charges at Homestar as the screen fades to black. Punching noises can be heard, and Homestar can be heard going "Ow!" several times. Cut back to the computer. Envelope Paper comes down.}

Fun Facts

Feel free to fill this section out!

Personal tools