The House Gave Sucky Tricks

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{{toonnav|Holiday Toon|ween09|Decomposing Pumpkins|Fan Costumes '09}}
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#redirect [[The House That Gave Sucky Tricks]]
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[[StCadaverstumps.png|thumb|"If I had a haunted house I think it would turn out something like the following cartoon!"]]
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Strong Bad imagines what his haunted house would looks like.
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Mad}}, {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}
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{{costumeslink}}
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'''Places:''' [[Homestar's House]]
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'''Date:''' Thursday, October 29, 2015
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'''Page Title:''' St. Cadaverstump's Home for Wayward Sbemails
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==Transcript==
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'''STRONG MAD:''' This Halloween's not working!
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Boy, you said it Strong Mad.  This is the lamest haunted house ever.  My pants haven't entertained the thought of peeing themselves even once.
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Scary shoes!
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'''STRONG BAD''': Really? Spooky shoes?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': No, no. Scary shoes.  Spooky shoes are the next room.
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'''STRONG BAD''': Homestar, your haunted house is even worse than normal this year.  You ever think of using any actual Halloween decorations?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': No, Marzipan only let me use stuff from the goodwill donations pile.  Incomplete jigsaw puzzle!
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'''THE CHEAT''': Meh!
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'''STRONG BAD''': This place is a disgrace to haunted houses, haunted hovels, haunted timeshares, and haunted extended stay motels even.  Why, if I had a haunted house, I think it would turn out a little something... like the following cartoon!
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'''STRONG BAD''': Welcome to St. Cadaverstump's totally not just an old furniture warehouse morgue-tuary!
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'''ANNOUNCER''': Open weeknights in October. Located just off I-20.
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'''STRONG BAD''': The first room would come out swingin', with everybody's favorite jibblies painting, The Jibblies Painting!
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'''THE JIBBLIES PAINTING''': Come on in here!
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'''STRONG BAD''': Yeah, yeah. We've all heard that before. But in order to take it to the next level, my haunted house would have a horrible painting of... somebody's dad!
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'''SOMEBODY'S DAD PAINTING''': Uh, hey, hey, hey, hey.  Well, come on in here!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Why is he wearing cycling gear? He's not even that serious about riding!
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'''SOMEBODY'S DAD PAINTING''': Hey, I can do a 220 in 4:45.
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Ahhh!
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'''STRONG BAD''': Then there would be... the gross out room.  But instead of severed limbs and surgeries gone wrong...
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'''MARZIPAN''': Ahhh!
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'''STRONG BAD''': It's just a silent white room filled with pure stench.  And, oh, ho, ho.  What a stench it is!  Let me lay it on you like a movie trailer.
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'''STRONG BAD''': Strong Mad! Oyster! Smoothie! Breath! Caked! Armpit! Latte!
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'''MARZIPAN''': Strong Bad, you know the words in that sequence are illegal.  Arrest him King of Town!
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'''KING OF TOWN''': Keep piling up that smell poopsmith!  Wait, I can arrest people?
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'''MARZIPAN''': I think so, I mean you're allowed to execute people, right?
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'''KING OF TOWN''': Do the words 'doo hoo hoo' mean anything to you?
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'''STRONG BAD''': Ooh!  There'd also be one of those immersive horror experience rooms that are so popular these days
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'''STRONG SAD''': OK. Gotta logic this out.  Open a vault before time runs out.  Skeleton's pointing at a clue. Am I on the right track?
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'''STRONG BAD''': Now, just reach in the toilet.  I just want you to reach in the toilet.
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'''STRONG SAD''': It's pointing at the toilet.
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'''STRONG BAD''': It's full of poop.
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'''STRONG SAD''': But that's just misdirection.
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'''STRONG BAD''': I just want you to touch the poop.
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'''STRONG SAD''': They want me to think I should reach in the toilet.
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'''STRONG BAD''': No! I do want you to reach in the toilet! That is all that I want you to do!
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'''STRONG SAD''': It's too easy.
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'''STRONG BAD''': Touch the poop!
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'''STRONG SAD''': But I know better!
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'''STRONG BAD''': Touch the freakin' poop!
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'''STRONG BAD''': Most horror stuff is pretty obvious.  Like, of course it's terrifying to get disemjowel'd with a lunatic with a machete.
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'''STRONG SAD''': Machété!
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'''STRONG BAD''': Shut up! But I think people are ready for the more subtle terror of... Two star bed and breakfast!
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'''COACH Z''': It's somehow worse than if it only got one star!
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'''BUBS''': Dry scrambled eggs? Questionable hairs on the antimacassar?
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'''STRONG SAD''': Antimacassar!
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'''BUBS''': Shut up!
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'''COACH Z''': Failed terlet paper rose! What kind of inhuman monsters would run a place like this?
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'''SHUT UP LADY''': Oh, it's so charming!
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'''COACH Z AND BUBS''': Shut up, lady!
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'''STRONG BAD''': Nowadays, everybody's tired of the same old evil clowns, undead cheerleaders, and all those bloody-eyed found footage children. 
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'''THE SAD GIRL''': Nine.
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'''THE SAD BOY''': Sequels.
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'''STRONG BAD''': But for my haunted house, I will unleash an entirely new horror icon! Say hello to the new face of terror! Large bean!
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'''STRONG BAD''': Come on, anybody? Don't you think that Large Bean is unsettling?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': And next on our tour, if you'll all please gather around. Fill in all available space please. We have a prime specimen of large bean.
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'''STRONG BAD''': Wait.  What, what the crap is this?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Other varieties include, small bean.
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'''STRONG BAD''': Stop it!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Extra large bean.
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'''STRONG BAD''': This is not a science museum!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': And, of course my favorite... teenie weenie beanie.
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'''STRONG BAD''': You do not call large bean 'teenie weenie beanie'!
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'''STRONG SAD''': I sure hope they sell large bean plush dolls in the museum gift shop!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': I think you might be pleasantly surprised, young scholar!
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'''STRONG BAD''': Shut up! Large bean will eat your soul! He'll eat all your souls!
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Wow Strong Bad, the spooky shoes room really effected you this year, huh?
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'''STRONG BAD''': I thought this was the scary shoes room?
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Oh, right.  Close your eyes.
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'''STRONG BAD''': Um... OK.
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'''HOMESTAR RUNNER''': Open 'em. You're in the spooky shoes room now.
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'''STRONG BAD''': Uh.  You were right Strong Mad.  This Halloween's not working.
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'''NARRATOR''': When nights are chill and filled with doom, again will rise the cursed legume. So if you're out on Hallowe'en, beware the wrath of Largest Bean! Ah ha ha ha!
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'''STRONG BAD''': See? This guy respects Large Bean.
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'''NARRATOR''': I'm sorry Strong Bad.  I... I can't get behind Large Bean.
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==External Links==
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{{extlinks|ween15}}
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{{halloweennav}}
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[[Category:Books]]
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Current revision as of 20:51, 29 October 2015

  1. redirect The House That Gave Sucky Tricks
Retrieved from "http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/The_House_Gave_Sucky_Tricks"
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