Homestar Presents: Presents
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Homestar does some last-minute Decemberween shopping.
Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Strong Mad, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homsar, Bubs, Coach Z, Strong Sad, Marzipan, Pom Pom (Easter Egg), The King of Town (Easter Egg), The Poopsmith (Easter Egg)
Page Title: White and Drifted Snow, Yo!
Contents |
Transcript
{Wintery music plays as the camera zooms in on Homestar's clock; it flips from 9:59 to 10:00. Cut to Homestar Runner in bed yawning. Homestar sits up and looks out the window, and the music stops with a record needle sound.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh crap! I set the alarm for 10 PM instead of AM again!
{While Homestar says this, cut to outside Homestar's window looking in, then back inside again.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I was supposed to go Decemberween shopping today!
{Another record needle sound as the camera focuses on a page-a-day calendar, which reads 'Dec. 25 - "The D'Ween, Yo."'}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh crap! It's Decemberween already!
{Homestar jumps out of bed and runs off, hitting the wall.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh crap! I ran into the door!
{Homestar gets up and runs off again. The camera shakes to banging noises offscreen.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: (dryly) Oh crap, I fell down the stairs.
{Cut to outside Homestar's house. A naked Homestar leaps outside and looks around.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: (sighing) And now, I ran out of the house, naked somehow.
{Homestar looks up at the snow.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh, but it is snowing.
{Cut back to the calendar, over which the cartoon title appears, then to a mountain view with the the title "Blah blah blah - The Brothers Chaps", then to the side of a Decemberween-decorated side of Bubs' Concession Stand and the title "Vocal Styles by Missy & Matt", then to the Strongs' living room with and the title "Here we go."}
{In the Strongs' living room, a toy set and present wrappings are on the floor. Strong Mad is tossing a rock with a winking face drawn on it and a ribbon up and catching it.}
STRONG MAD: I love you, Tony Stony! (holding Tony Stony in front of his face) No, I love you more!
{The camera pans over to reveal Strong Bad playing with an extending claw toy in front of a box labelled "Grabbo Arm".}
STRONG BAD: This thing is awesome. The Grabbo Arm demands respect. (To Strong Mad) I'd like to see somebody front on this. Hey, The Cheat.
THE CHEAT: (off-camera) Meh?
STRONG BAD: Grab ahold of that egg nog.
THE CHEAT: (off-camera) ("Okay" noise)
{The Cheat yelps as Strong Bad extends the Grabbo Arm to grab him, wearing antlers and holding a glass of egg nog.}
STRONG BAD: Thanks, man.
{Cut outside, to Homsar waving a paintbrush, standing next to a Salvation Army-like red pail with a sign over it reading "Baked Beans". Homestar runs by, then skids to a stop in the snow and turns around.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Listen up, shortstop. I need some presents.
HOMSAR: Alms for the pudgy. Alms for the pudgy.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uhm, I don't know what any of that means, but I will make use of your complimentary spit bucket. Ah-ptoo!
{Homestar spits into the bucket and runs off.}
HOMSAR: You're a real state trooper.
{Homestar runs across the countryside in silhouette, then to Bubs' Concession Stand.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: (quickly) Bubs I need to buy everyone and their brother a Decemberween present! (panting)
BUBS: Running a little late, aren't we Homestar?
{Zoom in on Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I've got an hour and firty-five minutes. What do you got?
BUBS: (motioning to his left) Well, there's a bunch of my aught-four crap in that filthy box over there. Gotta make room for the aught-five crap!
{Homestar walks over to the box, clearly labelled "aught four crap", and kneels down. The camera switches to inside the box looking out.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, what do we got here? (pulls out electrical tape) Electrical tape? Pom-Pom loves electrical tape. What else, what else? Ooh, rusty steak knife. That's got Coach Z written all over it.
{Cut to the locker room. Coach Z is sitting on the bench in front of a TV dinner on a TV tray.}
COACH Z: Ooh, salisbury steak. Ring ring! (Picks up a phone with frayed wires, not attached to anything) Helloar? Ooh, Mom! Well, a very cheery Decemberween to you too! (shakes his head) Oh, Dad, it's you. Sorry about that. Yes, sir, I cooked a turkey, with the gravied yams and stuffinged ham. No, I'm not alone. Yes, this phone is plugged in.
{The lights suddenly go out.}
COACH Z: Aww, crackles. (Dejectedly) I forgot to pay my bills again this year...
{Cut back to Bubs' concession stand. Homestar pulls out a banana with an arrow through it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Bubs, check this out. For the Poopsmith who has everything.
BUBS: You give me anything in that box, you'll be gettin' a kick in the skull with a ribbon on it.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Right right. Ribbons. Bubs loves ribbons. Lessee, Strong Sad. Don't need to worry about Strong Sad.
{Cut to an old fashioned bathtub with chains holding the boards covering the top in place.}
STRONG SAD: (singing, from inside the tub) One night in Bangkok and the rough got rougher...
{Cut to Marzipan's house, where she is sitting on the couch sporting lights in her hair.}
MARZIPAN: If Homestar doesn't get here soon with my present, I'm gonna cook his goose.
{Homestar runs in and trips, falling flat on his face in front of Marzipan. He gets up in a daze and hands Marzipan a wrapped present.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: (groggily) Happy Decemberween, Marzi-man.
{Homestar falls back on the floor and Marzipan opens the present.}
MARZIPAN: (disappointingly) Wire cutters...?
{Strong Bad walks in.}
STRONG BAD: Foolish Homestar. Decemberween is not about getting people presents. It's about getting people good presents! Good presents! Not this last-minute discount crap you're trying to foist on us!
MARZIPAN: (interrupting) Oh, Homestar, it's perfect!
HOMESTAR RUNNER and STRONG BAD: It is?
MARZIPAN: This is just I need to free the baby seals from the crab traps down at the wharf. (singing to herself) Free the baby seals...
{Marzipan walks off, smiling.}
STRONG BAD: Well, shut my mouth.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well well, Strong-o Bad-o. Looks like the ol' captain of the team still has what it takes.
STRONG BAD: (brandishing his Grabbo Arm) Oh yeah? Well, the Grabbo Arm has what it takes, (extends the arm) and what it takes is Marzipan's purse.
{The Grabbo Arm comes back with Marzipan's purse.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No skin off my back.
STRONG BAD: Hey, thanks! Have a nice last seven minutes of Decemberween, Homestar.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: (increduously) There's only seven minutes left of Decemberween?! Oh, crap! I forgot to get everyone presents!
{Homestar runs off again.}
STRONG BAD: Ugh, it goes on and on like this.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: (off-camera) Oh, crap! There's only seven minutes left of Decemberween?!
{Homestar Runner runs back behind Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: Seriously. Like until New Year's.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: (off-camera) Oh, crap!
STRONG BAD: I didn't know we had any wharfs.
{The camera returns to Homestar's clock, which displays the number of minutes remaining until Decemberween, depending on your computer's clock. The back button appears.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "Homestar's Clock" at the end to see the what happened to the three main characters left out of this toon.
- {The King of Town, the Poopsmith, and Pom-Pom sit around a table in what is probably the King of Town's castle, two cans labeled "gravied yams" and "stuffinged ham" on the table. On the wall behind them is a sign that reads, "Left Out Characters' Support Group."}
- THE KING OF TOWN: Pass the gravied yams, please. And don't bogart that stuffinged ham neither!
Fun Facts
- This toon appeared at approximately 1:36 AM EST on Monday 20 December 2004.
- The toy on the floor in the Strongs' living room is a Capsela set, a module-based construction set which can be used to make portable fans, real floating boats, all manner of wheel and caterpillar-driven vehicles, and even remote-controlled robots. It appears as though their set in particular was used to make a boat (the "balloon" capsules on the bottom are a dead giveaway).
- Strong Sad being locked in the bathtub is a reference to The Best Decemberween Ever, when he says that's what his brothers do to him every Decemberween.
- At the end, Homestar's Clock shows how many minutes are left of Decemberween. The clock runs on your computer's clock and counts down to midnight on December 26. If the time runs out, the clock reads "It's Over", then starts over from 525,600 minutes left. You can also force it to say "It's Over" if you right-click on the toon and pick "Play" from the menu (only works if viewing the flash file directly).
- The voices in this toon seem to be recorded in a higher quality than usual.
- The song Strong Sad sings in the bathtub is a reference to "One Night in Bangkok" composed and written by Benny Anderson, Tim Rice, Bjsrn Ulvaeus, and is from the musical Chess. However, the lyric he executes was not part of the original musical, but rather a commentary on his situation.
- Homestar dressed in his pajamas with a cinnamon stubble is a reference to caper.
- Strong Bad gives his own take on the morals from the Garfield Christmas Special, in which Garfield says "Christmas: It's not the giving. It's not the getting. It's the loving."
