Editing Comic Book Movie
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[[Image:ComicBookMovie.png|thumb|"Are you crazy?"]] | [[Image:ComicBookMovie.png|thumb|"Are you crazy?"]] | ||
+ | '''[[strongbad_email.exe]] Bonus Email #6''' | ||
Strong Bad explains what a Strong Badman movie might be like. | Strong Bad explains what a Strong Badman movie might be like. | ||
- | '''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Strong Badman}} | + | '''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Strong Badman}}, {{film|Crack Stuntman}}, {{Film|The Cheat}} |
'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]] | '''Places:''' [[Computer Room]] | ||
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</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
- | ''{ | + | ''{Pauses at "Kindred soul" and says: "Kindred soul? You sound like a religious metal band. You know, the kind that try and offset their religiousness with evil fonts and drippy graphics! A death metal band sings: 'Alive as ooone!' "}'' |
- | '''STRONG BAD:''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Typing}'' No way, Clan. I've seen what they do to comic books in these movies and it is ''not'' pretty. ''{Clears the Screen}'' What you ''should'' be asking is, "In what ways will it be the ''same'' as the comic?" They shouldn't even call them "comic book movies." They should call them 'the name of a comic book movies,' 'cuz that's usually what they get right. Watch as I throw canon to the wind and butcher our favorite muscled-up Strong Bad in that ol' fashioned Hollywood way! |
- | + | ''{Cut to a white screen. Strong Badman slides onto the screen.}'' | |
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- | ''{Cut to a white screen. Strong Badman slides onto the screen | + | |
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' First, let's go straight to the costume. | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' First, let's go straight to the costume. | ||
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' A move I'd like to call... | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' A move I'd like to call... | ||
- | ''{The | + | ''{The following text appears on the screen as Strong Bad says it.}'' |
'''STRONG BAD''' ''{voiceover}'' LEATHERQUEST 2000! | '''STRONG BAD''' ''{voiceover}'' LEATHERQUEST 2000! | ||
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Nope, it's one color, head-to-toe leather for our hero! | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Nope, it's one color, head-to-toe leather for our hero! | ||
- | ''{A gob of | + | ''{A gob of blackness flows from Strong Badman's neck down to his shoes.}'' |
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' It just makes practical sense for someone who's going to be jumping off rooftops... | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' It just makes practical sense for someone who's going to be jumping off rooftops... | ||
- | ''{Cut to the | + | ''{Cut to the black Strong Badman jumping off a rooftop with the frame frozen and a speech bubble saying "Stiff!"}'' |
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' ...and doing a bunch of martial arts all the time. | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' ...and doing a bunch of martial arts all the time. | ||
- | ''{Cut to | + | ''{Cut to Strong Badman kicking a mysterious character in a white and green costume. He has a speech bubble that says "Take this?"}'' |
- | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Oh, and then the mask. | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Oh, and then the mask. No actor is gonna let you pull a mask over their beautiful face the entire movie. |
- | ''{ | + | ''{A small part of the mask is revealed.}'' |
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Nope. Not enough. | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Nope. Not enough. | ||
- | ''{A bit more is | + | ''{A bit more is revealed. The man wearing the mask now only has the eyepiece covering his face.}'' |
- | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' A little more... |
- | ''{The eyepiece is removed | + | ''{The eyepiece is removed and the character is wearing a Strong Bad hat.}'' |
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' There! | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' There! | ||
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<blockquote> | <blockquote> | ||
Mondo-PrePro.<br> | Mondo-PrePro.<br> | ||
- | for today: | + | for today:<br> |
+ | Screw up casting! | ||
</blockquote> | </blockquote> | ||
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- | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Screwing up the casting. Instead of casting someone appropriate for the role, like, | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Screwing up the casting. Instead of casting someone appropriate for the role, like, Lan Handermannic... |
''{Cut to the back view of the Lappy.}'' | ''{Cut to the back view of the Lappy.}'' | ||
'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, that's not a real actor or anything, I just like the sound of... | '''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, that's not a real actor or anything, I just like the sound of... | ||
- | + | Lan Handermannic is Strong Badman! | |
- | ''{Cut back to Strong Badman | + | ''{Cut back to Strong Badman.}'' |
- | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' No, they need to cast someone ''inappropriate'' like... | |
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- | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' No | + | |
- | ''{Crack Stuntman's head pops in place of Strong Badman's | + | ''{Crack Stuntman's head pops in place of Strong Badman's.}'' |
'''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' BLAAAH I'm Strong Badm'n! | '''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' BLAAAH I'm Strong Badm'n! | ||
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'''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' Shiny, throw me that doughnut! | '''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' Shiny, throw me that doughnut! | ||
- | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Perfect! You're hired! | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Perfect! You're hired! |
''{Cut to the Lappy.}'' | ''{Cut to the Lappy.}'' | ||
- | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Once the main character is totally ruined, it's time to move onto the supporting cast. Pick one character to be entirely CG-rendered when make-up, puppets, or models would ''clearly'' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Once the main character is totally ruined, it's time to move onto the supporting cast. Pick one character to be entirely CG-rendered when make-up, puppets, or models would be ''clearly'' more convincing. In this case, Let's pick The Cheat! |
- | ''{A monster-like The Cheat slides onto the screen.}'' | + | ''{Cut back to the white screen. A monster-like The Cheat slides onto the screen.}'' |
- | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Why make a really | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Why make a really good costume that we can shoot and light well when we can spend way more money making a... |
''{The Cheat monster turns CGI-animated and its limbs are moving back in forth in a disturbing manner.}'' | ''{The Cheat monster turns CGI-animated and its limbs are moving back in forth in a disturbing manner.}'' | ||
- | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' ... | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' ...boneless, constantly wiggling CG monstrosity! That's what's gonna make me believe in your digital pile when it's floatin' all over the silver-screen! |
- | ''{Cut back to the computer room. Strong Bad | + | ''{Cut back to the computer room. Strong Bad has a handful of note cards.}'' |
- | '''STRONG BAD:''' Then you just write down | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Then you just write down a lot of the best story elements from the comics on these note cards. |
''{He throws the cards into the air.}'' | ''{He throws the cards into the air.}'' | ||
- | '''STRONG BAD:''' | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' Throw them up in the air... |
''{Cut to the scattered cards on the floor.}'' | ''{Cut to the scattered cards on the floor.}'' | ||
- | '''STRONG BAD:''' ...and randomly pick | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ...and randomly pick ten of them to paste willy-nilly into a paper-thin plot with more holes in it than Halle Berry's Catwoman costume! |
''{Cut back to the Lappy.}'' | ''{Cut back to the Lappy.}'' | ||
- | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Now | + | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Now quick, RUSH IT TO DVD before people realize that it sucks! And don't forget the HORRIBLE video game version that tries to undo some of the damage done to the source material. HURRY! Phew. Dodged a bullet there. We almost made a good comic book movie. |
- | ''{Cut to a | + | ''{Cut to a poster with the black Crack Stuntman on a yellow poster with a word bubble saying "This summer, preeeow!"}'' |
'''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' This summer, preeeow! | '''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' This summer, preeeow! | ||
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==Fun Facts== | ==Fun Facts== | ||
- | === | + | ===Inside References=== |
- | * | + | *Strong Badman is called a [[wrestleman]]. |
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===Remarks=== | ===Remarks=== | ||
- | *[[The Paper]] comes down in this email instead of | + | *[[The Paper]] comes down in this email instead of [[New Paper|The New Paper]]. |
- | + | *The line "Now let me check my email 'cause it's gatherin' dust!" may refer to Strong Bad have not checked an email in over two and a half months. | |
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===Real-World References=== | ===Real-World References=== | ||
*The comment about leather outfits likely refers to the [[Wikipedia:X-Men (film series)|X-Men films]]. | *The comment about leather outfits likely refers to the [[Wikipedia:X-Men (film series)|X-Men films]]. | ||
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*The comment about CGI characters probably refers to the [[Wikipedia:Hulk (film)|2003 film adaptation of the Hulk]]. | *The comment about CGI characters probably refers to the [[Wikipedia:Hulk (film)|2003 film adaptation of the Hulk]]. | ||
- | + | *Towards the end, Strong Bad makes reference to the critically-panned [[Wikipedia:Catwoman (film)|Catwoman]] movie starring Halle Berry. | |
- | *Towards the end, Strong Bad makes reference to the critically-panned [[Wikipedia:Catwoman (film)|Catwoman]] movie starring | + | |
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{{Strong Bad Email}} | {{Strong Bad Email}} |