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{{abonussbemailnav|6}}
 
[[Image:ComicBookMovie.png|thumb|"Are you crazy?"]]
[[Image:ComicBookMovie.png|thumb|"Are you crazy?"]]
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'''[[strongbad_email.exe]] Bonus Email #6'''
Strong Bad explains what a Strong Badman movie might be like.
Strong Bad explains what a Strong Badman movie might be like.
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Strong Badman}}, [[Lan Handermannek]], {{film|Crack Stuntman}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Strong Badman}}, {{film|Crack Stuntman}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}
'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]]
'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]]
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</blockquote>
</blockquote>
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''{Rolls the "R" in "Greetings". Pauses at "Kindred soul"}''  
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''{Pauses at "Kindred soul" and says: "Kindred soul? You sound like a religious metal band. You know, the kind that try and offset their religiousness with evil fonts and drippy graphics! A death metal band sings: 'Alive as ooone!' "}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Kindred soul? You sound like a religious metal band. ''{A [[Kindread Soul]] CD appears}'' You know, the kind that try and offset their religiousness with evil fonts and drippy graphics!
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Typing}'' No way, Clan. I've seen what they do to comic books in these movies and it is ''not'' pretty. ''{Clears the Screen}'' What you ''should'' be asking is, "In what ways will it be the ''same'' as the comic?" They shouldn't even call them "comic book movies." They should call them 'the name of a comic book movies,' 'cuz that's usually what they get right. Watch as I throw canon to the wind and butcher our favorite muscled-up Strong Bad in that ol' fashioned Hollywood way!
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''{A death metal band sings "Alive as ooone!" The CD cover disappears and Strong Bad finishes reading the email.}''
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''{Cut to a white screen. Strong Badman slides onto the screen.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Typing}'' No way, Clan. I've seen what they do to comic books in these movies and it is not pretty. ''{Clears the Screen}'' What you ''should'' be asking is, "In what one or two small ways will it be the ''same'' as the comic?" They shouldn't even call them "comic book movies." They should call them 'the name of a comic book movies,' cuz that's usually the only thing they get right. Watch as I throw canon to the wind and butcher our favorite muscled-up Strong Bad in that ol' fashioned Hollywood way!
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''{Cut to a white screen. Strong Badman slides onto the screen. His logo appears at the bottom right.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}''  First, let's go straight to the costume.  
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}''  First, let's go straight to the costume.  
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' A move I'd like to call...
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' A move I'd like to call...
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''{The screen darkens and the following text appears on the screen as Strong Bad says it.}''
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''{The following text appears on the screen as Strong Bad says it.}''
'''STRONG BAD''' ''{voiceover}'' LEATHERQUEST 2000!  
'''STRONG BAD''' ''{voiceover}'' LEATHERQUEST 2000!  
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Nope, it's one color, head-to-toe leather for our hero!
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Nope, it's one color, head-to-toe leather for our hero!
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''{A gob of form-fitting blackness flows from Strong Badman's neck down to his shoes.}''
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''{A gob of blackness flows from Strong Badman's neck down to his shoes.}''
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' It just makes practical sense for someone who's going to be jumping off rooftops...
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' It just makes practical sense for someone who's going to be jumping off rooftops...
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''{Cut to the stiff, black Strong Badman jumping off a rooftop with the frame frozen and a speech bubble saying "Stiff!"}''
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''{Cut to the black Strong Badman jumping off a rooftop with the frame frozen and a speech bubble saying "Stiff!"}''
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}''  ...and doing a bunch of martial arts all the time.
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}''  ...and doing a bunch of martial arts all the time.
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''{Cut to a yellow screen with the still stiff Strong Badman kicking [[Deutschman]]. He has a speech bubble that says "Take this?" and there is a many-pointed red shape behind the impact. }''
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''{Cut to Strong Badman kicking a mysterious character in a white and green costume. He has a speech bubble that says "Take this?"}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Oh, and then the mask. ''{Cut to a close shot of Strong Badman}'' No actor is gonna let you put a mask over their beautiful face ''{Strong Badman's face is highlighted}'' for an entire movie.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Oh, and then the mask. No actor is gonna let you pull a mask over their beautiful face the entire movie.
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''{The lower part of the mask is removed, revealing visible skin.}''
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''{A small part of the mask is revealed.}''
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Nope. Not enough.
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Nope. Not enough.
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''{A bit more is removed. The man wearing the mask now is now bald and only has the eyepiece covering his face.}''
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''{A bit more is revealed. The man wearing the mask now only has the eyepiece covering his face.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Little more...
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' A little more...
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''{The eyepiece is removed, leaving only the green eyes.  The character is wearing a black baseball cap with Strong Bad's face on it.}''
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''{The eyepiece is removed and the character is wearing a Strong Bad hat.}''
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' There!
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' There!
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<blockquote>
<blockquote>
Mondo-PrePro.<br>
Mondo-PrePro.<br>
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for today:
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for today:<br>
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Screw up casting!
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
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''{The words "Screw Up Casting!!" are written in red ink in large letters}''
 
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Screwing up the casting. Instead of casting someone appropriate for the role, like, ''{A page flips to a picture of an actor with a five o'clock shadow, with stitches on his cheek, and something behind his ear. The photo is labeled "Lan Handermannek" at the top.}'' Lan Handermannek...
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Screwing up the casting. Instead of casting someone appropriate for the role, like, Lan Handermannic...
''{Cut to the back view of the Lappy.}''
''{Cut to the back view of the Lappy.}''
'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, that's not a real actor or anything, I just like the sound of...
'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, that's not a real actor or anything, I just like the sound of...
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Land Hannermannek <!-- sic, Strong Bad says it this way --> is Strong Badman!
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Lan Handermannic is Strong Badman!
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''{Cut back to Strong Badman, still in black leather and wearing a Strong Bad cap. The camera slowly zooms in.}''
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''{Cut back to Strong Badman.}''
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''{The following text appears on the top-left side of the screen:}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' No, they need to cast someone ''inappropriate'' like...
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<blockquote>
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STRONG BADMAN<br>
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casting info<br>
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male<br>
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caucasian<br>
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bankable<br>
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jazz flautist<br>
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(optional)<br>
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</blockquote>
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' No, instead, they cast someone totally ''inappropriate'' like...
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''{Crack Stuntman's head pops in place of Strong Badman's, which flies off to the left and crashes into the text. The head and text fall offscreen. Crack Stuntman's sunglasses lenses are a green gradient similar to Strong Bad's eyes.  The Cheat Commandos theme plays in the background}''
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''{Crack Stuntman's head pops in place of Strong Badman's.}''
'''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' BLAAAH I'm Strong Badm'n!
'''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' BLAAAH I'm Strong Badm'n!
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'''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' Shiny, throw me that doughnut!  
'''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' Shiny, throw me that doughnut!  
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Perfect! You're hired! ''{Crack smiles.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Perfect! You're hired!
''{Cut to the Lappy.}''
''{Cut to the Lappy.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Once the main character is totally ruined, it's time to move onto the supporting cast. Pick one character to be entirely CG-rendered when make-up, puppets, or models would ''clearly'' be way more convincing. In this case, Let's pick ''{Cut back to the white screen.}'' The Cheat!
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Once the main character is totally ruined, it's time to move onto the supporting cast. Pick one character to be entirely CG-rendered when make-up, puppets, or models would be ''clearly'' more convincing. In this case, Let's pick The Cheat!
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''{A monster-like The Cheat slides onto the screen.}''
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''{Cut back to the white screen. A monster-like The Cheat slides onto the screen.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Why make a really cool costume that we can shoot and light well...
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Why make a really good costume that we can shoot and light well when we can spend way more money making a...
''{The Cheat monster turns CGI-animated and its limbs are moving back in forth in a disturbing manner.}''
''{The Cheat monster turns CGI-animated and its limbs are moving back in forth in a disturbing manner.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' ...when we can spend way more money getting someone to make a boneless, dead-eyed, constantly wiggling CG monstrosity! That's what's gonna make me believe in your digital pile when it's floppin' around on the silver screen.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' ...boneless, constantly wiggling CG monstrosity! That's what's gonna make me believe in your digital pile when it's floatin' all over the silver-screen!
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''{Cut back to the computer room. Strong Bad is standing away from his stool and has a handful of note cards.}''
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''{Cut back to the computer room. Strong Bad has a handful of note cards.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Then you just write down all the best story elements from the comics on some note cards...
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Then you just write down a lot of the best story elements from the comics on these note cards.
''{He throws the cards into the air.}''
''{He throws the cards into the air.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ...throw them up in the air...
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Throw them up in the air...
''{Cut to the scattered cards on the floor.}''
''{Cut to the scattered cards on the floor.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ...and randomly pick, like, ten of them to paste willy-nilly into a paper-thin plot with more holes in it than Halle Berry's Catwoman costume!
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ...and randomly pick ten of them to paste willy-nilly into a paper-thin plot with more holes in it than Halle Berry's Catwoman costume!
''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''
''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Now, quick, RUSH IT TO DVD before people realize it totally sucks! And don't forget the HORRIBLE video game version that tries to undo some of the damage you've done to the source material. HURRY! Phew. Dodged a bullet there. We almost made a good comic book movie.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Now quick, RUSH IT TO DVD before people realize that it sucks! And don't forget the HORRIBLE video game version that tries to undo some of the damage done to the source material. HURRY! Phew. Dodged a bullet there. We almost made a good comic book movie.
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''{Cut to a yellow Strong Badman movie poster on the basement's wall. On the poster is the black-suited Crack Stuntman with a word bubble saying "This summer, preeeow!"}''
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''{Cut to a poster with the black Crack Stuntman on a yellow poster with a word bubble saying "This summer, preeeow!"}''
'''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' This summer, preeeow!
'''CRACK STUNTMAN:''' This summer, preeeow!
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==Fun Facts==
==Fun Facts==
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===Trivia===
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===Inside References===
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*The [[Floppy Disk Container]] reads "swashbuckler".
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*Strong Badman is called a [[wrestleman]].
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*At least four comic-based movies were released during the year this email was released.
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*The note cards Strong Bad drops on the ground read:
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**origin story
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**"golden" origin story
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**"uncanny" origin story
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**a bad guy!!!
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**re-origin story
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**upside down origin story ''{text appears upside down}''
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**sidekick dies!!
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===Remarks===
===Remarks===
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*[[The Paper]] comes down in this email instead of the [[New Paper]]. This implies that this email may have been created before The Paper was replaced.
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*[[The Paper]] comes down in this email instead of [[New Paper|The New Paper]].
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**However, the text on The Paper is displayed slightly differently. The "E" in "End" is all lowercase, and the two arrow brackets at both ends of the text (">> <<"), which are usually there, are missing.
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*The line "Now let me check my email 'cause it's gatherin' dust!" may refer to Strong Bad have not checked an email in over two and a half months.
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===Inside References===
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*Strong Badman is called a [[wrestleman]].
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*Crack Stuntman having to say "Stiny! Get me a danish!" is a reference to [[superhero name]], the email from which Strong Badman originated.
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*This is another reference to [["Man" pronounced as "m'n"]].
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*Strong Bad calls the CGI Cheat monster a [[pile]] at one point.
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===Real-World References===
===Real-World References===
*The comment about leather outfits likely refers to the [[Wikipedia:X-Men (film series)|X-Men films]].
*The comment about leather outfits likely refers to the [[Wikipedia:X-Men (film series)|X-Men films]].
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**"Uncanny" origin story (written on one of the cards) refers to [[Marvel]]'s "Uncanny X-Men".
 
*The comment about CGI characters probably refers to the [[Wikipedia:Hulk (film)|2003 film adaptation of the Hulk]].
*The comment about CGI characters probably refers to the [[Wikipedia:Hulk (film)|2003 film adaptation of the Hulk]].
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*Strong Bad commenting about actors not letting their faces be hidden probably refers to the film adaptation of ''[[Wikipedia:Judge Dredd (film)|Judge Dredd]]'', in which [[Wikipedia:Sylvester Stallone|Sylvester Stallone]]'s face is exposed for the majority of the film despite Judge Dredd almost never taking off his helmet (and even then, his face is never shown) in the entire run of the comic book.
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*Towards the end, Strong Bad makes reference to the critically-panned [[Wikipedia:Catwoman (film)|Catwoman]] movie starring Halle Berry.
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*Towards the end, Strong Bad makes reference to the critically-panned [[Wikipedia:Catwoman (film)|Catwoman]] movie starring [[Wikipedia:Halle Berry|Halle Berry]].
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*"'Golden' origin story" (written on one of the cards) may refer to the [[Wikipedia:Golden Age of Comic Books|Golden Age]] of the comic book industry in the 1930s and 1940s. Many superhero origin stories were actually rewritten during the subsequent [[Wikipedia:Silver Age of Comic Books|Silver Age]], producing the versions more familiar to audiences today.
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*Strong Bad's remark about using a bad actor likely refers to the critically panned [[Wikipedia:Batman and Robin (film)|Batman and Robin]], in which [[Wikipedia:George Clooney|George Clooney]] starred as Batman. The film was criticized for its campy theme, and is considered to be one of the worst Batman films of all time. Contributing to its failure was its coming after successful and popular films [[Wikipedia:Batman (1989 film)|Batman]], [[Wikipedia:Batman Returns|Batman Returns]], and [[Wikipedia:Batman Forever|Batman Forever]].
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*An example of a video game adaptation of a superhero film noted for poor quality is [[Wikipedia:Batman Forever (video game)|Batman Forever]] for [[Nintendo]]'s [[Wikipedia:Super Nintendo Entertainment System|Super Nintendo Entertainment System]]. The game is best known for its awkward controls, using button combinations instead of a straightforward control scheme. (The game had been developed using a Mortal Kombat engine, a game which also utilized button combinations [in its case, for attack combos] and, like Batman Forever, used photorealistic graphics.)
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===Fast Forward===
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*Lan Handermannek would appear again in [[independent]], as would the "Mondo PrePro".
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{{Strong Bad Email}}
{{Strong Bad Email}}

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