Cheat Commandos (toon)

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Rock Rock On some more!

Cheat Commandos

A new toy series from Cheap as Free: Cheat Commandos! Rock, rock on!

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Silent Rip, Blue Laser Commander, Gunhaver, Crackotage, Firebert, Ripberger. Fightgar, Flashfight

Page Title: Compy 386!!

Contents

Transcript

{Strong Bad is holding out a toy helicopter and making "thub thub thub" noises, then pulls out the Firebert Cheat Commando Action Figure. On the bottom it says "copyright 1986 Cheap As Free Toys"}

STRONG BAD: Time to para...troop behind enemy lines!

{Strong Bad drops the action figure to the ground, where Homestar Runner has his own Cheat Commando action figure hiding in some tall grass.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Surprise, surprise, Firebert!

STRONG BAD: Silent Rip! You snuck up on me!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's what I do best!

STRONG BAD: Time to take out the enemy radar dish!

{Cut to a bunch of evil The Cheats wearing blue suits and shades in front of the stick, which has a pie tin on top of it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: We're outnumbered! We need reinforcements!

{Cut back to Firebert and Silent Rip in the tall grass. Coach Z arrives with his own Cheat Commando. It wears military fatigues and a rocket backpack.}

COACH Z: Did somebody say my name?

STRONG BAD and HOMESTAR RUNNER: Reinforcements!

COACH Z: Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket fire!

{Coach Z presses a button on the back of Reinforcements' rocket backback and a plastic rocket flies up and hits the tin, knocking it over and smashing the blue The Cheats.}

STRONG BAD: Mission accomplished! Time for some R&R!

{Cut to the three action figures hanging out with a Barbie-like doll and some Xtra Cold Ones.}

STRONG BAD: Cheat Commandos!

STRONG BAD, HOMESTAR RUNNER, and COACH Z: Rock, rock on!

{The Cheat Commandos logo comes up}

ANNOUNCER: Cheat Commandos, only from Cheap as Free Toys! Collect them all! {As he lists each character, their toy box shows up on screen} Fightgar! Crackotage! Silent Rip! Firebert! Gunhaver! Flashfight! Ripberger! Foxface! Reinforcements! And Reynold! {cut to a bunch of vehicles and playsets in the yard} And don't forget new Cheat Commandos vehicles and playsets! There's the "Troop Carrier," {cut to Troop Carrier} the "Troop Transport," {cut to Troop Transport} and the "Action Figure Storage Truck!" {cut to Action Figure Storage Truck} Then take the action even further with Reynold's Apartment Extreme Playset!

{Strong Bad brings Reynold out to his playset and plays as him.}

STRONG BAD: Augh, I really need to go grocery shopping! I wish my girlfriend didn't leave me!

{Strong Bad tosses Reynold into the playset.}

ANNOUNCER: All new Cheat Commandos from Cheap as Free Toys! Cheat Commandos, rock, rock on! And now, tune in weekdays, for Cheat Commando Adventures, on the inside of your TV!

{Cut to a cartoon with cheesy animation with all of the Cheat Commandos. A G.I. Joe-like song plays in the background. Silent Rip is on.}

SILENT RIP: Those loonies are gonna blow up the ocean!

{Cut to the Blue Laser headquarters. A computer screen in the background reads "OPERATION OCEAN BLOW" and "T-MINUS: GO!!!}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: WE'LL BLOW UP THE OCEAN!

{Cut to Gunhaver with lasers blasting above his head}

GUNHAVER: Quick, everyone! To the Action Figure Storage Vehicle!

{Cut to a canyon, where a whole mess of trucks and Blue Laser vehicles are firing red and blue lasers, respectively, at each other. Cut to Crackotage, Silent Rip, Firebert, Ripberger, Gunhaver and Fightgar running along and then a shot of Fightgar firing his machine gun in all directions}

SPOKESMAN: Cheat Commandos is an elite fighting force, sworn to protect the world from the evil forces of Blue Laser!

{Cut to Blue Laser HQ. Blue Laser is with a Blue Laser commando. The computer screen now reads, "OPERATION DON'T CRUSH OURSELVES" as well as "T-MINUS: TOTAL".}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: CRUSH THE CHEAT COMMANDOS!

{Cut to Firebert with a TNT detonater. He pushes down the plunger and we hear a boom. It starts a rockslide which covers two Blue Laser Commandos. Cut to Blue Laser HQ. The computer screen reads "OPERATION DON'T CRUSH OURSELVES" and now "FAILED!!"}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: I JUST HATE YOU SO MUCH!

{Cut to Gunhaver.}

GUNHAVER: Cheat Commandos... {zooms out to show him on a pedestal reading, "ROCK, ROCK ON" and some of the commandos surrounding him} rock rock on!

{A jingle is played in the background - "Cheat Commandos, maybe fighting for freedom, and each is sold separately. Cheat Commandos, probably battling evil, buy all our playsets and toys!"}

SPOKESMAN: {In a nasal voice} Weekdays at 4:30.

Easter Eggs

  • Click on "Rock, Rock On" on the final screen to see all the toys again. Click on each toy to see it alone.

Fun Facts

  • This is the second time that Firebert has appeared.
  • The "Cheat Commandos Adventures" cartoon is a lampoon of the 1980's GI Joe Cartoons, which were very poorly disguised attempts to hide the fact they were just 30 minute commercials.
  • This cartoon is loaded with exceptions to the once-solid rule of only mentioning "Cheat" with "The" in front of it.
  • When the commandos are at "R&R", they are next to "Xtra cold ones", a new variation on a Cold One.
  • All Cheat Commando toys are $11.01 and are for children ages 3-5.
  • The Cheat Commando action figure packages are the same design as in the emails "action figure" and "army".
  • When the action figures come up, the Blue Laser figure is not listed.
  • When it names off the vehicles, the helicopter isn't mentioned.
  • Silent 'But Deadly' Rip's voice in the TV show is the same as the guy in the truck show the Cheat is watching in the Strong Bad email privileges.
  • The helicopter sound in the beginning (kind of a dop dop dop dop dop dop thing) is just like the The Cheat Skycam Traffic helicopter sounds from the Strong Bad email local news.
  • The words 'Cool Glasses' on Gunhaver's package is a refrence to the 'Theme to Dangeresque 2: This Time it's not Dangeresque 1' on the Strong Bad Sings CD
  • Here is what the screen in the "Cheat Commandos Adventures" cartoon read:
Operation:
Ocean blow
T-minus: GO!!

The 2nd screen read:

Operation:
Don't crush
ourselves
T-minus:
Total

And after Firebert crushes some lackeys, the screen reads:

Operation:
Don't crush
ourselves
FAILED!!
  • On the toy packages the word commmandos is coloured with the Strongbadia colours.
  • Ripberger is also the name of the character voiced by Mark Hamill in the Lucas Arts game "Full Throttle" (although his name is spelled 'Ripburger').
  • The names of all the action figures (and whatever captions are on their boxes):
    • Gunhaver
      • Stylin' Coat
      • Cool Glasses!
      • Has a Gun!
      • Probably from Texas!
    • Firebert
      • Yellow Dog!!
      • Black Hat!
      • Not A Good Commando Name!!
      • That One Little Guy!!
    • Silent Rip
      • But Deadly!!
      • Two(2) Pockets!
      • Communicates Via That Microphone Attached to His Helmet!
      • Same Size As The Rest!!
    • Crackotage
      • Action!!
      • Museum Quality!
      • Master Locksmith, Perhaps!
      • Listens To Jazz!!
    • Fightgar
      • Not the Most Popular!!
      • Red Cloth!
      • Probably Has A Raspy Voice!!
      • Needs To Shave!!
    • Reynold
      • Civilian Contractor!!
      • Fake Tie!
      • Favorite Drink: Milk!!
      • Not A Blackbelt!!
    • Reinforcements
      • The One That Coach Z Bought!!
      • Sweet Camos!
      • Justice Rocket Backpack!!
      • Hard to See!!
    • Foxface
      • Lady Type!
      • Natural haircolor!
      • Totally Has It Together!
      • Not One of The Guys!!
    • Ripberger
      • Stealthy!!
      • Black "Gloves!"
      • He's Not Wearing Pajamas!
      • This One Wears Red!
    • Flashfight
      • In Charge of Stuff!!
      • Three Medals!
      • Almost Sounds Like "Flashlight"
      • Five Buttons!
  • When the Cheat Commandos are marching in the T.V. show, some of them walk by twice.
  • The lyrics to the Cheat Commandos theme song go like this: "Cheat Commandos, maybe fighting for freedom, And each is sold separately! Commandos, they're probably battling evil, Buy all our playsets and toys!"
  • When the pie tin falls on top of the Blue Laser action figures, one is left standing.
  • On Crackotage's package, it says "Museum Quality". This is a reference to the packaged version of SB's peanut action figure from the Strong Bad Email action figure.
  • Gunhaver calls the "Action Figure Storage Truck" by the wrong name. He says vehicle instead of truck.
  • At the end, Flashfight doesn't have his arm lifted in salute.
  • The caption "Yellow Dog!!" on Firebert's action figure package is a reference to what Homestar says in army.
  • Foxface, the only female commando, is obviously modeled after the GI Joe character, Scarlett, whose mantra is "I'm not just one of the 'guys;' I'm better.", according to the GI Joe website. According to Foxface's packaging, she is "Not One of The Guys!!"
  • This "commercial" obeys the rules of all action figure commercials: the hands manipulating the toys must be visible when the toys appear to move. Strong Bad and Coach Z's hands are visible, and since Homestar has no apparent arms, his knees are prominently displayed.

External Links