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| - | [[Image:Shotgunned menu.png|thumb|250px|"What kinda shady Bubs business you running here anyways?"]]
| + | NIGGA STOLE MY COW! 807983762467890 |
| - | <blockquote>'''''Strong Bad:''' You're a shady, shady character Bubs.''<br>
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| - | '''''Bubs:''' It's cool in the shade!''</blockquote>
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| - | [[Bubs]] has been known to engage in all forms of '''shady, crooked, and sometimes downright illegal business practices''', from simple overpricing to trading in stolen organs.
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| - | ==Bait and Switch==
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| - | *Email [[different town]] — [[Strong Bad]] imagines that Bubs would use ''imitation'' [[chocolate]] for his [[Bubs's Flamethrowers|flamethrowers]] that shoot chocolate hundred-dollar bills.
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| - | *Email [[theme park]] — Bubs tells [[Pom Pom]] that he can only win prizes if he gets the rings '''inside''' the [[Xtra Cold Ones]] bottle after Pom Pom flawlessly threw three rings over it.
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| - | *Email [[looking old]] — A sign at the stand says "<s>1</s>0% OFF ALL iTems!"
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| - | *[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 15.2]] — Bubs offers 10% off at [[Bubs' Concession Stand|the concession stand]] and immediately follows it with the disclaimer "discount will not be honored".
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| - | *[[Most in the Graveyard]] — Bubs admires his great-great-grandpappy's cousin Harold who "discovered the bait and switch".
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| - | *[[Donut Unto Others]] — Bubs claims his [[doughnuts]] fight cavities and clean teeth before quickly adding "The American Dental Association does not approve the preceding statement."
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| - | ==Copyright Infringement==
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| - | *[[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs hints that his [[black market]] sells pirated DVDs.
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| - | ==Counterfeiting==
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| - | *[[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs implies that his black market sells fake IDs.
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| - | ==Debt Evasion==
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| - | *Email [[lackey]] — Bubs slams the shutters when Strong Bad with [[Doreauxgard]] pretends to be from the collection agency.
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| - | ==Defective and Substandard Goods==
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| - | *Email [[12:00]] — Bubs, hired to make the clock on Strong Bad's [[VCR]] work, instead [[duct tape]]s an [[Clock Radio|alarm clock]] to the top (after first attempting to duct tape [[The Cheat]] to it).
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| - | *[[King of Town Email]] — According to the page title, Bubs sold the broken [[Tandy 400]] to [[The King of Town]] for $900 and that it's "slightly not-working".
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| - | *Email [[virus]] — Bubs puts the "slightly shotgunned" and "like used" [[Compy 386]] up for sale.
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| - | *[[Homestar Presents: Presents]] — Bubs has a rusty steak knife in his box of 'aught four [[crap]].
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| - | *[[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs sells Strong Bad a defective Strong Bad miniature.
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| - | ==Embezzlement==
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| - | *[[Strong Sad's Lament]] — Bubs's new year resolution is to stop embezzling money from himself.
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| - | *[[Ever and More!]] — [[Homestar]] asks Bubs to talk about "shiny new ways to misappropriate funds". Bubs then proceeds to describe buying a [[WetSki|Jet Ski]] with the [[Broternal Order of Different Helmets]]'s money, crashed and broke his shin, and began spending $50 a tube on [[BUBRUB!|rubbing ointment]].
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| - | *[[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs says that [[Blatant lies|he is definitely not embezzling thousands of dollars]] from [[Club Technochocolate]].
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| - | *[[Baddest of the Bands]] — Bubs casually mutters that he's skimming 10% of the profits of the battle of the bands behind Strong Bad's back.
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| - | ==Evidence Tampering==
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| - | *[[Bug In Mouth Disease]] — When Homestar approaches, Bubs is burning an envelope labeled "Exhibit A" and later tries to sell him a pancreas contained in a box labeled "Exhibit B".
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| - | *[[DNA Evidence]] — Bubs sells [[Marzipan]]'s DNA evidence to Strong Bad in a [[snow cone]], and returns to her a test tube labeled "tampered with".
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| - | *Email [[buried]] — Bubs buries "in'''toxic'''atingly good" waste in [[Strong Badia]] and has apparently buried "a fella named Rich" in the past.
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| - | ==False Advertising==
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| - | *[[Broken Compy Menu]] — Bubs sells the shotgunned [[Compy 386]] to Homestar saying it's a low-priced automobile.
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| - | *Email [[technology]] — Bubs sells "wireless extension cords" and stresses that they're "[[Allegedly Real Things|existent]]".
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| - | *[[Happy Hallow-day]] — Bubs advertises black spray-paint as spray-on Halloween night, sunglasses as Halloween night-vision goggles and "Hollerin' Jimmy's Hovercraft Kit" as a "Halloween Night hovercraft kit".
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| - | *Email [[the chair]] — Bubs tries to sell a box of chicken beaks and a Winger album as chairs.
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| - | *[[Ever and More!]] — Bubs sells the minutes of The [[Broternal Order of Different Helmets]]'s last meeting to [[Homsar|third world countries]] as rollover minutes.
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| - | *[[Quality Time]] — Bubs sells Marzipan [[eggs]] as "[[organic]] [[batteries]]".
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| - | *[[Donut Unto Others]] — Bubs lies about the teeth-cleaning and cavity-fighting abilities of his donuts. He also says that he has them made in a third world country named "Homemáde" so he can legally print "from homemade" on the package.
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| - | ==Fraud==
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| - | *[[Donut Unto Others]] — Bubs has apparently sold Homestar "[[Questionable Services|questionable medical coverage]]".
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| - | ==Hacking==
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| - | *[[8-Bit is Enough]] — Bubs bypasses the region locking on Strong Bad's [[TROGDOR!]] arcade machine.
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| - | ==Harmful Goods==
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| - | *[[The Best Decemberween Ever]] — Bubs has a [[Strong Sad]] voodoo doll on sale, which even Homestar questions.
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| - | *[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 7.0]] — Bubs has a tainted candy sellback day on Friday.
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| - | *Email [[myths & legends]] — Bubs states that the Bear-holding-a-shark shot glasses are popular with kids.
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| - | *Email [[the chair]] — The chairs that Bubs sells Strong Bad and Strong Sad end up leaving them unable to "feel [their] parts".
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| - | *[[DNA Evidence]] — Bubs sells the [[DNA Evidence (running gag)|DNA evidence]] to Strong Bad in a snow cone.
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| - | *Email [[licensed]] — Homestar discovers that the piñatas that Bubs sells are full of broken glass after getting a face-full of it, and the Strong Bad ferret [[ointment]] causes [[The Cheat]] to inflate like a balloon.
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| - | *[[The Baloneyman]] — Bubs implies that the [[Baloney Sammich Truck|baloney sandwiches]] that he has been selling had expired mayonnaise.
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| - | *[[Homestar Ruiner]] — Bubs lists tainted candy as a variety of candy he sells and gives chocolate-covered packing peanuts in exchange for coupons.
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| - | ==Health Code Violations==
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| - | *Email [[no loafing]] — The lunch specials that Bubs sells are already eaten.
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| - | *[[One Two, One Two]] — Bubs makes sausages with a tennis ball and a box of [[General Tso's Chicken]] (including the box).
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| - | *[[The Baloneyman]] — Bubs sells a sandwich with a bite taken out of it to an oblivious Homestar.
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| - | *[[Donut Unto Others]] — Bubs hides and pretends to be closed when the health inspector arrives.
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| - | ==Human Trafficking==
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| - | *[[Baddest of the Bands]] — Bubs says that he accepts first-born children as payment.
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| - | ==Information Mining and Spamming==
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| - | *Email [[unused emails]] — Bubs buys 5000 email addresses at $0.25 apiece from Strong Bad ($1250 total) to use in his weekly [[spam]]vertisments.
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| - | ==Invasion of Privacy==
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| - | *[[Homestar Ruiner]] — Bubs casually tells Strong Bad that he reads all [[Strong Bad Email|his emails]].
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| - | ==Ivory Trade==
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| - | *[[Homestar Ruiner]] — Strong Bad says that the last time he tried to navigate Bubs' Tele-stand, he ended up with a crate of rhino horns and not even the endangered kind.
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| - | ==Loan Sharking==
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| - | *Email [[other days]] — Bubs threatens to turn Strong Bad over to a "cut off your toes"-style collections agency if he doesn't pay up.
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| - | ==Mistreatment of Employees==
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| - | *Email [[part-time job]] — Strong Bad mentions that Bubs made him pay for his [[mascot costume]].
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| - | *[[On Break]] — Bubs only gives one smoking, pee, coffee, and maternity leave break each per day. He also doesn't allow Pom Pom to take breaks as he is not in the union.
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| - | ==Operating Without a Valid License==
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| - | *[[Bug In Mouth Disease]] — Bubs claims to be a doctor despite his "doctor" card clearly being only for VCR repairs and fashion consultation.
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| - | *[[Senorial Day]] — Bubs's entrepreneur license has "SUSPENDED" stamped across it.
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| - | *Email [[licensed]] — Bubs sells ''unlicensed'' unlicensed Strong Bad merchandise.
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| - | *[[The Baloneyman]] — Bubs mentions that he has an expired tag and expired license.
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| - | *[[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs hints that his black market sells unlicensed merchandise.
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| - | ==Organ Trafficking==
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| - | *[[Bug In Mouth Disease]] — Bubs offers to sell [[Homestar]] a spare pancreas.
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| - | *[[DNA Evidence]] — Bubs tells Marzipan that analyzing the DNA evidence will cost her an arm and a leg.
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| - | *[[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs operates a black market out behind [[Concessionstantinople]] dealing in organs along with other illegal items.
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| - | ==Overpricing==
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| - | *[[King of Town Email]] — According to the page title, Bubs sold the broken [[Tandy 400]] to [[The King of Town]] for $900.
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| - | *Email [[local news]] — A sign at the stand says "Wait in Line: $5".
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| - | *Email [[pom pom]] — Bubs charges Strong Bad $5 for a "face mashing" and $10 for a "severe pummeling" from Pom Pom.
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| - | *Email [[part-time job]] — Bubs attempts to charge Coach Z and Pom Pom $50 then $60 for a picture with the [[Tragic Clown Dog]].
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| - | *Email [[secret identity]] — Bubs charges Strong Bad (as [[Secret Identities#Tip Tappers|Mr. Tip Tappers]]) $900 for a room. Also, Bubs's guestbook notes that he accepted double payment from [[Secret Identities#Other Characters|Mr. Dee Williams]] (Homestar).
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| - | *Email [[myths & legends]] — Bubs demands an extra $20 from [[Strong Bad]] after he comments that the [[Bear Holding a Shark]] [[ice cream]] he bought looks more like Morgan Freeman.
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| - | *Email [[nightlife]] — Bubs sells Strong Bad an eyedropper-full amount of "Pink Elephant Pants" for $17.50, which is apparently less than he usually charges.
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| - | *[[The Baloneyman]] — Bubs attempt to sell [[Coach Z]] a [[Bubs's Napkins|napkin]] for $32.
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| - | *[[Baddest of the Bands]] — Bubs charges Strong Bad "one big sack of cash" for repairs to the [[FunMachine]] and after the repair job, Strong Bad complains that "Bubs totally ripped [him] off, man! Like, more than usual."
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| - | *[[Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 16.2]] — Bubs claims that the late fee for a [[IMDb:tt0103184|V.I. Warshawski]] DVD is $3 because it still counts as a new release.
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| - | ==Poor Crowd Control==
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| - | * Email [[local news]] — Bubs tricks Homestar, Marzipan and the King of Town into queuing outside the Concession Stand (and paying for it) for no reason.
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| - | * [[Toikey TV]] — Bubs encourages mothers to fight each other and even draw blood.
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| - | * [[A Decemberween Mackerel]] — Bubs intentionally has a queue last for 3 miles or 18 days, whichever comes first.
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| - | ==Smuggling==
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| - | *[[SBCG4AP Tutorial]] — When Strong Bad comments that Bubs has gotten fat, he replies that he hasn't and is in fact just smuggling cantaloupes past the border under his shirt.
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| - | ==Stolen Goods==
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| - | *[[Cool Things]] — Bubs claims that he's closed and only gives Homestar the [[paint]] and [[Cool Shades|shades]] when he asks Bubs to steal them for him, asserting that he never passes up a chance to stick it to the man.
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| - | *[[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs's black market trades in organs of questionable origin and illegally obtained cultural artifacts. He trades Strong Sad's stolen Pretendix for an illegally excavated piece of pottery to Strong Bad.
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| - | *[[Where My Hat Is At? (toon)|Where My Hat Is At?]] — Bubs has Marzipan's hair on sale as a "[[wig]]" which he unabashedly says is stolen.
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| - | ==Weapons Dealing==
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| - | *Email [[different town]] — Strong Bad imagines that Bubs would give away [[Bubs's Flamethrowers|flamethrowers]] that shoot (imitation) chocolate hundred-dollar bills.
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| - | *[[Strong Badia the Free]] — Bubs operates a black market out behind [[Concessionstantinople]] dealing in weapons, like bazooka flamethrowers that throw throwing stars, along with other illegal items.
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| - | ==Generic Mentions of Shadiness==
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| - | *[[Bug In Mouth Disease]] — Homestar asks if Bubs is an unethical quack, to which he responds "the most quackinest."
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| - | *[[Broken Compy Menu]] — Homestar asks, "What kinda shady Bubs business you running here anyways?"
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| - | *[[Happy Fireworks]] — Bubs complains about how long the setup for the fireworks is taking, saying "I got peoples to rip off!"
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| - | *Email [[isp]] — When Strong Bad confronts him with "throttling [Strong Bad] down", Bubs responds that throttling down is not one of the 99 ways he rips Strong Bad off.
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| - | *Email [[licensed]] — Bubs says that the stuff that he sells in the Concession Stand is of worse quality than his shady bootleg operation.
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| - | *[[Play Date]] — Bubs briefly spends time in federal prison for unexplained reasons.
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| - | *[[The Baloneyman]] — At the end, Homestar says farewell to the "[["Man" Pronounced as "M'n"|baloneym'n]]", adding "may your warbly theme song serve as a reminder that you probably have a really sketchy past."
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| - | *[[Strong Badia the Free]] — Strong Bad says that Bubs is a "shady, shady character", to which Bubs responds that it's cool in the shade.
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| - | *[[Doomy Tales of the Macabre]] — Bubs describes his wallet as the one that says "bad business practices".
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| - | ==See Also==
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| - | *[[Crimes Committed by Strong Bad]]
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| - | *[[Crime and Punishment]]
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| - | *[[Coach Z's Problems]]
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| - | {{incomplete list}}
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| - | [[Category:Lists]]
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| - | [[Category:Bubs]]
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