Editing Bogus Mathematical Theorems

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[[Strong Bad]] periodically invents '''bogus mathematical theorems''' to illustrate his responses to fans on his [[Strong Bad Email]] show. Another was introduced to players of the third episode of [[Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People]]. Two more were also added in the game [[Poker Night at the Inventory]].
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[[Strong Bad]] periodically invents '''bogus mathematical theorems''' to illustrate his responses to fans on his [[Strong Bad Email]] show.
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__TOC__
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==The Transitive Butt Property==
==The Transitive Butt Property==
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Symbolically, this can be written as
Symbolically, this can be written as
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<center><math>\!\,\mbox{ stupid(butt)}\geq\mbox{ stupid(head)}</math></center>
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<center><math>\mbox{ stupid(butt)}\geq\mbox{ stupid(head)}</math></center>
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{{clear}}
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==The Property of Ones==
==The Property of Ones==
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[[Image:sbemail39.PNG|thumb|"The colder it is, the more of a one it is."]]
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[[Image:sbemail39.PNG|thumb]]
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When a fan asks Strong Bad if he's ever had a [[Cold One|one that was not cold]], he responds by stating the [[Property of Ones]]: "The ONE<sup>itude</sup> is directly proportional to the Cold<sup>itude</sup> of the ONE." Here follows a brief analysis of this statement.
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When a fan asks Strong Bad if he's ever had a [[Cold Ones|one that was not cold]], he responds by stating the [[Property of Ones]]: "The ONE<sup>itude</sup> is directly proportional to the Cold<sup>itude</sup> of the ONE." Here follows a brief analysis of this statement.
We consider a One with the following properties:
We consider a One with the following properties:
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* <math>\!\,{\mathcal O}^{\mathrm{itude}}</math> is a measure of the Oneness of the One.
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* <math>\!{\mathcal O}^{\mathrm{itude}}</math> is a measure of the Oneness of the One.
   
   
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* <math>\!\,T</math> is the temperature of the One.
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* <math>\!T</math> is the temperature of the One.
   
   
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* <math>\!\,c^{\mathrm{itude}}</math> is the coldness of the One.
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* <math>\!c^{\mathrm{itude}}</math> is the coldness of the One.
The Oneness of the One can be determined by the following simple formula:
The Oneness of the One can be determined by the following simple formula:
<center><math>{\mathcal O}^{\mathrm{itude}}\propto c^{\mathrm{itude}}</math> .</center>
<center><math>{\mathcal O}^{\mathrm{itude}}\propto c^{\mathrm{itude}}</math> .</center>
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Naturally, a One has less coldness as its temperature increases, and it approaches having no coldness at all as its temperature approaches infinity. Likewise, a One approaches having infinite coldness as its temperature approaches [[Wikipedia:absolute zero|absolute zero]]:  
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Naturally, a One has less coldness as its temperature increases, and it approaches having no coldness at all as its temperature approaches infinity; likewise, a One approaches having infinite coldness as its temperature approaches [[Wikipedia:absolute zero|absolute zero]]:  
<center><math>\lim\limits_{T\to\infty}c^{\mathrm{itude}}=0,\quad\lim\limits_{T\to0^+}c^{\mathrm{itude}}=\infty</math> .</center>
<center><math>\lim\limits_{T\to\infty}c^{\mathrm{itude}}=0,\quad\lim\limits_{T\to0^+}c^{\mathrm{itude}}=\infty</math> .</center>
Thus, a One's coldness is inversely related to its temperature:
Thus, a One's coldness is inversely related to its temperature:
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As a result, we can rewrite our expression for Oneness in terms of temperature:
As a result, we can rewrite our expression for Oneness in terms of temperature:
<center><math>{\mathcal O}^{\mathrm{itude}}=\frac{k}T</math> ,</center>
<center><math>{\mathcal O}^{\mathrm{itude}}=\frac{k}T</math> ,</center>
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so that <math>\!\,k</math> is a proportionality constant (in units of Oneness times [[Wikipedia:Kelvin|kelvins]]) that uniquely determines the Oneitude of a One given its temperature. If a One is not so cold, the temperature will be higher, thus minimizing its Oneness. In Strong Bad's own words, this can be simply stated:
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so that <math>k</math> is a proportionality constant (in units of Oneness times [[Wikipedia:Kelvin|kelvins]]) that uniquely determines the Oneitude of a One given its temperature. In Strong Bad's own words, this can be simply stated:
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<center><math>\!\,\mbox{ A One that isn}'\mbox{t cold is scarcely a One at all.}</math></center>
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<center><math>\mbox{ A One that isn}'\mbox{t cold is scarcely a One at all.}</math></center>
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The inverse is also true:
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Or in other words:
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<center><math>\!\,\mbox{ The colder it is, the more of a One it is.}</math></center>
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<center><math>\mbox{ The colder it is, the more of a one it is.}</math></center>
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How large the proportional relation and what units are used for coldness and Oneness are undefined.
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==Coolguy's Law==
==Coolguy's Law==
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[[Image:Coolguy's Law.png|thumb|"You got nothing to lose!"]]
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[[Image:Coolguy's Law.png|thumb|]]
In order to assist an email sender who was having difficulty determining which [[slumber party|slumber parties]] are worth attending, Strong Bad stated an important relation between the popularity of a potential party host and the amount of fun available to be had:
In order to assist an email sender who was having difficulty determining which [[slumber party|slumber parties]] are worth attending, Strong Bad stated an important relation between the popularity of a potential party host and the amount of fun available to be had:
<center><math>\begin{array}{c}\mbox{ The popularity of the host is inversely proportional}\\\mbox{to the amount of fun you can have at their house.}\end{array}</math></center>
<center><math>\begin{array}{c}\mbox{ The popularity of the host is inversely proportional}\\\mbox{to the amount of fun you can have at their house.}\end{array}</math></center>
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<center><math>\begin{array}{c}\mbox{House}\\\mbox{Fun}\end{array}=\frac{1}{\mbox{Popularity of Host }x}</math></center>
<center><math>\begin{array}{c}\mbox{House}\\\mbox{Fun}\end{array}=\frac{1}{\mbox{Popularity of Host }x}</math></center>
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This means that the less popular the host is (in a numeric form), the more fun (again in numeric form) you can have at their house. How the numbers are determined is unclear.
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[[Category:Strong Bad Email running gags]] [[Category:Research]]
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== The Cooldratic Formula==
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Introduced in [[Baddest of the Bands]], the entirety of the Cooldratic Formula is this:
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<center><math>\!\,\mbox{ Butter + Dry Ice}</math></center>
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Not surprisingly, Strong Bad introduced this formula shortly after pouring [[butter]] into a fog machine full of dry ice. He also briefly acknowledges the status of his formulas as bogus by stating "I'm no mathematician".
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[[Category:Strong Bad Email running gags]][[Category:Research]]
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==Poker Night at the Inventory==
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Two minor theorems were included in Poker Night at the Inventory, but without any equations or mathematical proofs to them.
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===The Reflexive Property===
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Introduced in [[Poker Night at the Inventory]] Strong Bad may say sometimes to Max and the Player when calling a bet: "I don't like either of you, but maybe calling you will cancel that out. You know, the Reflexive Property."
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===The Inverse Property of [[Noun-Verb|Luck-Have]]===
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Also from [[Poker Night at the Inventory|Poker Night]], upon the Player winning, Strong Bad may say: "Yeah, you're lucky now, but you know you're gonna get run over by a truck when you leave here. It's the Inverse Property of Luck-Have."
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{{clear}}
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{{StrongBadEmailInfo}}
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