Editing Baddest of the Bands Responses (House of Strong)

[[Image:SB House.png|thumb|No pasta salad to be found.]]
[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from [[House of the Brothers Strong|House of Strong]] in [[Baddest of the Bands]].

{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}

==Game Introduction==
:''{Strong Bad enters the room from the direction of the basement sits at the Fun Machine}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Senor Fun Machine, let's see what you've got for me today...
:''{Scene changes to the menu screen for [[Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey]].}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hot dang, it's Limozeen's Hot Babelien Odyssey, loosely based on the life and times of the coolest rock band in the world, Limozeen! Okay, hot babeliens, get ready to be rescued and romanced by my rock 'n' roll ruleage! Rrr.
:''{The game starts automatically.}''
:'''GAME LARRY:''' ''{Distorted monotone}'' Rock and roll, baby!
:''{The player can now play the game, but after a short while, the game picture starts to distort, the colors fluctuate, until it eventually dissolves into a mess of symbols.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what was that? No... Please... No no no!
:''{The game freezes completely, and a wisp of smoke comes out of the Fun Machine.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' NOOOO!!! C'mon, man, don't do this to me!
:''{A flock of bats flies into the room and start flying around Strong Bad's head. Strong Bad stands up and tries to bat them away.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bleargh! Go on! Git! Scram!
:''{The bats fly away. Strong Bad turns back to the Fun Machine}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aww, crapcakes. Not again! I just sprayed three cans of 4W DD in the cartridge slot this morning. Looks like I'll have to take it to the only fully-licensed Videlextrician in town... ''{sighs}'' Bubs. Don't worry, my poor broken Fun Machine, Bubs'll fix you up, better than new.
:''{Strong Bad drops the controller and picks up the Fun Machine.}''

==Basement==

===Couch===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I haven't checked the couch for change, chips, or charred remains recently. ''{Checks the couch, finds pants}'' What's this? Nothin' says "I have no business wearing these" like leopard print pants! I may have to oil myself up just to fit in them at the photo booth!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Checks the couch}'' What's this? Nothin'.

===Television===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Cool, a marathon of those depressing rockumentaries! Uh-oh, they did the inverted negative photo thing... somebody's goin' to rehab...
:{{short hr}}
:''Second time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, this rockumentary's about that band, "Bigg Nife". No way! The lead singer's name isn't really "Rip Nife"? I feel so used!
:{{short hr}}
:''Each time thereafter''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Do we really need a rockumentary about the guys who wrote "Left-Shift-Alt-Delete"?

===Trogdor Game===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Once those replacement parts clear customs, I'll be back to burninating peasants in the comfort of my basement, the way the good Lord Trogdor intended!

==Bathroom==

===LARP Sword===
:'''When Strong Sad is present'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, how'd you get your fake, dress-up sword out of Pompomerania, er, Club Technochocolate?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' That, my friend, is a tale fraught with intrigue, drama and mild adventure! It all started when&mdash;
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{interrupting}'' Yeah, yeah, stop talking. Can I borrow it?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' No.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon, let me borrow your wussy role-playing sword.
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Not for all the gold in Peasantry!

:'''When Strong Sad is absent'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Takes the sword}'' I'm not sure which is duller, my brother or this padded safety sword. Let's call it a tie.

===Mirror===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Why hello, gor-gee-ous!

===Shower===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Welcome to Mildew City. Please fasten your gag reflex.

===Sink===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad keeps the sink clean enough to eat out of... which I often make him do.

===Toilet===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's a miracle the toilet is still functioning after the workout the King of Town gave it last month!

====Bleach &rarr; Shower, Sink or Toilet====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not cleaning the bathroom, man; that's Strong Sad's job! Besides, I think this stuff is laundry bleach.
:''{If subtitles are on, they instead read "The last time I mixed laundry bleach with the exotic chemicals Strong Sad uses to clean the bathroom, I accidentally created ketchup gas... which <!--sic; no "is"-->a lot like mustard gas only slower... and with tomatoes."}''

==Computer Room==
=== Light Switch ===
:''{Strong Bad turns the switch off, waits, then turns it back on again.}''
:''{The first time this is done, Strong Bad finds a page of his Limozeen game manual.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, it's the cover of my Limozeen game manual, in all its hastily licensed glory!

=== Rave Switch ===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{In rap rhythm}'' And now it's time for a breakdown... ''{Plays a [[techno]] rave}'' Ahh, that's the stuff.
:{{short hr}}
:''Third time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Plays a techno rave}'' Whoa, those spinny dots are making me see things.
:{{short hr}}
:''All other times''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Plays a techno rave}''

=== Calendar ===
:'''Start of game'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Looks like today's the day I take my Fun Machine to Bubs for emergency repairs.

:'''After the Fun Machine is given to Bubs'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I guess today's the day I organize a Battle of the Bands to raise money to fix my Fun Machine.

:'''During the Battle of the Bands'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Today's the day I win the Battle Royale of the Bands so that I'll FINALLY have enough money to fix my broken Fun Machine!

:'''During Extended Play'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, now that I've gotten my broken Fun Machine repaired, maybe today's the day I get to work on Dangeresque 3. Hmmm.

===Floppy Disks===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's where I keep all my defunct computer games. Most of them won't even run on the Lappy anymore without, like, turning off all the RAM and hitting it with a brick.

=== Plug ===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I think the Lappy's had enough juice for now... ''{Goes to unplug the Lappy and gets shocked}'' Yaaah! ''{Shaky voice}'' I guess not.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Goes to unplug the Lappy and gets shocked}'' Yaaah! Invigorating.

=== Sign ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' In the time it would take me to read that sign, I could not loaf at least twice!

=== Stooly ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sometimes I think the stool moves an inch or two to the left behind my back, just to mess with my head.

=== Lighter ===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Picks up lighter}'' I must have left my lighter here during last night's candlelight ''{smooth voice}'' "SBEmails After Dark" session.

==Kitchen==
===Fridge===
:''{Strong Bad opens/closes fridge door}''

===Aerosol Cheese===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sweet! A can of jalapeno-flavored aerosol cheese! Easily one of my top five foamy orange food products ever! ''{Takes the can}''

===Microwave===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Touches the microwave and gets shocked}'' Yaaah! Geez, think someone balled up a bunch of forks and stuck them in there... yesterday.

===Cereal===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That box of Cheat Commandos-O's is getting a little funky, but I refuse to throw out breakfast cereals until I solve the mazes on the back.

===Dead Plant===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' We're keeping the rotting corpse of Charlemagne around in the hopes that he'll one day rise from the grave.

==Laundry Room==

===Box===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Looks under box}'' A "sloshy" T-shirt? Those glasses-wearing short hair-havers? I guess I'll put it in my pan-dimensional photo booth...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nope.

===Dryer===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Last month, Strong Sad sat me down and explained the ins and outs of the "washing machine" to me. The dry-er, however, remains as enigmatic as ever.

====Bleach &rarr; Dryer====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The last time I put bleach in the dryer, all of Strong Sad's underwears disintegrated... which sounds really cool, until you contemplate the horror of... freewheelin' Strong Sad!

====Bats &rarr; Dryer====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bats in the dryer? That'd be cruel, inhumane, and not NEARLY as funny as putting them in the washer!

===Pennants===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The great thing about these schools is they hand out a free diploma for every three pennants you buy!

===Washer===
:'''If the bats are not inside'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Kicks washer, which runs. When done, the lid pops open and Strong Bad looks inside}'' Water&mdash; successfully wasted.

:'''If the bats but not the bleach is inside'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Runs the washer, then gets the bats out}'' Hmm. Clean bats. Guess I should have expected that.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Runs the washer, then gets the bats out}'' I don't think repeated washings are going to get these guys any cleaner.

:'''If both the bats and the bleach are inside'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Runs the washer, then gets the bats out}'' All right! These bats have been bleached whiter than the King of Town's Richard Pryor impression!

====Bleach &rarr; Washer====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This oughta get the tough stains out of, well, anything.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'd better save some of this bleach for later. It might come in handy.

====Bat Hutch &rarr; Washer====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Sings}'' Washing up Strong Sad's bats... maybe someday, I should wash my pants.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, I hope I know what I'm doin', 'cause these bats are starting to look a little... soggy.

==Living Room==
===Box of Records===
:'''Only appears during the Battle of the Bands'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, It's a box of Strong Sad's old records. I better borrow them for safe-keeping; they could get scratched sitting there in that box. ''{Takes the box}''

===Luxa Lounger===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hmm, something's wedged in the Luxa Lounger... ''{reclines chair, finds shot glass}'' Whoa! Oh man. It's a Limozeen shot glass featuring High-Kicking Larry Palaroncini!
:{{short hr}}
:''{Strong Bad reclines/unreclines chair}''

===Window===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Shouts out the window}'' Good afternoon green bushes, how ya feelin!?

==Outside==
===Mailbox===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nothin' new here.

====Photo &rarr; Mailbox====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, let's do this thing. ''{Gets out the photo and writes on the back}'' Win a day with Limozeen constest... Staten Island... 10301. Limozeen album immortality, here I come! ''{Strong Bad puts the photo into the mailbox and closes it. Screen wipes to black, and back to Strong Bad opening the mailbox again, pulling out a letter. He reads}'' Dear Mr. Bad, are you ready to rock harder than anyone in your pimply male teenage peer group has ever rocked? Because your bodacious album cover is the ''{increases his excitement tone of voice here}'' winner of the Rip-Roarin' Rock-dezvous with Limozeen contest! Just let us know when and where and we'll be there, ready to sock your rocks off! Keep on 'zeening, Limozeen. ''{Puts the letter away}'' All right!
:'''If Strong Sad already has the security jacket, continue below'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I wonder if Bubs'll let me start looking for bands now...

===Box===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Looks under the box}'' Box peering guy, hey! ''{Finds a shot glass}'' Whoa, it's a shot glass with generically tall Limozeen bass player Perry Palaroncini!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nope.

==Strong Bad Emails==
===When sitting down===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' In a world of stupid emails... one man stands ready with his delete key...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' When I say "e" you say "mail"! "E"! "Mail"! "E"! "Mail!"
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Email. Ch-ch-choo-wih-choo-wih email.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Starting soft, getting louder}'' Emails, emails, emails, EMAILS!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' 3... 2... 1... ignition. Gentlemen, we have emails.

===When deleting emails===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dee! Lee! Ted! 
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' El Deleto Grande!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey says: Deleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the DELETED!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-leted!

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays, showing a red DELETED! screen which has the Female Lappy with fangs.}''

===When undeleting emails===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted! 
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Singing}'' Undeleted and it feels so good!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This email is undeleted for good behavior.

:''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays backwards, showing a cyan UNDELETED! screen.}''

===Email 1: Band Names===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Band Names</div>
Yo, S to the B,<br/>
I'm trying to come up with a good name for my band, but it<br>
seems like all the good ones  are taken. Any ideas?<br>
<br>
No-Name Brand Band
</blockquote>
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's true, Brandy, all the good ones ARE taken. ''{clears screen}'' That's why you need to start thinking of futuristic band names like "My Personal Jetpack" or "The Robot Rebellion." ''{Stops typing}'' Ooh, ooh! ''{Starts typing}'' Or "Really, Really, REALLY, Tiny Cell Phone." That should be enough to get you started, but I'm gonna need my royalties in 2086 dollars, or Globnars, as they will then be called. ''{Line break}'' Thanks. SB.

===Email 2: Rock Eras===
:'''Appears when visiting Marzipan's house for the first time'''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Rock Eras</div>
Dear Strong Bad,<br/>
In your opinion, what era of rock rocked the hardest?<br>
<br>
Looking for validation<br>
<br>
Mark Darin
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad sings the word "Darin" in a high-pitched voice.}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Sorry Mark. I don't validate. Maybe check with Bubs. But I can tell you exactly when rock rocked the hardest. When you're 18 to 24 years old. ''{clears screen}'' But if you're over 24 man, sucks to be you. Cause music rocks less and less with each passing year, until the next thing you know, you're listening to the oldies station and playing air guitar at a stop light next to a car full of teenagers that spit and laugh at you. Stupid kids. They call that noise music! ''{Line break}'' Curmudgeoninglyly, Strongbad.<!--sic-->

===Email 3: Creeped Out===
:'''Appears when visiting The Club for the first time'''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Creeped Out</div>
Dear Strong,<br/>
<span style="visibility:hidden">_</span>You've gotta help me! One of my coworkers won't<br>
stop staring at me!<br>
<br>
Creeped out of my mind,<br>
P. Louise
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces coworkers as "cow-workers" and the name as "Plou-ise".}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah. How are you Cow Workers supposed to get them do-ggies rollin' if somebody's staring at you? ''{Clears screen}'' When people stare at me, I just divert their attention to something I want them to do, say, or buy for me. Or in your case, cows you'd like punched, barns you'd like raised, or trails you would like to see happy. ''{Line break}'' Yippie kiyiyay, Strongbad.<!--sic-->

===Email 4: Bad Rock?===
:'''Appears the first time Strong Bad goes upstairs in the House of Strong in Extended Play'''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Bad Rock?</div>
Dear Mr. B,<br/>
What's the worst thing you can do in a rock 'n' roll song?<br>
<br>
Sincerely,<br>
Mike S.
</blockquote>
:''{Strong Bad pronounces "worst" as "woist", and the name as "Mikes".}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, assorted Mikes. You've already committed the worst offence just in your email. ''{Clears screen}'' You referred to "Rock 'n' Roll." You sound like a dad, man! ''{Strong Bad pauses for the comma, but does not type it}'' Oh how-de-hey boys, did you attend a Rock and Roll concerto last night featuring the latest in Rock and Roll bands? What's next? You gonna ask me what video game tapes I have for my new Intenduh system? ''{Line break}'' You're real hip dude, Mike. Nice work.

==Strong Bad's Room==

===Videlectrix Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Over the years I've collected every title featured on this poster... but for some reason I can only ever find about one a month.

===Dangeresque 3 Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's a teaser poster for the oft-delayed cinema classic-to-be, Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' People keep bugging me about Dangeresque 3. Someday I really should get around to writing a script for it... or coming up with a budget... basically anything past the "make poster" phase of development.

===Drawing Table===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Time for a little bit of randomly violent Teen Girl Squad fun! ''{Looks at the table}'' What the crap? Where'd all my notebook paper go? How can I draw any new episodes without any loose-leaf?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I won't be able to write any new adventures of the loveable Teen Girl Squad until I get some more paper!

====Limozeen Coloring Book &rarr; Drawing Table====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! Forget stupid note cards hidden under boxes, I just got the bestest Teen Girl Squad idea ever! ''{The player is now shown [[Teen Girl Squad meets Limozeen]]}'' Whoa, that turned out awesome! I should start Teen Girl Squadding our entire set of encyclopedias next!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I think the Teen Girl Squad's been put through the rusty metal wringer enough for one day.

====Entry Forms, Glossy or Photo &rarr; Drawing Table====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's a really good idea! But it's wrong.

===Metal Detector===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right: the Taranchula Black Metal Detector, now with built-in shovel attachment! ''{Takes the metal detector and shovel}''

===Fun Machine===
:'''In extended play'''

:'''When sitting down'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, Fun Machine. Give me some of that sweet, long-delayed video game funk! Or metal, as the case may be.

:'''On the title screen'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Babeliens, your savior awaits!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, the things I put up with for a few minutes of entertainment.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Didja miss me?

:'''Level start'''
::'''GAME LARRY:''' ''{Distorted monotone}'' Rock and roll, baby!

:'''During gameplay'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The power of rock compels you!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Those Flying Vees are everywhere, man!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Eat hot metal death, Nebulon!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Keep your slimy alien paws off my babelien groupie!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, I think that one winked at me!

:'''Level complete'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Bad is the master of babelien rescuery!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Step onto the bus, ladies!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' In space, no one can hear you squeeeal!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ask not what Limozeen can do for hot babelien groupies!

:'''Losing a life'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oops.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Craaap.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, man.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Arrr!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Nooo!

:'''Game over'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, this game's actually pretty hard.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Sobbing voice}'' If only... I could have... saved a few more... hot babelien groupies!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Noooo! Rats!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' You've won this battle, groupie-hoarding alien scum, but the war will be Limozeen's!
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, THAT was embarrassing.

===Seven-track===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I used to hide Strong Sad's retainer in the seven-track all the time, so it still felt like part of the team.

===Strong Bad's TV===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The TV seems so lonely without the Fun Machine.

:'''In extended play, it performs the same function as clicking on the Fun Machine'''

===Messy Pile===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' C'mon pile, I know you got some change in there! I'll even take Canadian coins at this point. ''{Looks in the pile}'' Aww, man, not even a single Loonie.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not sticking my gloves in there for at least another month. Probably two.

==Strong Sad's Room==

===Strong Sad===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey there, Sister Christian.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Remarkably, I don't have time for you today, Strong Bad.

====Strong Sad &rarr; Strong Sad ====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm sure I will instantly regret asking you this, but whatcha doin'?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I've finally decided to pursue my dream of becoming a snooty rock 'n' roll journalist.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A rock... and... roll... journal... ''{laughs}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You won't be bwa-ha-haing after I've sold my poignant coming-of-age tale of my snooty exploits to a snooty independent movie studio!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You're right, I, I shouldn't... ''{laughs}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{Sighs}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I forget. What are you doing again?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I'm preparing to set sail on my dream of becoming a snooty rock 'n' roll&mdash;
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Laughs}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' &mdash;journalist.

====Strong Sad &rarr; Fun Machine ====
:'''Only available before the Fun Machine is given to Bubs'''
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I don't know how to tell you this, but someone broke the Fun Machine.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Someone?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I think it was Someone Jackson, or maybe Someone Jackson Jr. Can you fix it?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' No, but Bubs has a black belt in fixing outdated electronics.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' But Bubs'll probably make me pay for it... with money!
:'''BUBS:''' ''{Appears in the doorway}'' I also accept first-born children!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Are you sure you can't fix the Fun Machine?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' All signs point to "Leave me alone and go to Bubs!"

====Strong Sad &rarr; Bat====
'''If discussed before looking at the Bat Hutch'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' You don't know anything about a bat infestation do ya, Count Suckula?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Ah, I see you've met the Von Blaubloods.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' The Von Wha?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' The Von Blaubloods... a rich lineage of fruit bats I'm raising in my bat hutch.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I don't care how cool their last name is. Tell 'em to stay out of my room!
'''If discussed at any other time'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aren't bat hutches supposed to be out-of-doors? Or in of Marzipan's bed?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Normally, but the Von Blaubloods love the delicate mixture of dank and damp here in my room.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Normally I think bats are pretty cool, especially when someone's biting the heads off them at the climax of an awesome concert, but ''{shouts}'' NOT WHEN THEY'RE IN MY FREAKING HOUSE! OUT! OUT! OUT!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' No, no, no.

====Strong Sad &rarr; Battle of the Bands Stage====
:'''Only available after the Fun Machine is given to Bubs'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, I got a story for you, Mister Snooty Rock Journalist: "Prepare ye all butts for maximum kickage, as Strong Bad organizes a legendary Battle Royale of the Bands!!"
:'''STRONG SAD:''' No, you're not.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, really. It'll have security and celebrity judges and everything!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' And ponies?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, and ponies! Whu-hey!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{Chortles}''

====Strong Sad &rarr; Security Jacket====
:'''Only available after the Fun Machine is given to Bubs'''
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{In his hyping-it-up voice}'' Check out this article of clothing.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' What is it?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So, about that jacket I showed you.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Yes?

====Strong Sad &rarr; Security Jacket &rarr; Angel====
:''First time only, and only if the Angel option is selected first''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's a security jacket. Y'know, the kind worn by security guards at concerts.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Okay, I can't stand those guys. They're always laughing at my press pass.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's not really a tour jacket. It's just a run-of-the-mill security jacket.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I don't believe you.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I think you're just trying to cover up for liking a band no one's ever heard of.

====Strong Sad &rarr; Security Jacket &rarr; Devil====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{If the Angel option was chosen first, add:'' It's not really a security jacket.''}'' It's a tour jacket for this hot new indie rock band called Security!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' "Security"? I've heard people talking about them. A lot of people.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' See? They're hot!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' But talk is cheap. Real indie bands have street teams that use guerilla marketing tactics to get their name and logo up all over the place.

====Strong Sad &rarr; Cancel====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, the bile in my throat tells me it's time to stop talking to you. I've got a Fun Machine to get repaired.

===Strong Sad's Bed===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Just as I thought... crinkly! Strong Sad still has one of those plastic wet-the-bed liners under his sheets.

===Bat Hutch===
:'''When Strong Sad is present'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hollerin' Jimmy's Bat Hutch Kit? Since when do you keep bats in your room?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Not just any bats. The Von Blaubloods are an extended family of majestic fruit bats. They inspire me.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' To what, get rabies?
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Can I borrow your bat hutch? I, uh, wanna do that thing with the tin foil that screws up their sonar.
::'''STRONG SAD:''' You leave the Von Blaubloods alone!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, okay, geez. Don't foam at the mouth.

:'''When Strong Sad is absent'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Sings while taking the bat hutch}'' Puttin' bat hutches in my pants... hope I don't get bit.

===Bookcase===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad ordered this bookshelf from one of them designy, foreign, put-it-together-yourself catalogs. This little guy is called "Flurgendroon."

===Camera===
:'''When Strong Sad is present'''
::''First time only''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' What's that?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' That's my Totalmatic SuddenShot Camera. It's so obsolete that it actually uses a mysterious substance known as "film" to make pictures.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa, exotic. Can I borrow it?
::'''STRONG SAD:''' No way, Strong Bad.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Stop grabbing at my stuff!

:'''When Strong Sad is absent'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Takes the camera}'' With the Totalmatic SuddenShot at my side, I'll totally be able to shoot all sorts of automatic pictures... suddenly!

===West Is Lip Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Stupid British dudes that I thought were ugly British chicks...

==Strong Mad's Room==

===Strong Mad===
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, little man.
:'''STRONG MAD:''' WHERE'S MY PICK?

====Strong Mad &rarr; Strong Mad ====
:''First time only''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's new in your monosyllabic world?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' COOL TAPES!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, band practice, huh? Have you kicked Marzipan out yet?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' SHE BRINGS SNACKS!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Fair enough.
:''{Marzipan's house appears on the map after the conversation is finished}''
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I forget, who else is in Marzipan's band?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' THE CHEAT ON SKINS!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, why does Marzipan get to hog all my bros? Why can't she start one of those lame-o core bands with Strong Sad instead?

====Strong Mad &rarr; Fun Machine ====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Now don't freak out, big fella, but I've got some bad news about the Fun Machine...
:'''STRONG MAD:''' FUN MACHINE OKAY?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Not exactly... see, there's been an accident, and&mdash;
:'''STRONG MAD:''' MAKE BETTER! MUST PLAY LADY SNAKE PARADE!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, okay! I'll make the Fun Machine better! Man...
:'''STRONG MAD:''' LADY SNAKE PARADE...
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Just to be sure, what would you do if the Fun Machine were broken?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' SMASH STUFF! BREAK STUFF!!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's what I thought. 

====Strong Mad &rarr; Bat====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Did you know that Strong Sad is raising bats with a cool last name in his room?
:'''STRONG MAD:''' SAVE THE BATS! LA-LA-LA!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aww, you like 'em too?

====Strong Mad &rarr; Cancel====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Well, this has been fascinating and articulate, but I've got a Fun Machine to repair. See you later, S-Mad.

===Dresser===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is where my brother keeps all his extra singlets, gym socks, and athletical supporting devices.

===Old Record===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Strong Bad takes the record, and it gets displayed to the player}'' Whoa! There's something I haven't seen in like, forever! Strong Sad cried for days when I defaced this record into the most awesome album cover idea ever. I bet you could sell like a kajillion records if you put together an album cover like this.

===Bass Guitar===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Mad plays a heavy bass&mdash; literally. The strings are actually those cables they use to hold up bridges.

===Dumbell===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is Belinda, Strong Mad's favorite dumbell. She's a bit on the heavy side, but she has a great personality.

===Right Closet Door===
:'''JIBBLIES PAINTING:''' ''{Dramatic shot}'' Come on in here!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie ''{Strong Bad jumps all over the place, and eventually closes the closet door.}'' ''Man'', that painting is creepy.

===Left Closet Door===
:''{Strong Bad opens/closes the door}''

====Left Closet Door &rarr; Stuffed Animal====
:'''When Strong Mad is present'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' It's Strong Mad's stuffed dinosaur, Poodonkis. ''{Turns to Strong Mad}'' Hey mus-cles, mind if I borrow this?
::'''STRONG MAD:''' POO-DONK-IS!!!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Guess so.

:'''When Strong Mad is absent'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, the mighty Poodonkis. His natural camouflage made him virtually invisible to predators in his native environment... which was, apparently, a clown's house. ''{Takes Poodonkis}''

==Game Epilogue==
:'''ON-SCREEN TEXT:''' EXTENDED PLAY UNLOCKED
:''{Strong Bad walks from the front door to the TV, carrying the Fun Machine. The only visible sign of repair is a pair of crossed band-aids stuck to the top surface.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, between the recording session, the world tour, the fall from glory, the reunion tour, the series of painful rabies shots, I almost forgot to pick up my Fun Machine from Bubs! ''{Puts the Fun Machine down in front of the TV, and pulls out the Limozeen game cartridge.}'' Let the Hot Babelien Oddysey finally commence! ''{Jams the cartridge into the Fun Machine, and sits down to play. Almost immediately, the Fun Machine starts smoking again.}'' What the crippity-crap!? BUUUUBS!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{Appears in the doorway}'' Could you keep it down? I'm working on the screenplay adaptation of my prize-winning articles that I never wrote!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bubs totally ripped me off, man! Like, more than usual! The Fun Machine is just as broke as ever!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{Inspects the Fun Machine}'' Hmmm... aha! ''{Pulls out the game cartridge}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' It's not broken, there's just a crusty wad of jalapeno cheese spray stuck in the cartridge, see?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Taking the cheese}'' So THAT'S where you ran off to!
:''{Strong Sad replaces the cartridge as Strong Bad sits down and tosses the piece of cheese into his mouth.}''
:'''STRONG BAD, STRONG SAD, AND GAME LARRY:''' ''{Simultaneously}'' Rock and roll, baby!
:''{Strong Bad plays the game as the credits roll. Snippets of songs featured in the game play over the credits.}''
::'''SINGER:''' Boys, boys, boys! Toys, toys, toys! Boys, boys, boys! Toys, toys, toys!
::''{Music fades to the Cool Tapes' ''Doin' the Wigglie''}''
::'''MARZIPAN:''' We're Cool Tapes and we're all jiggly.
::'''MARSHIE:''' Ooooo!
::'''MARZIPAN:''' Stuck in here with Marshie and we're doin' the Wigglie.
::'''MARSHIE:''' Doin' the Wigglie! Wiggle, waggle, wiggle...
::''{Music fades to ''Hugo Left Me''}''
::'''SINGER:''' Hugo left, Hugo left, oh, Hugo left me misera-bleh
::''{Music fades to ''Three O'Clock Twist''}''
::'''SINGER:''' One more time, in case ya missed, it's the three o'clock twist!
::''{Music fades to ''Slide to the Right''}''
::'''SINGER:''' You gotta slide to the right, y'all bridesmaids!
::'''BACKING VOCALS:''' Slide to the right!
::''{Music fades to ''Left-Shift-Alt-Delete''}''
::'''SINGER:''' Left-shift, left-shift, left-shift-alt-delete
::''{Music fades to the Two-O-Duo's ''Stealin' Stuff from My Own Store''}''
::'''COACH Z:''' ...and so I throw a fruit punch all the time!
::'''BUBS:''' I may be soft 'round the middle but I'm still hardcore!
::'''COACH Z:''' He's stealin' stuff from his own dang store!
::'''BUBS:''' ''{Simultaneously}'' I'm stealin' stuff from my own dang store!
::''{Music fades to a heavy metal guitar finish.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! I almost got nailed by a surface-to-air Flying Vee! ''{Puts down the controller and stands up}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Sounds pretty dangerous.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, sounds...
:''{Zoom in on the Dangeresque 3 poster as Strong Bad sings the Dangeresque theme song. Fade to black. The [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective#Preview Transcript|Dangeresque 3 preview]] then plays.}''

{{SBCG4AP}}
[[Category:Video Game Responses]]