Editing 8-Bit is Enough Responses (House of Strong)

[[Image:Sbcg4ap105 ghosts.png|thumb| "Why do all you video game types always talk in lame clues?"]]
[[Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People]] has many responses when you talk to various characters and interact with various objects. These are the responses from [[House of the Brothers Strong|House of Strong]] in [[8-Bit Is Enough]].

{{SBCG4AP Responses notation legend}}

==Game Introduction==
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' Previously, on ''Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People'' ''{pronounced "pepple"}''...
''{The game begins where [[Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective]] finished off - the outcry at the end of the film's premiere.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh-oh, this is starting to turn into an unruly mob. And not the good kind like I start at Strong Sad's poetry readings. For REAL this time: Looks like I'm gonna have to jump!
:''{Strong Bad proceeds to jump over the crowd. Cue freeze frame mid-jump.}''
:'''ANNOUNCER:''' And now, the conclusion of ''Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People'' ''{pronounced "pepple" again}''.
:''{The result of Strong Bad's jump leaves him crashing into the Trogdor arcade cabinet. Sparks start flying from the machine, causing everyone to look towards it. Worried about what would happen, they all start fleeing the basement... all but Strong Sad. Noticing this, Strong Bad quickly stands back up.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' NOW look what you did, Dumpalumpa! The Trogdor machine is ruined!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' What ''I'' did? This thing hasn't worked for months! Besides, YOU broke it! Everybody saw!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Look, this is no time to be pointing fat, doughy fingers. This is the time for YOU to figure out how you're going to fix it!
:''{A roar is heard from inside the machine.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What the crap was that?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' It sounds like the fan's broken! You'll have to get it serviced.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{annoyed}'' Serviced?!? Where am I supposed to get fan service around here?
:''{A one-sound-channel variant on Trogdor's theme is heard as wings sprout from the top of the cabinet, legs form at the bottom and a beefy arm sticks out from one of the cabinet's sides. The heavy metal version of the theme fades in as it starts chasing Strong Sad out of the room.}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{flees}'' Ahhhhhh!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{approaches the basement door in awe}'' That may be... the coolest thing... that has ever happened.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{off-screen}'' Ahhh! Help!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{leaves the basement, excited}'' Oh, I gotta see this!

==Basement==
===Box===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wonder what's in the box that ghost was pointing out. ''{Looks under the box; cue prompt for the Cheat Commandos action figure found}''

===Colonial Ghost===
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #4:''' One if by land, two if by sea. Bring one to me!

====8-Bit Lantern &rarr; Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #4:''' Hey, great! My lantern! Thanks, man! I'm Paul Revere!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, I wanna ask you a question.
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #4:''' Yeah, not to be rude, but I gotta split! These British people are coming, and I really should tell everybody about it. Thanks again for the lantern!
:''{Colonial Ghost #4 disappears}''

====Any other item &rarr; Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #4:''' No, that can't even hold a candle to the object I'm looking for! The clues don't get any clearer than this!

===Couch===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Couch, I think you should be in your ''own'' video game: "Couch Quest: The Search for My Butt"!

===TV===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ooo, it's time for the 8-hour cartoon block of "Videlectrix Saturday Mornideo Games"! This is the one where some real-world kids get sucked into some video game. Ridiculous.

==Bathroom==

===Box===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wow, I never noticed that box until that friendly ghost pointed it out to me! ''{Looks under the box, finds Stinkoman's boots}'' Stinkoman's whole-lot-cooler robot boots! Now I can totally fly around in space in cool action poses! ''{Strikes a pose}''

===Mirror===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary!
:''{Strong Bad looks ahead in silence.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, those ghost stories never wor-
:'''JIBBLIES PAINTING''' ''{suddenly appears from behind}'' Come on in here!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{turns around to face the painting}'' A-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie! ''{calms down}'' How does it DO that?
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way, man. Don't know WHAT could be staring back at me.

===Shower===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I used to like playing "Guess who's hiding outside the shower with a knife" with Strong Sad, until that time he panicked and ran around the house all naturale. ''{disgusted}'' Some things were not meant to be seen.

===Sink===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Those cabinets are empty. We used the last of the toilet paper dressing Strong Mad up as "Squarehotep: The vengeful mummy".

===Toilet===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' If I gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss gazes back at me. And asks to be sanitized.

==Computer Room==
===Colonial Ghost===
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #3:''' I unlocked the door to electricity... using a kite. It's a metaphor, work with me here.

====8-Bit Key &rarr; Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #3:''' You have found it! I am free once again! I am Ben Franklin! Thank you, citizen!
:''{Colonial Ghost #3 disappears}''

====Any other item &rarr; Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #3:''' That is not the object I'm looking for! Apparently you haven't unlocked my insultingly obvious riddle!

===Calendar===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I gotta replace this thing with a To-Do list. 1: Save world from dragon. 2: Make To-Do list. 3: Buy socks. 

===Floppy Disks===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I better keep these disks locked up in case any more videogames come to life.

===Lappy 486===
:''{While the ghost sprites are roaming around the house}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' No way am I going near the Lappy while the house is haunted. ''{turns to the camera}'' I could get sucked into the screen or something.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{pops up}'' I heard that's how the Bad Graphics Ghost started! ''{vanishes}''
:{{short hr}}
:''{Using the Lappy at any other time would take the player directly to the '''Strong Bad Emails'''.}''

===Light Switch===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{flicks the switch off and on}'' Whooo, interactivity!
:{{short hr}}
:''{When the house is "haunted"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{as Dangeresque}'' That's a good idea. But it's wrong.

===Power Cord===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Nah, the Lappy's battery lasts about 45 seconds these days. Those EGA graphics don't come cheap, man.

===Rave Switch===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... a very special lightswitch rave.
:''{Strong Bad does the usual lightswitch rave, but instead of using ''The System Is Down'' as backing music, ''Trogdor'' is heard in the background.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' And the Trogdor comes... in the night.
:{{short hr}}
:''{When the house is "haunted"}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{as Dangeresque}'' That's a good idea. But it's wrong.

===Sign===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm thinking of revising my no loafing policy. Maybe allow loafing during designated hours, or with the express written consent of Major League Baseball.

===Stool===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{walks away from the stool}'' Don't tell Stooly I said this, but he's getting a ferocious case of the... ''{emphasized dramatically}'' ...SBEMAIL BOTTOM STANK.

==Hallway==
===Colonial Ghost===
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' I dropped mine into the bay! And then I invented beer, or something.

'''Plays the first time Strong Bad speaks to a ghost'''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Why do you video game types always talk in lame clues? Why don't you just tell me what you're looking for?
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' We get more screen time this way!
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #3:''' Triple scale for each spoken line of dialog!
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #4:''' What he said!

====8-Bit Teabag &rarr; Colonial Ghost====
:''{Seen only during the "Spirits of '76" game}''
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' You have found it! I am free once again! I am Samuel Adams! Cheers!
:''{Colonial Ghost #1 disappears}''

====Any other item &rarr; Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' That's not the item I'm looking for. Ahem! I could give you a clue if I weren't so thirsty!

==Kitchen==
===Cereal===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I gotta choke down the rest of that box of Cheat Commandos-Os sometime. Just 23 more box tops, and I can get the free junkyard submarine playset!

===Fridge===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{opens the fridge door, revealing it to be empty}'' Empty. Fridge, I think you should be in your own videogame: "Fridge Quest: The Search for Serving a Purpose!" ''{slams the door shut}''

===Go Outside===
:'''Before getting the key from Strong Sad'''
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Where are you going? You can't take on Trogdor without calling product support first! You'll void your warran-tee! And maybe your bladder!

:'''After getting the key'''
::''{The Trogdor cabinet noticed Strong Bad's presence and flees. Strong Bad proceeds to chase it.}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey! Come back here!
::''{The player is automatically taken to the Field at this point.}''

===Strong Sad===
:'''Only present until Strong Bad replaces the Trogdor machine's logic board'''

:''{First time only}''
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You're finally here! Help me shore up our defenses in case he comes back!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, what happened to Trogdor? I expected to see him pummeling and/or burninating you by now.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' I told him my plant Charlemagne was a defenseless peasant baby and threw it out the window! When he went after it, I locked the door behind him! That thing is out of control! You've got to get a new logic board and stop him!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Stop him? No, no... it's pronounced "cheer - him - on"! ''{does curved hand gestures on his last line}''

:'''At intervals when in the scene'''
::'''STRONG SAD:''' Bar the doors! He'll kill us all!

====Strong Sad &rarr; Trogdor====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Did you see where Trogdor went?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' He's still outside, just waiting for us to let our guard down!

====Strong Sad &rarr; Strong Sad====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So you finally found a way to put that dead plant out of my misery, huh?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{subdued}'' Charlemagne went out a true hero, defending our house with his final act. He would've wanted it that way.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{surprised}'' Charlemagne was a ''he''?

====Strong Sad &rarr; Logic Board====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What's this "logic board" you're babbling about?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' When you broke the machine-
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{interrupts}'' We never established who broke what!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' -you must've damaged the 8-Bit Containment field! You'll have to call Videlectrix for a replacement. It's the only way for Trogdor to get safely back into the game!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Why would I want to get him BACK in the game? Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to have my own dragon?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' If Trogdor gets free, the videogame world and the real world will merge! Imagine hearing the repetitive, monophonic music of 8-bit games wherever you are, every second, for the rest of your life!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I know! That sounds awesome!
:''{Strong Sad then imitates 8-bit videogame music himself, finally annoying Strong Bad on its fourth repetition.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{bitterly}'' All right, I'll fix the machine.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' How am I supposed to get one of those "logic board" things?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' You've got to call Videlectrix and order a replacement! Don't you still have Homestar's phone? That you stole? A few months ago? In your room?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{enlightened}'' That's right! Man, it's hard to keep up with all the stuff I steal. I should start keepin' a spreadsheet... or a bedsheet... Fredsheet?

====Strong Bad &rarr; Cancel====
:''{First time only}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wait here, DumpyKong Jr. I've got a reanimated arcade machine to take care of.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Just you? You'd have to be some type of idiot to take on Trogdor alone!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' What? You said all I have to do is replace some kind of logic board and everything'd be fine. I just need to remember where I put the key to open the Trogdor machine, then grab a logic board somewhere and pop it in! How hard can ''that'' be?
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Plenty! But since you never listen to me and you're probably going to do it anyway, take this case key. ''{reveals the key}'' It's the only way to open the cabinet.
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{pinches the key}'' Wait, you've had MY key that opens the Trogdor cabinet this whole time?!
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Well, yes, but I was only holding onto it for you so that you wouldn't lose it like you did with your baby blankey and...
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{interrupts}'' Shut up. Shut up nine times.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I can't stand around talking to you. I've got to go vanquish the dragon.
:'''STRONG SAD:''' Well, all right. But wash your hands this time!

==Laundry Room==
===8-Bit Artifact===
:''{Seen only during the "Spirits of '76" game; it's an old key}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's an old-timey key! Just look at that resolution!
:''{He takes it}''

===Dryer===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Someday I'm gonna learn not to give The Cheat a ride in the dryer on Tacos 'n' Gravy night.

===Pennants===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' My CGNU class reunion is in two weeks! I better get working on that novel! And marriage. And hair implants. And build that particle accelerator.
:{{short hr}}
:''{After you remove the ghosts from the house}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' From now on, the only kind of spirit I want to see in this house is ''school'' spirit! ''{The following text appears onscreen, and an instrumental version of [[Please Stop Trying to Handle My Style]] plays}''
<blockquote>STRONG BAD'S cool GAME<br>
 for ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE<br>
<br>
Directed .......... [[Cherry Greg]]
<br>
Written ........... [[A. Chimendez]]
<br>
Story .... [[Lem Sportsinterviews|"Lem" Sportsinterviews]]
<br>
Visual fx ........ [[The Cheat]]
<br>
Sounds & Smells ....... [[Strong Sad]]
<br>
Props ............ [[Douglas]]
<br>
Unfunnyness .......... [[Levert Burtmore]]
<br>
Slam Dunks ............ [[The Deke]]
<br>
Best Dennis .............. [[Dennis]]
</blockquote>
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{record scratch}'' Okay, that's enough of that.

===Washer===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad's still washing all the Dangeresque 3 costumes, so we'll be ready for all the awards ceremonies!

==Living Room==
===Smoke Detector===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Our last, best defense against burnination.

===Window===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, bushes. Any of you start smiling and dancing, and I'm gonna have to come out and put a stop to it. You have been warned.

==Outside==

===On arrival after applying the logic board to the Trogdor machine===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{notices many redcoat ghost sprites appear outside his house}'' Great. And now the house is haunted.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{appears on-screen, frightened}'' G-g-g-ghosts? You go on without me, big guy. I'll stay back in the van with The Cheat!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{annoyed}'' 1 - You don't have a van. 2 - I wish I could get rid of you that easily. And 3 - These aren't even the groundskeeper-wearing-a-sheet-covered-in-phosphorescent-paint kinda ghosts, anyway! They're from "Spirits of 76" ''{emphasized with a dramatic, shaky voice}'', that Bicentennial-themed game where you're a big, spooky pixel running a black screen picking up ''other'' spooky pixels.
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Are they... ''{gulps}'' ...spooky GHOST pixels? ''{vanishes}''

===After getting thrown out by the ghosts===
'''Occurs if Strong Bad allows the Redcoat Ghosts to get too close after entering with the Light Musket'''

:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Kicked out on your keester again, huh? Dang old ghosts got the best of ya?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Shut up! ''{Brandishes the light musket}'' This gun's enough to take out all those stupid ghosts!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Yeah, but don't forget to fire it! This one time, I was using it to stir my tea (Earl Grey, with honey, no sugar) and then the doorbell rang&mdash;
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Interrupting}'' Don't make me come in there!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Argh, stupid Redcoats! Need a taste of The Shot Heard Round Their Boontockles!

===Box===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{looks under the box}'' Ah, I was wondering where the box for my "Lady Crate Ape" game had gone to... I mean Strong Sad's "Lady Crate Ape" game... that sucks, and he sucks, too, because of it.

===Front Door===
:'''If entering the house unarmed'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{enters the house to see everything is pitch black}'' How am I supposed to see anything in here?
::''{A group of ghosts surround him.}''
::'''GHOSTS:''' LEAVE THIS PLACE!
::''{The ghosts throw Strong Bad out of the house, causing him to land on his chest.}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{stands up}'' Ow! Why don't you try doing that to my face, stupid ghost!
::'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{appears next to Strong Bad}'' I think they just DID do'd that to your face.
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{turns to Homestar, annoyed}'' No they didn't! Besides, it was too dark to tell. If I could just find that Light Musket peripheral that came with the game, then we'd see who's knocking whom out of whom's house.
::''{Homestar vanishes.}''
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{enters the house to see everything is pitch black}'' How am I supposed to see anything in here?
::''{A group of ghosts surround him.}''
::'''GHOSTS:''' LEAVE THIS PLACE!
::''{The ghosts throw Strong Bad out of the house, causing him to land on his chest.}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I ''need'' to find that Light Musket!

:'''If entering armed'''
::''{Strong Bad activates the light musket and shines it all over the house (it is the only source of light in the otherwise pitch-black house), eventually landing on The Cheat in Strong Bad's room, cowering behind the Taranchula standee}''
::'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{terrified The Cheat noises}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat! Did you unleash vengeful spirits into the house again?
::'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{more terrified The Cheat noises}''
::''{Strong Bad shines the light on a ghost}''
::'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' ''{in the hall between the living room and Strong Bad's Room}'' He removed the cartridge while it was loading and trapped us here forever!
::'''GHOSTS:''' SAVE US!
::'''COLONIAL GHOST #2:''' ''{in Strong Mad's Room}'' Save me&mdash; er, yeah, us!
::''{Return to Strong Bad}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Forever, huh? We'll see what ol' Muskie here has to say about that!
::'''COLONIAL GHOST #3:''' ''{in the computer room}'' Your gun is useless against the sprites of liberty!
::'''COLONIAL GHOST #2:''' Separate rendering layer, Jack! Deal with it!
::'''COLONIAL GHOST #1:''' You must return the items we have lost!
::''{The Paper comes down and provides the instructions on how to play "Redcoat Ghost Patrol"}''
::'''INSTRUCTIONS:''' Help the colonial ghosts and avoid the redcoat ghosts! Use the right mouse button to fire your light musket.
::''{The game [[Spirits of '76]] begins}''

===Mailbox===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{opens the mailbox}'' No mail? There's ALWAYS cool stuff in or around my mailbox. ''{closes the mailbox}'' I blame Trogdor for this.

====Gel-Arshie &rarr; Mailbox====
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Special delivery. ''{Deposits a red box}'' It's red, just like me!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I totally didn't see that cardboard box before. How did you do that?
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' ''{Shouting}'' It's 'cause I'm an abomination! ''{Creepily}'' And now, I'm gonna follow you EVERYWHERE! ''{Goes away. Strong Bad jiggles uncomfortably}''

===Red Box===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Looks under the box, finds a card}'' A Good Graphicketeers card! This one is for the 360 flapjack to junk in the trunk trick for Pro Fruitboarder.

==Strong Bad Emails==
===When sitting down===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Stage One complete. Stage Two: e-mails.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A lone space marine against an unstoppable army of zombie elves on the beaches of Normandy. His only weapon: e-mail.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Bad was a single guy who'd given up on love. But then he met... e-mails.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' E-MAIL BOSS FIGHT!

===When deleting e-mails===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Dee! Lee! Ted! 
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' El Deleto Grande!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Survey says: Deleted!

''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays, showing a red DELETED! screen which has the Female Lappy with devil horns.}''

===When undeleting e-mails===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Undeleted! 
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted no more!

''{After each of these, the deleted sound plays backwards, showing a cyan UNDELETED! screen.}''

===Email 1: Good Graphicketeers===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Good Graphicketeers</div>
Ahoy, Good Graphicketeers!<br>
Take a whiff of the all the pixel-packed fun coming your way<br>
from Videlectrix!<br>
Celebrate the "Fright"centennial with Spirits of '76 and its<br>
"Revolutionary" new light musket attachment! The ladder<br>
-building action of Mista Fixit will have you riveted to your<br>
Fun Machine! Maybe include the Mrs. with Lady Crate Ape<br>
from Videlectrix for Her! Experience the mild, sports type<br>
gameplay of the Videlectrix Halfathlon.<br>
And please, for the love of Pete, don't forget old favorites<br>
like Peasant's Quest and Stinkoman (not available in some<br>
territories). And kids, keep your eyes peeled for our<br>
collectible trading cards, probably buried or hidden near<br>
you!
</blockquote>

:''{After reading the greeting, Strong Bad exclaims "Oh boy, it's the Videlectrix newsletter!"; he also omits the first "the" in the following sentence.}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' Another great newsletter! Looks like Videlectrix upgraded their ''computer''!  Singular.  The last "e-mail" I got from them was hand-written on a napkin and shoved under my door.

===Email 2: personality quiz===
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: personality quiz</div>
Strong Bad!<br>
Which Cheat Commando are you most like and why?<br>
<br>
Curious,<br>
Doug M, Vermont<br>
</blockquote>

:''{Strong Bad over-emphasizes the greeting and follows it up with "What?!? Don't sneak up on me like that!". He also reads the sender's name as "Dug 'em, VerMONT".}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Is this one of those lame internet personality quizzes that people are always forwarding me? Like "Which character from ''The Color Purple'' are you?" That thing said I was a Celie when everybody knows I'm a Squeak! ''{clears screen}'' Anyways, my favorite Cheat Commando would have to be Gunhaver. Because out of all the action figures I've melted with a soldering iron, he turned into the coolest abomination. Now I call him Twig, Rusty Nail, Some Dead Bugs, and Right Leg of Other Action Figure Haver. But my second choice would be any of the ruthless TOPPLEGANGERS! The sometimes good guys, most-time bad guys guns-for-hire! I don't even have their action figures, but I have a feeling they'd be reeeeeeal melty.

====Email 3: trogdor us storng bad====
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: trogdor us storng bad</div>
what gives in peasants quest it says that nobody can beat<br>
TROGDOR but i thought storng bad could beat anybody so<br>
my question is who would win in a fight you or TROGDOR?<br>
<br>
manny
</blockquote>

:''{Strong Bad reads the entire email without pausing for breath, over-emphasizes Trogdor's name and reads his name as mis-spelt.}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Manny? Manny who? Manny e-mails are better written than this one? Manny people have asked me to use the shift key but I refuse to listen? ''{clears screen}'' Of course I would win! I birthed Trogdor! It's like how your dad always shellacs you at tennis even when he's 70 years old. He knows all your moves! You wouldn't know it to look at him, but that beefy arm has no backhand. And his net game is practically non-existent. I could easily take him in straight sets. ''{realizes the subject matter}'' Oh wait. You asked about a fight... with a dragon... that breathes fire... Hmmm. Maybe I ''should'' come up with some kinda non-tennis related plan to defeat that guy.

====Email 4: Death====
<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Death</div>
Dear Strong Bad,<br>
I think you have the best taste in videogames and are never<br>
wrong. But my brother just got this new game where you<br>
can't die at all, you just get stuck! I think this is boring<br>
but what do you think about games where you can't die?<br>
<br>
John Platz, AK
</blockquote>

:''{Strong Bad adds "You're my new best friend" after reading the first sentence, and reads AK as "Ack!".}''

:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' A videogame where you can't die? No, that doesn't sound boring at all, it sounds... ''{suddenly stops typing and falls snoringly asleep for a few seconds}'' ...no offence... ''{wakes up, starts typing again}'' ...wha?!? Sorry. Nodded off there. ''{clears screen}'' But seriously, what are you supposed to do in a game where you can't die? Pick up things? Talk to people? Talk to people about things you just picked up? Let me be first in line NOT to play that game. Sometimes I try to die in games that don't even LET you die. Like Solitaire. I swear if I keep playing 2 cards of the same suit on top of each other, that one-eyed jack'll jump out and stab the crap outta me!

==Strong Bad's Room==
===8-Bit Artifact===
:''{Seen only during the "Spirits of '76" game; it's a feather pen}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Wow. It's an enormous... feather. I'm learning so much about history right now.
:''{He takes it}''

===Fun Machine===
:'''Before the ghost sprites get released'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Spirits of '76? Whoa, this is that haunted historical hadventure game that came with that awesome Light Musket peripheral! ''{Looks around}'' Oh man, where's the Light Musket? I gotta find that thing!

:'''While the ghost sprites are roaming around the house'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm not playing any games while the house is still haunted. I don't want anybody sneaking up behind me.

:'''After the ghost sprites are gone'''
:''{First time only}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' "Gel-Arshie's Pro Fruitboarder"? The Cheat must've changed the cartridge without turning the machine off first. Even though, it clearly says on the box that doing so could result in loss of data and/or the physical manifestation of spectral entities. I might as well see if it's worth the zero dollars I paid for it.
:{{short hr}}
:''{subsequent times}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Time to shred some serious air with my totally gelatinous bromide Gel-Arshie!

:'''Start-up sequence'''
::''{Cut to a shot of Strong Bad playing the game on the TV. The Videlectrix title is displayed, followed by the Stinkoman 20X6 version of the Videlectrix Mascot appearing. The Videlectrix music plays, with Strong Bad humming with it}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{as the Mascot trips and falls; to the logo's music}'' Wipe-out.
::''{The Gel-Arshie game title screen is displayed, as Gel-Arshie slides across the screen to the right side on a surfboard. The control instructions are displayed}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{First time only}'' Okay, let me see how this game works.
::''{He plays the game}''

====Gel-Arshie's Pro Fruitboarder &rarr; Kill Screen====
:''{The game screen switches to a series of pink text strings flashing, followed by a brief flash of Gel-arshie's face, followed by all the lines having the text "All work and no fruit makes Gel-Arshie a dull boy". After a further few flashes, Gel-Arshie's face could be seen much clearer. Eventually, the screen zooms in on his nose, and he starts to squeeze out of the TV.}''
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' ''{struggling}'' Eerrrrgggghhh...
:''{Gel-Arshie frees himself from the TV and starts hovering towards Strong Bad, now backing away to the entrance of his room. Then he suddenly edged forward, causing Strong Bad to fall backwards.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Aaaaaargh!
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Hey kids! I'm Gel-Arshie and I'm in your house! ''{Strong Bad gets up and continues to back away again.}'' You tired old snacks can- ''{realizes that he's not a sprite anymore, and surprises Strong Bad from behind}'' AHH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LEGS?!?
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{panicked}'' Ahhhh! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!
:''{Gel-Arshie vanishes. Strong Bad looks around for him, only to see him re-appear from behind the Taranchula standee.}''
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Just kiddin'! You tired old snacks can go to bed, my fruitactular taste turns everything RED! ''{The entire room glows red on the end of his line.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{disguisted}'' Euglh! Just join my party already!
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' ''{edges closer towards Strong Bad}'' Sure thing, kid! I'll follow you EVERYWHERE! ''{vanishes}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{unsettled}'' Man, I HATE that... guy.
:'''ON-SCREEN TEXT:''' GEL-ARSHIE has joined your party!

====At intervals while playing====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Cower at the feet of my awesome moves!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This game is like pure, undiluted 1989 concentrate.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, this game is making me hungry.

====End of level====
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Radical!
:{{short hr}}
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Extreme!
:{{short hr}}
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Dude-acious!

====When losing a life====
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Bogus!
:{{short hr}} 
:'''GEL-ARSHIE:''' Gnarly!

====When getting a new high score====
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A new high score!

===Messy Pile===
:''{First time only}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Gotta be all kinds of cool stuff in here... ''{starts searching through it}'' Cool and moist... ''{disgusted}'' ...best not think about that. ''{pulls out a cell phone}'' A-ha! Homestar's cell phone! I probably shouldn't have dialed the Ukranian Weather Update Line and left it on all these months. ''{raises the phone to his head}''
:'''UKRANIAN OPERATOR:''' Is still very cold!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{puts the phone away}'' I hope Homestar's got some crazy roll-over minutes!
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wait, I thought I set this pile on fire a few months ago! Talk about spontaneous re-generation.

===Metal Detector===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{boredly, eyes half-closed}'' Once again, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the Taranchula Black Metal Detector and Shovel Attachment. ''{takes it}''

===Seven Track===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Even without an "on" button, speakers, or any place to insert recorded media, this seven track still has the best sound. Just listen to that thing resonate!

===Taranchula Standee===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I had The Cheat distract Strong Mad while I snuck into his room and stole back my Taranchula cardboard cutout. ''{turns to the camera}'' Of course, Strong Mad is also distracted by dim lights, grass growing, and the rotation of the earth, so I probably could've saved myself the trouble.

===The Cheat===
:'''At game start'''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat, you know you gotta ask permission before you can play with or be around the Fun Machine.
::'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{pleadingly, holding a game cartridge}'' Meehhh, meh!
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Especially when it's to put crap like ''this'' in there. ''{reads the game name}'' Gel-Arshie's Pro Fruitboarder? That's the promo shovelware I got for sending in the proofs of purchase from all that Jela-Ton I won in the Race to the End of the Race! Those things are ''never'' any good! Say it with me, The Cheat...
::'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{slow and by-rote The Cheat noises}''
::'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{simultaneously with The Cheat}'' Licenced videogames are never good.
::{{short hr}}
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Don't look so down, The Cheat! I'll let you watch me play lots of games later!

:''''While the ghost sprites are roaming around the house''' 
::'''STRONG BAD:''' Don't be such a baby, The Cheat. They're just 8-bit ghosts.
::'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{frightened}'' Meeeeeek!

===Videlectrix Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I bet that place with all the flying videogames looks WAY cooler in person!
:{{short hr}}
:''{After the ghost sprites have gone}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That place looks way cooler on the poster.

===End of Spirits of '76 game===
:''{After the colonial ghosts receive their artifacts, the lights turn back on and the redcoat ghosts are sucked into the Fun Machine}''
:'''REDCOAT GHOST:''' Blimey!
:''{Strong Bad enters the room brandishing his light musket}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' That's right, stupid ghosts, shoo! Go off and show up as unexplained blurs and mysterious photographs or something!
:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{appears next to Strong Bad}'' Ghost photography ain't no joke, Strong Bad. You too can take pictures that look like you sneezed on 'em.
:''{Homestar disappears}''

==Strong Mad's Room==

===8-Bit Artifact===
:''{Seen only during the "Spirits of '76" game; it's a lantern}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Looks like a box. With a line in it. Maybe a lantern?
:''{He takes it}''

===Colonial Ghost===
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #2:''' My single greatest claim to fame's the fancy way I signed my name!

====8-Bit Quill Pen &rarr; Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #2:''' You have found it! I am free once again! I am John Hancock! Make sure your family's insured in the event of an emergency.
:''{Colonial Ghost #2 disappears}''

====Any other item &rarr; Colonial Ghost====
:'''COLONIAL GHOST #2:''' That's not what I'm looking for. Would you like me to draw you a picture? No wait, I can't without my item, can I?

===Closet Door===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' I know I don't want to look inside there, but I just can't stop myself...
:''{Strong Bad opens the door with his eyes shut. When he opens them... he sees that the closet is empty.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Wha? ''{turns away from the closet}'' Where'd the painting go?
:'''JIBBLIES PAINTING:''' ''{suddenly appears from behind}'' Come on in here!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{faces the painting}'' AAGGGGHH! A-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie!

===Dresser===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Man, how come Strong Mad can't have Chinese stars and girlie magazines hidden in here like ''all'' good older brothers?

===Dumbell===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' It's... heavy.

===Painting===
:'''JIBBLIES PAINTING:''' Come on in here!
:'''STRONG BAD:''' A-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie-jibblie! ''{recovers from the jibblies fit}'' Man, that painting is creepy!

==Strong Sad's Room==

===8-Bit Artifact===
:''{Seen only during the "Spirits of '76" game; it's a teabag}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, I've got no idea what this is, but I bet I'm gonna need it.
:''{He takes it}''

===Bookcase===
:''{First time only}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, it's one of my Videlectrix Good Graphicketeers cards! ''{card appears on screen}'' "Carpal Tunnel Connie". ''{unamused}'' Wow, that... is not funny. People must've had a different sense of humor way back in... ''{reads the card}'' "Printed in 2006?" Oh.
:{{short hr}}
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad knows better than to leave his books out where I can... ''{gestures with his hands}'' ..."edit" them.

===sloshy Poster===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad needs to make up his mind about these posters! I've had the same booger stuck to my wall since I was seven.

===Strong Sad's Bed===
:'''STRONG BAD:''' This is where Strong Sad dreams of impossible things! ''{turns to the camera}'' Like having friends...

{{incomplete}}
{{SBCG4AP}}

[[Category:Video Game Responses]]