User:Gfdgsgxgzgdrc
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Thy Wikiuser 2: This Time, It Isn't Not Thy Wikiuser 2_
Welcome to
The not-so-long-awaited sequel to the best (and probably also worst) userpage text adventure of 2020!
Now hurry, the fate of the Internet rests in your browser! Get to clickin'!
It's April 1st. You decide to check homestarrunner.com to see if there's a new toon, but... the site's down. That's odd. What's wrong with the website? Is this an April Fools' joke? Before you can determine the answer, you start to feel a particular sensation you recall experiencing exactly a year ago. You start feeling dizzy and light-headed. You struggle to keep your eyes open. Suddenly, everything goes dark, and your head collapses on your keyboard.
When you finally come to, you find yourself sprawled out on a field of grass. Your vision is still a bit blurry, but you can faintly make out the outlines of bushes in the distance. There's some blue ribbon nearby, and... is that Homestar and Strong Bad? Oh no. Your consiousness hasn't been transferred to the Internet again, has it?
A familiar voice echoes menacingly from all around you. "It's been a while."
How do you respond?
"Indeed, it is I. Surprised?"
How do you respond?
"Ah ha. Still quite the comedian, I see. Don't tell me you haven't missed the melodic sound of my voice."
How do you respond?
"Oh, sure. And would you like a hundred dollars? How about a slice of fresh pastry? Come back to me when you have a real question."
How do you respond?
"That's funny. You see, I am but a string of ones and zeros that can be transferred and duplicated endlessly. Not even the wrath of the Burninator himself can remove me from this World Wide Web."
How do you respond?
"You're a smart one. Of course you knew that, as a virtual being dwelling within the Internet, I cannot be killed. Not even the wrath of the Burninator himself can remove me from this World Wide Web."
How do you respond?
"That's fair. I did trap you within the Internet and try to kill you last April Fools'. And now I'm doing it again. So I can't say I blame you for not liking me so much."
How do you respond?
"For two decades, that simpleton Homestar Runner has captivated the Internet, stealing everyone's attention. Do you think he deserves this? He is not intelligent, he is not talented, and he is certainly not funny. Last year I came close to recreating Homestar's wiki in my image, but I now realize that is not enough. I must take over this very website. But I won't stop there. My plan will not succeed until I have erased the entirety of the Internet — and you with it."
How do you respond?
"For two decades, that simpleton Homestar Runner has captivated the Internet, stealing everyone's attention. Do you think he deserves this? He is not intelligent, he is not talented, and he is certainly not funny. Last year I came close to recreating Homestar's wiki in my image, but I now realize that is not enough. I must take over this very website. But I won't stop there. My plan will not succeed until I have erased the entirety of the Internet — and you with it."
How do you respond?
"You didn't think you could thwart my plans without becoming a target of my revenge, did you? Soon, the Internet will be reduced to virtual ashes — and look at that, you're in the Internet now. What do you think that means for you?"
How do you respond?
"Indeed. You didn't think you could thwart my plans without becoming a target of my revenge, did you? Soon, the Internet will be reduced to virtual ashes — and look at that, you're in the Internet now. What do you think that means for you?"
How do you respond?
"Many years ago, I calculated that 423,827 viruses should, in theory, not only consume the website, but spread through the Internet and wreak havoc over all websites. So I sent a virus email to the popular wrestling fellow, and for a time, the site descended into pure chaos — that it didn't last longer is my only regret. And so I vowed to one day unleash a new virus, one incapable of destruction via mere shotgun."
How do you respond?
"Oh, I already have," he says smugly. "The virus has been unleashed months ago, and is causing problems as we speak. Games don't work, videos don't play, and so forth. Given your interest in this foolish site, you have likely experienced some of the virus's effects already."
How do you respond?
"You're a smart one," he sneers grimacingly. "Once I received word that the site was going to be redesigned and emulated, I knew exactly what to do. I inserted this virus into the emulator, so any glitches would be shrugged off as mere 'compatibility issues'. The glitches seem harmless now, but soon the virus will grow until it consumes the entire Internet. In fact, some of the issues should begin taking effect in... oh, I'd say right about now."
And with that, the echoes of his voice dissipate. A strong wind begins to blow. Storm clouds loom over the horizon, lightning striking the now-misshapen bushes. The freshly-trimmed blades of grass transform into blocky pixels. You have to save the Internet — but how can you do that when you're inside it?
Obvious exits:
"Really? You're even more ignorant than I thought," he sneers grimacingly. "Once I received word that the site was going to be redesigned and emulated, I knew exactly what to do. I inserted this virus into the Ruffle emulator, so any glitches would be shrugged off as mere 'compatibility issues'. The glitches seem harmless now, but soon the virus will grow until it consumes the entire Internet. In fact, some of the issues should begin taking effect in... oh, I'd say right about now."
And with that, the echoes of his voice dissipate. A strong wind begins to blow. Storm clouds loom over the horizon, lightning striking the now-misshapen bushes. The freshly-trimmed blades of grass transform into blocky pixels. You have to save the Internet — but how can you do that when you're inside it?
Obvious exits:
You run over to Strong Bad and Homestar next to the "come on in" ribbon. You've seen this page plenty of times in the past three months, but you never imagined you'd actually be here. Of course, considering what happened at this time last year, it's not too unbelievable.
Obvious exits: Actions:
"Homestar?"
"Oh, hey, you look like one o' them humans I keep hearing about! Shouldn't you be out doing taxes, or running errands, or whatever it is that real-type people do?"
"Yeah, probably. Homeschool Winner brought me here, and I have to get out before the Internet gets destroyed. Oh, and save it, if possible."
"I don't know too much about internets, but have you tried refreshing your cache? Paying me some cash? Paying me some cash?"
"Maybe I'll ask someone else."
Obvious exits: Actions:
"Strong Bad—"
"Psst. Shut up," he speaks from the side of his mouth, "I'm not supposed to talk during index page hours."
"What hours are those?"
"Oh, all of them. It's a rough job."
"Yeah, I always wondered how you were able to stand still for so long. So, wanna help me save the Internet?"
"Naw, man. The Internet is a place for nerds and weirdos to do absolutely nothing productive."
"You're on the Internet. Doesn't this concern you?"
"Hey, Flash died, and I'm still here, aren't I? I'm sure Bubs'll figure something out. He'll put our cartoons on, like, floppy disks that you can insert into your brain or whatever. The future of entertainment, I'm sure."
Obvious exits: Actions:
You tap the ribbon in an attempt to enter the website, but... the ribbon glitches and disappears. Great, the virus is already causing problems.
Actions:
You wait. Eventually, Strong Sad peeks in from the side of the screen.
Obvious exits: Actions:
You wait longer. After a while, Pom Pom peeks in.
Obvious exits: Actions:
You wait even longer. After a few minutes, Homsar appears.
Obvious exits: Actions:
You wait even more longer. But... Homsar doesn't leave. He's still there. You think maybe he has something to say?
Obvious exits: Actions:
You don't have a mouse handy, so you poke Homsar with your finger to see what happens. He spouts a random line, as usual: "I have the solution to the perfect cranberry sauce!"
Wait. Is that what he usually says on this page? Maybe he's trying to say something. You respond, "What is the solution?"
"DaAaAa, Give me a call next time you assemble your artifacts!"
That's right, the artifacts. In SBCG4AP, you need to gather the four Homsartifacts so you can understand him. "Where are the artifacts?"
"Eggs are ripe this season! Don't forget to meet me four times!"
Eggs... interesting. Where can you find eggs on this website?
Obvious exits:
You tap the ribbon in an attempt to enter the website, but the ribbon glitches and disappears. That is, until Homsar begins wailing. Homsar must be able to reverse the effects of the virus! You click the ribbon and come on in.
You arrive on Main Page 18. The navigation buttons are on the left, the updates button is in the corner up there, and it says "copyright 2021" at the bottom.
Obvious exits:
You tap the button, and when the page loads... it doesn't. The page is gone. Perhaps Homsar can reverse this somehow, but until then, you'll have to find "eggs" somewhere else.
Obvious exits:
You arrive on Main Page 10. The navigation buttons are on the left, the updates button is in the corner up there, and it says "copyright 2021" at the bottom.
Obvious exits: (Hint?)
You can't access any of the menus... but you can access Easter eggs. Some Easter eggs might not be obvious.
You find yourself on the Homsar Main Page.
"Congratulations, Jeffrey! You've earned the gravy ward!" he proclaims, as he hands you the first Homsartifact.
Hey, you did it! Just three more Easter eggs to go. With this Homsartifact, maybe you'll be able to reverse the effects of the virus and access some more menus!
Obvious exits:
You return to the Homsar Main Page. You have collected one Homsartifact so far, but three Easter eggs remain to be found.
Obvious exits:
The page loads, and... the menu is blank. Well, it looks like the first Homsartifact helped negate the effects of the virus a little bit, but you'll probably need to collect more before this page is of any use to you.
Obvious exits:
You enter the games menu. It looks real cool from the inside, but there don't appear to be any Easter eggs here.
Obvious exits:
You enter the store page. You don't need to buy anything right now.
Obvious exits:
You enter the contact page. You consider writing an email to inform someone that you're trapped in the Internet which is in imminent danger, but then you remember that there's no longer an email link on this page.
Obvious exits:
You enter the characters page. The stack of character videos is there (although a good number of them have vanished and glitched thanks to the virus). The VCR has buttons like "Power" and "Eject".
Character videos: Obvious exits:
"Hey look, a visitor! No one's clicked on my character videro in at least tree years!"
"Sorry about that. Well, I'd best be going now. I've got an Internet to save."
"But you just got here! Stay a while. I can tell you the stories of my favorite bunions!"
Obvious exits:
"Whattaya want?" says The Cheat in his subtitles.
"Nothing. Uh, nice to meet you."
"I'm sure it is."
Obvious exits:
"Oh, hi Strong Bad."
"What are you doing in my character video, man?"
"I dunno, saying hi."
"Yeah, well you can go say hi somewhere else. I got a bag of money to attend to. And, um, a Homestar-strangling snake to take care of."
"Those are clearly cardboard."
"You're clearly cardboard."
Obvious exits:
"Hey there, every peoples!"
"Um, it's just me."
"Oh, okay. Hey there, one people!"
Obvious exits:
"I'M STRONG MAD!" he shouts.
"I'm aware. I've seen your website."
"I'M A WEBSITE?"
"Well, Homestar's website."
"HOMESTAR'S A WEBSITE?"
Obvious exits:
Ew.
Obvious exits:
Ah, another Easter egg! You click "Eject" and...
That's weird. Shouldn't Homsar's character video be popping up? Must be the virus's fault. You should probably get someone to help.
Character videos: Obvious exits:
"Hey, I'm having some VCR problems," you say.
"Can't get it to eat its sauerkraut? Yeah, VCRs can be picky sometimes. Ya just gotta shove it in there, ya know..."
"Um, have you been feeding the VCR sauerkraut?"
"I will neither confirm nor deny that statement."
Obvious exits:
"The Cheat? I can't the VCR to work."
"What do you want me to do, tape myself to it?" he says in subtitles. "Figure it out yourself."
Obvious exits:
"Hey, Strong Bad. You know how VCRs work?"
"Yeah, you got the tape and it has tape inside of it... and if the thing's broken, tape it together with some tape."
"I don't have any tape."
"Oh. Well, I'm out of ideas."
Obvious exits:
"Hey there, every peoples!"
"Hi, Bubs. The virus has stopped the VCR from ejecting the tape. Can you help?"
"Most certainly! I've stopped a virus and got my CGNU degree in TV/VCR Repair! Just show me where the problem is."
Obvious exits:
"Hey, Strong Mad. You know anything about fixing VCRs?"
"HAVE YOU TRIED EJECTING THE TAPE?"
"That's what I'm trying to do, actually."
"ASK CONCESSION MAN."
Obvious exits:
"Poopsmith?" you say, struggling to breathe. "You... fix... VCR?"
He holds up a sign. "I don't know much about VCRs, but Bubs can probably help."
"Did you just have that sign next to you?"
He holds up another sign. "Yep."
"What's 31+47?"
"78," his sign says.
"That's impressive."
Obvious exits:
"Ah, there's the problem!" Bubs remarks, "It wasn't the virus at all. Someone shoved some sauerkraut into the VCR."
Bubs cleans out the VCR and presses Eject, and lo and behold, Homsar's tape comes out!
Character videos: Obvious exits:
"Hi, Wonder Mike!" Homsar exclaims.
"Actually, my name is—" you interject, "You know what, it doesn't matter. Do you have a Homsartifact?"
"As a masterful fax, I've carried this the long way from the beanstalk!"
Congratulations, you've gathered half of the Homsartifacts! That will probably allow you to visit more of the site's menus.
Obvious exits:
You return to the Homsar Main Page to search for the remaining two Easter eggs. Where could they be?
Obvious exits:
The page loads, and... the menu is blank. I guess you'll need more Homsartifacts to reverse the effects of the virus here. (This is a pretty weird game, isn't it?)
Obvious exits:
You enter the games menu. It looks real cool from the inside, but there don't appear to be any Easter eggs here. It also seems a bit glitchier than usual — the virus seems to be causing problems already.
Obvious exits:
You enter the store page. You don't need to buy anything right now.
Obvious exits:
You enter the contact page. You consider writing an email to inform someone that you're trapped in the Internet which is in imminent danger, but then you remember that there's no longer an email link on this page.
Obvious exits:
You've already been here! There's nothing else to do.
Obvious exits:
Ye find yeself at yon ATM. What wouldst thou deau?
Buttons: Obvious exits:
Hey look, there's some downloadable quote packs. That's all.
Buttons: Obvious exits:
You click the blinking red "NEW!" button that's been there for 17 years. There are some wallpapers, OSX icons, AIM Buddy icons... yep, totally new.
Buttons: Obvious exits:
It's a list of the songs from like... 2003 and earlier.
Buttons: Obvious exits:
It just says "Current Balance is 0.00 Dollars."
Buttons: Obvious exits:
You click the number and a credit card pops up. What do you want to do with it?
Obvious exits:
Where do you want to click it?
Obvious exits:
You tap on the corner of the card. It does nothing. Now what?
Obvious exits:
You tap on the middle of the card. It does nothing. Now what?
Obvious exits:
You tap on the corner of the card, and it flips over to reveal the PIN: 5675. Now what?
Obvious exits:
You click and drag the card into the card-inserting thing. Now what?
Buttons: Obvious exits:
Clicking the numbers does nothing.
Buttons: Obvious exits:
What number?
Buttons: Obvious exits:
It says "Wrong Pin#!! I bet you stole this card!"
Buttons: Obvious exits:
What number?
Buttons: Obvious exits:
What number?
Buttons: Obvious exits:
What number?
Buttons: Obvious exits:
You unlocked the Homsar Quotes Pack! Which one do you want to download?
Quotes: Obvious exits:
You click the quote and nothing happens. This is a Homsar-themed Easter egg, so surely one of these must lead to a Homsartifact, right?
Quotes: Obvious exits:
You don't remember that quote from anywhere... what could it mean? You click the quote out of curiosity and out of the ATM comes the third Homsartifact! This means you can probably access all the site's menus now.
Obvious exits:
You return to the Homsar Main Page. There is one Easter egg remaining, and time is running short. The virus is already causing the buttons to glitch.
Obvious exits:
You return to the Homsar Main Page, accidentally dropping your eggplant in the process. There is one Easter egg remaining, and time is running short. The virus is already causing the buttons to glitch.
Obvious exits:
You enter the games menu. The ships are glitching, turning into random objects, and flying into each other. You have to act fast before the same happens to the entire Internet.
Obvious exits:
You enter the store page. Everything is pixelated and the words are all scrambled. The virus is getting worse.
Obvious exits:
You enter the contact page. The envelopes are tearing themselves up, and the mailbox in the background is glitching.
Obvious exits:
You've already been here! There's nothing else to do except watch the VHS tapes fly around and turn into pixelated ducks.
Obvious exits:
You already found an Easter egg here. And in the time since then, the ATM screen has started to malfunction. The virus must be stopped.
Obvious exits:
The virus is growing stronger. The page finally loads thanks to the three Homsartifacts, but it's not nearly enough to reverse the effects completely. The page is riddled with glitches: the TeeBee is broken, the top-left corner of the TV guide is miscolored, the remote is gone, and most of the toons are missing. And because there's no remote, you're stuck on the Holiday section. Let's hope there's an Easter egg there.
Toons: Obvious exits:
Hey, an Easter egg! You click the top-left corner of the TV guide to turn the page and... oh right, Homsar's not on the cover, so I guess that one doesn't count. The last Easter egg must be in a toon somewhere.
Obvious exits:
This one is just an embedded YouTube video, so no Easter eggs to be found here.
Obvious exits:
Hey, a Halloween toon! That's a great place to find a Homsar-themed Easter egg... but unfortunately, his appearance in this one is outside of an Easter egg.
Obvious exits:
This toon is a great place to search for eggs of the Easter variety. No Easter eggs, though.
Obvious exits:
You click on the toon and it takes you to Strong Bad's computer screen. Unfortunately, the virus has caused the screen to malfunction, so you can't watch any of the toons. Just a candy cane and some lights.
Obvious exits:
You click on the candy cane and it changes color. Not a Homsar-related Easter egg, but it's kinda fun.
Obvious exits:
You click on the green light and nothing happens. Ruffle — er, the virus — doesn't support video.
Obvious exits:
Ooh, a Halloween toon! That's a great place to find a Homsar-themed Easter egg. There's just one problem — Homsar isn't actually in this one.
Obvious exits:
There's definitely a Homsar Easter egg in this one... Unfortunately, you can't seem to access it, as the virus is stopping the toon from playing.
While the toon is paused, you take the time to look around at all the pumpkins. The King of Town's smells delicious, the Poopsmith's much less so. Strong Bad's barbed wire looks even sharper in person, and Pom Pom's is defying the laws of gravity as always.
Obvious exits:
You hesitantly reach over and poke the Poopsmith's pumpkin. The Easter egg doesn't play, but Homsar's pumpkin still appears — an eggplant with a spoon taped to it. You stuff it into your inventory, because you apparently have one of those now.
Obvious exits: Inventory:
There's nothing to do with it here.
Obvious exits:
The virus is growing stronger. The page finally loads thanks to the three Homsartifacts, but it's not nearly enough to reverse the effects completely. The page is riddled with glitches: the TeeBee is broken, the top-left corner of the TV guide is miscolored, the remote is gone, and most of the toons are missing. And because there's no remote, you're stuck on the Holiday section. Let's hope there's an Easter egg there.
Toons: Obvious exits: Inventory:
Hey, an Easter egg! You click the top-left corner of the TV guide to turn the page and... oh right, Homsar's not on the cover, so I guess that one doesn't count. The last Easter egg must be in a toon somewhere.
Obvious exits: Inventory:
This one is just an embedded YouTube video, so no Easter eggs to be found here.
Obvious exits: Inventory:
Hey, a Halloween toon! That's a great place to find a Homsar-themed Easter egg... but unfortunately, he appears automatically in this one, so no Easter egg.
Obvious exits: Inventory:
This toon is a great place to search for eggs of the Easter variety. No Easter eggs, though.
Obvious exits: Inventory:
You click on the toon and it takes you to Strong Bad's computer screen. Unfortunately, the virus has caused the screen to malfunction, so you can't watch any of the toons. Just a candy cane and some lights.
Obvious exits: Inventory:
You click on the candy cane and it changes color. Not a Homsar-related Easter egg, but it's kinda fun.
Obvious exits: Inventory:
You click on the green light and nothing happens. Ruffle — er, the virus — doesn't support video.
Obvious exits: Inventory:
Ooh, a Halloween toon! That's a great place to find a Homsar-themed Easter egg. There's just one problem — Homsar isn't actually in this one.
Obvious exits: Inventory:
The toon still isn't playing. You still have the eggplant, so maybe you can use it to activate that Easter egg somewhere else...
Obvious exits: Inventory:
You watch the toon until Coach Z shows up at your door. What do you give him?
Obvious exits:
You give Coach Z some food and he says some words. (What, you thought you were going to get unique text for every option? What kind of time do you think I have?)
Next, the King of Town ringeth yonder doorbell. What wouldst thou bestowest upon him?
Obvious exits:
Strong Mad and The Cheat. You know the deal.
Obvious exits:
Good choice. Now what'll you give Marzipan?
Obvious exits:
The Poopsmith and Pom Pom show up with a pumpkin. What do they get?
Obvious exits:
You give them the thing, but then theconvenient plot devicevirus makes everything glitchy. Looks as though you have no choice but to return to the menu. Obvious exits:
Hey, there's the Easter egg! You offer them the pumpkin, but as soon as you touch it, the virus transforms it into a spoon-taped eggplant.
"That's not how the Easter egg is supposed to go," says the Poopsmith's sign as he and Pom Pom walk away.
Obvious exits:
You watch the toon until Coach Z shows up at your door. What do you give him?
Obvious exits: Inventory:
You give Coach Z some food and he says some words. (What, you thought you were going to get unique text for every option? What kind of time do you think I have?)
Next, the King of Town ringeth yonder doorbell. What wouldst thou bestowest upon him?
Obvious exits: Inventory:
Strong Mad and The Cheat. You know the deal.
Obvious exits: Inventory:
Good choice. Now what'll you give Marzipan?
Obvious exits: Inventory:
The Poopsmith and Pom Pom show up with a pumpkin. What do they get?
Obvious exits: Inventory:
You give them the thing, but then theconvenient plot devicevirus makes everything glitchy. Looks as though you have no choice but to return to the menu.
Obvious exits: Inventory:
Hey, there's the Easter egg! You offer them the pumpkin, but as soon as you touch it, the virus transforms it into a spoon-taped eggplant — the same one you have in your inventory.
"That's not how the Easter egg is supposed to go," says the Poopsmith's sign as he and Pom Pom walk away.
If the virus transforms a pumpkin into an eggplant... I wonder if it'll work the other way around?
Obvious exits: Inventory:
You offer them the eggplant, and the virus transforms it into a pumpkin. The Poopsmith puts it in his mouth, and the door slams closed. The next visitor is Homsar, who hands you the final artifact.
"Congratulations on assembling the four Homsartifacts. You can now understand the ancient Homsarian dialect," he says.
"That's pretty cool. Now, can you tell me how to save the Internet?"
"Sure, why not. Do you remember Mecha-Trogador, the final boss of Stinkoman 20X6?"
"Oh yeah, I remember him. He put up a tough fight."
"There is a reason this boss was so difficult — he is the embodiment of Flash. Do you think it's any coincidence that Flash died mere days after Mecha-Trogador was destroyed?"
"I never thought of that."
"Likewise, Ruffle has now assumed a robotic form. Mecha Trogador 2.0. Within this metallic beast the virus dwells, and if it is not stopped, Mecha-Trogador will burninate the entire Internet."
"So I need to beat Mecha-Trogador 2.0 to stop the virus?"
"Indeed. I fear Homeschool has learned from his past mistakes... his last virus was located in a computer and destroyed by a simple shotgun, but Mecha-Trogador can't be destroyed nearly as easily."
"I'll try my best," you say with hesitation.
Obvious exits:
You return to the Homsar Main Page with all of the Homsartifacts. Now go, and destroy Mecha-Trogador!
Obvious exits:
That's not where Mecha-Trogador is.
Obvious exits:
You enter Stinkoman 20X6 and select the tenth level. Hearing that climactic soundtrack fills you with determination. However, because you aren't as strong as Stinkoman, you have no extra lives and only two energy. But you can still shoot for some reason.
A bunch of Denholms are marching toward you. What you do?
Energy: 2
Actions:
You restart the level, and bunch of Denholms march toward you. What you do?
Energy: 2
Actions:
You try to jump over them — emphasis on "try", because you bump into them and take damage. You then run toward a ladder. Do you keep running to the right, or go up the ladder?
Energy: 1
Actions:
You shoot 'em up Dan, then run toward a ladder. Do you keep running to the right, or go up the ladder?
Energy: 2
Actions:
You find a capsule. You don't need it right now since you have full energy. There's also a timed platform that's just out of reach... or is it?
Energy: 2
Actions:
You find and collect a capsule, refilling your energy. There's also a timed platform that's just out of reach... or is it?
Energy: 2
Actions:
You jump, but can't reach the platform. The collapsing skull crumbles beneath you, sending you down to the platform below. Ouch. -1 energy.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You jump, but can't reach the platform. The collapsing skull crumbles beneath you, sending you down to the platform below. Ouch. You dead.
You try again, and fall again, and die.
You climb that ladder, then another ladder, and finally reach a ledge with enemies directly below you. What you does?
Energy: 2
Actions:
You climb that ladder, then another ladder, and finally reach a ledge with enemies directly below you. What you does?
Energy: 1
Actions:
You wait.
Energy: 2
Actions:
You wait more.
Energy: 2
Actions:
You wait.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You wait more.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You jump down and land on the enemies and take one damage.
You know, platforming isn't nearly as fun in text form. Let's just skip to the end boss.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You jump down and land on the enemies and take one damage. You dead.
You jump down and avoid landing on the enemies.
You know, platforming isn't nearly as fun in text form. Let's just skip to the end boss.
Energy: 2
Actions:
You jump down and avoid landing on the enemies.
You know, platforming isn't nearly as fun in text form. Let's just skip to the end boss.
Energy: 1
Actions:
There he is! There are two moving platforms here, both pretty far away.
Energy: 2
Actions:
There he is! There are two moving platforms here, both pretty far away.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You jump up, but don't quite make it. Trogador fires a toe claw at you.
Energy: 2
Actions:
You jump up, but don't quite make it. Trogador fires a toe claw at you.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You jump over the claw. The platforms move down as Trogador prepares a devastating punch.
Energy: 2
Actions:
You jump over the claw. The platforms move down as Trogador prepares a devastating punch.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You run away in vain, as you are struck down by the toenail. The platforms move down as Trogador prepares a devastating punch.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You run away in vain, as you are struck down by the toenail. You dead.
You try to run away, but you aren't fast enough. Trogador hits you with the ol' puncha puncha puncha, and the platforms move up again.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You try to run away, but you aren't fast enough. Trogador hits you with the ol' puncha puncha puncha. You dead.
You wait as the platforms move down. Trogador fires a toe claw at you. Get out of the way!
Energy: 2
Actions:
You wait as the platforms move down. Trogador fires a toe claw at you. Get out of the way!
Energy: 1
Actions:
You jump onto the platform, dodging the attack. The platform you're on is about to disappear, and the other platform is just out of reach.
Energy: 2
Actions:
You jump onto the platform, dodging the attack. The platform you're on is about to disappear, and the other platform is just out of reach.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You jump to the next platform... and fall to the ground, where you are hit by a toenail projectile.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You jump to the next platform... and fall to the ground, where you are hit by a toenail projectile. You dead.
You wait a bit. The other platform seems a bit closer now.
Energy: 2
Actions:
You wait a bit. The other platform seems a bit closer now.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You wait until the platform beneath your feet disappears, sending you plummeting down onto a toenail. Ouch.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You wait until the platform beneath your feet disappears, sending you plummeting down onto a toenail. You dead.
You jump onto the next platform as Trogador prepares for burnination.
Energy: 2
Actions:
You jump onto the next platform as Trogador prepares for burnination.
Energy: 1
Actions:
He burninates the ground. It doesn't hurt you, but since his eyes are closed, your shooting has no effect.
Energy: 2
Actions:
He burninates the ground. It doesn't hurt you, but since his eyes are closed, your shooting has no effect.
Energy: 1
Actions:
He burninates the ground. It doesn't hurt you, since you're on a platform.
Energy: 2
Actions:
He burninates the ground. It doesn't hurt you, since you're on a platform.
Energy: 1
Actions:
You shoot him a whole bunch of times. The platform disappears, sending you to the ground.
You know what, this isn't any fun either. I wish we could skip ahead again, but we have to beat this boss to save the Internet.
"Perhaps I can help," speaks a familiar voice. Another Mecha-Trogador emerges from the shadows, and Homsar steps out of the machine.
"I retrieved the original Mecha-Trogador from the rubble of the old Flash site. It's yours now," Homsar says.
"So I get to take control of a dragon robot to fight another dragon robot? This is a pretty neat userpage," you remark as you step inside the robot.
"Fighting fire with fire, are we? It's a good thing I've got some fire of my own," speaks a different familiar voice. Homeschool Winner walks in, and steps inside the other robot. "You burninated me last year. Consider this payback."
You are in control of the original Mecha-Trogador whilst fighting Mecha-Trogador 2.0. What do you do first?
Actions:
You burninate, but since the robot's head is aimed downward, you end up setting fire to the ground in front of you. This achieves nothing.
Actions:
You punch, but Trogador 2.0 dodges.
Actions:
You make Trogador flap his wingalings and lift off the ground for a moment. This achieves nothing.
Actions:
You dodge nothing. Trogador 2.0 hasn't attacked yet.
Actions:
You try again, and punch Trogador 2.0 in the robot face before he has a chance to dodge. Now Trogador 2.0 seems to be preparing a punch of his own.
Actions:
You burninate, but since the robot's head is aimed downward, you end up setting fire to the ground in front of you, accomplishing nothing. While you're distracted, Trogador 2.0 punches your robot in the face, destroying it.
You try to punch, but Trogador 2.0 punches first, destroying your robot.
Actions:
You make Trogador flap his wingalings and lift off the ground for a moment. You can't fly high enough to escape the devastating punch of Trogador 2.0, destroying your robot.
Actions:
You dodge the punch in slow motion to great dramatic effect. Now Trogador 2.0 is flying up, and his burnination meter is increasing.
Actions:
Since the robot's head is aimed downward, you end up burninating the ground. This accomplishes nothing, as Trogador 2.0 is flying far above the ground. He burninates you.
You move the robot's beefy arm up, but can't quite reach the flying Trogador 2.0. As you flail helplessly, he burninates you.
You fly up toward the other Trogador. He burninates down toward the ground, but it doesn't affect you since you're no longer down there. Then he lands back down.
Actions:
Trogador 2.0 burninates you. You ever tried to dodge burnination? It's not easy.
You burninate down toward the ground, damaging Trogador 2.0. Unable to flap your wingalings any longer, you land in front of him.
Actions:
You punch nothing in particular. Unable to flap your wingalings any longer, you land on the ground where Trogador 2.0 punches and destroys your robot.
You land on the ground, where Trogador 2.0 punches and destroys your robot.
You dodge nothing in particular. Unable to flap your wingalings any longer, you land on the ground where Trogador 2.0 punches and destroys your robot.
You burninate, but since the robot's head is aimed downward, you end up setting fire to the ground in front of you. This achieves nothing.
Actions:
You punch, but Trogador 2.0 ducks down. Your robot's beefy arm can't reach that far down.
Actions:
You make Trogador flap his wingalings and lift off the ground for a moment. This achieves nothing.
Actions:
You dodge nothing. Trogador 2.0 hasn't attacked yet.
Actions:
You burninate Mecha-Trogador 2.0. He gets back up and punches your robot, destroying it.
"Fool. Did you really think you could save your precious Internet?" Homeschool taunts. "The hour has grown too late. In mere seconds, all webpages will crumble and fall, and you with it. Not even your precious Easter eggs can help you now."
Before you can find any helpful Easter eggs, the room begins to collapse under the virus's influence. In your last moments, you reflect on your life and your regrets, your successes and failures, all the things that you wish you could've done... but alas, you cannot do anything anymore. You dead. Thanks for playing.
Before the virus consumes everything, you reach out and find... could it be? Yes, an Easter egg! You click it and time rewinds for a few seconds... only this time, you see something out of the corner of your eye. Something that wasn't there before.
"Fool. Did you really think you could save your precious Internet?" Homeschool repeats his line.
"Not really... but then again, I don't have to," you reply as Bubs strolls in, holding Homestar's leg.
Bubs garbles some nonsense with his broken JPEG mouth, and shoots Mecha-Trogador 2.0. The robot roars, its body opening up to reveal several floppy disks in place of crystal shards.
"No... my virus!" Homeschool screams as you grab the disks, throw them to the ground, and step on them. Bubs shoots them for good measure. And with that, the Internet begins to return to normalcy. Free of the virus's influence, Mecha-Trogador 2.0 looks at Homeschool Winner...
"Oh, no. Please, not this again," Homeschool pleads, but it's no use. He is burninated, just like last year.
"Just you wait," his voice echoes across the Internet as he disappears, "I'll be back for Thy Wikiuser 3!"
Joke's on him, though. I won't be making a Thy Wikiuser 3.
Retrieved from "http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/User:Gfdgsgxgzgdrc"
