Soap Box Doiby

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THIS EMAIL IS TOTALLY FAKE AND GAY. FALSE ADVERTISING.

Contents

Released: Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Character key (in order of appearance):

Draft

Soap Box Doiby Cartoon

anncr: are you kidding me? it's the big soap box doiby downhill challenge!!
(credits)
anncr: welcome back. joining me today is that ____, that mound of shit, the king of town!

kot: thank you, walter. i must say, i'm very excited to eat some shit today.

anncr: yes, yes. not my name and not what we're doing here. and here come our racers now!

(cut to racers: bubs, cz, team strong, homestar and pom pom)

hs: ok pom pom i got it. our team will be called 'the awesome doing homestars.' that makes sense, doesn't it? Heavy: NO! hs: and thanks for letting me be the driver. you can be my pit crew, or maybe my adoring fans.(brief pause) hey there sport, you need an autograph?

(he starts to sign pom pom)

pp: bubble de dubble Dubble Bubble.

hs: what?! you built your own racer and you don't want my autograph! that sickens me. if i didn't have an iron tummy i'd prob'ly be dead. (cuts to Waylon Smithers shooting Mr. Burns) pfff! is that your racer? looks like a cow's stomach. good luck trying to win in that...

pp: [fake Italian accent] a-bibbiti boop-ti? a-blah blah blah blah blah blah-bla!

hs: oh, that's mine. so, where's yours?(pan over to pom-pom's kick-assing racer) damn! all characters: [ala Stick Figures on Crack] DAAAAMN! hs: that looks like several very smart asses built it. but LOOKS only count in horse shit and ham parades, right homestar? right!

(homestar walks off. we follow him. he walks past the brothers strong and we stay with them)

sb: are you ready?

Heavy: NO!

sb: i mean are you RRRRRRREADY??!!

Heavy: YES! IT IS GOOD DAY TO BE GIANT MAN!

sb: c'mon double s. get pumped. we're doing this race together. together for heather.

Heavy: I AM VERY HAPPY! GOOD TIMES!

sb: i dunno. it doesn't matter. we're a family and we're gonna all pile on this cookie sheet and go careening down this hill at breakneck speed like only guys that once shared a bathtub can.

sm: you creepin me out!!

ss: yeah, you creepin me out too.

sb: i'm trying to keep this family together! this doiby is what being a family is all about! together for heather!

ss: who's...

sb: FUCK IT! [puts sunglasses on; speeds off in boat with "Won't Get Fooled Again" by The Who playing]

(cut to cz in his locker-racer)

cz(talking offscreen): if i could only find a way to power this thing with b.o.y.s, then i think i'd be a force to be reckoned with. know what I'm sayin'?

(pan over to bubs. he is in the gremlin)

bubs: i'd feel a lot better if i could've found a gas station around here. and a front left tire. (the cheat(or maybe the goblin) is holding up the front left of the gremlin.)

back to anouncer <- you spelled it incorrect LOL

anncr: this year's field is one of the deepest in recent years, wouldn't you agree?

Heavy: NO! HEAVY IS DEEP!

(fat bluebird squawks)

anncr: and they're off! homestar and pom pom jump out in the lead positions.

hs: you're going down fat ass. pom pom: I'm not fat, I'm big boned! hs: (he shakes a box of thumbtacks, showing pom pom) and if you think i'm gonna share my afterschool snack, you're dead.

cut to the brothers strong. strong sad is laying down on the skateboard and strong bad and strong mad are piled on top.

ss: why are we just sittin hernwhaga ehhhm just sittin glahwhahwaglaahhh what they're doin?? what happened to [shows poster for "Speed"] speed?

sb: I duhknow.

ss: ooooohhh! my spine!!!

sb: they don't call it breakneck speed for everythin'!

(footage, wideshots, silhouette shots of the race. overtop of that the announcer talks)

anncr: holy shit! this is sporting drama at its finest! (fi-NEST)

kot: Fallallawawa we had him Dunn whatchoo doin?

(cut to the king of town who has, of course, eaten himself into a wheel of cheese)

kot: I feedya then yer stupid nitrous oxen oxide ruins everythin'!

Bam Margera: Go somewhere and be fat! [laughs]

Fun Facts

Snuffy will wake you up to death, Cedric!

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