Squintmojis

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 16:31, 28 August 2017

"Guaranteed to give you the slightest impression of a Homestar Runner character!"

Squintmojis are here! See which Homestar Runner characters you can barely recognize on your favorite mobile device!

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner

Places: The Field

Date: Monday, August 28, 2017

Running Time: 4:41 (official), 1:11 (YouTube)

Page Title: Slightest Impression Guaranteed!

Transcript

STRONG BAD: Are you tired of people using {Strong Bad gestures and -moji appears in shiny black letters} -moji as a legitimate suffix?

{"Neith" pops up above the -moji in sharp red letters, and "are we" and a second -moji appears below as Strong Bad speaks}

STRONG BAD: Neith-moji are we -moji!

{Cut to a white background with animated blue tiles. Homestar Runner and Strong Bad float in onto the screen}

STRONG BAD: Introducing new Homestar Runner {the label appears} SQUINTmojis!

{Homestar and Strong Bad are converted into an amalgam of emoji signs. Homestar is a bathtub, sired and pair of dishes with blue stripes. Strong Bad is a red car, Do Not Enter Sign, boxing glove, table tennis paddle, and musical notes.}

STRONG BAD: Guaranteed to give you the {pan slowly across the two emoji figures as Homestar and Strong Bad flash on top of them for comparison} the slightest impression of a Homestar Runner character!

{Cut to a yellow tiled background. A smartphone appears with a blue What'sApp balloon reading "Hey bro, Wich <sic> is one sez 'jorb'?"}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Simply type them in...

{A series of emojis appears consisting of a magnifying glass, a green lizard, a half-chopped cucumber, a green battery, another lizard and a turtle is entered on the lower talk balloon.}

{Cut to Homestar's head. The word "SQUINT" appears squished as Homestar squints his eyes}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} ...and squint those eyes up!

{Cut to a comparison shot. The emoji is labelled "ORIGINAL", divided by a line next to the actual Coach Z labelled "SQUINTMO'". Above reads "0% SQUINTIFICATION"}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} More...

{Squintification turns up to 10%. The image becomes blurrier}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, more anticipatory} More...

{Squintification turns up to 25%. The image becomes much blurrier}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, angrily} More!

{The scene shakes and blurs to 75%. Both images are barely visible}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, laughing} There we go!

{A rubber stamp with the word "INDISTINGUISHABLE!" is stamped on}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Indistinguishable!

{Cut to Homestar in the field. His propeller cap is on backwards and his eyes look saggy and tired. The corner reads "Actual Talk-Say"}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {mumbling} I this one time I was hanging out with this kid, {pulls out a smartphone with a chicken head, siren and two dishes resembling Homestar} and he got a Squintmoji. And I was like, {pulls it away and squints very hard} and that's Homestar Runner.

{He moves the phone further and squints harder. Homestar puts down the phone and smiles.}

GENERIC ANNOUNCER: That's a great story!

{Homestar's hat spins around on his head.}

{Cut to another white tiled background. Hoemstar, Strong Bad, The Cheat, the King of Town and Strong Sad appear and are brought up to size}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} New Homestar Runner {the label appears} Squintmojis!

{The "squint" part is squeezed as the five figures transform into figures comprised of emojis. Text appears as an announcer speaks.}

GENERIC ANNOUNCER: "Oh jeez, squintmojis!"

{The scene briefly goes dark and blurry in a squint, then back to normal.

GENERIC ANNOUNCER: Suh-somebody's already used that, right? {the music cuts out} We should check into that. Get Lawrence. Is he- is he still on the payroll? Lawrence?

Easter Eggs

• Click on the Homestar squintmoji for an extra scene.

{Squintmoji Homestar is running through The Field as "Everybody! Everybody!" plays in the background. He encounters a Squintmoji Marzipan and stops abruptly.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ah! Moji-pan!

Fun Facts

Trivia

Remarks

Goofs

Inside References

• At the end, the The Cheat Squintmoji is partially constructed of a cheese, which The Cheat was previously compared to in huttah!.

Real-World References

YouTube Version

External Links

• watch "Squintmojis" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "Squintmojis"
• watch "Squintmojis" on YouTube