Subtitles:sbemail206/en

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These are the English subtitles for sbemail206. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail206.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="21" end="45" speaker="strongbad">Emails are like Hot Pockets,</line>
  <line start="45" end="77" speaker="strongbad">They're full of garbage and cheese.</line>
  <line start="86" end="90" speaker="strongbad">"Dear <span style="visibility:hidden">Strong Bad, when are you gonna dust off the Compé and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="90" end="98" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong <span style="visibility:hidden">Bad, when are you gonna dust off the Compé and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="98" end="105" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, <span style="visibility:hidden">when are you gonna dust off the Compé and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="105" end="110" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when <span style="visibility:hidden">are you gonna dust off the Compé and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="110" end="114" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are <span style="visibility:hidden">you gonna dust off the Compé and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="114" end="120" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are you <span style="visibility:hidden">gonna dust off the Compé and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="120" end="125" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are you gonna <span style="visibility:hidden">dust off the Compé and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="125" end="130" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are you gonna dust <span style="visibility:hidden">off the Compé and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="130" end="136" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are you gonna dust off <span style="visibility:hidden">the Compé and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="136" end="140" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are you gonna dust off the <span style="visibility:hidden">Compé and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="140" end="148" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are you gonna dust off the Compé <span style="visibility:hidden">and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="148" end="153" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are you gonna dust off the Compé and <span style="visibility:hidden">answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="153" end="160" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are you gonna dust off the Compé and answer <span style="visibility:hidden">an email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="160" end="166" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are you gonna dust off the Compé and answer an <span style="visibility:hidden">email? Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="166" end="176" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are you gonna dust off the Compé and answer an email? <span style="visibility:hidden">Matt Massapequa"</span></line>
  <line start="176" end="200" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad, when are you gonna dust off the Compé and answer an email? Matt Massapequa"</line>
  <line start="200" end="252" speaker="strongbad">Wait a minute, have I not always checked my email on kitchen appliances?!</line>
  <line start="257" end="281"><strongbad>"Dear Strong Bad…"</strongbad></line>
  <line start="281" end="296"><strongbad>"Dear Strong Bad…"</strongbad><strongbad>"Dear Strong Bad…"</strongbad></line>
  <line start="296" end="313"><strongbad>"Dear Strong Bad…"</strongbad><strongbad>"Dear Strong Bad…"</strongbad><strongbad>"Dear crushed ice…"</strongbad></line>
  <line start="313" end="328"><strongbad>"Dear Strong Bad…"</strongbad><strongbad>"Dear Strong Bad…"</strongbad><strongbad>"Dear crushed ice…"</strongbad><strongbad>"Dear Strong Bad…"</strongbad></line>
  <line start="328" end="367" speaker="strongbad">Oh, yeah! Computers!</line>
  <line start="367" end="398" speaker="strongbad">Let's go see how that old Compé is doing!</line>
  <line start="405" end="457" speaker="strongbad">…Ooh. That is… that is some dust.</line>
  <line start="457" end="486" speaker="strongbad">Well, I'd best get to blowin'!</line>
  <line start="486" end="540" speaker="strongbad">I said a-FWWWWWWWWWWWW…</line>
  <line start="550" end="560" speaker="strongbad">Whoa!</line>
  <line start="560" end="620" speaker="strongbad">All that dust compressed my old computer into a newer, even better computer!</line>
  <line start="620" end="644" speaker="strongbad">Like coal to a diamond!</line>
  <line start="644" end="692" speaker="strongbad">Ah, Compé, we hardly knew yé.</line>
  <line start="692" end="704" speaker="strongbad">Whup!</line>
  <line start="704" end="733" speaker="sfx">Startup music</line>
  <line start="733" end="753"><sfx>Startup music</sfx><strongbad>The Lappier.</strongbad></line>
  <line start="753" end="795" speaker="strongbad">Just like the previous model, only crappier.</line>
  <line start="795" end="817" speaker="strongbad">I mean, more expensive.</line>
  <line start="817" end="839" speaker="strongbad">I–I mean, lappier.</line>
  <line start="839" end="849" speaker="sfx">Ding!</line>
  <line start="849" end="880" speaker="strongbad">What?! April First?!</line>
  <line start="880" end="915" speaker="strongbad">Aw, man, I can't check my email today!</line>
  <line start="915" end="953" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Here it comes, here it comes! Brace myself!</line>
  <line start="953" end="981" speaker="strongbad">Homestar, what are you doing here?</line>
  <line start="981" end="1032" speaker="homestar">Just waiting for you to drop that Apro Foo'Day bomb, Strong Bad!</line>
  <line start="1032" end="1066" speaker="homestar">Our website always has the best pranks!</line>
  <line start="1066" end="1120" speaker="strongbad">Homestar, everybody knows the Internet already ruined April Fools' Day.</line>
  <line start="1120" end="1155" speaker="strongbad">On February 7, 2008, ironically enough.</line>
  <line start="1155" end="1216" speaker="homestar">But it's the day the Internet gets on the Internet to make inside jokes about the Internet!</line>
  <line start="1216" end="1317" speaker="strongbad">Exactly. And I can't wait to be <em>soooo</em> fooled when my favorite website looks like it's from another <em>time</em> period!</line>
  <line start="1317" end="1388" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Oh. Man. This looks just like one of them Flash-y cartoon websites from 2002!</line>
  <line start="1388" end="1414" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">No! Shut up! I haven't done it yet!</line>
  <line start="1414" end="1440"><strongbad voiceover="yes">Boo-da-ling…</strongbad><sfx>Mechanical clunking</sfx></line>
  <line start="1440" end="1483" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">What happened to my wedsize? It's gone Old Time Jones!</line>
  <line start="1483" end="1513" speaker="thehomestar">E'erybody, e'erybody.</line>
  <line start="1513" end="1555" speaker="oldstrongbad">Insert one pence for tomfoolery!</line>
  <line start="1555" end="1581" speaker="thehomestar">Insert a baby.</line>
  <line start="1581" end="1615" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Oh, no, I'm not falling for <em>that</em> prank again.</line>
  <line start="1615" end="1656" speaker="homestar" voiceover="yes">Strong Bad, let's move on to the next thing you're gonna make fun of.</line>
  <line start="1656" end="1704" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">And don't forget all the great fake movie trailers we get to suffer through.</line>
  <line start="1712" end="1817" speaker="announcer" voiceover="yes">Sometimes, a cruel, cruel world needs a man with cool, cool glasses.</line>
  <line start="1817" end="1868" speaker="sfx">Dangeresque theme</line>
  <line start="1868" end="1898"><strongbad>Two Dangeresques?!</strongbad><strongbad>Two Dangeresques?!</strongbad></line>
  <line start="1898" end="1935"><homestar>And two Dangeresque Toos?!</homestar><homestar>And two Dangeresque Toos?!</homestar></line>
  <line start="1935" end="1955" speaker="coachz">But that equals…!</line>
  <line start="1965" end="1995" speaker="announcer" voiceover="yes">Dangeresque Four <span style="visibility:hidden">Divided by Two Equals Six!</span></line>
  <line start="1995" end="2027" speaker="announcer" voiceover="yes">Dangeresque Four Divided by Two <span style="visibility:hidden">Equals Six!</span></line>
  <line start="2027" end="2060" speaker="announcer" voiceover="yes">Dangeresque Four Divided by Two Equals Six!</line>
  <line start="2067" end="2092" speaker="strongbad">Or did I? <span style="visibility:hidden">…I, I, I, I, I?</span></line>
  <line start="2092" end="2099" speaker="strongbad">Or did I? …I, <span style="visibility:hidden">I, I, I, I?</span></line>
  <line start="2099" end="2104" speaker="strongbad">Or did I? …I, I, <span style="visibility:hidden">I, I, I?</span></line>
  <line start="2104" end="2109" speaker="strongbad">Or did I? …I, I, I, <span style="visibility:hidden">I, I?</span></line>
  <line start="2109" end="2113" speaker="strongbad">Or did I? …I, I, I, I, <span style="visibility:hidden">I?</span></line>
  <line start="2113" end="2122" speaker="strongbad">Or did I? …I, I, I, I, I?</line>
  <line start="2144" end="2165" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.8" voiceover="yes">Is that— is that six?</line>
  <line start="2169" end="2175" speaker="strongsad">Ugh!</line>
  <line start="2177" end="2201" speaker="homestar">When's it coming out?! When's it coming out?!</line>
  <line start="2201" end="2235" speaker="homestar">I gotta forward this to all my peeps on Google Buzz!</line>
  <line start="2235" end="2303" speaker="strongbad">Now, hang on, we don't want to forget about the fake ads for nerd culture products that don't really exist.</line>
  <line start="2303" end="2335" speaker="strongsad">Did someone say, "nerd cultures"?</line>
  <line start="2335" end="2354" speaker="strongsad" sfx="sfx">Choking</line>
  <line start="2354" end="2363"><strongbad voiceover="yes">No!</strongbad><homestar voiceover="yes">No!</homestar></line>
  <line start="2368" end="2422" speaker="announcer" voiceover="yes">Burninate back-to-school with the Trogdor Beefy Arm Backpack.</line>
  <line start="2422" end="2459" speaker="announcer" voiceover="yes">Two straps! One beefy arm!</line>
  <line start="2459" end="2508" speaker="announcer" voiceover="yes">Secret com-pockt-ments for all your consummate V's.</line>
  <line start="2508" end="2575" speaker="announcer" voiceover="yes">And you'll look "rather dashing" in this Burninated Peasant Zip-up Trench Hoodie.</line>
  <line start="2575" end="2604" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">It's only fake, unless enough of you say you'll buy one,</line>
  <line start="2604" end="2636" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">in which case, support my crowdfunding campaign!</line>
  <line start="2636" end="2676" speaker="homestar">I want one! Imagine me with three arms!</line>
  <line start="2676" end="2728" speaker="homestar">Oooooooh! I gotta send this to all my Google Wavebirds!</line>
  <line start="2728" end="2750" speaker="strongbad">Forget all that mess!</line>
  <line start="2750" end="2804" speaker="strongbad">I'm yanking April Fools' off the Internet and back into the real world!</line>
  <line start="2804" end="2833" speaker="strongbad">Where it can physically hurt people!</line>
  <line start="2833" end="2869" speaker="homestar">Nobody falls for that stuff no more, Strong Bad!</line>
  <line start="2869" end="2925" speaker="strongbad">Hey, Homestar! I'd like you to meet your long-lost twin brother!</line>
  <line start="2925" end="2960" speaker="homestar">Chauncey! Give us a three-arm hug!</line>
  <line start="2973" end="3000" speaker="strongbad">Ha! April Fools'!</line>
  <line start="3009" end="3047" speaker="marzipan">Are you sure this is gluten-free?</line>
  <line start="3047" end="3067" speaker="strongbad">April Fools'!</line>
  <line start="3067" end="3100" speaker="strongbad">Hey, King of Town, I'd like you to eat… <span style="visibility:hidden">your long lost twin brother.</span></line>
  <line start="3100" end="3127" speaker="strongbad">Hey, King of Town, I'd like you to eat… your long lost twin brother.</line>
  <line start="3127" end="3141" speaker="kingoftown">Okay!</line>
  <line start="3153" end="3173" speaker="strongmad">GET ME DOWN!</line>
  <line start="3173" end="3187" speaker="strongbad">A-tee hee.</line>
  <line start="3187" end="3217" speaker="strongmad">I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS!</line>
  <line start="3217" end="3230" speaker="strongbad">And a-tee hee hee.</line>
  <line start="3235" end="3241" speaker="strongsad">Ugh!</line>
  <line start="3246" end="3284" speaker="bubs">How am I supposed to get inside my car?</line>
  <line start="3284" end="3324" speaker="coachz">How am I supposed to get outside my apratment?</line>
  <line start="3348" end="3381" speaker="strongbad">Now, that's how you April Fools' a body.</line>
  <line start="3381" end="3440" speaker="strongbad">Pain and suffering. Not… inconvenient web browsing.</line>
  <line start="3440" end="3446" speaker="sfx">Ding!</line>
  <line start="3446" end="3495" speaker="strongbad">Hey! Look at that! Now I can check my email.</line>
  <line start="3495" end="3555" speaker="strongbad">Alright boxing gloves, get ready to work your inexplicable magic.</line>
  <line start="3555" end="3596" speaker="strongbad">I check my email on computers, huh-HA! Uh, no toast!</line>
  <line start="3675" end="3694" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">C-G-eowwww!</line>
  <line start="3701" end="3750" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes" sfx="sfx">Music</line>
  <line start="3919" end="3956" speaker="oldstrongbad">Old Time Jones Drug-filled Tonic!</line>
  <line start="3956" end="3977" speaker="oldstrongbad">"It's for children, you!"</line>
</transcript>