Subtitles:sbemail168/en

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Current revision as of 22:51, 19 June 2015

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These are the English subtitles for your funeral. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail168.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="18" end="87" speaker="strongbad">Strong Bad, how you gonna check that email? With my boxing gloves, with my boxing gloves!</line>
<line start="87" end="114" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Screaming Yellow Strong Bad,</line>
<line start="114" end="142" speaker="strongbad">"What do you think your funeral would be like?</line>
<line start="142" end="172" speaker="strongbad">"Sincerely Yours, Bibendum."</line>
<line start="172" end="224" speaker="strongbad">Oh man, Addendum. My funeral is going to be off all of the following:</line>
<line start="224" end="307" speaker="strongbad">The hook, the chain, the charts, the grid, and most importantly, the wagon.</line>
<line start="307" end="367" speaker="strongbad">First, I'll have to deal with the most difficult decision a newlydead faces:</line>
<line start="367" end="411" speaker="strongbad">What to do with my stinking, rotten remains.</line>
<line start="411" end="460" speaker="strongbad">I don't wanna just be lying there surrounded by sweet-smelling flowers...</line>
<line start="460" end="496" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="notwhatiwanted">...and sweat-smelling followers.</line>
<line start="496" end="520" speaker="lady" voiceover="yes">Oh, he looks so peaceful.</line>
<line start="520" end="566" speaker="strongbad">Shut up, lady! Peaceful is not how I roll!</line>
<line start="566" end="598" speaker="strongbad">That's why I'm gonna be taxidoimied!</line>
<line start="598" end="649" speaker="strongbad">Nothing sums up my life's achievements quite like my stuffed corpse...</line>
<line start="649" end="665" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">...suplexing a cougar.</line>
<line start="665" end="680" speaker="strongbad" sfx="sfx">roars like a cougar</line>
<line start="680" end="725" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">It'll be kept in a place of honor for all the world to want to make out with.</line>
<line start="725" end="759" speaker="homestar">Marzipan! I'm home!</line>
<line start="759" end="782" speaker="marzipan">Did you find the DNA evidence?</line>
<line start="782" end="816" speaker="homestar">Not yet, but I'm getting close!</line>
<line start="816" end="902" speaker="strongbad">Well, maybe I'll just preserve myself fetal pig-style in a mason jar filled with the salty tears...</line>
<line start="902" end="968" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">...of all the heart-broken private school girls that will pine-uh for me-uh.<!-- He types it in the shot afterward so don't change it--></line>
<line start="968" end="1021" speaker="strongbad">That way, there'll be something left to re-animate once the zombie uprising cometh.</line>
<line start="1021" end="1050" speaker="strongbad">In 2046. <span style="visibility:hidden">On March 31st. At 2:03 pm.</span></line>
<line start="1050" end="1068" speaker="strongbad">In 2046. On March 31st. <span style="visibility:hidden">At 2:03 pm.</span></line>
<line start="1068" end="1088" speaker="strongbad">In 2046. On March 31st. At 2:03 pm.</line>
<line start="1088" end="1119" speaker="strongbad">And while I'm a big fan of the classic...</line>
<line start="1119" end="1184" speaker="strongbad"><i>(singing)</i> "dunh-dunh-da-dunh-Dunh-da-dunh-da-dunh-da-dunh,"</line>
<line start="1184" end="1222" speaker="strongbad">my funeral dirge would be written and performed by <span style="visibility:hidden">Taranchula!!</span></line>
<line start="1222" end="1243" speaker="strongbad">my funeral dirge would be written and performed by Taranchula!!</line>
<line start="1243" end="1490" sfx="music">heavy metal music</line>
<line start="1290" end="1320"><sfx>heavy metal music</sfx>
<taranchula sfx="evillaughter">evil laughter</taranchula></line>
<line start="1320" end="1340" sfx="music">heavy metal music</line>
<line start="1340" end="1400"><sfx>heavy metal music</sfx><taranchula voiceover="deathmetal">Brother in a jar! Brother in a jar!</taranchula></line>
<line start="1400" end="1422" sfx="music">heavy metal music</line>
<line start="1422" end="1448" speaker="taranchula" voiceover="deathmetal">Brotherinajar!</line>
<line start="1448" end="1510" speaker="strongbad">Since I'm not very confident in Strong Mad or The Cheat's public speaking abilities,</line>
<line start="1510" end="1572" speaker="strongbad">I'll pre-record my own eulogy and have it played back on 5 boomboxes...</line>
<line start="1572" end="1598" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">...stacked on top of each other.</line>
<line start="1598" end="1630" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><i>(on tape)</i> Greetings, blubbering masses!</line>
<line start="1630" end="1699" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Pull yourselves together and turn off the snotworks. We are gathered here to--</line>
<line start="1699" end="1719" sfx="sfx">scratches</line>
<line start="1719" end="1756" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">I hope I'm not recording over anything important!</line>
<line start="1756" end="1834" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, drap it! Coach, Z, Coach Z, 1, 2, 3, 4,</line>
<line start="1834" end="1883"><coachz voiceover="ontape">I said Coach, Z, Coach, Z, 1, 2--</coachz><sfx>beat begins</sfx></line>
<line start="1883" end="1945" speaker="homestar">Thank you, Strong Bad. And now a reading from the book of phone.</line>
<line start="1945" end="1986" speaker="homestar">Chapter 16: Pizza places.</line>
<line start="1986" end="2054" speaker="homestar">Aardvark Pizza. Abraham Lincoln's Pizza Cabin.</line>
<line start="2054" end="2136" speaker="homestar">Acupuncture and Pizza. Open late. Free delivery!</line>
<line start="2136" end="2230" speaker="homestar">And now, Strong Sad will perform an interpretive dance based on his brother's life.</line>
<line start="2230" end="2281" sfx="sfx">gong, music</line>
<line start="2281" end="2306" sfx="sfx">shatter, gasps</line>
<line start="2306" end="2344" speaker="strongbad"><i>(distorted)</i> Sorry everybody. Funeral's over.</line>
<line start="2344" end="2421" speaker="strongbad">Not even death can stop me from stopping my leotarded brother prancing around in my honor.</line>
<line start="2421" end="2462" speaker="strongsad">But you never got to see my Chaup au Fan!</line>
<line start="2460" end="2501" speaker="strongbad">You keep your chappy thong to yourself, mister!</line>
<line start="2501" end="2573" speaker="strongbad">Hordes of locusts and famine got nothing on the sight of Strong Sad dancing interpretively.</line>
<line start="2573" end="2633" speaker="strongbad">So, in order to spare the world, I guess I can just never die.</line>
<line start="2633" end="2650" speaker="strongbad">Okay! <span style="visibility:hidden">Man, I hope the zombies still let me fight on their side.</span></line>
<line start="2650" end="2691" speaker="strongbad">Okay! Man, I hope the zombies still let me fight on their side.</line>
<line start="2691" end="2745" speaker="strongbad">I've got my own tattered jeans and mouthful of grape jelly.</line>
<line start="2745" end="2763" speaker="strongbad">Anyone?
<span style="visibility:hidden">
<span style="font-size:0.9em">Zombies?</span>
<span style="font-size:0.8em">Jelly?</span>
<span style="font-size:0.7em">Grapity?</span>
</span></line>
<line start="2763" end="2785" speaker="strongbad">Anyone?
<span style="font-size:0.9em">Zombies?</span>
<span style="visibility:hidden">
<span style="font-size:0.8em">Jelly?</span>
<span style="font-size:0.7em">Grapity?</span>
</span></line>
<line start="2785" end="2808" speaker="strongbad">Anyone?
<span style="font-size:0.9em">Zombies?</span>
<span style="font-size:0.8em">Jelly?</span>
<span style="visibility:hidden">
<span style="font-size:0.7em">Grapity?</span>
</span></line>
<line start="2808" end="2827" speaker="strongbad">Anyone?
<span style="font-size:0.9em">Zombies?</span>
<span style="font-size:0.8em">Jelly?</span>
<span style="font-size:0.7em">Grapity?</span>
</line>
<line start="2827" end="2842" speaker="thepaper">Preeeeow!</line>

<line start="2852" end="2909" speaker="strongsad"><i>(Deep voice)</i> Fall back. The zombies have broken through our defenses!</line>
<line start="2909" end="2940"><strongbad>Barrgh!</strongbad><sfx>glop</sfx></line>
<line start="2940" end="2978" speaker="strongsad">We need to activate the doomsday device!</line>
<line start="2978" end="3000" speaker="strongsad">Get the leotard!</line>
<line start="3000" end="3021" speaker="taranchula" voiceover="voiceover">Brotherinajar!</line>
</transcript>