Flash is Dead!

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 21:16, 3 August 2015

"See? That's a chunk of Flash authoring interface right there!"

Flash is dying, and the citizens of Free Country, USA have to head for the hills (or bushes) until they can learn HTML5.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, F.Sack, Bubs (voice only), Coach Z (voice only)

Places: The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand (Easter egg)

Date: Monday, August 3, 2015

Running Time: 2:00

Page Title: Oh man! We're so doomed!!

Transcript

{The Flash Plugin Error appears reading "This plugin is vulnerable and should be updated" and the text below it reading "Activate Flash". Homestar Runner soon after pops up from below}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wo-ho! Check it out! I'm vulnerable and should be updated. {The scene pans out to show the error screen is a sign being held up by two planks, as Homestar Runner is in the field with it} Hey, that sounds like my dating profile!

{Strong Bad runs to Homestar Runner, hyperventilating, with a filthy sack behind his back.}

STRONG BAD: {dropping his sack} Homestar! What are you doing, man?! This is horse giblets!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {bending forward towards the sack} Oh, hello horse giblets! {Strong Bad turns around at the sack} I thought you were just a filthy sack!

STRONG BAD: {Strong Bad turns around to Homestar as Homestar stands back upright} No, I'm not referring to the filthy sack, whose name incidentally is F.Sack. I'm talking about the situation, man!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What situation? I'm trying to update my dating profile!

STRONG BAD: Haven't you heard? Flash is dying!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, well good! I'm a way better runner than that guy anyways!

STRONG BAD: No, I'm talking about Flash! Like, what we breathe! The thing what creates us all!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were getting a little {Homestar's cap hovers a bit} religioso on me.

{The hsbody layer and the draw from Flash call from a sky and onto the ground, slightly piercing the ground}

STRONG BAD: Ahh! See, that's a chunk of Flash Authoring Interface right there! It's falling apart! We gotta head for the hills!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Are those hills? I always thought they was bushes.

STRONG BAD: Figurative.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But actually, I never walked a couple of feet to find out for sure.

STRONG BAD: I meant it figuratively.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, let's do it right now!

STRONG BAD: I'm being figurative!

{Homestar runs towards the bushes in the background, eventually running into them and falling back.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Blah! Bush. Definitely Bush.

STRONG BAD: Now listen. I've got enough classic motion tweens and deprecated actions in ol' F-sack, to last us at least 6 months until we can learn HTML5.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh, I know what that stands for! Hyper-Text Markup Lotion! {Homestar holds up a lotion with the HTML Logo, minus the L, which is used at the bottom with the word LOSCHE!.} Let me poop a little bit out for you! {Homestar squeezes the bottle three times}

STRONG BAD: Nope, nope, nope, the land of ten-thousand nopes. Homestar, the death of Flash is equivalent to a giant meteor heading straight for the Earth!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oohhh, I got you. Sounds like somebody's asking for another heaping helping of... {Homestar holds up a DVD cover of Deep Impact} Deep Impaaact!

{Strong Bad groans}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {putting the DVD in front of his face and then impersonating a commander} Strong Bad, this is Morgan Shawshank, I need you to hit that meteor with every Duvall you've got.

STRONG BAD: Never mind. I'll be in Bubs' Fallout Shelter if anybody needs me. {Picking up his sack and walking away} Good luck with yourself, Homestar!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I don't want to miss a thing!

STRONG BAD: {in the distance} Wrong Movie!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wait, those were two different movies?

{The Flash Plugin Error screen fills the scene with the text Oh, man, and below it, We gotta figure something out, fast!.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But they both came out, like, the same summer even!

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click on the Red Button on the Flash Plugin Error screen to see a scene with Strong Bad, Bubs, and Coach Z inside Bubs' Concession Stand now withthe gate closed down and the store text reading "BUBS' FALLOUT 5HELTER".

STRONG BAD: Bubs, where's the bathroom in this place? It's just a bunch of canned goods!

BUBS: Well, you know what they say, Strong Bad. Today's Pork and Beans is tomorrow's toilet!

COACH Z: And in some rare cases, today's!

STRONG BAD: Ugh! Bubs, I thought you said this fallout shelter was Coach Z-free!

BUBS: Well, somebody's gotta carry on the human race.

STRONG BAD: W-ah! I don't want to think about words any more.

• At the end, click on "gotta" to see Homestar's dating profile on his website.

head> )title(Untitled)title( /head} ,body.

helscome my dating prolif.

its not done.

Name: Homestar Michael (stipe) Runner
Type: Single-ish no-armed whitey. Is vulnerable and
should be updated.
Status: Marzipan'd
Likes: beans b/w rice. thats all i can think umf tonight.
No likes: four door sedans. billfolds.

• this page is best viewed using Ned'ss cape 1.0 or lower

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome to my dating profile, it's not done. Name, Homestar Michael Whitey. Type! Single-ish no-armed whitey, is vulnerable and should be updated. Status, Marzipan'd! Likes! Beans backed with rice. Uhm, that's all I can think of tonight. No likes. Aw, this one is easy; four-door Sedans and billfolds! I don't even know what billfold is. Boo-ding! This site is best viewed using Ned's cape 1.0 or lower.

• At the end, click on "fast" to see a scene with F.Sack.

F.SACK: Aw man, Strong Bad. Sometimes, I wish you had made me horse giblets. Better than that ol' name F.Sack; sounds unsavory.

Fun Facts

Trivia

• The entire short alludes to Flash's apparent discontinuation due to security issues in favor of the more modern and secure HTML5.

Remarks

Goofs

• The tall grass around objects embedded into the ground is a different shade of green from the rest of the grass. Oddly, this goof is not present in the YouTube version.

Inside References

• Homestar Runner's dating profile is a reference to Homestar Runner's Website.

Real-World References

• Homestar mistakes Flash for the comic book hero of the same name, The Flash, known for his super speed.
• Michael Stipe is a musician best known as the lead singer of the band R.E.M.
• Homestar confuses the Mimi Leder-directed film Deep Impact with Michael Bay's more successful film Armageddon, quoting the Aerosmith song I Don't Want to Miss a Thing and correctly stating that both movies came out in the summer of 1998.
  • Morgan Freeman played significant roles in both Deep Impact and The Shawshank Redemption.

External Links

• watch "Flash is Dead!" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "Flash is Dead!"
• watch "Flash is Dead!"