Editing portrait

[[Image:Sbemail139.png|thumb|Done by a Deutsch Master]]

'''Strong Bad Email #139'''

Strong Bad tries to make a portrait of himself.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, [[Lord Quackingstick]], {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Strong Mad}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Strong Mad's Room]], [[Strong Bad's Basement]], [[The Field]] (Easter egg)

'''Computer:''' [[Lappy 486]]

'''Date:''' December 4, 2005 

'''Running Time:''' 3:37
==Transcript==
'''STRONG BAD:''' Hey everybody, it's a musical Strong Bad Email this week! ''{presses enter}'' ''{singing}'' Doo doo doo Dear, Dear Strong Bad, oh I was wondering&mdash;''{stops singing}'' I can't keep this up.

<blockquote class="email"><div>subject: portrait</div>
Dear Strong Bad-<br />
I was wondering if you ever wanted to have somebody<br />
paint a portrait of &nbsp;your greatness.<br />
guess what, it's-<br />
Dylan Bragers (aka Coolio da Fabio)<br />
Texas
</blockquote>

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Guess what? Nobody calls you Coolio da Fabio (aka quit making up nicknames for yourself.) I'm just gonna call you Dealin' Burgers, which I assume doubles as an accurate job description.

''{Clears screen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Moving onwardly, I suppose my greatness is worthy of portraiture. Perhaps one done by a Deutsch Master.

''{Cut to a portrait of Strong Bad, in a long-haired wig, a beret, and a toga, holding a toy stick with a duck's head on the end. The painting is in a gold frame, with a museum placard beside it (see [[#Trivia|below]]).}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' The kind that are always getting stolen or vandalized by art bandits.

''{The Cheat appears from the top, wearing a black mask, skullcap, and a t-shirt reading "4rt b4ndit". He places a stencil over the painting and paints a "robotank", along with the words "RAD, RAD ROBOTANK", in pink spray paint.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen}'' Thanks little buddy; now it's worth something.

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{obliging The Cheat noises; salutes}''

''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{resumes typing}'' Or what about one of those black and white ink portraits you see in all the rich-guy newspapers.

''{Cut to a black-and-white newspaper. An image of Strong Bad in a suit and tie and holding a large cell phone is in the center.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Well apparently they're not rich enough to afford any color. Or even solid lines... Just a bunch of dots and dashes. I look like Morse code. ''{imitating Morse code}'' Dah dah dah dee dee dee... I a-am ho-o-olding a real-ly ol-d cel-l-l pho-o-one.

''{Cut back to the Lappy. The screen has cleared.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Oops. No. Hey, I got it! A painting of such greatness demands only the finest materials. And what could be finer than black velvet in a cheap imitation wood frame? It would be showcased&mdash;

''{Cut to the velvet painting. It shows Strong Bad holding a skunk. A lamp with a moose on it can be seen to the left.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' &mdash;in only the fanciest double-wide trailers. Oh, and look! I finally caught that skunk. I been chasing after that little scamp for&mdash;Whoa!&mdash; 

''{The shot suddenly shifts to the right to reveal a poster of a unicorn on a snowmobile with the caption "Born to be danged!!!". Another moose lamp is seen on the right.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' &mdash;Is that a blacklight poster of a unicorn riding a snowmobile?! Now ''that'' is some esteemed company.

''{A [[Cold One|Cold One Ice]] flies at the lamp and shatters it.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Thanks for breaking my moose lamp.

''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Unfortunately, I don't know anybody with a useless Master of Fine Arts degree, so I might have to settle for something a bit more, how you say, made by Strong Mad or The Cheat.

''{Cut to The Cheat, who is noisily gnawing Strong Bad's face into a log.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Very... uh, slobbery, The Cheat. This isn't quite what I had in mind when you said "sculpture."

''{Music starts playing.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' You're really just... goin' to town there, aren't ya?

''{Strong Bad stares at The Cheat working for a moment.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm gonna ''{motioning with his glove}'' leave you two alone.

''{Strong Bad backs away. Cut to Strong Mad's room. Strong Mad is sprinkling glitter over a macaroni picture. Strong Bad walks up.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, nice work, Chef Boyardee. 

''{Cut to a close-up of the picture.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Like I couldn't have gone down to the kindergarten and hired a five-year-old to make me one of those.

''{Cut back to the wide shot.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ...Except that sounds pretty creepy and I'd probably go to jail.

'''STRONG MAD:''' ''{slams the glitter down}'' I'LL WAIT FOR YOU!!

''{Cut back to the Lappy. Strong Bad sits down.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Well, thanks to my no-talent minions, it looks like a self-portrait is the only way to go. And I will render it in nothing less than the classic style of the Trüe Mästers.

''{Cut to a shot of Strong Bad, who has somehow fit his head into a wooden cutout of a muscular man holding a sword with a keyboard on it. The man has "SB" written on his stomach and is holding a falcon. His one visible leg wears a boot that looks vaguely similar to a [['Lectric Boots|'Lectric Boot]]. There are also two cans of paint nearby, labeled "Some Paint" and "Some More Paint". There is also a cutout of a mermaid at his feet with an empty space for a head. He paints it with a small brush.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, at last: A self-portrait that accurately depicts who I am, where I'm from<!--this word sounds weird-->, and my passing interest in falconry.

''{He tries to get out.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, oh. ''{keeps trying}'' How do I get outta this thing?

''{Cut to the reverse angle. He can be seen hanging by his head.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' How did I get ''into'' this thing? ''{kicks his legs together a few times}''

''{Cut back to the front view. He holds up the duck-head toy from the first portrait.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{making the bird talk}'' Quack, quack.

''{Cut to a close-up.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Why, Lord Quackingstick, how nice to see you. You don't happen to have a hacksaw in your pocket, do you? ''{making the bird talk}'' Quack, quack.

''{Cut back to the wide shot.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, too bad. ''{looking down at the mermaid}'' Well, what about you, Princess Shellbra?

''{He moves the bird-on-a-stick into the face hole for the mermaid.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{making the bird talk in a high, sultry voice}'' Quack, quack. ''{speaking normally}'' But of course. I<!--sic--> love to serenade you anytime with my ''{looks down to his right}'' mystical key-sword-tar. I mean it's not like I'm goin' anywhere... anytime soon.

''{[[The Paper]] comes down.}''

==Easter Eggs==
*Click the white card by the portrait by the Deutsch Master to see an "Adventures of [[Strong Badman]]" comic book.
*Click the key-sword-tar at the end to see a printable version of the robotank stencil The Cheat used to vandalize the painting.
*Click [[Lord Quackingstick]] at the end to see Strong Bad show off his key-sword-tar to Homestar.
:''{Cut to The Field with Homestar and Strong Bad holding the key-sword-tar, his head still in the hole, although it has been broken off from the rest of the portrait.}''
:'''STRONG BAD:''' So that's when I realized I don't even need lamaze classes.

:'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Strong Bad, there's something different about you.  Did you get a haircut?

:'''STRONG BAD:''' No, but I did get this new key-sword-tar.  Maow, maow, maoooooooow. ''{falsetto}'' Keyboard, keyboooooard. ''{normal}'' Maow, maow, maooooooooow. ''{falsetto}'' Fight some brigands!!  ''{Homestar holds up a [[SAAB Lighter|SAAB lighter]], Strong Bad's voice returns to normal}'' Maow Maow, Maoooow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-owwowwoww-whammy-barrrrruh.

==Fun Facts==
===Explanations===
* ''Deutsch'' is the German word for "german". Strong Bad uses it as a play on ''Dutch'', however (the similarity in sound has lead to confusions before such as the [[Wikipedia:Pennsylvania Dutch|Pennsylvania Dutch]], who are actually German). "Dutch masters" is a general term for the famous Dutch artists of the 17th century, such as [[Wikipedia:Rembrandt|Rembrandt]] and [[Wikipedia:Vermeer|Vermeer]]. "[[Wikipedia:Dutch Masters|Dutch Masters]]" is also a specific name for a brand of cigars.
* [[Wikipedia:Falconry|Falconry]] is the art or sport of training raptors (birds of prey) to hunt or pursue game.
*[[Wikipedia:Lamaze|Lamaze]] is a relaxation technique designed to avoid the use of pain-killing drugs during childbirth.

===Trivia===
* This email was released late Sunday night Atlanta time, but the website claimed that its release date was on Monday.
* The card next to the first portrait reads:
<blockquote style="font-family:Times,serif;border:2px solid black;background:#fff;color:#000;width:120px">
Strongio da Baddio<br />
DaVantres<br />
''c. 1658''</blockquote>
* The picture's captions read "Sell phones or ''Cell'' phones?" above and "<u>''Strong Bad''</u>" below. A lower headline reads "<u>Banks have "money"</u>".
* The left side of the newspaper reads:
<blockquote style="font-family:Times,serif;border:2px solid black;background:#ffffff;color:#000;width:150px">
<big><big>Mulligatawny</big></big><br />
stew rose high in<br />
the markets today<br />
fter rumors spread<br />
a really sweet deal<br />
over at my place<br />
usually get started<br />
d nine and go until<br />
who knows when!<br />
Pork bellies will be<br />
erved around 8-ish.<br />
tures to follow at 9<br />
ase bring your own<br />
pkins if you're into<br />
&nbsp;that crap. Not me.<br />
ipe hands on pants,<br />
&nbsp;yo. Anyways, I'm<br />
ally rich and money<br />
s still very valuable.
</blockquote>

* The right side of the newspaper reads:

<blockquote style="font-family:Times,serif;border:2px solid black;background:#ffffff;color:#000;width:240px">
<big><big>G</big>igantic cell phone</big><br />
making a 4th quart<br />
comeback as the the "it'<br />
toy of the Decemberwe<br />
season. "Who wants to<br />
put a phone in their poc<br />
when you can carry aro<br />
a separate suitcase just<br />
for a portable, wireless<br />
mobile, take-anywhere<br />
cellular telephone. Ma<br />
analysts predict all the<br />
cool kids will be luggi<br />
these stylish jobbies fr<br />
prom dance to soccer<br />
practice in 2006.<br />
&nbsp;"I want a cell phone<br />
that is quite large," say<br />
the sleepy rabbit.<br />
The technology sector is anticipating<br />
other woodland creatures to be amon<br />
early adopters of the new technology
</blockquote>

===Remarks===
*Homestar's lighter in the key-sword-tar Easter egg is a [[Wikipedia:Saab|Saab]] lighter, as opposed to Strong Bad's [[BMW Lighter|BMW one]].
*The fours in The Cheat's ''4rt b4ndit'' shirt are another example of [[Wikipedia:Leet|Leetspeak]] in the toons.
*Strong Bad mentions a [[Wikipedia:whammy bar|whammy bar]], or tremolo arm, while playing his key-sword-tar (a pun on the [[Wikipedia:Keytar|Keytar]]). However, only actual guitars have these.

===Goofs===
*The second small line on the right newspaper paragraph repeats the word "the".
*In the Easter egg, when Strong Bad is moving the cardboard cutout of the key-sword-tar around, the picture reverses direction.

===Inside References===
*Homestar's line "Thanks for breaking my moose lamp" is a reference to [[caper]], where he thanked Strong Bad and The Cheat for breaking his [[Cow Lamp|cow lamp]].
*A Strong Badman comic appeared in connection with a "Deutschman" in [[haircut]].
*The velvet painting of Strong Bad holding the skunk was done by [[Leomard Sportsinterviews|Lem Sportsinterviews]].
*The gnawing pose for The Cheat was last used in [[personal favorites]]. In the [[personal favorites#Commentary Transcript|DVD commentary]], [[The Brothers Chaps]] mention wanting to use that pose again.
*Strong Bad has a blacklight unicorn painting, as seen in the [[Strong Bad's Room Main Page]].
*The School Paste in Strong Mad's room was first seen in Strong Sad's room in the Email [[depressio]].
*The tune that Strong Bad uses to sing the opening lines of the e-mail is very similar to the tune to the "Pardon Our Problems" sign at the end of [[Fall Float Parade]].
*Strong Mad's box of "TendaRONi" is another appearance of [[Lowercase i's|lowercase "''i''"s]].
*The unnecessary [[Wikipedia:Heavy metal umlaut|umlauts]] in "Trüe Mästers" mirror those in "Witches' Brüe" from [[Halloween Fairstival]].
*[[Wikipedia:Mulligatawny|Mulligatawny]], a kind of soup, also appeared in the [[Experimental Film#Commentary Transcript 2|DVD commentary for Experimental Film]].

===Real-World References===
*The Rad Rad Robotank is likely a double-reference to [[Wikipedia:Transformers Universes|Transformers]] (the head is that of [[Wikipedia:Optimus Prime|Optimus Prime]]), and to the [[Wikipedia:Newgrounds|Newgrounds.com logo]] (the overall pose is very similar).
**The fact that it appears as a stencil is possibly a jab at Newgrounds' tendency to encourage people to place their [http://www.newgrounds.com/stickers/ promotional stickers] everywhere.
*[[Wikipedia:Chef Boyardee|Chef Boyardee]] was an Italian chef who is famous for his canned food franchise.
*The black and white portrait of Strong Bad bears a strong resemblence to ones found in ''[[Wikipedia:The Wall Street Journal|The Wall Street Journal]]'', which is probably the "rich-guy newspaper" he was referring to.
*Strong Bad mentions "anybody with a useless Master of Fine Arts Degree." [[Mike Chapman]] has a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree, and dropped out of graduate school feeling that his photographic style was not commercially viable.

==External Links==
*[[HR:sbemail139.html|Watch "portrait"]]
*[[HR:sbemail139.swf|View the Flash file for "portrait"]]
*[[Forum:6116|forum thread re: portrait]]

{{Strong Bad Email}}