Editing hremail 3184

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[[Image:hremail3184_intro.png|thumb|"And that, Gordon Tiecollarondemous, is why I decided to ''keep'' calling you Gordon Tiecollarondemous..."]]

Homestar's still checking his [[Hremails]]. Strong Bad's had enough.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Marzipan}},  [[Female Lappy 486]], {{Film|Senor Cardgage}}, {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|Coach Z}}, {{Film|Strong Mad}},  {{Film|Bubs}}, {{Film|The Announcer}} (Easter egg)

'''Places (in order of appearance):''' [[The Hremail Room]], [[Computer Room]], [[The Show]], [[Marzipan's House]], [[Bathroom of The Brothers Strong]], [[Athletic Field]], [[Carnival Tent]], [[The Field]], [[The Gymnasium]] (Easter egg)

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' Tuesday, June 30, 2009

'''Running Time:''' 5:04

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

==Transcript==
''{Homestar is sitting at his [[hremail]] desk. He has bags under his eyes and is slouching. He slips further and further down over the next line.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{half-mumbling}'' And that, Gordon Tiecollarondemous<!--?-->, is why I decided to ''keep'' calling you Gordon Tiecollarondemous...
 
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{from off-screen}'' Aaah! ''{A record scratch is heard.}'' I can't takes it no more! 

''{Cut to Strong Bad, screaming.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Somebody hand me a rake!

''{A rake is handed to Strong Bad. He grabs it and smacks Homestar with it.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Raaaake!

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{dropping the rake}'' Somebody hand me a shovel!

''{A shovel is handed to him. He smacks Homestar with it.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Shovel!

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{dropping the shovel}'' Somebody hand me a Garden Weasel!

''{A tool with a very spiky end is handed to Strong Bad. Again, he hits Homestar. Homestar comes back up with a "CENSORED" sign over his face; bruises and a stream of blood can be seen around it.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{calmly}'' Aw, a Weasel.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{wiping his brow}'' Phew.

''{Pan over to show Marzipan, holding the rake and shovel.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Thanks, Marzipan!

'''MARZIPAN:''' Always happy to help!

''{Cut to the Lappy. Strong Bad sits down in front of it.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Sorry, Lappy. My triumphant return to checking emails calls for some fresh blood!

''{He closes the Lappy, leaving a faint backwards "Lappy 486" in the wall behind it. He pushes it off to the side.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Tech nerds, feast your eyes... on ''Steak Sandwich!''

''{He places said sandwich on the desk in front of him to a trumpet fanfare. Cut to a solo image of the sandwich.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' The Steaky Steaky 6 Millenium Edition ''{a steak-shaped logo for this appears in the corner}'' is a processing wonder horse, capable of sauteed onions, ''{a logo for "Sauteed Onions Ghz" appears}'' grilled mushrooms, ''{a logo for "Grilled Mushrooms 32x" appears}'' and all right, never mind.

''{The Steak logo swivels as though its left side was no longer supported while the other logos fall off the screen.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' This is just a steak sandwich, isn't it?

''{Cut to a rear view of the desk, as Strong Bad looks at the sandwich.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' You know, I guess I'm a little... out-of-practice with this stuff. ''{to the Lappy}'' All right, Lappy, you can stay alive for at least one more week.

''{He pushes the sandwich aside and returns the Lappy to its rightful position. He opens the Lappy and a startup tone is heard. Cut to behind Strong Bad. The Female Lappy is visible.}''

'''FEMALE LAPPY 486:''' Another week with you, Strong Bad, is like 8 dog-weeks in cat-years.

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, are you sure you're not Senor Cardgage's computer?

'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' ''{from offscreen}'' No...

''{Cut back to show Senor Cardgage standing near Strong Bad, holding the sandwich.}''

'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' This steak samwich is Beverly ''clearly'' my compooter, Bathsheba.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{smiling}'' Hey, Cardgage! D'you wanna help me come out of e-tirement?

'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' Ummmmm... no.

''{Strong Bad lowers his head in disappointment. Senor Cardgage turns around and starts walking in place while his hair gets slightly blown, and sounds of traffic are heard. Strong Bad looks up in confusion, and starts to nervously lean back.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm quite scared right now.

''{Cut to the Lappy as Strong Bad turns back to it.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's start over. ''{types "strongbad_email.exe"}'' Oh, man, I haven't checked my email in so long, I bet there's gonna be a half-zillion messages waiting for me!

''{He presses Return. The following comes up with a ding: "Oh, smokes! You have 2 new messages!", which are "Coolness" from "Kelly" and "Thanks for loaning me your rake" from "Homestar".}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh. Well, a half-''four'' messages waiting for me isn't bad. ''{He brings up "Coolness".}''

<blockquote class="email"><div>subject: coolness</div>
Dear Strong Bad,<br />
What was the coolest explosion you ever saw?<br />
<br />
From,<br />
Kelly<br />
USA
</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad echos his own name. He says Kelly's name in a slightly seductive tone, leading into "USA" as "Oosa".}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Mmmm! An exotic lady from the far east! ''{typing}'' That's kind of a vague question don'tcha think? That's like me asking, "Dear Kelly, what's your favorite molecule of air that you've breathed?" ''{not typed}'' Or... ''{clears screen, typing:}'' "What's your favorite Strong Bad muscle that you wanted to rub with hot oils?" You gotta narrow it down somehow. Like, do you wanna know about the coolest looking explosion I ever rigged up in Strong Sad's org-ethnic breakfast pouch on a Tuesday?

''{Cut to the kitchen of the Brothers Strong. Strong Bad is pretending to eat from a cereal bowl with a spoon. Strong Sad is standing next to him, wearing a tuxedo, and looking expectantly at a toaster.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{poorly acting}'' Mmm. This cereal is sooooo cerealy.

''{The toaster pops up a breakfast pastry with a conspicuous red light on it. Strong Sad catches it. Over the next line, the light begins to blink faster and faster while making ticking noises.}''

'''STRONG SAD:''' Oh, child! I am gonna enjoy this saag paneer Pop-Tart with a vengeance! Then I've got to go stand around in this tuxedo with a ven&mdash; OOOHHH!!

''{The Pop-Tart explodes into green goo, which gets all over Strong Sad and leaves a green stain on the wall behind him.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Waa-ha-ha-ha!

''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Or do you wanna know like, the coolest explosion I ever saw that had one of those blast-wavy Saturn rings around it that've become so popular lately.<!-- sic, I know it should be a question mark -->

''{Cut to Strong Bad in his bathroom, holding a newspaper.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' 'Cuz I've caused ''plenty'' of those.

''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' But the coolest part was actually later on, when I was telling Coach Z all about it.

''{Cut to the Athletic Field. Strong Bad is talking to Coach Z.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' And so first, there was this little explosion, that was like "Doooooosh!" ''{some drops of spit fly away from him toward Coach Z}''

'''COACH Z:''' Ya don't say?

'''STRONG BAD:''' And then secondary charges blew and it was like, "Ka-plssshhhhh!" ''{more drops of spit fly toward Coach Z}''

'''COACH Z:''' You say?

'''STRONG BAD:''' And finally one of those blast-wavy Saturn rings that've become so popular lately shot out, and was like "PSSSSSSHHHHH!!!!" 

''{Strong Bad draws out the explosion. A wave of spit drops fly toward Coach Z. Coach Z pulls out a bar of soap and a bottle of "PORT PLUS +". He rubs the soap on his body and dumps some shampoo over his hat. He then tosses the bottle away and rubs his hat, which becomes sudsy.}''

'''COACH Z:''' Thanks for the great story, Strong Bad! I was gonna hit the showers, but now I don't has<!--sic--> to!

''{Strong Bad spits a few more drops toward Coach Z. Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Everybody knows that the more spit it takes to describe an explosion, the cooler said explosion was. ''And'' the cooler said explosion-talker-abouter is!

''{Cut to Strong Sad talking to Coach Z in the Athletic Field.}''

'''STRONG SAD:''' And then my saag paneer Pop-Tart said it like... "Ptoo."

''{A single large drop of spit flies toward Coach Z.}''

'''COACH Z:''' ''{angrily}'' Are you kiddin' me? I can't even warsh my hands with that mess!

''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' But if history has taught us anything, then we all know that the coolest explosions have come from my very own computers.

''{A quick montage results where the Tandy explodes, throwing Strong Bad back, Strong Bad knocks the Tandy off the desk with an inexplicable explosion, Bubs' shotgun blows a hole in the Compy, Strong Mad gulps from a mini-explosion from the Compy, and the Tandy explodes in a green pixelated mushroom cloud with Homestar nearby. Cut back to the Lappy, with the female Lappy visible.}''

'''FEMALE LAPPY 486:''' But waimt<!--sic-->, Strong Bad, does that means<!--sic-->?

'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm afraid so, sweet Lappy. I figured that USB self-destruct button I bought a couple weeks ago woulda clued you in.

''{Cut to a closeup of a big red button with "dooj" written on it, connected to the Lappy via USB. Then cut to a rear view of the desk.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' But... it's time. ''{Cut to behind Strong Bad}'' Why wait around for someone else to blow up your computer tomorrow when you can blow it up yourself today?

'''FEMALE LAPPY 486:''' You should put that on your bwees-ness cards.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sadly}'' That's a great idea, Lappy. ''{cut to rear view of the desk}'' Good bye. ''{presses the button}'' Dooj.

''{Cut to a silhouette of the house with a tree beside it. The explosion knocks the tree away and blows the roof clear of the house. Two shockwaves appear as part of the explosion. A ghostly image of the Female Lappy icon with fangs appears in the explosion.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' So popular lately.

''{Cut to Bubs and Coach Z on lawn chairs, watching the explosion.}''

'''COACH Z:''' Oooooor! Awwwwwr! <br />
'''BUBS:''' Ooooooh! Awwwwww!

'''COACH Z:''' I can't wait till Strong Bad tells me 'bout that one. I'm'a go ahead and strip down to da nude!

'''BUBS:''' ''{pointing at Coach Z}'' Ponk!

''{Cut to Strong Bad, standing next to the desk. Strong Bad himself is unharmed, but the desk it broken in two from the explosion, and the paint has been torn away.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' And now that&mdash;

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{poking in from the side; quickly}'' Don't call it a comeback.

'''STRONG BAD:''' &mdash;is what I call&mdash;

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{more angrily; still quickly}'' Don't call it a comeback.

'''STRONG BAD:''' &mdash;a&mdash;

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{disappears off the side and reappears upside-down}'' Don't call it a comeback.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{jumping forward on his knee}'' &mdash;comeback!

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{disappears and reappears rightside-up, makes an annoyed sigh}''

''{Homestar disappears while Strong Bad looks upward.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Uh, if a paper survived that, maybe come down... now?

''{Black ashes fall from the top of the screen. Strong Bad looks down at them.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh. Looks like I need a new one of those, too.

==Easter Eggs==
*When the [[Lappy]] tells [[Strong Bad]] to put his catch phrase about computer destruction on his "bwees-ness" cards, click "bwees-ness card" to see a business card for a computer destruction business.
*At the end, click on the hole in the wall to see an exchange between [[Strong Sad]] as Gardenboy from [[yes, wrestling]] and [[The Announcer]].
:''{Cut to a scene at the [[Gymnasium]] with The Announcer at the left and Gardenboy at the right}'' 
:'''GARDENBOY:''' Well, you know, announcer man, that's right! All you gophers out there better listen up! The Magnificent Marzipan stole all Gardenboy's garden tools, and I don't care if she's a women's champion, a men's champion, a half woman-half man's champion... Uh, do we have one of those? 
:'''THE ANNOUNCER:''' Uh, yes, I believe we do.
:'''GARDENBOY:''' Well, can I fight them instead?

==Fun Facts==
===Explanations===
*[[Wikipedia:Saag|Saag paneer]] is an Indian curry based dish consisting of spinach, mustard leaf, and cheese.

===Trivia===
[[File:Homestar uncensored.png|thumb|"Aw, a Weasel."]]
*The hiatus between [[email thunder]] and this email (280 days, or nine months and one week) is the longest gap between any two Strong Bad Emails.
*Although it is only visible for a fraction of a second, the text on Homestar's desk has now been changed to "Still this guy!"
*When the Flash file is decompiled, Homestar's battered face is visible behind the censored box.
*The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "[[Floppy Disk Container|mega race]]".
*This episode marks the first time Strong Bad actually acknowledges how creepy [[Senor Cardgage]] is.
*This is the first time the exterior of [[House of the Brothers Strong|Strong Bad's house]] is shown outside of [[SBCG4AP]].
*Strong Bad's [[Periodicals|newspaper]] contains the following [[News Articles|articles]]:
{| style="border-collapse: collapse; border: 3px solid #999"
| style="border-right: 3px solid #999; font-size: 2em; text-align: center; line-height: 1em; padding: 5px; font-family:Times New Roman,serif" | Back Pape
| style="border-left: 3px solid #999; font-size: 2em; text-align: center; line-height: 1em; padding: 5px; font-family:Times New Roman,serif" | Da NewsPapes
|-
| style="border-right: 3px solid #999; padding: 5px; font-family:Times New Roman,serif;font-size:120%" | A sports player signed a contract worth a<br>bunch of money. "Whooey!" said the<br>player's uncle. "I could buy a car with<br>that much cashness."
| style="border-left: 3px solid #999; padding: 5px; font-family:Times New Roman,serif;font-size:120%" | Global relations set all types of box<br>office records this weekend. Studio<br>execs were encouraged by the turn<br>-around. So was I.
|}
*This is the only [[hremail]] accessable from [[Denny's Menu]], as well as the only one accessable from outside the [[New Stuff]] page.

===Remarks===
* In [[virus]], the virus caused everything to become corrupted. As part of the corruption, Bubs' shotgun resembled Homestar's leg. However, in the flashback, the shotgun is clearly still a shotgun even before the [[Compy 386]] is shot.
** After the virus was gone, Bubs was seen using a pump action shotgun, when in this clip, it is a double-barreled shotgun.
* Homestar Runner's email was not blocked by [[Edgar's Baby's Daddy]] or his Idiot Filter, as all Homestar emails are in [[candy product]] and [[Strong Badia the Free]], respectively.
* The USB standard had not yet been invented at the time 486-based laptops were available.
* This email contains several instances of [[Deliberately Poor English]].

===Goofs===
*When Homestar is hit with the Garden Weasel, his face is still visible. The bruises, scars, and blood only appear ''after'' the camera zooms in.
*When the ashes of the paper come down, they fall in front of Strong Bad, but after, some are behind Strong Bad on the floor.
*When Strong Bad is holding the Garden Weasel and wiping his head, the arm wiping his head is not visible.
*The word "millennium" is misspelled during the description of the steak sandwich.
*For one frame the black part of Strong Bad's mask in the reflection comes off the Tandy when Strong Bad punches it.
*Strong Bad's pants switch from having a purple sheen to having a gray sheen during the course of the cartoon.
<!--*The tine wheels on the Garden Weasel appear to be aligned in a way in which one closer wheel on the left is behind the one on the right.-->

===Inside References===
*The text on the mug on Homestar's desk appears to read "Auntie Gertr♥de's Tea", which is likely a reference to [[Aunt Gert]], the pantyhose doll from [[garage sale]].
*The explosion montage comprises scenes from [[gimmicks]], [[invisibility]] (slightly modified; see below), [[virus]] (not previously depicted), [[retirement]] (B), and [[retirement]] (A), respectively.
**In his flashback, the broken [[Tandy 400]] explodes when Strong Bad knocks it off his desk. There was no such explosion in [[invisibility]].
*[[Onomatopoeia|Dooj]], as the USB self-destruct button reads, is a common sound effect used for explosions in the Homestar Runner Universe.
*The scene of Bubs and Coach Z in the field is reminiscent of [[Happy Fireworks]], in which the two watched [[fireworks]] in a similar fashion.
**Likewise, the can of [[Cold One#Coldson Lite|Coldson Lite]] reappears.
**Oddly enough, this toon appeared the monday before the 4th of July, the holiday Happy Fireworks was about.
*Strong Sad's "Gardenboy" wrestling persona (seen in the Easter egg) originated in the email [[yes, wrestling]].
*The entire toon is about [[explosions]].
*Strong Bad [[Strong Bad Smiling|smiles]] when Senor Cardgage first shows up in his house, and he and [[Strong Sad Smiling|Strong Sad]] both smile in the Pop-Tart scene.
*Although censored, [[blood]] can still be seen trickling down Homestar Runner's face after being hit with the garden weasel.
*The scene in which Strong Bad introduces his "new computer" is a parody of the [[Lappy 486]]'s intro in the email [[animal]]. The background is originally from [[The Show]].
*Coach Z's "Port Plus" was previously mentioned in [[Jibblies 2]], where he asked the [[Horrible Painting]] for some.
*The Lappy's pronunciation "bwees-ness" was used previously in [[theme park]], where Strong Bad makes fun of how the email's author misspells "business".
*Strong Sad exclaiming "Oh, child!" echoes [[retirement]], when the Lappy exclaimed the same thing.
*The "Fightin' Coach Zs" logo from [[One Two, One Two]] appears on the athletic field.
*Strong Bad's line "Aaah! I can't takes it no more!" from offscreen is reminiscent of [[First Time Here?]].
*"Org-ethnic" is a [[portmanteau]] of "[[organic]]" and "ethnic".

===Real-World References===
*The [[Wikipedia:Garden Weasel|Garden Weasel]] is a garden implement made famous mainly through late night infomercials.
* Strong Bad's remark that Kelly-Usa sounds exotic is a reference to the [[Snopes:business/genius/usa.asp|urban legend]] about Japan renaming a town Usa.  This legend was also referenced in [[Donut Unto Others]].
*Senor Cardgage's "Beverly clearly" is a reference to children's author [[Wikipedia:Beverly Cleary|Beverly Cleary]].
* Senor Cardgage calles Strong Bad "Bathsheba", who is a character in the Bible. She was married to King David.
* A [[Wikipedia:Pop-Tarts|Pop-Tart]] is a popular breakfast pastry that comes in several flavors and is commonly prepared with a toaster.
*Coach Z's "PORT PLUS +" is a reference to the shampoo/conditioner "Pert Plus", just in a Coach Z accent.
*Strong Bad's "Dooj" button resembles the "Easy" button from commercials for [[Wikipedia:Staples Inc.|Staples]], an office supply chain.
*Homestar repeating the phrase "Don't call it a comeback", is a reference to the first line of "[[WIkipedia:Mama Said Knock You Out (song)|Mama Said Knock You Out]]" by [[Wikipedia:LL Cool J|LL Cool J]].
*Gardenboy's line in the Easter Egg that he doesn't care if Marzipan is a "women's champion or man's champion..." is a nod to [[Wikipedia:Andy Kaufman|Andy Kaufman]], the intergender wrestling champion.


==External Links==
*[[HR:hremail3184.html|watch "hremail3184"]] 
*[[HR:hremail3184.swf|view the Flash file for "hremail3184"]]
*[[Forum:15632|forum thread re: "hremail3184"]]

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