Editing record book

[[Image:Strong_Bad Email_134.png|thumb|"I'm just a silly little bumblebee".]]

'''Strong Bad Email #134'''

Strong Bad gathers records for the "Count Longardeaux's Book of Party Tricks, Redneck Jokes, and Worldly Records".

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|Coach Z}}, [[Little Strong Bad]], {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|The King of Town}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Homsar}}, {{Film|Strong Mad}}, {{Film|Bubs}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Strong Sad's Room]], [[King of Town's Castle]], [[The Field]]

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' July 25, 2005

==Transcript==

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' Drape it over your aaaaaaarms, step out in styyyyyle, Strong Bad Emaaaaaaail... ''{starts reading}''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: records</div>
dear strong bad,<br>
i was wondering if you were in the record book. if so,<br>
what for?<br>
nathan, tx</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad says "tx" as "Tee-Ex", as in the individual letters.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Oooh, the Nathan TX! That has, like, way four more cylinders than the standard Nathan. Better Blue Book value, too. I can't remember if I'm in the record book or not. Seems like I should be. Let's take a look. A book-look!

''{Cut to a table. Strong Bad places "THE RECORD BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS The Book!" on the table.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, let's see what we got in here.

''{He opens the book to page 42. The page shows a picture of a really dirty Coach Z with an afro and moustache, and reads "Chapter 4 - Records of Smell, Longest Showering Streak 65 Days, 3 Hours, 42 Minutes: COACH Z."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Sixty-five days?! That's ''way'' outdated! I'm pretty sure he's surpassed that one by several fortnights at this point.

''{Turns to page 116. This page shows young Strong Bad in a diaper and reads "Chapter 4 - Records of Smell, Dirtiest Diapey, Very, Very Dirty: LIL' STRONG BAD."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Dirtiest Diape&mdash; Whoa! ''{throws eggs, bacon, and coffee on the page and makes coughing noises}'' Coffee eggs bacon! Oh, too bad, I accidentally made breakfast all over whatever that record was for.

''{Cut back to the Lappy}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Clearly, this book is in serious need of an update. Let's begin with the title. How about: Count Longardeaux's Book of Party Tricks, Redneck Jokes, and Worldly Records. ''{The book appears}'' Now ''that'' sounds like a book worthy of every toilet-side magazine basket. Now let's go see about updating some o' them records.

''{He gets up. We now see Strong Sad, holding a magnifying glass and writing on grains of rice. Strong Bad walks up.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' 'Sup, double-bottom? How much you weigh?

'''STRONG SAD:''' What do you wanna know that for?

'''STRONG BAD:''' Count Longardeaux has me out gathering up new records ''{holds up a clipboard, which has a paper on it that reads "who the fattest?"}'' for his record book.

'''STRONG SAD:''' Oh! Well then ''this'' should interest you! I've transcribed ''Paradise Lost'' onto this single grain of Bazmati rice! ''{Cut to a view of the rice grain through the magnifying glass.}'' In four languages!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, yeah! That ''definitely'' deserves a record! 

''{A buzzer is heard and a page of the book is shown. It reads "Chapter 7 - Records of Loneliness, Biggest Waste of Dump: Strong "The Biggest Waste of Dump" Sad." The picture shows Strong Sad looking through his magnifying glass at the camera.}''

''{Cut to the King of Town's castle. The King of Town is seen with a giant pile of salt in front of him. Strong Bad walks up.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' All right, King o' Town, I need some disgusting eating records. Why don't you just, uh, have lunch, and I'm sure you'll set several without even trying.

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Ooh! I like eating lunch! Today I'm having a giant pile of salt!

''{The camera pans over, and we can now see the entire pile. We can also see a salt shaker sitting near the pile. The King sucks it all in in one gulp, like a vacuum cleaner, including the salt shaker.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! Nice woik!

''{The King seems to hiccup three times.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What, you got-a some hiccups?

''{The King "hiccups" again.}''

'''THE KING OF TOWN:''' Nope. Those, my friend, are heart attacks!

''{Another buzzer, another page that reads "Chapter 3 - Disgusting Eating/Old Person Records, Least Healthiest (Man?): The King of Town." The King "hiccups" again.}''

''{Cut to Homestar Runner in The Field on his soapbox, which now reads "THIRTEEN, Y'ALL."}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What do you call a redneck, with no teeth, that watches stock car racing all day? Ba-ha-ha-haaa! Man, they do not wear shirts!

''{Cut to Strong Bad and Coach Z, also in The Field.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' So, Coach Z, what kind of wonderment do you have in store for us? That's not shower-related?

'''COACH Z:''' Well, I'm gonna set the world record for puttin' nine pieces ''{starts putting gum on his face}'' of chewed gum up on my face and singin' the "I'm Just Me" song and hoppin' around on one foot! ''{He starts hopping on one foot.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Coach...

'''COACH Z:''' ''{singing}'' I'm just me! ''{Strong Bad shakes his head.}'' Can't you see? ''{Strong Bad starts hitting himself.}'' I'm just a silly little bumblebee!

'''STRONG BAD:''' Augh, please stop! ''{Coach Z stops hopping and singing, but remains on one foot.}'' Look, you can't just make up some random crap that no one else will ever do and call that a "record." ''{Cut to Homsar, hopping on one foot with gum on his face. Music starts.}'' Count Longardeaux would not stand for it!

'''HOMSAR:''' I'm just me! Can't you see? I'm just a silly little bumblebee!

''{Homestar pops up.}''

'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' What does a redneck man call some dead possum, lyin' in the middle of the road? Ba-ha-ha-haa! Probably sushi!

''{An unseen audience groans.}''

''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Well, I think we're just about done here. Strong Mad set the record ''{A page of the book that reads "Chapter 2 - Special Records, Most Macaronis Nailed To A Paper Towel Tube... By Strong Mad (Just One!): Strong Mad." The picture shows Strong Mad holding his tube.}'' for Most Macaronis Nailed To A Paper Towel Tube...By Strong Mad. ''{Another page, "Chapter 11 - Records of Smell/Track and Field, Pole Vault, 20 ft. 1.5 in.: Marzipan" appears. This one has no picture, and instead there is a black box that reads "Suprisingly, No Photo Available."}'' Marzipan set the World Record for the pole vault. And Bubs won Cutest Couple. ''{Yet another page, this one reading "Chapter 9 - Superlatives, Cutest Couple: Bubs" with a picture of Bubs (and no one else) trying to look cute.}'' Oh, wait, I forgot about me. I ''gots'' to get in this record book somehow. I'll get the record for...

''{Cut back to show The Cheat standing nearby.}''

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{says something}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What?! "Most rectangular mouth?!" My mouth can be round!

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{says something}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' What a bunch of bull ''{making his mouth as round as possible}'' hooOOooo00o00000oOOOOOOOeeOOOo0000&mdash;

''{A buzzer is heard, followed by a page appears that reads "Chapter 7 - Saying Words For A Long Time Records, Longest 'Bull Honkey', 13.4 Seconds: The Human Strong Bad." The picture shows Strong Bad in the same position he was just seen in.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' &mdash;nkey. Bull honkey.

''{[[The Paper]] comes down. Instead of the normal Back button, Count Longardeaux's image has a speech bubble reading "Back" in its place.}''

==Easter Eggs==

*Near the beginning, click on "standard Nathan" to see a drawing of "Standard Nathan" (some generic man) on notebook paper. 
**As the picture zooms in, it shows "the Nathan TX" appears, which shows a weird smiling car in front of Standard Nathan. It is labelled "built-in smoke" (pointing to its exhaust), "three front wheels" (pointing to its multiple front wheels), and "nathan" (pointing to Nathan).
*When the King of Town is eating the salt, click on the salt shaker to see a can of "Standard Nathan" Brand salt.
**Even after the King of Town inhales the saltshaker, the place on the table where it sat can still be clicked for the easter egg.
*While Homestar Runner is telling his second redneck joke, click on Homsar in the background to see his record page. It reads "Chapter 81 - Awkwardness, The Semi-Annual Mustard Man Award Or Best Offer!: Homsar" and shows Homsar with the gum on his face and his hat over his eyes.

==Fun Facts==
===Explanations===
*The King of Town would have a heart attack after eating a pile of salt because salt is sodium, and a high sodium intake is one of the causes for a heart attack.

===Remarks===
*Little Strong Bad is referred to as "Lil' Strong Bad" in the record book, rather than with the proper abbrevation "Li'l."
*Count Longardeaux's book apparently has two chapter sevens &mdash; one for "Records of Loneliness" and one for "Saying Words For A Long Time Records."
*As of July 25, 2005, the women's world record for [[Wikipedia:pole vault|pole vault]] was 16 ft, 5 in. That record was set on July 22, 2005. The men's world record was 20 ft, 1.75 in.
*Though Strong Bad's record says "13.4 seconds", he only says "Boll Honkey" for 10.5 seconds, counting both "Bull" and the silent pause before "key". Just the Hooo&ndash; bit lasts for 7.9 seconds. However from the time he starts saying "Bull Honkey" to the end of the email is close to 13.4 seconds.

===Inside References===
*Coach Z was seen with an afro and mustache in [[stand-up]].
*The salt shaker the King of Town is seen eating from is from [[Meet Marshie]].
*The [[Soap Box]] Homestar stands on has been seen before in [[fingers]] and [[army]], with labels reading 11 and 12 respectively (in this email it reads 13).

== External Links ==
*[[HR:sbemail134.html|watch "record book"]]
*[[HR:sbemail134.swf|view the Flash file for "record book"]]
*[http://forum.hrwiki.org/viewtopic.php?t=4332  forum thread for "record book"]

{{Strong Bad Email}}