Subtitles:sbemail104/en
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail104.swf" width="550" height="400"> <line start="15" end="80" speaker="strongbad">Everybody loves this, everybody needs this, it's time for funny stuff.</line> <line start="87" end="113" speaker="strongbad"><em>(in a Teen Girl Squad voice)</em> "Dear strong bad, you are the coolest..."</line> <line start="114" end="136" speaker="strongbad">Oh! Excuse me.</line> <line start="142" end="187" speaker="strongbad">"Dear strong bad, you are the coolest, any way onto bweez-ness."</line> <line start="192" end="215" speaker="strongbad">"i think that you should make your own theme park."</line> <line start="220" end="272"><strongbad sfx="sfx">sighs</strongbad><strongbad>"Sincerely yours, Rafael football league."</strongbad></line> <line start="278" end="324" speaker="strongbad">Well, Rafi, being the distinguished buisnessman that I am,</line> <line start="326" end="361" speaker="strongbad">I've had a theme park in development for quite some time now.</line> <line start="364" end="395" speaker="strongbad">Almost as long as I've been growin' this mustache.</line> <line start="432" end="449" speaker="strongbad">Anyways, it'd be called</line> <line start="456" end="490" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Strong Bad's Mount RIDESPLACE! USA</line> <line start="495" end="534" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And it will have more rides than you or your grandmother can handle.</line> <line start="543" end="600" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Of course, our flagship rollercoaster would be the Bowels of Trogdor!</line> <line start="606" end="669" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Which would like whip you around and around until you either throw up or catch fire somehow.</line> <line start="679" end="706" speaker="strongbad">Sorry, little guy, I can't do nothing for you.</line> <line start="713" end="748" speaker="strongbad">Maybe you better head over to Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land instead.</line> <line start="752" end="760" speaker="thecheat">disappointed The Cheat noise</line> <line start="769" end="804" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And every hour, at the main stage, there'd be a performance of</line> <line start="808" end="855" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">"The Strong Sad Gets Decked Repeatedly Stunt Spook-tacular"!</line> <line start="861" end="863" speaker="strongmad">MAUHHH!</line> <line start="864" end="868" speaker="strongsad">Oh!</line> <line start="874" end="904" speaker="strongbad">To make sure you don't have any money left when you leave,</line> <line start="909" end="942" speaker="strongbad">there'd be more games than you or your grandfather could handle.</line> <line start="947" end="1021" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You know, the ones where you throw hoops or rings or baseballs at different stuff</line> <line start="1022" end="1088" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and try to win cheap generic stuffed animal versions of ten-year-old cartoons.</line> <line start="1092" end="1110" speaker="strongbad">Like this Bubs with a horn.</line> <line start="1111" end="1165" speaker="bubs">No, no, no. You gotta get those rings inside the bottle.</line> <line start="1166" end="1177" speaker="pompom">bubbles</line> <line start="1191" end="1234" speaker="strongbad">No theme park would be complete without a bunch of costumed mascots</line> <line start="1235" end="1297" speaker="strongbad">running around antic-ing... antiquing... Whatever.</line> <line start="1303" end="1327" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You know, there'd be one of the Stop Sign,</line> <line start="1334" end="1372" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">call him "Stoppy", Stoppy the Sign.</line> <line start="1379" end="1395" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And then there'd be the tire...</line> <line start="1404" end="1419" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">call him "Poppy the Tire".</line> <line start="1428" end="1457" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And who could forget "General Tso's Chicken"?</line> <line start="1470" end="1507" speaker="homestar">Hey, Stoppy, is your suit chafing you like crazy?</line> <line start="1511" end="1558" speaker="coachz">Well, to tell ya da truth dere Poppy, I've always enjoyed a good chafe.</line> <line start="1566" end="1609" speaker="homsar">AaAaAaAaA! It's time for tasteball!</line> <line start="1614" end="1637" speaker="homestar">Oh, crap! It's tasteball already?</line> <line start="1640" end="1671" speaker="strongbad">But yeah, it's a pretty unrealistic vision.</line> <line start="1675" end="1737" speaker="strongbad">I'm gonna have to start robbing WAY more hot actresses if I ever hope to make that dream a reality.</line> <line start="1742" end="1810" speaker="strongbad">But for now, I'll settle for giving tours on The Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure.</line> <line start="1830" end="1834" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="1835" end="1870" speaker="strongbad">Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen my name is Strong Bad</line> <line start="1871" end="1930" speaker="strongbad">and welcome to The Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure.</line> <line start="1931" end="1936" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="1941" end="1946" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="1947" end="1994" speaker="strongbad">Please keep your arms legs and valuables inside the vehicle at all times</line> <line start="1995" end="2022" speaker="strongbad">and get ready to experience the fury of:</line> <line start="2026" end="2078" speaker="strongbad">The Strong Badian Riverboat Superfun... ride.</line> <line start="2079" end="2085" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="2192" end="2194" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="2195" end="2245" speaker="strongbad">And first up on our tour if you look to your right experience the fury of:</line> <line start="2246" end="2279" speaker="strongbad">a big rock that's going to fall on uuuus.</line> <line start="2280" end="2302" speaker="homestar">Ooooh.</line> <line start="2303" end="2348" speaker="strongbad">That was a close call, I hope everyone is okaaaay.</line> <line start="2349" end="2352" speaker="homestar">I'm not OK—</line> <line start="2353" end="2359" speaker="strongbad">Shut up.</line> <line start="2360" end="2365" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="2371" end="2373" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="2374" end="2418" speaker="strongbad">And if you look up the river here comes another one of our tour guides.</line> <line start="2419" end="2459" speaker="strongbad">His name is The Cheat. Everybody say "Hi, The Cheeeeat."</line> <line start="2460" end="2483" speaker="homestar">Hide and seeeeek.</line> <line start="2492" end="2494" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="2495" end="2561" speaker="strongbad">Oh, what's that I hear is it the sound of island drums? Oh no, it's headhunteeerrrs.</line> <line start="2567" end="2569" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="2570" end="2611" speaker="strongbad">Everyone stay in the boat, I'll take care of thiiis.</line> <line start="2612" end="2617" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="2643" end="2646" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="2647" end="2695" speaker="strongbad">Looks like we scared those headhunters. Let's hope they don't come baaack.</line> <line start="2696" end="2701" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="2704" end="2706" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="2707" end="2744" speaker="strongbad">Well folks we've made it back safely did everyone have a good time?</line> <line start="2745" end="2751" speaker="homestar">Not really.</line> <line start="2752" end="2819" speaker="strongbad">Goooood. Please leave your valuables under your seat and exit to your riiiight.</line> <line start="2820" end="2825" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="2831" end="2854" speaker="homestar">Strong Bad, I gotta level with ya.</line> <line start="2860" end="2909" speaker="homestar">That might have been the worst three thousand dollars I ever spent.</line> <line start="2998" end="3001" speaker="sfx">click</line> <line start="3002" end="3054" speaker="strongbad">Don't forget to experience the fury of: our gift shooop.</line> <line start="3055" end="3060" speaker="sfx">click</line> </transcript>