Cool Things
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Toon Category: Big Toon |
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Homestar tries to do something constructive. Strong Sad gets a date. Marzipan forms a band with Strong Mad and The Cheat. Bubs decides to stick it to the man.
Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Bubs, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, Strong Bad (Easter egg)
Places: Marzipan's House, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Field, Strong Bad's Basement (Easter egg)
Date: August 15, 2005
Running Time: 4:00
Page Title: Sittin' with a kitty...
Contents |
Transcript
{COOL THINGS appears on Marzipan's carpet. We tilt up to see Homestar and Marzipan sitting on the couch. Marzipan is reading "Peter Threadbare", while Homestar just looks bored.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sighs} Sitting on the couch is zero amount of fun when there's not a TV or hang glider in front of it.
MARZIPAN: Well, why don't you do something constructive? Like read a book, or write a novella.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nah, I already did some writing today. And then I read what I wrote.
MARZIPAN: Yay! Good for you. Can I see it?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's right over there. Check it out!
{Homestar looks at the left wall. The camera view changes to show that "Cool tapes" is roughly written on the wall.}
MARZIPAN: {offscreen} Why did you write "Cool tapes" on my wall?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {as if the answer should be obvious} Uh, hello? {Cut back to the couch. Marzipan and Homestar both look annoyed.} Maybe because I like cool tapes?
MARZIPAN: Well, I hope you like "cool" painting, because this has got to go.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {imitating a trombone} Mwah, bwah, bwahhhh.
{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is inside, looking bored. Three cans of "yella paint" are stacked next to him. Homestar walks up to the stand.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Say there, old Bubs! I need three cans of yella paint, and one pair of cool shades.
BUBS: Sorry, customer, I'm closed.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: But you're standing right there. And I see the yella paint right next to you.
BUBS: But I'm closed! Cutbacks, layoffs, downsizing, you know the drill.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {He looks over his shoulder, then looks back at Bubs.} Hey, Bubs, can you steal three cans of yella paint for me?
BUBS: I never pass up a chance to stick it to the man! Here you go! {He gives the cans of paint to Homestar.} I slipped the cool shades in the can number two.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, Bubs. Power to the people!
BUBS: I heard that!
{Cut to Homestar's silhouette walking away from the stand. We then cut to a close-up of Homestar walking in the field.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I think I'm gonna bust out my new cool shades. {He kneels down, opens one of the paint cans, and pulls out a pair of cool shades that are completely covered in paint. He puts them on.} Coool! Everything's yellow and drippy.
{Strong Sad enters.}
STRONG SAD: Hey, Homestar.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, hello, Dripping Yellow Madness!
STRONG SAD: What? I'm Strong Sad! Dripping Yellow Madness moved away after fifth grade!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Look, I'd love to stay and argue that you are in fact Dripping Yellow Madness, but this paint and I {He kicks one of the cans of paint} have a date with a wall!
STRONG SAD: I wish I had a date with a wall.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Go for it! Here. {He gives the paint cans to Strong Sad} You'll need these.
STRONG SAD: Oh!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: And, uh, good luck tonight.
{He makes a clicking sound with his mouth, then walks off. He lands in a small hole. There is a sign next to it that says "death hole" in Strong Bad's handwriting. Homestar screams while falling in and continues to scream after he's stopped falling. He's standing in a hole up to his neck.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {gradually getting quieter} Aaaaaaaaaaah...I'm at the bottom of a giant piiiit...
STRONG SAD: Homestar, take off those stupid cool shades.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, I should probably return these things.
STRONG SAD: {walking offscreen, singing} Oh, getting lucky tonight...
{Paint runs down the screen. When it is gone, we see a close-up of Homestar, still wearing the cool shades.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, friend. Lemme get my money back for these cool shades.
{The camera pulls back to reveal Homestar standing a bit too far away from Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is inside, and there's a banner on the stand that says "UNDER OLD MANAGEMENT!!"}
BUBS: Little bit closer, Homestar.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. {He walks closer, and walks past Bubs a bit. Bubs moves in front of him.} Lemme get my money back for these cool shades.
BUBS: Sure! You got your receipt?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, no. {He takes off his shades.} The sales representative I dealt with gave them to me...free of charge. I believe...his name was Stan.
BUBS: Stan?! I fired that guy after the fifth grade! Without a receipt, I can only exchange them for something of lesser or much lesser value. And the only thing that qualifies is this! {He holds up a bag with four grapes in it.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {He takes the bag} These'll do! These'll do juuust fine!
{Cut to Homestar's silhouette walking away from the stand. The sun is lower than before, and the sky is a purplish color. Cut to a view of Homestar walking into Marzipan's house, then cut to Marzipan's living room, where Marzipan, Strong Mad and The Cheat are standing in front of the wall with "Cool Tapes" written on it. Strong Mad has an electric bass, The Cheat has a drum kit, and Marzipan has Carol.}
MARZIPAN: All right, boys. From the top. {Homestar's silhouette appears in the foreground.} One, two—
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What in— {Cut to a close-up of Homestar's face. He looks angry.} —Pete Sampras is going on here?!?
{cut to a close-up of Marzipan's face.}
MARZIPAN: Well, you took too long, so Strong Mad, and The Cheat and I formed a band called Cool Tapes. {She smiles sheepishly.}
{Cut back to a still-angry Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, really?! What kind of...music do you play?!
{Cut to a wide shot of Marzipan, Strong Mad and The Cheat.}
MARZIPAN: Well, here, we'll show you. We only have one song so far, and it's not quite finished, but here goes. Ready, boys?
{Strong Mad, The Cheat and Marzipan all play their instruments.}
MARZIPAN: One, two, three four!
{singing}
Cool tapes are cool, 'cause they're where it is at,
Cool tapes are cool, and we like it like that!
Cool tapes! Cool tapes!
We like to get it down with the cool, cool tapes,
We like to get down with ...um... {the music stops} um...
HOMESTAR RUNNER: A bag of four grapes?
MARZIPAN: {music starts again, singing} A bag of four graaaaapes!
{We hear an audience cheering. Homestar pops up from the bottom of the screen and shakes the bag. A cassette tape appears in the foreground that reads "THE END." Homestar peeks through one of the holes in the cassette.}
Easter Eggs
- Click on "THE" on the cassette at the end to see a conversation with Strong Bad and The Cheat.
- {Strong Bad is lying on the couch in his basement, watching TV.}
- KID: {on TV} ...same truck that tried to kill my dad!
- {The Cheat enters, carrying his drumsticks.}
- STRONG BAD: Hey, The Cheat. We catch anything in the Death Hole today?
- THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}
- STRONG BAD: What? There's no way he could've been in there. He moved away after fifth grade!
- Click on "END" on the cassette at the end to see a T-shirt for Cool Tapes.
Fun Facts
Explanations
- A novella is a work of fiction intermediate in length and complexity
