Bug In Mouth Disease
From Homestar Runner Wiki
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==Transcript== | ==Transcript== | ||
- | + | ''{In the basement, Strong Sad is watching TV.}'' | |
+ | |||
+ | '''TV VOICE''': And that's why come Shakespeare was so awesome. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG SAD:''' Oh! I see now. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''(Strong Bad enters.}''' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Hey, Dairy Queen. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG SAD: I already told you, I don't want to be called that any more! I made a mistake! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, sorry, Dairy Queen. Anyways, look. I just thought you should know that all your underwears somehow ended up individually priced and labelled in an online auction. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG SAD:''' ''{gets up, runs out of the room}''' Nobody buy the blue ones! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' That was too easy. Now to settle down for the 24-hour Caleb Rentpayer marathon! ''{turns on the TV}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''TUCKSWORTH:''' Caleb, are you making a little tent out of my jacket? | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''CALEB:''' I am now. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, you make that little tent, Caleb! He's not the boss of you! | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Cut to the field. Homestar is running along.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{singing approximately to the tune of the Homestar Runner Theme Song}'' Homestar is running along. Homestar – ''{he suddenly stops and starts coughing profusely}'' Agh! I swallowed a bug! Bug swallow! Bug swallow! What do I do? What do I do? ''{composes himself}'' Okay, okay, calm down. Calm down. Remember health class. ''(goes down on one knee, speaks slowly and deliberately}'' Sir or madam, are you all right? Do you need medical resistance? ''{anguished}'' Oh, it's not working! The good times are over! ''{runs off}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Cut to another part of the field, where the King of Town and Pom Pom are eating chocolate lollipops.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''KING OF TOWN:''' I keep telling him the sun don't rise and set on that pile of whatsit, but he don't want to listen! | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Homestar runs in.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''POM POM:''' ''{greeting bubbling noises}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Pom Pom! Santa! I think I swallowed a bug! ''{kneels down in front of the King of Town}'' The good times are over! You gotta help me out! I could die! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''KING OF TOWN:''' Well, what do you want we should do? | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Give me them dang ice creams! ''{grabs the lollipops}'' We'll freeze them out! ''{scarfs the lollipops}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''KING OF TOWN:''' Hey! That stuff's prescription! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{sobs}'' It deliciously didn't work! ''{pokes Pom Pom with the lolly stick}'' Agh! ''(runs off}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Cut to the basement, where Strong Bad is still watching TV.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''CALEB:''' You throw like a girl, Tucksworth. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''TUCKSWORTH:''' Caleb, that suitcase was heavy. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Strong Sad enters.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG SAD:''' What online auction? I can't find anything. I even did an image search for "the blue ones" and got nothing. Or… nothing pleasant, anyway. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Well, keep searching. Try putting stuff in quotes or something. Or use "and" and "or". Oh yeah, and go away. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG SAD:''' Oh, Boolean operators! "Blue ''and'' ones"! Good idea! ''{walks off}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Cut to Bubs' concession stand. Bubs is burning an envelope labelled "EXHIBIT A" with a candle.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''BUBS:''' This is just fine! | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Homestar runs in and Bubs drops the candle and throws away the envelope.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Bubs, you're a doctor, right? A bug flew into the side of my mouth. I'm afraid the good times are over! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''BUBS:''' A doctor, eh? I think I might be one of those. Let me take a look. ''{examines a wad of business cards}'' Bail bondsman, paranormal investigator, normal investigator… Oh, here we go! "Dr." Bubs! Let's take a look atcha. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Aaaaah. ''{opens mouth}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''BUBS:''' Hmm… ''{peers inside; Homestar makes a noise}'' Yes. ''{Homestar makes a noise}'' Interesting. ''{Homestar makes a noise}'' I've got terrible, terrible news, Homestar. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh no! Is it about the good times? | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''BUBS:''' I'm afraid you've got no pancreas. But I do happen to have a fresh one for sale right here! ''{picks up a cooler labelled "EXHIBIT B" and places it on the counter}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Bubs, are you an unethical quack? | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''BUBS:''' The most quackinest! | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Cut to the basement, where Strong Bad is watching TV with a fork in his hand and a frying pan in his lap.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{imitating Tucksworth}'' Strong Caleb, did you make the best omelette ever during the commercial break? ''{imitating Caleb}'' I sure did. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Homestar runs in.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Strong Bad! I think I – | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''(silencing him}'' A-na-ma! Not today, McDorkell. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Homestar leaves then jumps in from the other side.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Strong Bad! I think a bug might have – | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Can't you see Grandma's watching her stories? | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Homestar leaves.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''TUCKSWORTH:''' Why aren't you breathing, Caleb? | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{pops up from behind the couch}'' Strong Bad – ''{Strong Bad hits him with his pan}'' Ugh. ''{falls down}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''ANNOUNCER:''' And coming up next on ''Caleb Rentpayer'', find out who shot Caleb. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' "Who shot Caleb?" Oh, there's no way I'm missing that one. No way. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Some time later, Homestar emerges from behind the couch.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{yawns}'' That was a great skillet nap! Thanks, Strong Bad. Strong Bad? | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Strong Bad is duct-taped to the TV.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Can't… miss… any of the action! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Strong Bad, the good times are over! I swallowed your computer! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' You've ''what''? ''{tears his head from the TV}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, I mean a small bug. I swallowed a small bug. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Aw. Now my head's not taped to the TV. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Strong Bad, I really need your help! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' And ''I'' really need to find out who shot Caleb Rentpayer! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Oh, that's easy. I did. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' You-ka – wha? | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''TUCKSWORTH:''' Homestar Runner, did you shoot Caleb? | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Homestar appears on the TV, wearing sunglasses.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' I sure did. | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' You traitor! You shot my favourite TV show! ''(throws the remote at Homestar's face}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Hiccup. ''(the bug flies out of his mouth}'' Hey, look at that! A little guy. A bug ''did'' fly in my mouth! | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG BAD:''' Ugh… the good times are ''definitely'' over. | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{Strong Sad runs in, wearing a blue pair of underwear.}'' | ||
+ | |||
+ | '''STRONG SAD:''' The world is saved! I found the blue ones! | ||
+ | |||
+ | ''{end.}'' | ||
==External Links== | ==External Links== |
Revision as of 16:56, 9 May 2005
Homestar swallows a bug and fears the end of the good times. Strong Bad is glued to the TV.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Sad, Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, The bug, The King of Town, Pom Pom, Bubs
Places: The Field, Strong Bad's Basement, Bubs' Concession Stand
Date: May 9, 2005
Running Time: 5:10
Page Title: Don't...kill...bugs.
Transcript
{In the basement, Strong Sad is watching TV.}
TV VOICE: And that's why come Shakespeare was so awesome.
STRONG SAD: Oh! I see now.
(Strong Bad enters.}
STRONG BAD: Hey, Dairy Queen.
STRONG SAD: I already told you, I don't want to be called that any more! I made a mistake!
STRONG BAD: Oh, sorry, Dairy Queen. Anyways, look. I just thought you should know that all your underwears somehow ended up individually priced and labelled in an online auction.
'STRONG SAD: {gets up, runs out of the room} Nobody buy the blue ones!
STRONG BAD: That was too easy. Now to settle down for the 24-hour Caleb Rentpayer marathon! {turns on the TV}
TUCKSWORTH: Caleb, are you making a little tent out of my jacket?
CALEB: I am now.
STRONG BAD: Yeah, you make that little tent, Caleb! He's not the boss of you!
{Cut to the field. Homestar is running along.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing approximately to the tune of the Homestar Runner Theme Song} Homestar is running along. Homestar – {he suddenly stops and starts coughing profusely} Agh! I swallowed a bug! Bug swallow! Bug swallow! What do I do? What do I do? {composes himself} Okay, okay, calm down. Calm down. Remember health class. (goes down on one knee, speaks slowly and deliberately} Sir or madam, are you all right? Do you need medical resistance? {anguished} Oh, it's not working! The good times are over! {runs off}
{Cut to another part of the field, where the King of Town and Pom Pom are eating chocolate lollipops.}
KING OF TOWN: I keep telling him the sun don't rise and set on that pile of whatsit, but he don't want to listen!
{Homestar runs in.}
POM POM: {greeting bubbling noises}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Pom Pom! Santa! I think I swallowed a bug! {kneels down in front of the King of Town} The good times are over! You gotta help me out! I could die!
KING OF TOWN: Well, what do you want we should do?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Give me them dang ice creams! {grabs the lollipops} We'll freeze them out! {scarfs the lollipops}
KING OF TOWN: Hey! That stuff's prescription!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {sobs} It deliciously didn't work! {pokes Pom Pom with the lolly stick} Agh! (runs off}
{Cut to the basement, where Strong Bad is still watching TV.}
CALEB: You throw like a girl, Tucksworth.
TUCKSWORTH: Caleb, that suitcase was heavy.
{Strong Sad enters.}
STRONG SAD: What online auction? I can't find anything. I even did an image search for "the blue ones" and got nothing. Or… nothing pleasant, anyway.
STRONG BAD: Well, keep searching. Try putting stuff in quotes or something. Or use "and" and "or". Oh yeah, and go away.
STRONG SAD: Oh, Boolean operators! "Blue and ones"! Good idea! {walks off}
{Cut to Bubs' concession stand. Bubs is burning an envelope labelled "EXHIBIT A" with a candle.}
BUBS: This is just fine!
{Homestar runs in and Bubs drops the candle and throws away the envelope.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bubs, you're a doctor, right? A bug flew into the side of my mouth. I'm afraid the good times are over!
BUBS: A doctor, eh? I think I might be one of those. Let me take a look. {examines a wad of business cards} Bail bondsman, paranormal investigator, normal investigator… Oh, here we go! "Dr." Bubs! Let's take a look atcha.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aaaaah. {opens mouth}
BUBS: Hmm… {peers inside; Homestar makes a noise} Yes. {Homestar makes a noise} Interesting. {Homestar makes a noise} I've got terrible, terrible news, Homestar.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh no! Is it about the good times?
BUBS: I'm afraid you've got no pancreas. But I do happen to have a fresh one for sale right here! {picks up a cooler labelled "EXHIBIT B" and places it on the counter}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Bubs, are you an unethical quack?
BUBS:' The most quackinest!
{Cut to the basement, where Strong Bad is watching TV with a fork in his hand and a frying pan in his lap.}
STRONG BAD: {imitating Tucksworth} Strong Caleb, did you make the best omelette ever during the commercial break? {imitating Caleb} I sure did.
{Homestar runs in.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad! I think I –
STRONG BAD: (silencing him} A-na-ma! Not today, McDorkell.
{Homestar leaves then jumps in from the other side.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad! I think a bug might have –
STRONG BAD: Can't you see Grandma's watching her stories?
{Homestar leaves.}
TUCKSWORTH: Why aren't you breathing, Caleb?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {pops up from behind the couch} Strong Bad – {Strong Bad hits him with his pan} Ugh. {falls down}
ANNOUNCER: And coming up next on Caleb Rentpayer, find out who shot Caleb.
STRONG BAD: "Who shot Caleb?" Oh, there's no way I'm missing that one. No way.
{Some time later, Homestar emerges from behind the couch.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {yawns} That was a great skillet nap! Thanks, Strong Bad. Strong Bad?
{Strong Bad is duct-taped to the TV.}
STRONG BAD: Can't… miss… any of the action!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad, the good times are over! I swallowed your computer!
STRONG BAD: You've what? {tears his head from the TV}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, I mean a small bug. I swallowed a small bug.
STRONG BAD: Aw. Now my head's not taped to the TV.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad, I really need your help!
STRONG BAD: And I really need to find out who shot Caleb Rentpayer!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, that's easy. I did.
STRONG BAD: You-ka – wha?
TUCKSWORTH: Homestar Runner, did you shoot Caleb?
{Homestar appears on the TV, wearing sunglasses.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I sure did.
STRONG BAD: You traitor! You shot my favourite TV show! (throws the remote at Homestar's face}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hiccup. (the bug flies out of his mouth} Hey, look at that! A little guy. A bug did fly in my mouth!
STRONG BAD: Ugh… the good times are definitely over.
{Strong Sad runs in, wearing a blue pair of underwear.}
STRONG SAD: The world is saved! I found the blue ones!
{end.}