That Time of Year
From Homestar Runner Wiki
A holiday kids book by Lem Sportsinterviews, reinterpreted by Strong Bad in the style of his kids' book.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad
Transcript
{A book is seen resting on a table. Its title is "That Time of Year". On the front there is a picture of a boy making a snowman, and holding a hat, with a sprig of holly at the top. A Cheap as Free logo is in the top left.}
VOICE OVER: That time of year, by Leomard
STRONG BAD: {quickly} Strong Bad!
VOICE OVER: Sportsinterviews.
{The book opens to show the first page, which features the same picture as the front cover. For all the pages, the voiceover reads the text, which then changes to an edited version which Strong bad reads.}
VOICE OVER: Decemberween is almost here. Get ready.
{The holly becomes edited to resemble a praying mantis and a pistol is drawn in the boy's hand.}
STRONG BAD: The Giant Mantis is almost here. Get ready to be pistol-whipped, snowman! Or... {eyes appear on the hat the boy is holding and a worm's body is drawn, attached to it} "Erweenga" is the name of the striped worm. Get dead, kid.
{The page turns to show a picture of a present, with a mouse wearing a Santa Claus hat pointing to it.}
VOICE OVER: Does the package have a
STRONG BAD: troll in it?
{a troll appears, peeping round the edge of the present}
VOICE OVER: doll in it? Or maybe
STRONG BAD: a troll?
{another one appears on the other side}
VOICE OVER: a train?
{The page turns to show a boy pulling a sledge and holding out his hand on a snow-covered landscape.}
VOICE OVER: Snow falls from the 'bove. It's cold when it snows.
{The falling snowflakes become the centres of eyeballs and a rat wearing a crown appears in the boy's hand.}
STRONG BAD: Now, a million eyeballs fall from the 'bove. The boy gets financial advice from the rat king. Or... {a black orb appears in the boy's hand and his face is shown to be on fire} Show the future, magic ball! It burns flesh when it glows.
{The page turns to show three adults singing at the end of a walled path, while a young girl peeps out from behind the legs of one of them. One of the adults is holding a candy cane.}
VOICE OVER: The Martins sing festive songs for the neighbors.
{A lampshade appears on one of the adults' head. Glasses of some alcholic beverage appear on the candy cane, in one person's hand and in the air. A spray paint can appears in the girl's hand and an image of Trogdor appears on the wall.}
STRONG BAD: The martinis have gone straight to their heads. The neigbors will probably call the cops.
{The page turns to show a wooly hat on a table next to a plate of seasonal biscuits. An arm is pointing to it.}
VOICE OVER: Wear a hat. Don't forget to wear a hat!
{Angry eyes, horns and a mouth with a forked tongue protruding from it appear on the hat. Copious jewellery appears on the hand.}
STRONG BAD: I swear that thing is evil. Liberace is fixing to lose a finger.
{The page turns to show a girl opening an oven, while a mouse in a Santa Claus hat looks on.}
VOICE OVER: Greta is making cookies. When will they be done?
{A punk hairstyle appears on Greta and a can of bug spray appears in her hand. She is spraying a cloud of it at the mouse.}
STRONG BAD: Greta is feeding the mouse bug spray. When will he be done for?
{The page turns to show people emerging from a store, carrying presents.}
VOICE OVER: The store is crowded with
{A face and robotic arms appear on the nearest stack of presents. An agonised expression appears on the man who is carrying them. Other robots appear in the background.}
STRONG BAD: robots bursting out of people. Oh the humanity!
VOICE OVER: {simultaneously} people buying things for other people. Oh boy!
{The page turns to show three children looking in at a stack of presents from another room.}
VOICE OVER: Decemberween is here. Decemberween is here. Today.
{A glowing aura appears around the presents and arms appear on the children's heads.}
STRONG BAD: Radioactivity is here. Growing arms out of heads is here. Today! Or... {Strong Bad appears, wrapping his arms around the presents.} I am here stealing your presents. Sorry kids, today is not your lucky day.
{The book closes}
Fun Facts
- If you look closely you can see the book belongs to Cherry Greg, a H*R director.
- Despite various debates about Cold Ones, the crack about martinis going to people's heads is an unquestionable alcohol reference
- After the Martins' page is turned, the text changes to "They sing pretty songs. Very pretty indeed!" while it turns.
- For people who don't know, Liberace was a professional piano player. Yes, those gold rings are real. He was very fond of his expensive jewelry.
- Strong Bad must be from the south. He says, "Liberace is FIXING TO lose a finger." The phrase "fixing to" is distinctly southern. The Brothers Chaps are from Georgia - a southern state.
- Whenever the page turns, a bell sound plays. This may be a reference to audiotaped versions of children's books, that play a sound whenever the reader is supposed to turn the page.
- The voice-over reading the original book sounds uncannily like Mike Chapman.
External Links
| Decemberween in July |
|---|
| Decemberween Teen Girl Squad | That Time of Year | Decemberween Sweet Cuppin' Cakes | Homestar and the Nice Present | Homestar vs. Little Girl | Seasonal Sweaters |
