retirement
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Strong Bad Email #159 |
|
retirement A and retirement B combined into one large e-mail!.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Marzipan, The King of Town, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Female Lappy 486, The Paper
Places: Computer Room, Carnival Tent, The Field
Computers: Compy 386, Lappy 486
Date: October 3, 2006
Running Time: 2:48
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
{Strong Bad is in front of the Compy. Despite the hole, he manages to type "strongbad_email.exe".}
STRONG BAD: {singing} There's a big ol' hole inside my email, makin' it hard to cheeeeck...
{He brings up the email. It is formatted around the hole.}
STRONG BAD: Oooh! Automatic hole formatting! {starts reading}
Dear Strong Bad,
I want to see you perform some amazing
feats of
wonder.
Very ser- iously,
Luke S.
{Strong Bad says "Double Dear Strong Bad" in place of the first line, and after reading "wonder", he comments "You mean, more amazing than checking an email on this computer?!" In place of the name, he says "Luke South".}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Well, I am very serious too. Serious about the most incredible, tantalizing, pants-defying, mind-googling sights in the whole world!! {stops typing} Lalalalalalaaaa!
{Cut back to show the whole computer room. A boater hat falls on his head and a cane into his hand.}
STRONG BAD: Ladies and Luke, I give you...
{The Computer Room rises, as if it were a theater curtain, revealing a carnival tent.}
STRONG BAD: {as a sideshow caller} Strong Bad's Amazing Feats of Wonder! {Strong Bad appears in the foreground} Gawk and squawk as I walk and talk like an old-timey sideshow caller, and add "Lalalalalaa" to the end of everything I say lalalalalalaaa!
{Strong Bad ducks down. Cut to inside the tent.}
STRONG BAD: First, in our gallery of ocular oddities, is a contortionist with a twist!
{He moves away, revealing a curtain painted with "MARZiPAN - SHE-TYPE! KA-RAZY?"}
STRONG BAD: Feast your Dust Bowl-ravaged eyes on {Curtain lifts, revealing Marzipan with her hair tied up.} Marzipan, the Human Woo-man {rolls the next "R"} Rrrrrotini!
{A logo for "The Human Woo-man Rotini" appears. Marzipan curls her neck like a spring. The audience makes amazed sounds.}
STRONG BAD: Behold! An ocean of pesto!
{Green liquid flies in from offscreen and lands on Marzipan.}
MARZIPAN: That's not part of my act!
{Cut to The King of Town, with some of the green liquid dribbling down from his moustache.}
THE KING OF TOWN: I know! It's a part of mine lalalalalalalaaa!
{He sucks in the liquid. Cut back to Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: Now, direct your attention to the Pee Wee Stage...
{Again, Strong Bad moves aside. Now the curtain shows "THE CHEAT - AND HOW! PART ANVIL?"}
STRONG BAD: ...where the flea circus has left town, and the inmates are restless!
{The audience ooohs as the curtain is lifted, showing a manacled The Cheat.}
STRONG BAD: Gather strong at The Cheat's Flea Prison Riot!
{As the above words appear, a magnifying glass focuses on The Cheat and zooms in on a tiny prison in his fur, where a number of small black dots are rioting and squabbling. The prison has some flames coming out of the windows, and a siren is heard. Cut back to Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: And lastly, so ghastly, the ate-thh wonder of the world!
{Cut to curtain showing "Strong Mad - ATE THH! NECK?"}
STRONG BAD: House-mouth!!!
{The curtain lifts, showing Strong Mad in a loincloth. A "HOUSE-MOUTH" logo appears. The audience gasps.}
STRONG MAD: DAAAAH!! {Opens his mouth very wide, taking up most of his body and creating the shape of a house.}
STRONG BAD: {popping in from the side of the screen} This land-locked leviathan conveniently subsists only on outdated electronics!
{He ducks away as the Compy is thrown in Strong Mad's mouth. He closes his mouth. A second later, he jumps a bit as a sparking sound is heard. Strong Mad gulps it down.}
STRONG BAD: {popping in again, and throwing his hat and cane} We did it!!! Lalalalalalalaaaa!
{The scene again rises like a curtain, revealing the Computer Room. The Lappy is in its place at the desk.}
STRONG BAD: The Lappy! You're back...y! You and I have some unfinished business, little lady!
{Strong Bad sits down. Cut to the Lappy's screen.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} There ya go, Jake-ula. Now all the cliffhangers have been for reallysolved. Okay, Lappy, I hope your battery's charged, {music starts} cuz I'm finally taking you out for those hush-puppies you always wanted!!!
{He picks up the Lappy and walks off. Cut to a silhouette of Strong Bad holding the Lappy and walking across the sunset. Ghostly images of the Tandy and Compy appear over his head. The music suddenly stops with a record scratch.}
FEMALE LAPPY 486: But Strong Bad, I'm hate hushpuppies!
STRONG BAD: Man, I coulda sworn one of you guys liked hushpuppies.
{The Paper comes down, reading "It was me. I like hushpuppies." The music starts again. It eventually stops again with a record scratch.}
FEMALE LAPPY 486: Can we please find my toe?
{Strong Bad stops walking and looks up toward the ghostly images, which speed away.}
