4 Gregs

From Homestar Runner Wiki

(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(→Transcript: Gee, what a shock, D N'D Greg knows how to play a game.)
Line 88: Line 88:
'''JAPANESE CULTURE GREG:''' Is it anything like drift racing?
'''JAPANESE CULTURE GREG:''' Is it anything like drift racing?
 +
 +
'''SCIENCE FICTION GREG:''' Uh, I think there are some foots ''{said to rhyme with "loots"}''... and uh... perchance a balls?
 +
 +
''{Cut to a closeup of D N'D Greg. He's smiling and has sharp teeth. A scroll appears next to him, which has the following written on it:}''
 +
 +
<blockquote>The offensive team has 4<br/>
 +
chances to advance the ball<br/>
 +
10 yards at a time with the<br/>
 +
objective being to cross the<br/>
 +
opposing teams<!--sic--> goal line<br/>
 +
using either running plays<br/>
 +
or passing plays or any<br/>
 +
combination thereof.</blockquote>
 +
 +
'''D N'D GREG:''' The offensive team has four chances to advance the ball ten yards at a time with the objective being...
 +
 +
''{The other two Gregs are visibly confused. D N'D Greg looks at them with annoyance. Crickets chirp.}''
 +
 +
'''SCIENCE FICTION GREG:''' It's like I don't even know you anymore.
 +
 +
'''D N'D GREG:''' Fantasy football still counts as fantasy!
 +
 +
''{Open Source Greg appears, holding a box of food.}''
 +
 +
'''OPEN SOURCE GREG:''' Gentlemen, I've taken advantage in a security flaw in the concession stand mainframe and bit-torrented us some Sugar Daddys and hot dogs!
 +
 +
'''JAPANESE CULTURE GREG:''' But the concession stand is just some booster club okasan ''{the word in the text bubble is "moms" until he gets to it; his face returns to the "anime" style on that word alone}'' with a shoebox full of ones.
 +
 +
'''OPEN SOURCE GREG:''' Then who did I launch my denial of service attack against?
 +
 +
''{Cut to a drawing of a computer screen. The computer is in a browser, on the page "www.tompkins.tv", which is for "Tompkins' Hot Lady Escort Service". Tompkins' face is in the middle of the screen. The page has been viewed "2.4" times.}''
 +
 +
'''NARRATOR STRONG BAD:''' ''{in a high-pitched voice; the word appears across the screen as he says it}'' HAXXORED!!!
 +
 +
'''TOMPKINS:''' Ow! All my client!
 +
 +
''{Cut back to the game. D N'D and Science Fiction Greg are in the background, as Cheerleader and a short bespectacled girl in braces walk by.}''
 +
 +
'''CHEERLEADER:''' Didja hear when we walked through the seniors' section? That one boy only got BOTH my names wrong!
 +
 +
'''SHORT GIRL:''' You have been chosen.
 +
 +
'''SCIENCE FICTION GREG:''' Uh, Cheerleader, shouldn't you be out&mdash;
 +
 +
''{Cut to a closeup of his mouth, showing misshapen teeth.}''
 +
 +
'''SCIENCE FICTION GREG:''' Uuuuuhhhhhh...
 +
 +
''{Cut back.}''
 +
 +
'''SCIENCE FICTION GREG:''' &mdash;leading cheers?
 +
 +
'''CHEERLEADER:''' No, I'm more a cheerleader in the way I dress... and in the way I treat other girls.
 +
 +
'''SHORT GIRL:''' That's right.
 +
 +
'''CHEERLEADER:''' ''{smacks the short girl, yelling:}'' YOU DON'T SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO!
 +
 +
''{Cut to a ratty-looking mascot.}''
 +
 +
'''MASCOT:''' COME ON GROWLBACKS! WE'RE NOT DEAD! AT LEAST TRY TO BEAT THE SPREAD!
 +
 +
''{He does a cartwheel near an exasperated-looking color guard member.}''
 +
 +
'''MASCOT:''' YAAAAY!
 +
 +
''{Cut to D N'D Greg.}''
 +
 +
'''D N'D GREG:''' That level 4 shambling Krenshar is attacking that slightly attractive, slightly overweight color guard maiden!
 +
 +
''{He is then seen stomping on the mascot. The color guard member smirks lightly.}''
 +
 +
'''MASCOT:''' Oh! Crap! Dang! Ribs! Oof!
 +
 +
''{He takes off the mascot head.}''
 +
 +
'''REGULAR GREG:''' Stop! It's just me, Regular Greg from AP Calculus!
 +
 +
'''D N'D GREG:''' Trying to take human form, eh?

Revision as of 08:24, 16 February 2009

The four Gregs go to a football game.

Cast (in order of appearance): Science Fiction Greg, D N'D Greg, Open Source Greg, Japanese Culture Greg

Places:

Date: Monday, February 16, 2009

Running Time:

Page Title: I knew they'd come back to me...

Transcript

This transcript is in progress.
Jay (Talk | contribs) is currently adding or changing substantial content. As a courtesy, until this tag is removed please do not edit this transcript unless absolutely necessary.
To the person working: This tag is not a claim to the transcript that you can leave and come back to later. You are expected to be adding or changing content right now. You should save your progress periodically (about every 15 to 30 minutes) or indicate in some way that you are still working, or else the tag should be removed so that other users may edit the transcript.


{"4 Gregs" appears in the center of the screen.}

TEEN GIRL SQUAD VOICE: Four Gregs!

{The numbers 1, 2, 3, and 5 appear, and each number is crossed out over the next line.}

TEEN GIRL SQUAD VOICE: Not one, not two, not three, not five...

{"4 Gregs" appears again.}

TEEN GIRL SQUAD VOICE: Four Gregs!

{Science Fiction Greg appears, holding a bubbly-looking toy gun.}

TEEN GIRL SQUAD VOICE: Sci Fi Greg! One Greg!

{Science Fiction Greg holds up one finger. Cut to D N'D Greg holding a twenty-sided die.}

TEEN GIRL SQUAD VOICE: D N'D Greg! Two Gregs!

{D N'D Greg holds up two fingers. Cut to Open Source Greg holding a laptop.}

TEEN GIRL SQUAD VOICE: Open Source Greg! Three Gregs!

{Open Source Greg holds up three fingers. Cut to Japanese Culture Greg, holding an anime-like action figure.}

TEEN GIRL SQUAD VOICE: Japanese Culture Greg, four Gregs! {Japanese Culture Greg holds up four fingers.} Four Gregs!

{"4 Gregs" appears again. Cut to the four Gregs standing together.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Shields up, everyone. I figured out what we're doing tonight, and it's not any of the stuff you're about to suggest.

D N'D GREG: Play some serious tabletop—

JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: Staring at vinyl figurines?

OPEN SOURCE GREG: Downloading several hours of—

ALL GREGS EXCEPT SCI-FI GREG: {disappointed} Oh.

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Tonight, new Earthlings... tonight, we go... TO A VARSITY FOOTBALL GAME!

OTHER THREE GREGS: {gasp, with the word "Gasp!" drawn above them}

D N'D GREG: Into the dragon's lair?

{The text bubble remains the same but points to Japanese Culture Greg, with the word "Robotic" inserted into the sentence as he says it.}

JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: Into the robotic dragon's lair?

OPEN SOURCE GREG: Into the Apple store? {As he says "Apple", the text bubble has a "bite" taken out of it, and a leaf appears on it.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: That's right. It's the one time we can co-exist at the same social function with football players, but they will be powerless to ridicule and/or wedgie us!

D N'D GREG: Revenge is at hand!

OPEN SOURCE GREG: Huzzah!

JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: {his head suddenly looks extremely animeish} Otaku!

{Cut to the back of a football player wearing a jersey that reads "AT THE GAME", with "888" written below it. Then cut to a set of stands. All of the Gregs except Open Source Greg are visible.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Here we are. In the middle of it all!

{Cut back to show that the three Gregs are sitting in the corner of the stands, and there is a huge radius around them where no one else is sitting; the stands are otherwise packed. There are 14:54 left on the clock, the Growlbacks have "000000" points, and the "Visitor" has 24 points.}

CROWD: YAY!!!

JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: How does football work again?

{Cut to a closeup of the Gregs.}

JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: Is it anything like drift racing?

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Uh, I think there are some foots {said to rhyme with "loots"}... and uh... perchance a balls?

{Cut to a closeup of D N'D Greg. He's smiling and has sharp teeth. A scroll appears next to him, which has the following written on it:}

The offensive team has 4
chances to advance the ball
10 yards at a time with the
objective being to cross the
opposing teams goal line
using either running plays
or passing plays or any
combination thereof.

D N'D GREG: The offensive team has four chances to advance the ball ten yards at a time with the objective being...

{The other two Gregs are visibly confused. D N'D Greg looks at them with annoyance. Crickets chirp.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: It's like I don't even know you anymore.

D N'D GREG: Fantasy football still counts as fantasy!

{Open Source Greg appears, holding a box of food.}

OPEN SOURCE GREG: Gentlemen, I've taken advantage in a security flaw in the concession stand mainframe and bit-torrented us some Sugar Daddys and hot dogs!

JAPANESE CULTURE GREG: But the concession stand is just some booster club okasan {the word in the text bubble is "moms" until he gets to it; his face returns to the "anime" style on that word alone} with a shoebox full of ones.

OPEN SOURCE GREG: Then who did I launch my denial of service attack against?

{Cut to a drawing of a computer screen. The computer is in a browser, on the page "www.tompkins.tv", which is for "Tompkins' Hot Lady Escort Service". Tompkins' face is in the middle of the screen. The page has been viewed "2.4" times.}

NARRATOR STRONG BAD: {in a high-pitched voice; the word appears across the screen as he says it} HAXXORED!!!

TOMPKINS: Ow! All my client!

{Cut back to the game. D N'D and Science Fiction Greg are in the background, as Cheerleader and a short bespectacled girl in braces walk by.}

CHEERLEADER: Didja hear when we walked through the seniors' section? That one boy only got BOTH my names wrong!

SHORT GIRL: You have been chosen.

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Uh, Cheerleader, shouldn't you be out—

{Cut to a closeup of his mouth, showing misshapen teeth.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: Uuuuuhhhhhh...

{Cut back.}

SCIENCE FICTION GREG: —leading cheers?

CHEERLEADER: No, I'm more a cheerleader in the way I dress... and in the way I treat other girls.

SHORT GIRL: That's right.

CHEERLEADER: {smacks the short girl, yelling:} YOU DON'T SPEAK UNLESS SPOKEN TO!

{Cut to a ratty-looking mascot.}

MASCOT: COME ON GROWLBACKS! WE'RE NOT DEAD! AT LEAST TRY TO BEAT THE SPREAD!

{He does a cartwheel near an exasperated-looking color guard member.}

MASCOT: YAAAAY!

{Cut to D N'D Greg.}

D N'D GREG: That level 4 shambling Krenshar is attacking that slightly attractive, slightly overweight color guard maiden!

{He is then seen stomping on the mascot. The color guard member smirks lightly.}

MASCOT: Oh! Crap! Dang! Ribs! Oof!

{He takes off the mascot head.}

REGULAR GREG: Stop! It's just me, Regular Greg from AP Calculus!

D N'D GREG: Trying to take human form, eh?

Retrieved from "http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/4_Gregs"
Personal tools