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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail172.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="16" end="76" speaker="strongbad">Bring to me a suitable email, that I may check it down.</line>
<line start="76" end="90" speaker="strongbad">"Mere Strong Bad"-- <span style="visibility:hidden">Hey, I am no mere Strong Bad, okay?!</span></line>
<line start="90" end="126" speaker="strongbad">"Mere Strong Bad"-- Hey, I am no mere Strong Bad, okay?!</line>
<line start="126" end="164" speaker="strongbad">"I have three sons that wish to join the Strong Badia army."</line>
<line start="164" end="224" speaker="strongbad">"Do you have any pamphlets, brochures, video information that could assist"?</line>
<line start="224" end="263" speaker="strongbad">"Yours, Paul Perth, Western Australia."</line>
<line start="263" end="302" speaker="strongbad">Look, Perthy Paul, I've been over this already:</line>
<line start="302" end="339" speaker="strongbad">Strong Badia doesn't have-slash-need an army.</line>
<line start="339" end="405" speaker="strongbad">When we need muscle, we farm it out to our favorite band of shady missionaries.</line>
<line start="405" end="441" speaker="strongbad">Er, I mean mercenaries. <i>MERCENARIES!</i></line>
<line start="441" end="486" speaker="strongbad">In fact, if your sons are so bonzer to enlist...</line>
<line start="486" end="543" speaker="strongbad">...they can just swing by their booth at our Vaguely Military Career Fair...</line>
<line start="543" end="580" speaker="strongbad">...which just happens to be starting right now!</line>
<line start="580" end="599" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line>
<line start="599" end="649" speaker="strongbad">Oh. It's not for three weeks. Okay.</line>
<!-- 2 weeks later -->
<!--<line start="654" end="666" speaker="text">2 weeks later...</line>-->
<line start="668" end="680" speaker="strongbad">Introducing <span style="visibility:hidden">Tito the Tophaticent!</span></line>
<line start="680" end="705" speaker="strongbad">Introducing Tito the Tophaticent!</line>
<line start="705" end="725" speaker="strongbad">Introducing Tito the Tophaticent!<br/>And his beautiful assistant, <span style="visibility:hidden">Strong Mad with two basketballs shoved down his singlet!</span></line>
<line start="725" end="771" speaker="strongbad">Introducing Tito the Tophaticent!<br/>And his beautiful assistant, Strong Mad with two basketballs shoved down his singlet!</line>
<line start="771" end="794" speaker="strongsad">Yay!!</line>
<!-- 1 week later -->
<!--<line start="795" end="808" speaker="text">1 week later...</line>-->
<line start="809" end="885" speaker="strongbad">Excuse me, Ganglo-Saxon. You look like the type of kid that gets his lunch handed to him daily.</line>
<line start="885" end="928" speaker="strongbad">Well, if you'd like to be the lunch-handerer for a change...</line>
<line start="928" end="976" speaker="strongbad">...then boy, do the On Point Kings have a brochure for you!</line>
<line start="976" end="1023" speaker="strongbad">It's a Roman trifold printed on 65-pound cardstock.</line>
<line start="1023" end="1072" speaker="strongbad">14-point Helvetica, laid out using Quark Xpress!</line>
<line start="1072" end="1115" speaker="strongbad">A pirated <i>version</i> of Quark Xpress!</line>
<line start="1115" end="1145" speaker="strongbad">We specialize in black ops, <span style="visibility:hidden">brown ops, and the occasional beige op.</span></line>
<line start="1145" end="1158" speaker="strongbad">We specialize in black ops, brown ops, <span style="visibility:hidden">and the occasional beige op.</span></line>
<line start="1158" end="1182" speaker="strongbad">We specialize in black ops, brown ops, and the occasional beige op.</line>
<line start="1182" end="1224" speaker="strongbad">Come on, The Cheat! Go for sixies! Sixies!</line>
<line start="1224" end="1228" sfx="sfx">static</line>
<line start="1228" end="1271" speaker="strongbad">How do you ever expect to get an eye patch, mustache...</line>
<line start="1271" end="1312" speaker="strongbad">...or robotic arm like this-- clank, clank--</line>
<line start="1312" end="1370" speaker="strongbad">unless you join up with a shady band of missionaries?</line>
<line start="1370" end="1437" speaker="strongbad">Oh, crap, I did it again! Mercenaries, I meant mercenaries! We do bad stuff!</line>
<!--<line start="1450" end="1494" speaker="text">Out to lunch, watch video</line>-->
<line start="1494" end="1498" sfx="sfx">static</line>
<line start="1498" end="1556" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">The drive... The power... The skills...</line>
<line start="1556" end="1599" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">The motivation... the power again...</line>
<line start="1599" end="1641" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">The fortitude... The strive...</line>
<line start="1641" end="1695" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">The ideals... The list of attributes...</line>
<line start="1695" end="1730" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">The Municipality.</line>
<line start="1730" end="1743" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">The Municipality.<br/>Honor. <span style="visibility:hidden">Valor. Buttor.</span></line>
<line start="1743" end="1762" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">The Municipality.<br/>Honor. Valor. <span style="visibility:hidden">Buttor.</span></line>
<line start="1762" end="1790" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">The Municipality.<br/>Honor. Valor. Buttor.</line>
<line start="1790" end="1794" sfx="sfx">static</line>
<line start="1794" end="1803"><!--<text>Not free popcorn, memorial statue</text>--><homestar>Say, young man!</homestar></line>
<line start="1803" end="1839"><!--<text>Not free popcorn, memorial statue</text>--><homestar>Say, young man!<br/>Say, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man, young man!</homestar></line>
<line start="1839" end="1879" speaker="homestar">You look like you come from a long line of five bucks-havers.</line>
<line start="1879" end="1925" speaker="homestar">Well, the Homestarmy has a career for <i>you</i> in the no-armed forces!</line>
<line start="1925" end="1971" speaker="homestar">Say, you good at video games? I'm not good at video games.</line>
<line start="1971" end="2031" speaker="homestar">The last time I fired up one of my old Sega tapes, it made me a waffle.</line>
<line start="2031" end="2046" speaker="homestar">Say, you like pamphlets? <span style="visibility:hidden">Here's a pamphlet! Here's two pamphlets!</span></line>
<line start="2046" end="2056" speaker="homestar">Say, you like pamphlets? Here's a pamphlet! <span style="visibility:hidden">Here's two pamphlets!</span></line>
<line start="2056" end="2074" speaker="homestar">Say, you like pamphlets? Here's a pamphlet! Here's two pamphlets!</line>
<line start="2074" end="2093" speaker="homestar">Say, you got a girlfriend?</line>
<line start="2093" end="2143" speaker="homestar">Well, what if your girlfriend was a wooden spoon and an orange plastic bowl?</line>
<line start="2143" end="2191" speaker="homestar">That'd be really weird, man. What kind of screwed-up kid are you?</line>
<line start="2191" end="2227" speaker="homestar">We don't recruit your kind! Get out of here!</line>
<line start="2227" end="2248" speaker="strongbad">So that's fair, right Dinkum?</line>
<line start="2248" end="2311" speaker="strongbad">You send your coolest son off to join the On Point Kings, he'll have to be jumped in.</line>
<line start="2311" end="2350" speaker="strongbad">You send your fat son off to join The Municipality,</line>
<line start="2350" end="2384" speaker="strongbad"> he'll have to be pooped in.</line>
<line start="2384" end="2448" speaker="strongbad">And then you send your step-headed red-child off to certain doom in the Homestarmy.</line>
<line start="2448" end="2479" speaker="strongbad">He's gonna wanna be jumped out.</line>
<line start="2479" end="2515" speaker="strongbad">Well, I gotta go find the bicycle pump.</line>
<line start="2515" end="2565" speaker="strongbad">Tito the Tophaticent's beautiful assistant's looking a little... <span style="visibility:hidden">lopsided.</span></line>
<line start="2565" end="2582" speaker="strongbad">Tito the Tophaticent's beautiful assistant's looking a little... lopsided.</line>
<line start="2582" end="2600" sfx="sfx">The Geddup Noise</line>
<line start="2600" end="2621" speaker="thepaper">distorted Preeeeow</line>
<line start="2630" end="2660" speaker="strongbad"><i>Oh.</i> That's a bad sign.</line>

<!-- Easter eggs -->
<line start="2665" end="2690">
<!--<text>Meet TV's Firebert!</text>-->
<sfx>crickets chirping</sfx>
<line start="2690" end="2720">
<!--<text>Meet TV's Firebert!</text>-->
<sfx>crickets chirping</sfx>
<line start="2720" end="2734">
<!--<text>Meet TV's Firebert!</text>-->
<sfx>crickets chirping</sfx>
<thecheat>angry The Cheat noise</thecheat>
<line start="2734" end="2753">
<!--<text>Meet TV's Firebert!</text>-->
<sfx>crickets chirping</sfx>
<line start="2753" end="2767">
<!--<text>Meet TV's Trogdor!</text>-->
<sfx>crickets chirping</sfx>
<thecheat>satisfied The Cheat noise</thecheat>
<line start="2767" end="2785">
<!--<text>Meet TV's Trogdor!</text>-->
<sfx>running steps</sfx>
<line start="2785" end="2812">
<!--<text>Meet TV's Trogdor!</text>-->
<sfx>crowd murmuring</sfx>
<other voiceover="voiceover">It's Trogdor, man it's Trogdor.</other>
<other voiceover="voiceover">He looks taller.</other>
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