your edge

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Strong Bad Email #197
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"Look at this arsenal of edge-havery!"

Gee Tee is worried that Strong Bad might be losing his edge.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Strong Mad (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, The Field, Strong Sad's Room, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Living Room of the Brothers Strong

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, July 21, 2008

Running Time: 4:00

Page Title: Lappy 486

Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Another freakin' email, another freakin' email song.

{Strong Bad pronounces the hyphen as "minus", "heven't" as spelled, and "shennanigans" [sic] as "she-ne-ne-nanigans" He expands "yours etc" as "yours, his, hers, mine, ours". He also pronounces the name and place of the sender in a very rushed voice.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Losing our edge?! That's ridiculous. Our shenanigans make the cover of Have Edge Times Magazine like every month! Like the other day. Me and The Cheat—

{scene cuts to The Field. We see Strong Bad and The Cheat approaching a deflated basketball lying on the ground}

STRONG BAD: {as voiceover} —walked past this deflated basketball and consciously decided not to reinflate it!

STRONG BAD: So what do you think, man?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: OK, now we're talkin'. Let's get out of here before the cops come! {Dances nervously}

{Strong Bad and The Cheat run off to the right. Scene cuts back to Strong Bad in front of computer.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} And then yesterday, we feathered—

{scene cuts to Strong Sad's bedroom, where Strong Bad and The Cheat are standing on the bed and throwing feathers from a torn pillow at Strong Sad, whose right side is only just visible at the right of the screen. The Cheat makes little excited noises, and Strong Sad produces quiet, bored-sounding "ow"s.}

STRONG BAD: {as voiceover} —the living crap out of Strong Sad!

STRONG BAD: You said it The Cheat! Tar is prohibitively expensive!

{Scene cuts back to Strong Bad in front of computer}

STRONG BAD: {typing} But edgiest of all, THIS MORNING, we spread mayonnaise—

{scene cuts to Strong Bad and The Cheat in the Basement, spreading Fluffy Puff Mayonnaise onto the tops of cardboard boxes}

STRONG BAD: {as voiceover} —on all these cardboard boxes, man. And then waited like, thirty minutes to clean it all up,—

{clockwise-wipe reveals basement with mayonaise gone, Strong Bad vacuuming, and The Cheat spraying air-freshener. Room twinkles occasionally.}

STRONG BAD: —vacuum, and use air-freshener to get rid of any undesirable odors left by the mayonaise!

{cut back to Strong Bad at computer}

STRONG BAD: Thirty whole minutes! Can you be— yeah, okay, we're losing our edge. The Cheat, get in here!

{The Cheat appears, wearing an apron}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises, with a melodic tone}

STRONG BAD: Take that thing off!

THE CHEAT: {disappointed The Cheat noise}

STRONG BAD: No, it is not "pretend-we're-Grandmas-baking" time! And it'll never be again! {sotto voce} See me after this email.

{The Cheat removes apron}

STRONG BAD: No, it's time to do some real damage, The Cheat! It's time to get our shenan on! Again!

THE CHEAT: {enthusiastic The Cheat noise}

{left wipe reveals Strong Bad and The Cheat in a room with stacks of eggs in cartons, several battle-axes, a stack of paper towel rolls, and two bottles of "Lite Em Up Dan"-brand lighter fluid near the wall, and a saw, a casserole, and gasoline can on the floor.}

STRONG BAD: Oh yeah, look at this arsenal of edge-haver-y right here, man. We can't go wrong!

THE CHEAT: {questioning The Cheat noise}

STRONG BAD: You know, shenanigans! Like, uh, you start sawin' a hole in the floor, and I'll stomp on this casserole.

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noise}

{Strong Bad stomps on casserole while The Cheat saws a hole in the floor around him}

STRONG BAD: Ah ha ha! Sorry, casserole, your crusty layer of fried onions is no match for my— {screams}

{Strong Bad, The Cheat, and the gasoline can fall through the hole in the floor}

{Scene change to a pitch-black room. Nothing can be seen besides Strong Bad's and The Cheat's eyes, which appear white with black pupils.}

STRONG BAD: {moan, followed by "yugga-da-yugga" noise of lips flapping while head is shaken vigorously} Whoa, where are we? I suddenly feel so ... easy to animate.

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noise}

STRONG BAD: I dunno man, but we gotta stay edgy. We can't let this deep, dark hole get us down in a deep, dark hole. Here, lemme kick you. That's a classic shenani-move. {grunts}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noise}

{Strong Bad's eyes move in a way consistent with him winding up to kick The Cheat. The Cheat's eyes move in a way consistent with him backing up slightly. Strong Bad's eyes then flip around and lower in a way consistent with him flipping over and then falling to the floor.}

STRONG BAD: {yells, and then a different grunt} Geez, Lucy, hold still!

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noise}

{Strong Bad's left eye disappears; in its place a round white ball appears of roughly the same size. It falls from Strong Bad's face level and rolls away on the floor.}

STRONG BAD: Ow, my eye!

THE CHEAT: {scream-like The Cheat noise}

{Strong Bad's left eye reappears, opening}

STRONG BAD: Naw, just kiddin'. It's a ping-pong ball.

{Another white ball appears from the level of Strong Bad's pants}

STRONG BAD: I always keep a spare pack {a cluster of similar balls appears from Strong Bad's hip-level} in my pants. {White balls disperse and roll away on the floor.} Some would say "pocket"; I say: "in my pants".

{Faint light appears from above}

STRONG SAD: Hello? Is somebody down there?

{cut to Strong Sad looking at the hole from above}

STRONG BAD: Go away, Strong Sad! The Cheat and I are down here shenanigan-ing each other in the dark alone by ourselves.

STRONG SAD: Uh, are you sure you wanna go on record with that explanation?

{cut back to dark hole}

STRONG BAD: Of course! I don't see how that could possibly be taken out of context! Now either violently throw yourself in here, or scram-oose!

{cut back to Strong Sad}

STRONG SAD: Fine! But I wasn't the one who—

STRONG BAD: Hey wait! Could you get on the internet and look up if cutting a hole in your own floor is edgy?

STRONG SAD: Ah, sure. {mimes typing} Tappity-tappity-tap. Yeah, I just checked. It is.

STRONG BAD: Awesome, I thought so!

{cut back to dark hole}

STRONG BAD: Where'd you check, like "Have Most Edge Guy" or edgetangle.com, one o' those?

{cut back to Strong Sad}

STRONG SAD: Yup, all the most popular sites. Uh, they recommend staying in the hole for a few days too. So I can finish my novelle-ique.

{cut back to dark hole}

STRONG BAD: Oh, cool! I mean, we've got foot-stomp casserole down here, so we should be good! Could you toss down something to drink though?

{cut back to Strong Sad, who walks away to the left}

STRONG BAD:: Strong Sad? Ah, never mind, we'll just drink that gasoline. Doesn't get edgier than that, right?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noise}

STRONG BAD: High-five, The Cheat!

{The Cheat's eyes move in a manner consistent with him jumping up to slap Strong Bad's raised hand}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noise}

STRONG BAD: {grumbles} Thinks we're losing our edge. Pfft!

{New Paper comes down, but it is too dark to see it.}

Easter Eggs

Edge-Losers or Edge-Havers?
  • Clicking "Have Edge Times Magazine" at the beginning shows Strong Bad and The Cheat on the cover of Have Edge Times magazine.
  • At the end, click Strong Bad's left eye to see what happens 3 hours later.
THE CHEAT: {In an imitation of a grandmother}
STRONG BAD: {Also in an imitation of a grandmother} Oh, Adelaide, you devil! Substituting bacon grease for butter? If my Wilbur only knew...
{Lights turn on, revealing the basement of the Brothers Strong with the circle of floor sitting on Strong Mad's head.}
STRONG MAD: WOULD YOU PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN?
  • At the end, click The Cheat's eyes to see Strong Sad on the cover of Have Edge Times magazine.

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • "scram-oose" is a portmanteau of "scram" and "vamoose", both slang terms meaning "go away".

Remarks

  • The senders city of Los Burbankos, CA doesn't exist, but probably refers to Burbank.
  • When Strong Bad and The Cheat are in the hole, they both seem to have Bubs' smaller eye as their pupils.
  • The font on the invisible Paper seems to be that of the old Paper.
  • If you click the Easter egg to show Strong Sad's Have Edge Times cover, the New Paper's mouseover will appear on top of it rather than under it.

Inside References

Real-world References

  • Lucy, a character from the Peanuts comic strip, famously held a football to be kicked by Charlie Brown only to pull it away at the last second in many strips in the series.

External Links

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