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Strong Bad Email #183
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"Never before had two chairs and a potted plant so transformed the wrestling ring!"

Strong Bad demonstrates various costumes and gimmicks from his wrestling career.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Sad, The King of Town, Homestar Runner, The Announcer, Strong Mad, The Cheat, Gary the Legend

Places: Computer Room, Gymnasium, The Field (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Running Time: 4:41

Page Title: Lappy 486

Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Emailin' from the left and to the right, emailin' on a Tuuuuesday night!

{After "Strong Bad", Strong Bad says "Period. That's the best sentence ever written!" He reads the location as "Best friends never, South Africa".}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well Gardenboy, as a crafty ring veteran, I can let you in on a little secret: being an awesome wrestler has nothing to do with awesome wrestling moves! {clears screen} It's all about awesome costumes, gimmicks, and dinosaur tranquilizer fueled ranting and raving! I got my first big break with cable access's longest named wrestling organization: All World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment, or AWMPSCE. {pronounces "OMP-skee"} Of course, they wanted me to be one of those lame masked wrestlers at first, but I had gimmickier plans.

{Cut to a photograph of Strong Bad wearing a crown and a wrestling suit that has a crown printed on it. The picture is labeled "Sir Boliver Turnbuckle".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Sir Boliver Turnbuckle and his signature move:

{Another picture appears with Strong Bad in his Turnbuckle outfit standing behind Strong Sad, with Strong Bad's arm grabbing Strong Sad below his own arm. The picture is labeled "Master of the 1/8th Nelson!"}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} The one-eighth nelson!

{Cut back to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: {typing} That was back in the days when pretending to be a pompous Brit was considered a premium gimmick. Once I started getting more popular, my next incarnation was

{Cut to the Gymatorium's doors. A piece of paper with an AWMPSCE logo is taped on sideways.}

THE ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} And hailing from the age of exploration, the namer of nations,

{The doors swing open. Strong Bad is posing behind them. He is wearing an orange beret, a frilly white shirt, and a brown vest. The words "il Cartographer" appear at the bottom of the screen.}

THE ANNOUNCER: il Cartographer!

{Strong Bad poses as though he's expecting applause, but all that can be heard are some singers and the King of Town.}

THE KING OF TOWN: {from offscreen} Booooooo!

SINGERS: il Cartographer! He makin' the maps! il Cartographer! He takin' no crap!

{Strong Bad steps forward and throws pieces of paper at the empty seats.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And one of my gimmicks was that I'd always come into the ring throwing—

{One of Strong Bad's papers stops in front of the camera. It is a map of the Gymatorium and shows the way from one of the seats ("here be you") to "the can", as the toilet is labeled. The map is labeled "Ye Olde Restroom Trail".}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} maps to the restrooms into the crowd!

{Cut to the ring; Strong Bad is holding a flag.}

STRONG BAD: I claim-a this saggy ring in the name of il Cartographer!

{He taps the flag and it unfurls itself and flaps in imaginary wind, showing an image of Strong Bad's beret with "the il-est" written below it.}

THE KING OF TOWN: {from offscreen} Booooo!

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} That was back when my big feud with Homestar Runner was in full swing!

{Cut to a closeup of Homestar Runner's rear. He is wearing red pants that read "'EM UP!" in bold white lettering and has cinnamon on his chest. The screen slowly pans back.}

THE ANNOUNCER: {from offscreen} Ladies and gentlemen! Joining me backstage in historic empty high school gymnasium—

{The Announcer can now be seen standing next to Homestar, who is facing away from the camera.}

THE ANNOUNCER: is a man that needs no introduction. Introducing: The Jack 'Em Up Kid!

{The words "The Jack 'Em Up Kid" appear at the bottom of the screen. Homestar turns toward the camera. His chest has what appears to be cinnamon "stubble" on it, and his hat has no propeller.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well, you know, announcer man, that's right! Hoo, yeah! Jack 'Em Up Kid, empty high school gymnasium, {holds up a belt with bacon and eggs carved into the buckle} fizzleweight belt on the line! Hoo, yeah! That's right! That's correct! That's precisely what I'm talking about! I got the drive, I got the commotion! I can't believe it! Hoo, yeah! el Photographer, whatchoo gonna did? {raises his pants on each word} When you get jacked up? {snaps the elastic band, which muffles his speech} By the Jack 'Em Up Kid!

'{Cut back to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: {typing} And that feud carried over into my tag team phase with Strong Mad. Naturally, there were several misfires before we found our groove.

{Cut to Strong Bad and Strong Mad dressed like tourists. Strong Mad is wearing a purple Hawaiian shirt, while Strong Bad wears a pair of sunglasses and has sunscreen smeared over his nonexistent nose. Both wear fishing hats and cameras.}

STRONG BAD: Nothing can stop the Wild Vacationers!

{"The Wild Vacationers" appears at the bottom of the screen. With a blip, the scene cuts to Strong Bad and Strong Mad in black spandex outfits. Strong Bad is wearing a headband with a big knife tucked into it, and his pants have a wooden board, a wrench, and one other unidentifiable object in them. Strong Mad has a razor blade lodged in his bleeding and apparently scarred forehead, a hammer tucked into his singlet, and the outline of a gun fully inside his singlet.}

STRONG BAD: You betta not mess with the Foreign Object Brothers!

{"The Foreign Object Bros." appears at the bottom of the screen. With a blip, the scene cuts to Strong Bad and Strong Mad wearing spiky shoulder pads. Strong Mad's singlet is red and has "RAX" written on it. Strong Bad wears a green mohawk.}

STRONG BAD: Rax and Arby: The Sanctum of Spiky Shoulder Pads.

{"The Sanctum of Spiky Shoulder Pads" appears at the bottom of the screen. With a blip, it cuts to the Announcer.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} But we finally settled on...

{The screen pans over to Strong Bad and Strong Mad with heavy facepaint. Strong Mad's singlet reads "FACEPAINT CONNECTION".}

STRONG BAD: The Facepaint Connection! Jack 'Em Up Kid, Gary the Legend, when we step into the ring with the insidious Mr. Cheatayama,

{Pans over to show The Cheat with a bowler derby and facepaint that resembles a mustache and goatee. He is holding an egg beater. It pans back after a moment.}

STRONG BAD: You better hope for your guts and your mercy {looks confused for a moment} can save you at this Sunday's PayPerViewver Series.

{"PayPerViewver Series - Sunday 9PM" appears at the bottom of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: I didn't climb the mountains and breathe the facepainted fumes just to let you two walk away with the title I'm done take me off the air! {frantically} TAKE ME OFF THE AIR!!!

{Static cuts to Homestar, still in his Jack 'Em Up Kid outfit, holding a microphone.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hoo, yeah! That's right! Facepaint Connection! You can't resist the power of all the screamin' Jack 'Emites and Jack 'Emettes out there when I pin you to the ground for a count of three which is a legal way to win a match in this wrestling federation the last time I checked. Gary the Legend, take it away!

{He holds the microphone out to his partner. The screen cuts back, revealing that there is nobody there.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that Gary the Legend was Homestar's imaginary tag team partner.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {to "Gary"} You tell 'em! You tell 'em, Gary! Hoo, yeah!

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Eventually I began wrestling as my own dang self and finally achieved what every wrestler strives for: my own in-ring interview segment! Never before had two chairs and a potted plant so transformed the wrestling ring!

{Cut to the Gymatorium.}

THE ANNOUNCER: {from offscreen} It's time for another installment of—

{The words "Strong Bad's Folding Chair DUNGEON" appear onscreen. The word "DUNGEON" drips blood.}

THE ANNOUNCER: {from offscreen} Strong Bad's Folding Chair Dungeon!

{Cut to the ring, where Strong Bad can be seen with a microphone. Behind him is a table with a potted plant and a skull on it, with two folding chairs next to it. A red rug sits underneath it all.}

STRONG BAD: Welcome back to the darkest dankest regions of my dungeon! My prisoner this week is the current fizzleweight belt holder: The Jack 'Em Up Kid!

{Homestar, still in costume, jumps into the ring.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hoo, yeah! Hoo, yeah!

{Strong Bad hits him with one of the folding chairs, knocking him out. Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So you see Gardenboy, you should stop trying to perfect the Summer Squash Suplex and instead get yourself a rake, a straw hat, maybe a watering can and start screaming about how your opponents are gophers!

{Cut to the Gymatorium's doors. Singing can be heard in the background. The doors open to reveal Strong Sad with a hat, rake, and watering can.}

SINGERS: Gardenboy! He's plantin' the seeds! Gardenboy! He's pullin' out the weeds! Gardenboy! He's gonna bring ya to your knees! He's the il Cartographer, I mean, Gardenboy!

STRONG SAD: All right, all you gophers out there, ha-bring-it-on!

{He holds up the watering can, which spouts two flames. New Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

What you gone did when you get jacked up?
  • While Homestar is taunting The Facepaint Connection, click on the "S" in the AWMPSCE logo to see T-shirts, a bumper sticker, and a foam thumb promoting the Jack 'Em Up Kid.
  • At the end, click on Strong Sad's hat to see the Announcer interviewing Strong Mad:
    THE ANNOUNCER: And Rax, anything you'd care to add?
    STRONG MAD: BEEF AND CHEDDAR! FIVE FOR FIVE!
  • At the end, click on Strong Sad's watering can to see a scene with Homestar and the Brothers Strong in the Field at night as il Cartographer, a Facepaint Connection member, Gardenboy, and The Jack 'Em Up Kid.
    HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, Strong Bad. I really like your Rudy from Fat Albert costume.

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • "Bfn" stands for "Bloemfontein", one of South Africa's three capital cities.
    • Strong Bad reads it as "best friends never," which is a play off of the acronym "BFF," meaning "Best friends forever."
  • The "1/8 nelson" is not a wrestling hold, but the half-nelson and three-quarter nelson are amateur wrestling holds designed to get a quick pinfall, and the full nelson (which is illegal in NCAA wrestling) is a famous submission hold in the professional ranks.
  • Strong Bad hitting Homestar Runner with a steel chair refers to the common practice of faking the use of weapons, particularly folding chairs, in professional wrestling.
  • A cartographer is a mapmaker.

Trivia

  • This sbemail was released Tuesday night instead of the usual Monday morning, as Strong Bad points out in his opening song.
  • This is the first time that Homestar's body under the neckline is shown uncensored.
  • Homestar's hat doesn't have its propeller.

Remarks

  • "Gymatorium" is a portmanteau of gymnasium and auditorium.
  • The All World Mid-Pro Shirtless Championship Entertainment has a lot of shirt-wearing wrestlers. il Cartographer, in particular, is not only wearing a frilly shirt but a fine leather vest.
  • Homestar's voice seems to be slightly lower.

Goofs

  • When Strong Bad puts up his "il-est" flag, the floor reads "AWMPSE" instead of "AWMPSCE."
  • The "e" in "before" is slightly cut off on the right side.

Fixed Goofs

  • Initially, when Strong Bad says "dinosaur tranquilizer fueled ranting and raving", "fueled" was misspelled on the computer screen as "feuled". This was fixed the next day.

Inside References

  • The subject of this email is professional wrestling.
  • Homestar Runner, as The Jack 'Em Up Kid, has a wrestling belt with an image of bacon and eggs.
  • Homestar is wearing what could be described as a form of long pants.
  • Strong Bad, as il Cartographer, wears an orange beret.
  • The Easter egg for clicking on the watering can is a reference to the ending of most Halloween cartoons, including the inability to recognize Strong Bad's costume.
  • The Cheat, as the Insidious Mr. Cheatayama, wears a black bowler hat.
  • As a Foreign Object Brother, Strong Mad has a razor stuck in his forehead, which is causing him to bleed. Also, in "Strong Bad's Folding Chair DUNGEON", the word "DUNGEON" is dripping with blood.
  • At the end of the email, Strong Sad's watering can inexplicably spurts fire.
  • The singers for Strong Sad's entrance music are the same singers for the Thnikkaman's theme song.
  • The scoreboard shows an irregular score of "?" for the Home team, as it did in the paper. The Flash file shows the other score as "$", also as in the paper.
  • Homestar has cinnamon on his chest.
  • The King of Town is heard booing.
  • Strong Bad's wrestling Homestar is a reference to Marshmallow's Last Stand, as is Strong Mad's being Strong Bad's tag team partner.
  • As one of the Foreign Objects Brothers, Strong Bad has a big knife tucked in his headband.

Real-World References

  • Strong Bad and Strong Mad as Arby and Rax refers to restaurants Arby's and Rax, both of which specialize in roast beef sandwiches.
    • A "Beef 'n Cheddar" is a sandwich available at Arby's restaurants. The sandwiches are periodically sold "Five for $5."
  • Fat Albert and Rudy were 1970s cartoon characters created and hosted by Bill Cosby, based on his stand-up comedy routine.
  • The Cheat's character is based on famous wrestling manager "Mr. Fuji"; among Fuji's famous clients was Demolition, a team that wore facepaint in a similar design to what the Strongs have.
  • Strong Bad's interview segment is based on many wrestlers having interviews segments (most famously Roddy Piper's Piper's Pit") mid-show.
  • "Pay-per-viewver Series" refers to Survivor Series, a WWE pay-per-view event.
  • The Sanctum of Spiky Shoulder Pads is a reference to the Road Warriors tag team (aka the Legion of Doom), who became famous for their shoulder pads covered in spikes.
  • As a member of The Foreign Object Brothers, Strong Mad has a sledgehammer hidden in his tights. This is a refernce to Triple H who uses such a hammer as a trademark foreign object.
  • The Wild Vacationers is a reference to the Wild Samoans tag team who were managed by Captain Lou Albano. Albano would often wear a Hawaiian shirt to the ring, much like the Vacationers.
  • The Facepaint Connection is a reference to the Blade Runners, a tag team in Bill Watts' old UWF. Both of its members would become icons, Sting and the Ultimate Warrior.
  • Homestar's quote, "Whatchoo gonna did, when you get jacked up by the Jack 'Em Up Kid?" is a twist of Hulk Hogan's famous interview-ending catchphrase, "Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?!" In addition, beginning "Well you know, announcer man..." is similar to Hogan's famous interview opening, "Well ya know something, Mean Gene...", addressed to long-time wrestling personality "Mean" Gene Okerlund. Homestar also talks about his Jackemites, similar to the Hogan's hulkamaniacs.
  • Homestar's frequent use of the phrase "Hoo yeah!" is a reference to Macho Man Randy Savage, whose famous catchphrase was "Oooh yeah!"
  • The razor blade lodged in Strong Mad's forehead as part of his costume as a Foreign Objects Brother references blading, the method that professional wrestlers use to make themselves bleed mid-match. Blading involves using a razor blade like Strong Mad's to surreptitiously cut oneself mid-match so that nobody notices that the cut is self-inflicted. Many older wrestlers have noticeable scar tissue on their forehead (much like Strong Mad does in the clip) from blading hundreds of times in their careers.
  • Strong Bad saying, "TAKE ME OFF THE AIR!!!" is a reference to a Paul Heyman shoot promo from an episode of ECW on TNN in 2000.
  • Homestar's theme song as a wrestler is a slowed-down version of the main theme from Punch-Out!! for the Nintendo Entertainment System.
  • "Dinosaur tranquilizer fueled ranting and raving" is a reference to an event that happened on the television show SmackDown! in February 2005, when then-champion John Bradshaw Layfield was shot with a tranquilizer dart and went into a rant with an inflatable dinosaur in front of a Tokyo crowd.
  • Homestar's "'Em Up" phrase on his shirt is somewhat similar to the catchphrase "Man Up", used by the Briscoe Brothers
  • Strong Bad's interview talking about The Jack 'Em Up Kid is a twist on an Ultimate Warrior interview, which were, more often than not, nonsensical.
  • Strong Bad's comment of "That was back in the days when pretending to be a pompous Brit was considered a premium gimmick" relates to wrestlers such as the "Lord" Steven Regal (William Regal), "Squire" Dave Taylor and "Earl" Bobby Eaton (The Blue Bloods), as well as a reference to other wrestlers who falsify their claim to British royalty.
  • The "Entertainment" in AWMPSCE is a reference to WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment, who changed their name in 2002 from the World Wrestling Federation, or WWF, in response to a cease-and-desist order from the World Wide Fund For Nature, formerly the World Wildlife Fund, who used the same initials.

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