what i want

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 14:08, 11 December 2006

"Listen to that moldy oldy in glorious drive-thru stereo."

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Marzipan, Strong Sad (voice), Homestar Runner (eatser egg)

Places: Computer Room,

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: December 10, 2006

Running Time: 3:29

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Ding-ding-dong, ding-ding-dong, ding-ding-dear Strong Bad.

subject: decemberween

Dear Strongbad,
What do you want for Decemberween?
your holiday spirit
Talon Jendro
Des Moines, IA

{pronounces "Talon Jendro" as "Tuhlonn Jendddro"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Where'd you get that name? Geroge Lucas? Ta'lon J'en-dr'o from the computery generated planet of Des' Moi-nes'ia. {clears screen} Anyways, everybody knows the kind of stuff I want, Ta'lon. A catapult that launches balls of cobras, chainsaw car, subscription to EGM2, hot step-sister. That email writes itself. It's more important to establish what I don't want for X-berween. {pronounces "X-berween" as "Decemberween"}

{cut to "Z' ShopChan" TV shopping channel}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Our first item is a perennial all-star of bad awful Decemberween presents: the ornament.

MARZIPAN: There's no better way to say, "I have no idea what your interests are" than to give someone a present that ceases to be useful the moment it's opened.

STRONG BAD: Yes, there's nothing like opening a gift just in time to put it in a box in the attic for a year. And next decemberween when you get it back out, guess what? It's still just a cool snowman surfing the internet.

MARZIPAN: Internet is so hot this year.

{A phone rings}

STRONG BAD: Oh, we got a caller. Go ahead, caller. How many FR114P-dc8s should I put you down for?

STRONG SAD: {voiceover} Strong Bad, did you put wildebeest pheromones in my laundry again? {wildebeest noises} Aaaah! {dial tone}

STRONG BAD: Another satisfied customer. Next up, we have one of those mechanical dancing musical nobots. The kind that you accidentally activate by getting too close.

DANCIN' STRONG BAD MUSICAL NOBOT: {heavily distorted voice} I'm like come on Fhqwhgads, I said come on Fhqwhgads, Everybody to the limit, The Cheat is to the limit.

MARZIPAN: Listen to that moldy oldy in glorious drive-thru stereo.

STRONG BAD: Who can appreciate the song when all you're really hearing are the plastic gears and motors working together in an effort to barely bust some sort of move.

MARZIPAN: These things just scream "I stopped at the drug store on my way over". Now, on to our next item. Uuh, Strong Bad?

STRONG BAD: Sorry, I'm completely entrangled by those hypnotically suave hips. {shakes his head violently} Our last gift items are all about the false notion that just because you made something yourself, it's not a worthless piece of crap.

MARZIPAN: These sea-shells have office supplies hot-glued to them for absolutely no reason.

STRONG BAD: Yes, and the more globs of hot glue I can see, the quicker I throw it in the trash.

MARZIPAN: This clothes-pin reindeer ornament is forgettably precious.

{record scratches}

STRONG BAD: Woah, home-made and and ornament. That thing is an anti-gift. If someone gives you one of those, you actually have to pay them because it's so poor. Uh, probably because they're so poor.

{white noise, cut back to Strong Bad typing on his Lappy}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So Ta'lon, my young apprentice, there's my "Please Great Aunt Whoever, Don't Get Me This Stuff For Decemberween" list. I highly suggest you make your own. But if it doesn't work, don't forget to take advantage of all the temporary help that retailers hire this time of year. Those people will refund ANYTHING! Last year, I returned an omelette to a hardware store for nigh on fifty bucks. Well, happy Decemberween everybloody!

{The Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

• Click on the words "balls of cobras" as Strong Bad types them to see a board game entitled "COBRA-PULT!!"
• Click on the words "chainsaw car" as Strong Bad types them to see the blueprints to a chainsaw car.
• At the end of the email, click on the words "Don't Get Me This" to see a Homestar toy that plays the intro tune.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• Strong Bad types "Decemberween" as "X-berween". Xmas is a common abbreviation of the word Christmas, deriving from the Ancient Greek abbreviation for Christ.
• EGM² is a video game magazine that was published until 1998.
• Hollandaise is a French lemon-butter sauce.

Trivia

• The Floppy Disk Container reads "low blow".
• The following is a list of all items seen being sold by Z' ShopChan:

  ZXJ481-78b

  Commemorative Coach Z Ornament

  WRT54G-Sc

  Eh! Steve! Soiled Gold Ornament

  FR114P-dc8

  Cool Snowman Surfing the Internet Ornament

  3DT178-2t2

  Dancin' Strong Bad Musical Nobot

  N2cXL8-42

  Seashells b/w Office Supplies

  Kj78M-Xn45

  31 Kt Clothes Pin Reindeer – "Klibber"

Inside References

• The Cobra-pult game is made by Boardelectrix.
• The Strong Bad toy plays Everybody to the Limit, and the Homestar toy plays the Intro theme.
• Strong Bad was previously hypnotized in cartoon.
• The Dancin' Strong Bad Musical Nobot's part number ends in 2t2.
• The seashell and office supply gift has b/w in its title.
• There is a Cakkalate-brand calculator glued to the second seashell.

Real-World References

• Strong Bad sings the introduction to Jingle Bells as his email song.
• George Lucas is the creator of Star Wars. The more recent trilogy was full of CGI, which is why Strong Bad mentions a computer generated planet. When Strong Bads mentions that Talon's name as Ta'lon J'en-dr'o he is referencing to the number of aliens that appear in the Star Wars universe with many apostrophes and hyphens.
• Two of the part numbers, WRT54G-Sc and FR114P-dc8, refer to popular networking hardware – the Linksys WRT54G and the NetGear FR114P.

External Links

• watch "what i want"
• watch "what i want" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "what i want"
• forum thread re: "what i want"