virus

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This does not look good for the Compy 386

Strong Bad Email #118

Strong Bad experiences some "technical difficulties" with Compy 386...and the rest of the Homestar Runner universe.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Coach Z (easter egg) Homestar Runner, Strong Mad, Marzipan, The Poopsmith, The King of Town, The Ugly One, Bubs, The Cheat, Fightgar (easter egg)


Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} I got the email, you got the email, I got the email, you got the email. {starts reading email}

ert+
y76p; '0lu8jkyee;u4p;e'/Rh
Strong ba15456 `-------++++++gf
+++++-//==========/*8901ikg

{reads up to "'0lu8" before stopping}

STRONG BAD: What is this? Did the Quadratic Formula explode? I see a "Strong ba" in there, but it's getting eaten by some... Linux or something. Wait a minute! Is this one of those VIRUS emails? Like the kind that moms and offshore casinos send you? I'll take care of this!

{Strong Bad types "deleted," but the screen replies "NICE TRY!" A red line of text appears reading "That didn't work."}

STRONG BAD: What?! I said deleted!

{Strong Bad types it again, but the screen flashes "NOTTA CHANCE!!" A red line of text appears reading "That neither"}

STRONG BAD: Oh, a wise guy, eh? Maybe I should introduce you to my main man, Edgar.

{Strong Bad types in edgarware.exe, bringing up the following text on-screen}

       Edgar the Virus
            Hunter

programmed entirely
in mom's basement
by Edgar      c1982

{Strong Bad hits a key, and the screen switches to the following text}

Virus Protection
version .0001

Last scan was NEVER ago.

scanning...

STRONG BAD: OK Edgar, now drop a TRAIN on 'em!

{The following text now appears on the screen}

Scan Complete!

423, 827
Viruses Found!

A New Record!!

STRONG BAD: Wah! That is NOT a small number! That is a BIG number! What'm I gonna do?

{The following text now appears on the screen}

FLAGRANT SYSTEM ERROR

Computer over.

Virus = Very Yes.

STRONG BAD: Computer over? Virus equals "very yes?" That's not a good prize!

{The text on the Compy 386 screen melts off, and slides onto the floor}

STRONG BAD: Oooh!

{Strong Bad jumps out of the way. The camera zooms out to a view of the computer desk}

STRONG BAD: And the Compy just peed my carpet.

{The corner of the computer desk briefly flashes, showing an underlying gridwork to it, The No Loafing sign becomes the following text and falls off the wall.}

<head>
<href>No loafing</href>
<body>

{The Floppy Disk Container gets swallowed by the computer desk, and Strong Sad walks in, but his head has been replaced by his emoticons from Strong Sad's Lament}

STRONG SAD: Strong Bad, what's going on here?

STRONG BAD: WAH! Uh, I dunno. You forgot to wear your neck?

STRONG SAD: Have you been using the internet irresponsibly?

{The top of the Main Page starts to creep into the top of the email, with the text "Stave it off, 1, 2, 3," in the corner}

STRONG BAD: No more irresponsibly than usual.

STRONG SAD: {Lower body starts walking away in place} Did you get a virus?

STRONG BAD: Uhhh, no.

STRONG SAD: Did you get 400,000 viruses?

STRONG BAD: Yes. VERY yes.

STRONG SAD: Well hurry up and do something about it before it gets worse!

{Strong Sad turns into a Strong Sad trading card and flies up and off the screen. The Main Page at the top of the screen disappears}

STRONG BAD: Uhh, The Cheat!

{Strong Bad runs off the screen and into the black to the right of the computer desk, then stops}

STRONG BAD: What the? Whoa! It's cold out here!

{Strong Bad tries to jump back onto the screen, but it shifts to the left, causing him to still fall on blank space}

STRONG BAD: Hey!

{Homestar Runner walks onscreen. His body is 1936 The Homestar Runner's body, while the rest of him is normal. Instead of his legs moving, he just glides on, producing several ghost images of himself}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Never fear, Strong Bad! I know how to fix your computer box!

STRONG BAD: {stands up} No no! Don't touch that!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Your super box needs words. {His head falls off and onto the ground} Like these right here! Uhh, this one {picks up "downloads" from the bottom menu}

STRONG BAD: No, stop!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: -and this one {picks up "games" from the bottom menu}

STRONG BAD: That's not supposed to be possible!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: -and this one {picks up "characters" from the bottom menu}

{Suddenly, several pop-up windows (including a real one) titled "Click on the Monkey!!" and featuring oldschool Homestar in them appear saying "Making out with Marzipan is totally awesome!" spawn. Strong Bad starts screaming and pounding the side of the screen with his fists. Cut to Marzipan's living room. Strong Mad is standing nearby and Marzipan is standing next to a huge stack of VHS tapes}

MARZIPAN: Well I think it's fantastic, Strong Mad! That's the best stack of VHS tapes I've ever-

{Marzipan suddenly turns into a ASCII rendering of herself, and her voice becomes extremely deep and distorted making her words unintelligible}

STRONG MAD: I CAN'T SPELL YOU!

{Strong Mad turns into a picture of himself from his character video inside a large M, which walks offscreen. Text appears at the top of the screen reading as follows}

If anyone is truly a big lug, Strong Mad is. This guy is dumb
strong, and that's pretty much the definition of a lug. One ti
his brother Strong Bad asked him to pick up this one car. An
he did, but it was the wrong car. See? Dumb and strong. He'

{Cut to the King of Town's castle. The Poopsmith is standing with his shovel extended and some you-know-what on the end of it, as the King of Town stands nearby}

THE KING OF TOWN: A little more to the left... Good, good

{The scene suddenly changes to a TGS style piece of paper, with the text "issue 3.14159265and the rest" at the top}

THE KING OF TOWN: Ooh! Poopsmith?

{The Ugly One appears out of nowhere, her mouth huge and distorted}

THE UGLY ONE: I can do it! I can do it 9 times!

{The Ugly One extends her arm and starts slapping the King of Town}

THE KING OF TOWN: Ow! No! Please! Stop! I'm old! And fat! And rich! And cool!

{Cut to the Homestar Runner loading screen, which splits and reveals a screen with the text "It is now safe to turn your computer off." Bubs walks on from the side of the screen. His face is a broken JPG, his legs are doubled (one red, one blue) and he's carrying one of Homestar's legs}

BUBS: I shoulda done this, like, a million years ago.

{Cut to a cloud scene. Strong Bad is here and extremely glitched up, as is The Cheat who keeps floating around the screen randomly. Random garbage graphics keep flying by in the foreground.}

STRONG BAD: With Marzipan's Radish we can go and-a win the competition!

{An explosion sound effect is heard, and suddenly everything returns to normal, revealing Strong Bad and The Cheat standing by The Stick.}

STRONG BAD: Hey! He fixed it! That Bubs is a computer genius man! Let's do a dance for the computer genius man!

{A salsa rhythm starts up, and Strong Bad and The Cheat start dancing. The camera pans to the left to reveal Bubs holding a shotgun}

STRONG BAD: Hey! Thanks Bubs! How'd you get rid of th- wait. Why do you have a shotgun? What did you do? Where's my Compy?!

BUBS: It's in a better place, Strong Bad. Or rather, it's in the same place, but now it's got a big hole through it.

STRONG BAD: YOU MURDERER! You killed my brother! I mean computer.

BUBS: Look, Strong Bad, my mouth was a broken JPG. I had no choice!

STRONG BAD: You don't understand! You ALL understand! I mean don't understand. AAAUUUGGGHHH!

{Strong Bad runs offscreen, very distraught. The Cheat makes some Cheat noises, and follows him. Homestar hops onscreen on one leg, holding his other leg up}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Bubs! Can I have my leg back, now?

{Cut to the Compy 386, which now has a giant hole through its monitor. Strong Bad is sitting in front of it, head bowed}

STRONG BAD: {very distraught} Dear Strong Bad, I don't know the crapfully yours. {hits head on keyboard a few times} I don't know the crapfully yours. *sniff* I can't RELATE! {hits head on keyboard again} I can't RELATE! {hits head on keyboard again} I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get in there and MIX {hits head} it up.

{The Paper comes down}

STRONG BAD: {very distraught} I don't remember your NAME, Davey! {hits head on keyboard again} Dear Strong Bad. How do you type with boxing gloves on?

Easter Eggs

  • If you click on the cog on the left at the end of the e-mail, you can see Compy 386 on sale at Bubs' Concession Stand.
  • If you click on the fan on the right, you can see a Cheat Commandos excerpt, but instead of a gun, Fightgar holds Homestar's leg (which curiously works the same way.)
  • When the Main page is encroaching on the top of the screen you can still click the Quote of the Week, Sketchbook and Weekly Fanstuff buttons to see them.
    • If you tab over to where the updates are posted and hit enter, it takes you to Halloween Fairstival.
    • If you mouse over the Quote of the Week, it bounces around the screen until it gets lodged at the top. When you click "Hear it," a pixelated broom scrolls vertically along the screen and makes a loud distorted noise. When you click the "X" to close it, the Quote of the Week box wobbles a bit and then falls off the screen.
    • If you click on the Sketchbook, a picture of Coach Z upside down appears, with his arms and legs wrapped around a white space the shape of The King of Town's head. This image is from Where's the Cheat?, when Coach Z attacked The King over a misunderstanding involving The Cheat and a grill. The picture has a lot of numbers at the bottom.
    • If you click on Weekly Fanstuff, a picture of a color pallate screen appears with a green X over it.

Fun Facts

  • A lot of the things said during the time when the viruses go haywire are quotes from previous episodes. For example, SB talking about radishes is from The Reddest Radish. The Ugly One says one of the lines from the Cheat's cartoon in the SBemail crazy cartoon.
  • When Strong Sad appears after the water flows out of the Compy 386, if you look to the top right corner you see the words "Stave it off 1, 2, 3..." which refers to the Strong Bad e-mail for kids.
  • When the screen switches to the "Teen Girl Squad" screen, the issue number is the first nine digits of Pi.
  • The quadratic formula is a mathematical equation used for finding solutions to quadratic equations.
  • When Bubs' mouth is a broken jpeg, it has the letters "TH." this is a reference to his other identity, The Thnikkaman.
  • The floppy on Strong Bad's desk is labeled "Spy vs. Spy" before it melts into the desk. Spy vs. Spy, based on the feature comic of Mad Magazine, was a game for old computers and the NES that featured innovative split screen gameplay.
  • During the cloud scene right before the computer gets fixed, a silhouette of Rather Dashing (the Peasant's Quest protagonist) walks across the screen.
  • In the easter egg with Fightgar, notice that his gun is Homestar's leg.
  • This is most likely the end of the Compy 386 era. We should see a new computer in the next email or so. The last computer change was in invisibility
  • This is one of only a few emails where the characters seem to "break the fourth wall" by recognizing their existence as cartoon characters on a computer screen rather than in a fictional world of their own. Other emails where they do this are flashback (they extend the size of the display area and Homestar is "behind the black") and the process (the entire email implies that Strong Bad is aware that he is a cartoon being watched by people at home).
  • Note that the sound Strong Mad makes as he doodles off the screen is the same as Homsar's movement noise.
  • The sound that the shotgun makes (i.e. everything returning to normal) is the same sound as when The Cheat's head explodes.
  • "Linux" refers to the Free Unix-like kernel originally written for the 386 by Linus Torvalds in 1991, or an entire operating system which uses this kernel. The name is often thrown around as a buzzword by those who do not know what it is, which explains Strong Bad's absolutely random use of the name.
  • Bubs' computer expertise was first recognized in The System is Down
  • After Homestar removes the words "games", "characters", and "downloads" from the bottom of the screen, all of the other words, except for "toons", are still clickable.
  • The "It is now safe to turn off your computer" screen is from old Windows 95 Machines which could not turn themselves off.
  • Bubs selling the broken Compy 386 (easter egg) is a reference to KoT E-mail, in which we learn Bubs had also sold the broken Tandy 400.
  • When Homestar appears on the screen his body is that of Old Timey Homestar.
  • The card that Strong Sad transforms into is from the original deck of Trading Cards that has since been removed from the site.
  • The "Click the Monkey" phrase, "Making out with Marzipan is totally awesome", was once the phrase necessary to trigger the Strong Bad Talker from the Homestar Talker. It has since been changed, though. The phrase is also heard in The Cheat Theme Song.
  • Strong Mad's description, which appears when he glitches, comes from the last iteration of the Characters page (The Yearbook).
  • "FLAGRANT SYSTEM ERROR" comes from 50 emails. His response that it's not a "good prize" comes from Pumpkin Carve-nival.
  • During the big glitch scene right before Bubs "fixes" the computer, we can hear the song from the intro of Parsnips-A-Plenty.
  • The address of the actual pop-up window that comes up is [hsmakeout.html], and the flash file contained within is [hsmakeout.swf].

External Links

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