underlings

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 22:39, 7 May 2007

"Your tiny bathing suit demeans us all!"

Strong Bad explains how to tell others about embarrassing social mistakes.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Homestar Runner

Places: Computer Room, Bathroom of the Brothers Strong, Strong Sad's Room, Swimming Pool, The Field, Strong Bad's Basement (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, May 7, 2007

Running Time: 3:15

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} My email song! Where would I be without my email song? {brings up the email}

subject: Handling Smelly Underling?

Dear Strong Bad,
I am a manager and I have been told I must talk to one
of my underlings about their stench. As the foremost
expert in dealing with smelly underlings, I ask you, what is
the best way to go about this? I wish to do this with
some tact & professionalism.
Sincerely,
PlasticDiverGuy
Dartmouth, Nova Scotia

{Strong Bad pronounces each word in the greeting separately, with short deliberate pauses between them. He pronounces "Dartmouth" as two separate words, and "Scotia" phonetically as SKO-tee-uh.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Man, that show Nova is boring, but I'd watch a show called Dartmouth anyday. {clears screen} Now lemme tell ya PastyDeadGuy, you came to the right man. I've got so many underlings, I've had to deal with every nearly every awkward social situation under the awkward social sun. I'm an expoit! {clears screen} Firstly, nothing says tact and professionalism like sending a subtle hint with a hilarious novelty t-shirt. So in your situation, you could just start wearing a shirt that has like,

{Cut to a blank T-shirt}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —some kinda—

{A scientist holding a test tube appears on the shirt.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —science person on it, with a clothespin—

{A clothespin appears on the scientist's nose.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —on his nose, and underneath it says: "You Reek-A!"

{"You Reek-A!" appears on the shirt. Cut back to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: {typing} That way, your smelly underling, or smunderling, can get the message from across the room, and you can safely stay out of stink's reach.

{Cut to Strong Bad in the bathroom, reading a newspaper titled "Da News Papes". He looks up.}

STRONG BAD: You know, I think I'd probably watch a TV show called "Stink's Reach", too.

{He looks back down. Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Secondly, nothing says tact and professionalism like slowly revealing a sensitive topic to a friend or loved one—

{Cut to Strong Sad, drawing on a piece of paper with a pencil.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —with a clever connect-the-dots puzzle.

{Cut to a closeup of the paper. It's an alligator wearing sunglasses, holding a sign that reads "WE'RE GOING TO NEED YOU TO FLUSH TWICE!". The connect-the-dots portion is only the rectangular outline of the sign. Strong Sad stops drawing.}

STRONG SAD: What is he trying to say to me with this cryptic message? {taps the pencil twice on "cryptic"}

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Furthermore, nothing says pact and trofesssionalism like breaking tough news to someone with a reverse sunburn—

{Cut to the pool, slowly zooming in. A sunburned Strong Mad faces away from the pool, which Coach Z is in.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} —on your brother's giant, square, billboard-sized back!

{Strong Mad removes his singlet. His back has "your tiny bathing suit demeans us ALL!" on it. Cut to a closeup.}

COACH Z: {slowly} Your tiny bathing suit demeans us all.

{Cut to Coach Z.}

COACH Z: Aw, fine then! I'll take it orf!

{He reaches underwater and pulls out a very small pink g-string. The water turns black around him, accompanied by an odd humming noise. Cut back to behind Strong Mad.}

STRONG MAD: PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON!

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Lastly, nothing says tact and professionalism like a hidden message written in condiments.

{Cut to a picnic. Homestar Runner is sitting at the table. Strong Bad is wearing an oven mitt and holding a plate with a hot dog with his right hand, and holding a bottle of ketchup in his left. Some ketchup has spilled on the ground. More hot dogs can be seen on a grill behind him.}

STRONG BAD: Here ya go, chumpion!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {taking the hot dog} Ooh! Thanks, grillmasta!

{Cut to the picnic table as Homestar puts the hot dog down. It has "you've had that piece" written on it in ketchup.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You've had that piece—

{The camera pans to another hot dog, with "of cilantro" written on in mustard.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —of cilantro—

{The camera pans to a hamburger without its upper bun. "stuck between your teeth" is written in ketchup.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —stuck between your teeth—

{The camera pans yet again to a waffle with "since we ate at that mexican restaurant" with an arrow written in syrup.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —since we ate at that Mexican restaurant—

{The camera pans again to three pieces of sushi with "2" "wks" and "ago" written on them in wasabi.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —two weeks ago.

{Cut to a closeup of Homestar, who has a small piece of cilantro stuck in his mouth}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Two weeks?!... TEETH?!

{Cut to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing, in a slightly high-pitched voice and in a forced manner} In conclusion, these are just some of the many things that nothing says tact and professionalism like. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. If elected class president, I can't promise you Coke in the water fountains, but I can promise a hard-worker that will make a difference. And try to get Mrs. Hardmaster fired.

{He types "for child abuse." and quickly clears the screen, while shaking his head.}

STRONG BAD: {typing, speaking normally} Whoa! It's like I regressed back to the fifth grade there. And the golden days of the five-paragraph essay. Well, good luck with your smunderling, PranceyDirtGirl. I gotta get started making those 'You Reek-A' t-shirts. Those things are gonna be awesome!

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

Now including every awkward social situation!

• When Strong Bad types "awkward social sun", click that phrase to see an "Awkward Social Sun" CD.
• When Strong Bad first types "smunderling", click that word to see a description of this creature:

SMUNDERLING

All Smundy wants to do is be your
friend. He appears at office
parties & in enchanted caverns
at random. Very vulnerable to
harsh truths and Discs of Healing.

FREQUENCY: Rare
INTELLIGENCE: Low to middlin'
ARMOR CLASS: +8

• At the end, click "awesome" to see a clip of the Stink's Reach show.

{In Strong Bad's basement, looking at his TV. Music plays, and pull in slowly on a sign reading "You are now entering Stink's Reach", with stink lines drawn above it.}

NARRATOR: In a town called "Stink's Reach", no one's record is clean.

ANNOUNCER: Tuesdays at 8:30

{"Tuesdays @ 8:30" appears at the bottom of the screen, then cut through static to a screen reading "We now return to Dartmouth". The O in "Dartmouth" is a stylized mouth, with darts flying out of it.}

ANNOUNCER: We now return to Dartmouth.

{Cut to a shot of Strong Bad lying on the couch, with the TV going behind him.}

TV CHARACTER: Dartmouth! He's getting away!

DARTMOUTH: Stand clear. I know what to do.

{Sounds are heard of someone retching, and a dart flying and hitting a piece of wood}

VILLAIN: Ow! Pointy!

STRONG BAD: {incomprehensible mumbles} Lost... Vikings! {more incomprehensible mumbles}

Fun Facts

Explanations

• The five paragraph essay is comprised of an intro paragraph, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Essays of this type are often considered unacceptably short and simple after middle school.

Trivia

• The newspaper reads:

• This email is the first email since looking old to not mention DNA evidence.

Remarks

• The cilantro in Homestar's mouth is visible as he receives the hot dog from Strong Bad, before it was revealed that the cilantro had been there for two weeks.
• Homestar was shown with teeth in theme song.

Fixed Glitches

• When the toon was first released, at the end, the "I" at the beginning of "I gotta get started..." was clickable, but did not do anything. This was fixed a few hours after the toon was released.

Inside References

• Strong Bad read Da NewsPapes while in the bathroom in candy product.
• Strong Bad is holding a Quite Fancy 'Chup bottle (the label is obscured by his glove).
• Strong Bad refers to the emailer as "Prancey".
• This is another instance of Strong Bad's couch mumbling.
• The smunderling's intelligence being "low to middlin" likely refers to Thy Dungeonman II, where you could strike the enemies high, low, or middlin.
• The smunderling's fact sheet in general is very similar to Jhonka's from impression.
• This is another appearance of oven mitts.
• "Smunderling" and "chumpion" are both Portmanteaus.

Real-World References

• "Stink's Reach" is a parody of the style and theme music of the early '90s television show Twin Peaks.
• NOVA is a PBS television series about science topics which premiered in 1974 and is still running to this day.
• The Lost Vikings is a side-scrolling puzzle/platform video game which was developed by Blizzard Entertainment and released in 1992.
• The information about the smunderling's frequency, intelligence and armor class refers to the way that Advanced Dungeons & Dragons monsters are described, like that previously used for the Jhonka.
• The "Awkward Social Sun" CD and particularly the hairstyle on its cover are a reference to emo culture.

External Links

• watch "underlings"
• watch "underlings" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "underlings"
• forum thread re: "underlings"