time capsule
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Summary
Strong Bad Email #115
Strong Bad tells us what he would put in a time capsule, to preserve his awesomeness after his death and be opened in X0 years.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Stinkoman, 20X6 Homestar
Transcript
STRONG BAD: Checkin' emails with a VISCOSITY since 2001, it's a Strong Bad Email.
{reading}
dear STRONG bad, you are extremely awesome but how are you going to be soooo awesome if you'rre dead? why not make a time capsule of stuff filled with stuff about you to be opened in at least X0 years. please answer this, sam concord california
{Strong Bad puts an extreme emphasis on the STRONG in Strong Bad, says "This, I know" after "you are extremely awesome," reads "soooo" as "sue," pronounces "you'rre" as spelled, and pronounces "X0" as "exty"}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Rest assured, Shim-Sham Sam, my time capsule would reign supreme. Like your hot single Mom is gonna wanna date my time capsule. So, the key to a good time capsule is it being an actual capsule. None of these shoe boxes or tennis ball cans. No. Those things are called time boxes and time tennis ball cans. {clears screen, continues typing} Those are different and lame and differently lame. And they always get dug up in about 4 days. And they're filled with uncool stuff like those leaf rubbins {an image of leaf rubbings pops up}and current newspaper clippins {a newspaper clipping pops up} and... toenail snippins? {toenail snippings pop up onscreen} Anybody? {clears screen, continues typing} Anyways, I'm talking about a f'real capsule. Y'know, like a big old headache medicine. So, what kinda cool stuff should I put in there? I guess I'd throw in a cassette tape with one of my #1 jams on it. And then in the future it'd be a huge hit and they'd send all the royalties and groupies back in time to me right... {mumbles to self for a second} NOW!
{The doorbell rings. Cut to zoomed out view of Strong Bad at his computer desk}
STRONG BAD: Holy gosh! It worked! I'm the meanest genius!
{Homestar enters holding a shoebox}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Strong Bad, hey, can I put this gross old wig in your time machine?
{Homestar produces a gross old wig from the shoebox}
STRONG BAD: Uhhm, it's a CAPSULE, no, and "I hate you, get out."
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Cool cool.
{Homestar puts the gross old wig on his face}
STRONG BAD: Why would you want to put that nasty old thing in a time capsule anyway?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: 'Cause it's gross and nasty and old and I don't want it.
{Homestar takes the wig off and puts it on Strong Bad's floppy disk container}
STRONG BAD: It's not a TRASH capsule. Look, this is for COOL stuff so people of the future know how cool I am.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well then I'll just make my OWN time box with a gross old wig in it. So all the future peoples will know I had a gross old wig!
{Homestar puts the gross old wig back in the shoebox}
STRONG BAD: Good. Now leave.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yep!
{Homestar leaves. Cut back to Compy 386}
STRONG BAD: {typing} And I might as well spit in it, just in case they ever figure out how to make people from spit. Ooh! Then I'd put some dry ice in there so when they open it up it looks all smoky and steamy and it says a-like "froosh" when they first open it. There'll be no doubt about my coolty.
{Cut to the field, circa 20X6. Stinkoman is kneeling in front of a hole with dirt around his mouth}
STINKOMAN: Oh man, those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. Maybe the next one will be better.
{Stinkoman sticks his hand in the hole where it makes an audible clanging sound against an unseen object}
STINKOMAN: WHAAAT is this? Some sort of a challenge buried in the GROUUUND?
{Stinkoman snatches a red and white capsule out of the hole. It opens with a "froosh," and a cassette tape is revealed}
STINKOMAN: Lookie here! A power crunch!
{Stinkoman grabs the cassette and jams it into his mouth, crunching it up}
STINKOMAN: It tastes like a #1 jam!
{Stinkoman suddenly stands up, and bulks out, making the clich� powering up sound. 20X6 Homestar walks in with the gross old wig on his head}
20X6 HOMESTAR: Hey Stinkoman! Look what I found buried in a time box!
{Cut back to the present and the Compy 386}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Yeah, cassette tape is definitely the way to go. What could ever replace the durability of magnetic tape? Duct tape maybe. Man, I wonder when those groupies and royalties are getting here. What about right (hamina hooo) NOW! {stops typing} CRAP! OK, what about right... here it comes, just a little bit longer NOW! Ugh. This could take a while.
{The Paper comes down.}
STRONG BAD: Oh, the time is passing by, oh it's such a lovely day NOW! 5-4-3-2-1-NOW! 5-4-3-2-1-NOW! 3-2-1-NOW! 2-1-NOW! NOW! 1-NOW! NOW!
Easter Eggs
- Clicking on "differently lame" shows a small advertisment for Coach Z's Differently Lame Ale.
- Clicking on "big ol'headache medicine" shows a bottle of "Jobar's Big Ol' Headache Medicine".
- Clicking on "cassette tape" at the end lets you listen to a song about Grumblecakes.
Fun Facts
- Homestar Runner's old wig is in a Freshley's shoe box, the same one he wore on one of his feet in "anything".
- The newspaper clipping reads:
Oct 4. - Little Boy Saves Turtle!
"I found it in my shoe!!!"
News - A local boy named "Geoff," found a turtle in his shoe and returned it to the terrarium on his desk. "His name is Slowbie, but now I think I'll call him Mr. Shoe." The boy's mother is very proud of her son. Calls to the turtle's mother were not immediately returned, but most agree she would be proud of Slowbie/Mr. Shoe.- The date on the clipping, October 4, is the day this e-mail was released.
- When Strong Bad says "exty/X0", It's a reference to Stinkoman, which is probably why he appeared later in the cartoon.
- Stinkoman eating dirt is a reference to the the April Fools frontpage, where the stick figure (referred to as Stickly Man) seen in 'under construction' signs, turns out to be digging for pudding, not dirt.
- "Slowbie" is a reference to 2 years, in which Strong Bad called The Cheat the same thing.
- "Grumblecakes" is a clear reference to stupid stuff.
- The capsule looks awfully like the The Isle of Pom.
- Strong Bad can be seen counting on his thumbs while talking to Homestar.
- Like how Malloween Commercial implied the 1936 events actually occurred, this email implies that the 20X6 events actually do occur at some time.
- The grumblecakes song suggests that Strong Bad hangs out in line at batting cages.
- Strongbad sounds like Senior Cardgage when he mumbles.
- Go figure... Senior Cardgage is a reflection of Creepy Combover Strong Bad, which is basically another Strong Bad (frednin)
