the paper

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This article is about the Strong Bad Email. For the Pseudocharacter, see The Paper.
Strong Bad Email #173
watch more armies mini-golf
"Did you hear that? It said 'Preeeeow!"

Strong Bad reminisces about The Paper.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Lil' Strong Bad, Lil' Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, Homsar, Bubs, Coach Z (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Gymnasium, The Island

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, June 11, 2007

Running Time: 3:08

Page Title: Lappy 486

Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: Check the deck, y'all! Press eject, y'all! Well, it's another email and I'm about to reject y'all!

{Strong Bad reads the state as "Ewwwtah".}

STRONG BAD: {typing} No, The Paper's not quitting, Kyle, you total Ogdenite. Ol' Papes is at the top of his game, the prime of his time, the cusp of his stuff!

{The printer falls onto Strong Bad, knocking him offscreen.}

STRONG BAD: OW!!!

{Cut back to show the full computer room. The wrecked printer is on the ground, with Strong Bad reeling next to it. The printer prints a sheet with a sickly, distorted sound. A dramatic chords plays. Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which reads "I tHiNK i'MM rEAlllyy QUItTinG sTROng BBBaD".}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} The Paper! No!!!

{Cut back to a shot of the whole screen.}

STRONG BAD: Why do all my thirty-year-old electronics keep breaking on me?!

{Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which prints out some more text reading "wE haDd A goOd RUN, oLD buDddy."}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} We sure did, pal.

{Cut back}

STRONG BAD: Why, I remember the day you were born like it was about to happen in a wavy flashback...

{Harp music plays. It transitions to Lil' Strong Bad and Strong Sad, in front of a computer and printer. Strong Sad is typing.}

LIL' STRONG BAD: Hurry up, Diaper Stripe! I wanna print out that butt I made out of hyphens and dollar signs!

{Strong Sad hits a key, and a paper prints out of the printer.}

LIL' STRONG BAD: Did you hear that?

{Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which reads "Preeeeow, world."}

LIL' STRONG BAD: {offscreen} It said "Preeeeow!"

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And you were always phenomenal over the boards on defense!

{Cut to the stadium. Strong Bad is wearing a headband, dancing in front of a basketball hoop as though blocking it. Homestar Runner holds a football and is wearing kneepads and a purple shirt that reads "Team Kneepads 15". The scoreboard gives a score of "?" for the Home team and "$" for the Visitors.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Homestar has the ball at the top of the key. {bounces the football twice} Dribble, dribble, {throws it toward the hoop} shoot!

{The Paper comes down reading "Manute Bol" in front of the hoop, blocking the shot. Strong Bad looks up.}

STRONG BAD: Ooooh! {closeup} Get that weak mess outta here!

{Cut to a closeup of Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, man! Wish I had a time-and-space-transcending piece of paper on my team.

{Cut back a bit. Homsar is hovering in midair behind Homestar, wearing a similar shirt but with the number ".4". He has a kneepad on his hat instead of his legs.}

HOMSAR: {his hat flies offscreen} AaAaAaAaAaAaA {his hat lands on Strong Bad} aAaAaAaAa...

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, over Homsar} I will admit, I wasn't crazy about your goth phase.

{Cut to Strong Bad in the computer room, in front of the Compy. A black version of the paper designed to resemble bat wings comes down with a purple glow and a drop of blood that slowly drips off. It has the usual text printed in a Gothic font, but it's nearly unreadable.}

STRONG BAD: Ahh! {Looks up, holds up his hands in a defensive stance.}

{Cut to Strong Bad in front of the Compy up close.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Or your preppy phase, for that matter.

{The Paper comes down. It appears to be wearing a pink polo shirt with a turquoise scarf. The shirt has "Tennis" stitched into it with an image of a tennis racket above it. Only the word "golf" is visible on The Paper itself. Strong Bad looks up, then down.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} But you always watched out for your younger brothers and sisters.

{Another drop of blood drips down from The Paper. Cut to computer room with the Lappy on the desk. Homestar is wrapped up in paper dangling from the ceiling. A bottle of Mountain Dew is visible on the desk.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Look, I was just trying to pour Mountain Dew on it! Ohwait. I mean Mello Yello on it! Ohwait. I mean Sierra Mist!

{Cut to a closeup of Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Fresca! Surge!

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And who knows how many times you saved my shiny black keister?

{Cut to Strong Bad, on the Island, which has a hole in it and is slowly sinking. Strong Bad is wearing a ragged bandanna. Many shark fins appear circling the island.}

STRONG BAD: How is this island sinking?! I didn't even kill any end bosses!

{The Paper comes down reading "Anybody need a lift?"}

STRONG BAD: {looking up} The Paper! I thought you were still in Pyongyang! Let's go! Jump!

{He jumps up and grabs The Paper, which reels upwards. But back to a silhouetted version of the scene over a sunset. Strong Bad and The Paper appear to be flying away from the island. Video game music plays. The words "GAME OVER" and "PROGRAMMERS:" appear after a moment as the island sinks completely. Transition back to the computer room.}

STRONG BAD: I can't believe this is really it!

{Cut to a closeup of The Paper. It prints out "iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO."}

STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Farewell—

{Cut to a full shot. Strong Bad pats the printer.}

STRONG BAD: —my stripèd friend.

{Strong Bad pulls out the BMW Lighter. Cut to a closeup of The Paper again. Strong Bad burns it, leaving ashes that read "BYE NOW". Cut back.}

STRONG BAD: {singing, distressed} And The Paper goeth into the {a spotlight shines down on Strong Bad} niiIIiiIIiiIIght!

{The scene fades out, then back in to Strong Bad in front of the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {looking up} How's it comin' up there, Bubs?

{Bubs's hand drops down.}

BUBS: I'm almost finished!

{For a few seconds, Bubs mumbles and socket wrench noises are heard.}

BUBS: {ofscreen} There!

STRONG BAD: {typing} Alright, now hit us with some Preeow 2.0!

{A new paper comes down slowly making shuffling noises. A key with "@" is drawn on the left, and an envelope with Strong Bad's face in it is drawn on the right. The text and graphics on the new paper are slightly striped with white, and the "@" key is striped with cyan, yellow and magenta on the bottom.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} What the? How am I ever supposed to pronounce that garglemesh? {imitating the printer's noises} Heunh heownh heunh heownh vvvvvt eangt clonk-a-donk. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue. Alright New Paper, you are officially on trial status. So ya better get to impressin'!

{New Paper comes down a little more, printing out an ASCII art butt made with hyphens and dollar signs, with "(but, a butt)" printed next to it.}

STRONG BAD: Hm. Well... that's a start.

Easter Eggs

  • Click "Butt" at the end to see Homestar tangled in the Paper later on that day.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing to the tune of Neverending Story} The blood is rushing to my head... Blacking out, blacking out, blacking out...
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Bouncing his football} Dribble dribble, shoot! Dribble dribble, shoot shoot! {Continues over Coach Z's lines}
COACH Z: {Leaning into frame} Ooh, dang! {Claps four times} Ooh, dang! {Claps four times}
{Both continue over Strong Bad's lines}
STRONG BAD: {Leaning into frame} Look! We're not doing this again. Look! We're not doing this again. {Record scratch, Homestar and Coach Z stop} We're really not doing this again!
{Scoreboard changes from ? to G}

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • Strong Bad's comment about not having defeated any end bosses is a reference to "load bearing bosses", bosses in video games that, when defeated, result in the destruction of the surrounding environment.

Trivia

  • During the flashback of Homestar being tangled up by The Paper, the screen of Lappy 486 reads:

Remarks

  • In more armies, The Paper came down crumpled and torn. However, when it comes out the printer here, it comes out just fine.

Goofs

  • During The Paper's "preppy" phase, the contrast can affect the area outside the Compy's screen.
  • When the printer is falling onto Strong Bad, there is a section of paper sticking out of it. When you see the printer on the ground there's no paper until it starts printing.
  • There are extra lengths of paper sticking out when the paper says, "iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO." On the next close-up to the paper, these extra lengths are missing.

Inside References

  • The departure of The Paper was foretold in montage and implied in the previous email, more armies.
  • The music when Strong Bad is carried off the island is from Population: Tire.
  • The rhythmic Easter egg and Strong Bad's "Look, we're not doin' this again!" are references to the previous toon, One Two, One Two.
  • After Strong Bad interrupts the rhythmic Easter egg, the scoreboard changes to G.
  • Homestar refers to autobiography when he says, "Homestar has the ball at the top of the key!"
  • Lil' Strong Bad's duck shirt is a variation of the Duckie Shirt.
  • "And The Paper goeth into the niiIIiiIIiiIIght!" is a reference to the tag first sung in guitar.
  • In the Easter egg where Homestar sings "The blood is rushing to my head", it is to the same tune from "The Never Ending Story" as the Easter egg in email anything, in which he sang "Never-ending Soda", also in reference to Mountain Dew.
  • The pear and leaves wallpaper was first seen in the email no loafing.
  • The computer seen in the flashback is the same computer used in the Email Processing Room.
  • Homestar's "Kneepads Team" could be referring to "Homestar's Knees Tech", from mascot.

Real-World References

  • "Preeeeow, world", is a reference to "hello world" programs.
  • The song Homestar sings is a parody of the theme song of the 1984 fantasy movie The NeverEnding Story, which he previously sang in anything.
  • Mountain Dew, Mello Yello, Sierra Mist, Fresca, and Surge are all citrus-flavored sodas.
  • Tastykakes are snack cakes made by the Tasty Baking Company in Philadelphia since 1914. Available for the most part only in the Eastern section of the US, the cakes are often shipped to people now in other parts of the world who grew up with the treats while living in the East.
  • The football Homestar dribbles in the gym is an old ball from the defunct XFL football league.
  • Manute Bol is a Sudanese-born basketball player and activist. He is known for his height, which allowed him to become a top shot blocker in the NBA.
  • Pyongyang is the capital city of North Korea.
  • The word "garglemesh" is a pun on the name of Gilgamesh, an ancient king of Uruk

External Links

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