the paper
From Homestar Runner Wiki
- This article is about the Strong Bad Email. For the Pseudocharacter, see The Paper.
| Strong Bad Email #173 |
|
Strong Bad reminisces about The Paper.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Lil' Strong Bad, Lil' Strong Sad, Homestar Runner, Homsar, Bubs, Coach Z (Easter egg)
Places: Computer Room
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: Monday, June 11, 2007
Running Time: 3:08
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: Check the deck, y'all! Press eject, y'all! Well, it's another email and I'm about to reject y'all!
subject: The Paper...Dear Strongbad,
Is the Paper really quitting? Could you tell me the best
moment that you had with the paper?
Thank You
Kyle Williams
North Ogden, Utah
{Strong Bad reads the state as "Ewwwtah".}
STRONG BAD: {typing} No, The Paper's not quitting, Kyle, you total Ogdenite. Ol' Papes is at the top of his game, the prime of his time, the cusp of his stuff!
{The printer falls onto Strong Bad, knocking him offscreen.}
STRONG BAD: OW!!!
{Cut back to show the full computer room. The wrecked printer is on the ground, with Strong Bad reeling next to it. The printer prints a sheet. A dramatic chords plays. Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which reads "I tHiNK i'MM rEAlllyy QUItTinG sTROng BBBaD".}
STRONG BAD: {offscreen} The Paper! No!!!
{Cut back to a shot of the whole screen.}
STRONG BAD: Why do all my thirty-year-old electronics keep breaking on me?!
{Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which prints out some more text reading "wE haDd A goOd RUN, oLD buDddy."}
STRONG BAD: {offscreen} We sure did, pal.
{Cut back}
STRONG BAD: Why, I remember the day you were born like it was about to happen in a wavy flashback...
{Harp music plays. It transitions to Lil' Strong Bad and Strong Sad, in front of a computer and printer. Strong Sad is typing.}
LIL' STRONG BAD: Hurry up, Diaper Stripe! I wanna print out that butt I made out of hyphens and dollar signs!
{Strong Sad hits a key, and a paper prints out of the printer.}
LIL' STRONG BAD: Did you hear that?
{Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which reads "Preeeeow, world."}
LIL' STRONG BAD: {offscreen} It said "Preeeeow!"
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And you were always phenomenal over the boards on defense!
{Cut to the stadium. Strong Bad is wearing a headband, dancing in front of a basketball hoop as though blocking it. Homestar Runner holds a football and is wearing kneepads and a purple shirt that reads "Team Kneepads 15". The scoreboard gives a score of "?" for the Home team and "$" for the Visitors.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Homestar has the ball at the top of the key. {bounces the football twice} Dribble, dribble, {throws it toward the hoop} shoot!
{The Paper comes down reading "Manute Bol" in front of the hoop, blocking the shot. Strong Bad looks up.}
STRONG BAD: Ooooh! {closeup} Get that weak mess outta here!
{Cut to a closeup of Homestar}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, man! Wish I had a time-and-space-transcending piece of paper on my team.
{Cut back a bit. Homsar is hovering in midair behind Homestar, wearing a similar shirt but with the number ".4". He has a kneepag on his hat instead of his legs.}
HOMSAR: {his hat flies offscreen} AaAaAaAaAaAaA {his hat lands on Strong Bad} aAaAaAaAa...
STRONG BAD: {voiceover, over Homsar} I will admit, I wasn't crazy about your goth phase.
{Cut to Strong Bad in the computer room, in front of the Compy. A black version of the paper designed to resemble bat wings comes down with a purple glow and a drop of blood that slowly drips off. It has the usual text printed in a Gothic font, but it's nearly unreadable.}
STRONG BAD: Ahh! {Looks up, holds up his hands in a defensive stance.}
{Cut to Strong Bad in front of the Compy up close.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Or your preppy phase, for that matter.
{The Paper comes down. It appears to be wearing a pink polo shirt with a turquoise scarf. The shirt has "Tennis" stitched into it with an image of a tennis racket above it. Only the word "golf" is visible on The Paper itself. Strong Bad looks up, then down.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} But you always watched out for your younger brothers and sisters.
{Another drop of blood drips down from The Paper. Cut to computer room with the Lappy on the desk. Homestar is wrapped up in paper dangling from the ceiling. A bottle of Mountain Dew is visible on the desk.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Look, I was just trying to pour Mountain Dew on it! Ohwait. I mean Mello Yello on it! Ohwait. I mean Sierra Mist!
{Cut to a closeup of Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: ???! Surge!
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And who knows how many times you saved my shiny black keister?
{Cut to Strong Bad, on the Island, which has a hole in it and is slowly sinking. Strong Bad is wearing a ragged bandanna. Many shark fins appear circling the island.}
STRONG BAD: How is this island sinking?! I didn't even kill any end bosses!
{The Paper comes down reading "Anybody need a lift?"}
STRONG BAD: {looking up} The Paper! I thought you were still in Pyongyang! Let's go! Jump!
{He jumps up and grabs The Paper, which reels upwards. But back to a silhouetted version of the scene over a sunset. Strong Bad and The Paper appear to be flying away from the island. Video game music plays. The words "GAME OVER" and "PROGRAMMERS:" appear after a moment as the island sinks completely. Transition back to the computer room.}
STRONG BAD: I can't believe this is really it!
{Cut to a closeup of The Paper. It prints out "iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO."}
STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Farewell—
{Cut to a full shot. Strong Bad pats the printer.}
STRONG BAD: —my stripèd friend.
{Strong Bad pulls out the BMW Lighter. Cut to a closeup of The Paper again. Strong Bad burns it, leaving ashes that read "BYE NOW". Cut back.}
STRONG BAD: {singing, distressed} And The Paper goeth into the {a spotlight shines down on Strong Bad} niiIIiiIIiiIIght!
{The scene fades out, then back in to Strong Bad in front of the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: {looking up} How's it comin' up there, Bubs?
{Bubs' hand drops down.}
BUBS: I'm almost finished!
{For a few seconds, Bubs mumbles and zapping noises are heard.}
BUBS: {ofscreen} There!
STRONG BAD: {typing} Alright, now hit us with some Preeow 2.0!
{A new paper comes down slowly making shuffling noises. A key with "@" is drawn on the left, and an evelope with Strong Bad's face in it is drawn on the right.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} What the? How am I ever supposed to pronounce that garglemesh? {imitating the printer's noises} Heunh heownh heunh heownh vvvvvt eangt clonk-a-donk. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue. Alright New Paper, you are officially on trial status. So ya better get to impressin'!
{New Paper comes down a little more, printing out an ASCII butt made with hyphens and dollar signs, with "(but, a butt)" printed next to it.}
STRONG BAD: Hm. Well... that's a start.
Easter Eggs
- Click "Butt" at the end to see Homestar tangled in the Paper later on that day.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing) The blood is rushing to my head... Blacking out, blacking out, blacking out...
- Click "impressin'" at the end to see a revisit of One Two, One Two.
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Bouncing his football} Dribble dribble, shoot! Dribble dribble shoot! {Continues over Coach Z's lines}
- COACH Z: {Leaning into frame} Ooh, dang! {Claps five times} Ooh, dang! {Claps five times}
- {Both continue over Strong Bad's lines}
- STRONG BAD: {Leaning into frame} Look! We're not doing this again. Look! We're not doing this again. {Record scratch, Homestar and Coach Z stop} We're really not doing this again!
- {Scoreboard changes from ? to G}
Fun Facts
Trivia
- The Floppy Disk Container reads "Logo" and "colonel's bequest" in the flashbacks. In the present, it reads "rise of the triad".
- During the flashback of Homestar being tangled up by The Paper, the screen of Lappy 386 reads:
Look, Darius, if you want me to eat a Philly cheesesteak
instead of answering an email this week, you got it. No
skin off my back. I'll eat a couple-a Tastykakes while I'm
at it, too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta skee-dat.
- The song Homestar sings in the "Butt" Easter Egg is the melody of the chorus from the title track of movie The Never Ending Story.
Goofs
- During The Paper's "preppy" phase, the contrast can affect the area outside the Compy's screen.
Inside References
- The death of The Paper was predicted in montage.
- The music when Strong Bad is carried off the island is from Population: Tire.
- The rhythmic Easter egg is a reference to the previous toon, One Two, One Two.
- After Strong Bad interrupts the rhythmic Easter egg, the scoreboard changes to G.
- Homestar references autobiography when he says, "Homestar has the ball at the top of the key!"
- Homestar says he was trying to pour a citrus-flavored drink on the Lappy, a reference to anything.
- Lil' Strong Bad's duck shirt is similar to the shirt Homestar wore in flashback.
- Homestar mentions Mountain Dew as well as several other real-world brands of similar soda.
- 'And The Paper goeth into the niiIIiiIIiiIIght!' is a reference to Trogdor's theme first heard in dragon.
- In the easter egg where Homestar sings "The blood is rushing to my head", it is to the same tune as the easter egg in email anything, in which he sang "Never-ending Soda", also in reference to mountain dew.
- The pear and leafs wallpaper was first seen in the email no loafing.
Real-World References
- "Preeeeow, world", is a reference to "hello world" programs.
- The song Homestar sings is a reference to the theme song of the 1984 fantasy movie The NeverEnding Story.
- Mountain Dew, Mello Yello, Sierra Mist, and Surge are all real world citrus flavored sodas that apparently exist in the Homestar Runner universe.
External Links
- watch "the paper"
- watch "the paper" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "the paper"
- forum thread re: "the paper"
