the paper
From Homestar Runner Wiki
- This article is about the Strong Bad Email. For the Pseudocharacter, see The Paper.
| Strong Bad Email #173 |
|
Strong Bad reminisces about The Paper.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad
Places: Computer Room
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: Monday, June 11, 2007
Running Time: 3:08
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
Jay (Talk | contribs) is currently adding or changing substantial content. As a courtesy, until this tag is removed please do not edit this transcript unless absolutely necessary.
STRONG BAD: Check the deck, y'all! Press eject, y'all! Well, it's another email I'm about to reject y'all!
subject: The Paper...Dear Strongbad,
Is the Paper really quitting? Could you tell me the best
moment that you had with the paper?
Thank You
Kyle Williams
North Ogden, Utah
{Strong Bad reads the state as "Ewwwtah".}
STRONG BAD: {typing} No, The Paper's not quitting, Kyle, you total Ogdenite. Ol' Papes is at the top of his game, the prime of his time, the cusp of his stuff!
{The printer falls onto Strong Bad, knocking him offscreen.}
STRONG BAD: OW!!!
{Cut back to show the full computer room. The wrecked printer is on the ground, with Strong Bad reeling next to it. The printer prints a sheet. A dramatic chords plays. Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which reads "I tHiNK i'MM rEAlllyy QUItTinG sTROng BBBaD".}
STRONG BAD: {offscreen} The Paper! No!!!
{Cut back to a shot of the whole screen.}
STRONG BAD: Why do all my thirty-year-old electronics keep breaking on me?!
{Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which prints out some more text reading "wE haDd A goOd RUN, oLD buDddy."}
STRONG BAD: {offscreen} We sure did, pal.
{Cut back}
STRONG BAD: Why, I remember the day you were born like it was about to happen in a wavy flashback...
{Harp music plays. It transitions to Li'l Strong Bad and Strong Sad, in front of a computer and printer. Strong Sad is typing.}
LI'L STRONG BAD: Hurry up, Diaper Stripe! I wanna print out that butt I made out of hyphens and dollar signs!
{Strong Sad hits a key, and a paper prints out of the printer.}
LI'L STRONG BAD: Did you hear that?
{Cut to a closeup of The Paper, which reads "Preeeeow, world."}
LI'L STRONG BAD: {offscreen} It said "Preeeeow!"
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And you were always phenomenal over the boards on defense!
{Cut to the stadium. Strong Bad is wearing a headband, dancing in front of a basketball hoop as though blocking it. Homestar Runner holds a football and is wearing kneepads and a purple shirt that reads "Team Kneepads 15". The scoreboard gives a score of "?" for the Home team and "$" for the Visitors.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Homestar has the ball at the top of the key. {bounces the football twice} Dribble, dribble, {throws it toward the hoop} shoot!
{The Paper comes down reading "Manute Bol" in front of the hoop, blocking the shot. Strong Bad looks up.}
STRONG BAD: Ooooh! {closeup} Get that weak mess outta here!
{Cut to a closeup of Homestar}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, man! Wish I had a time-and-space-transcending piece of paper on my team.
{Cut back a bit. Homsar is hovering in midair behind Homestar, wearing a similar shirt but with the number ".4". He has a kneepag on his hat instead of his legs.}
HOMSAR: {his hat flies offscreen} AaAaAaAaAaAaA {his hat lands on Strong Bad} aAaAaAaAa...
STRONG BAD: {voiceover, over Homsar} I will admit, I wasn't crazy about your goth phase.
{Cut to Strong Bad in the computer room, in front of the Compy. A black version of the paper designed to resemble bat wings comes down with a purple glow and a drop of blood that slowly drips off. It has the usual text printed in a Gothic font, but it's nearly unreadable.}
STRONG BAD: Ahh! {Looks up, holds up his hands in a defensive stance.}
'{Cut to Strong Bad in front of the Compy up close.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Or your preppy phase, for that matter.
{The Paper comes down. It appears to be wearing a pink polo shirt with a turquoise scarf. The shirt has "Tennis" stitched into it with an image of a tennis racket above it. Only the word "golf" is visible on The Paper itself. Strong Bad looks up, then down.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} But you always looked out for your younger brothers and sisters.
{Another drop of blood drips down from The Paper. Cut to computer room with the Lappy on the desk. Homestar is wrapped up in paper dangling from the ceiling. A bottle of Mountain Dew is visible on the desk.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Look, I was just trying to pour Mountain Dew on it! Ohwait. I mean Mello Yello on it! Ohwait. I mean Sierra Mist!
{Cut to a closeup of Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: ???! Surge!
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And who knows how many times you saved my shiny black keister?
{Cut to Strong Bad, on the Island, which has a hole in it and is slowly sinking. Strong Bad is wearing a ragged bandanna. Many shark fins appear circling the island.}
STRONG BAD: How is this island sinking?! I didn't even kill any end bosses!
{The Paper comes down reading "Anybody need a lift?"}
STRONG BAD: {looking up} The Paper! I thought you were still in ???! Let's go!
{He jumps up and grabs The Paper, which reels upwards. But back to a silhouetted version of the scene over a sunset. Strong Bad and The Paper appear to be flying away from the island. Video game music plays. The words "GAME OVER" and "PROGRAMMERS:" appear after a moment as the island sinks completely. Transition back to the computer room.}
STRONG BAD: I can't believe this is really it!
{Cut to a closeup of The Paper. It prints out "iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO."}
STRONG BAD: {offscreen} Farewell—
{Cut to a full shot. Strong Bad pats the printer.}
STRONG BAD: —my stripèd friend.
{Strong Bad pulls out the BMW Lighter. Cut to a closeup of The Paper again. Strong Bad burns it, leaving ashes that read "BYE NOW". Cut back.}
STRONG BAD: {singing, distressed} And The Paper goeth into the {a spotlight shines down on Strong Bad} niiIIiiIIiiIIght!
{The scene fades out, then back in to Strong Bad in front of the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: {looking up} How's it comin' up there, Bubs?
{Bubs' hand drops down.}
BUBS: I'm almost finished!
{For a few seconds, Bubs mumbles and zapping noises are heard.}
BUBS: {ofscreen} There!
STRONG BAD: {typing} Alright, now hit us with some Preeow 2.0!
{A new paper comes down slowly making shuffling noises. A key with "@" is drawn on the left, and an evelope with Strong Bad's face in it is drawn on the right.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} What the? How am I ever supposed to pronounce that garglemesh? {imitating the printer's noises} Heunh heownh heunh heownh vvvvvt eangt clonk-a-donk. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue. Alright New Paper, you are officially on trial status. So ya better get to impressin'!
{New Paper comes down a little more, printing out an ASCII butt made with hyphens and dollar signs, with "(but, a butt)" printed next to it.}
STRONG BAD: Well... that's a start.
Easter Eggs
- Click "Butt" at the end to see Homestar tangled in the Paper later on that day.
- Click "impressin'" at the end to see a revisit of One Two, One Two.
Fun Facts
Trivia
- The Floppy Disk Container reads "Logo" in the flashback. In the present, it reads "rise of the triad".
- During the flashback of Homestar being tangled up by The Paper, the screen of Lappy 386 reads:
Look, Darius, if you want me to eat a Philly cheesesteak
instead of answering an email this week, you got it. No
skin off my back. I'll eat a couple-a Tastyukakes while I'm
at it, too. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta skee-dat.
Goofs
- During The Paper's "preppy" phase, the contrast can affect the area outside the Compy's screen.
Inside References
- The death of The Paper was predicted in montage.
- The music when Strong Bad is carried off the island is from Population: Tire.
- The rhythmic Easter egg is a reference to the previous toon, One Two, One Two.
- After Strong Bad interrupts the rhythmic Easter egg, the scoreboard changes to G.
- Homestar references autobiography when he says, "Homestar has the ball at the top of the key!"
- Homestar says he was trying to pour a citrus-flavored drink on the Lappy, a reference to anything.
- Lil' Strong Bad's duck shirt is similar to the shirt Homestar wore in flashback.
Real-World References
- The song Homestar sings is a reference to the theme song of the 1984 fantasy movie The NeverEnding Story.
External Links
- watch "the paper"
- watch "the paper" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "the paper"
- forum thread re: "the paper"
