the movies

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 21:35, 7 April 2007 by Has Matt? (Talk | contribs)
Jump to: navigation, search
Strong Bad Email #167
watch unnatural your funeral
"Good evening, Bontilda. Forty-twone will be on your lest."

Strong Bad's annoyance with fellow moviegoers builds to an explosive climax.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Senor Cardgage, Pom Pom, Coach Z, Strong Sad, The King of Town, The Knight, The Hornblower, The Blacksmith, Homestar Runner

Places: Computer Room, The Movie Theater, The Field (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Running Time: 3:51

Page Title: Lappy 486

Contents

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Coach Z is not that cool; here comes an email.

{Strong Bad reads the name and address as "A person called Cooper, from the city of Franklin, in the state of Tennessee."}

STRONG BAD: Told you I could do it.

THE CHEAT: {offscreen} {grudging The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Oh, I feel ya, Coopreme. It's a good thing they make you turn off your bazookas before movies man, or every one of my theater-going experiences would end in smoldering crater fashion.

{Cut to a cinema entrance lobby. Posters for Dangeresque 3 and King Bubsgonzola Supreme hang in the background. Senor Cardgage is an usher; Strong Bad, The Cheat, and Pom Pom walk in.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} The experience starts out promising enough...

SENOR CARDGAGE: Good efening, Bontilda. {takes Strong Bad's ticket and tears it} Forty-twone will be on your lest.

STRONG BAD: Just you watch, The Cheat. Some day I'm gonna be the one tearing tickets and telling folks that forty-twone will be on their lest.

{Cut inside the cinema. Coach Z is watching the movie screen, fidgeting and thinking hard.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} It begins with the genius who can't resist answering the oh-so-challenging film trivia slides they show before the movie.

COACH Z: Oh, I know this one! The Brat Pack! Pan-and-scan! Spencer Tracy!

{Cut to Strong Bad. The Cheat is visible on the right.}

STRONG BAD: Real impressive, Ebert. We've only seen this slide ten times since we all sat down.

ANNOUNCER: {voiceover} If you answered "B", you're ready for film school.

{Cut back to Coach Z}

COACH Z: Awr, it was {hits himself} ice cold refreshment.

{Cut to the screen, which reads:}

MOVIE & REFRESHMENT TRIVIA*

The correct answer was :
B: Ice Cold Refreshment

*ACTUALLY JUST REFRESHMENT TRIVIA

COACH Z: I should've known.

{Another slide is shown on the screen, with a picture of a bazooka with six tally marks on it, labeled "Please Be Considerate. Because no one wants to watch a smoldering crater."}

ANNOUNCER: Be considerate of others. Please turn off your bazookas before the progrum.

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Then, once the movie starts, don't forget the guy who insists on rattling off the complete filmographies of each of the actors.

{Cut back to the audience, and pan from Pom Pom to Strong Sad.}

MOVIE: {voiceover} —but when I returned, the DNA evidence was gone!

STRONG SAD: Ooh, {points at screen} and he had a cameo as Stevedore #2 in the prequel, and he was in that car commercial with the wisecracking transmission, and he has a Bacon number of 4! {holds up four fingers}

STRONG BAD: {gets up and turns back to face Strong Sad} And this is my FIST! {raises said fist} You might remember it from Bloodied Pulp, the amazingly true story of your face in five seconds! {sits back down}

STRONG SAD: {pointing at Strong Bad} He was in Dangeresque 1 and 2!

{Cut to The Cheat, who is sitting next to Strong Bad and eating popcorn.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And if you think the guy sitting next to you munching popcorn is bad, {Strong Bad's head turns slowly in The Cheat's direction} try going to a theater where people regularly sneak in their own all-you-can-eat fajitas!

{Cut to the King of Town, who is holding a frying pan covered in sizzling food, with a stack of similar pans in the seat beside him.}

THE KING OF TOWN: {Looks at the camera} What?! This was all in my box of Milk Duds.

{Pan back, behind the King of Town, there are the Knight (with a guitar), the Hornblower (with a horn) and the Blacksmith (with maracas). The three of them play a brief Mariachi melody. Cut back to Strong Bad.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And that brings me to the little girl behind me who wouldn't shut up.

{Pan behind Strong Bad, Homestar Runner is standing there, wearing a viking helmet.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Ever and more! Ever and more! Ever and more!

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} This is the kind of person that likes to talk to the movie. But not in the usual {Homestar mouths Strong Bad's words} "Don't go in there!" or {Homestar mouths Strong Bad's words again} "Oh no he di'n't!" type of way. He just... makes small talk with the characters, and chit-chat.

{Cut through white to some time in the movie. Homestar is sitting on his seat, with the viking helmet on the seat next to him.}

MOVIE: {voiceover} Well, I figured out their plan.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, I figured I'd just cut up some iceberg lettuce, throw some tomatoes on there, maybe a little catalina. Nothing fancy, nothing fancy.

{Cut through white to later in the movie. Homestar is lying on his seat, with his head resting on the helmet.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, man, have you ever been to a ground-breaking? I mean, what is the point of those things?

{Cut through white again, Homestar is lying upside down on his seat, with his legs in the air.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You know where the real money is? {shakes his legs} Phone books.

{Cut through white yet again, Homestar is sitting up normally.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I wonder how you spell tabasco. {stands up} TABASCOooo!

STRONG BAD: {Gets up from his seat again and turns around.} What is wrong with you people?! Do you not notice the giant movie over here? Were all the local sit-around-and-suck-out-loud places closed?!

{Strong Bad picks up a bazooka, holds it beside his head like a cell phone, and imitates a ringtone.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, di-a-lo-do, da-a-lo-do, di-a-lo-do, die!!

{Strong Bad lowers the bazooka to point at the camera and fires it. Fade back to the computer room.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So, that's why I'm not allowed at the movies anymore. But I don't care. I brought my movie viewing into the digital age. And I dig-it-all!!! Check it out!

{Strong Bad runs "karatecar.exe". An ASCII art movie starts. A stick figure man walks along a street, with buildings in the background, and a car drives across. The stick figure jumps and does a somersault over the car just before he gets hit.}

STRONG BAD: {quietly} Oh, look out, Mister Slashy-Man!

{The movie cuts to a closeup of the car.}

STRONG BAD: {quietly} Ooh, something exciting!

{The movie cuts to a closeup of the stick figure man, who says "Now THAT was a sports car!". He then does some karate moves and says "Hi-YA!".}

STRONG BAD: {quietly} Aah, I guess I'm talking during the movie! Kind of a hypocrite! Gonna shut up now!

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on the "@" at the end to see a film trivia screen.

MOVIE & REFRESHMENT TRIVIA*

What can you get at the concession
stand for $10, $10 or $13?

A. Luke Wilson
B. 16:9 Anamorphic
C. Hot, Hot Buttery Popcorn
D. 'Battleship Potemkin'

*ACTUALLY JUST REFRESHMENT TRIVIA

  • Click on the "Hi-YA" at the end to see Homestar in a smoldering crater sitting in a theater seat with a frame of a movie poster protruding from the side of the crater:
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh man. This movie has it all. Cinema has never Luked so Wilson.

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • Pan and Scan refers to a technique by which film originally shot in widescreen format is transferred into a format compatible with the shape of common TV screens. In contrast, DVDs made using an anamorphic widescreen technique automatically fill high-definition television screens that have a 16:9 aspect ratio and make full use of the available resolution.
  • Catalina is a type of salad dressing made from tomato ketchup and sugar.
  • ASCII art is an artistic medium that makes pictures entirely out of typed characters.
  • A groundbreaking is a photo-op ceremony in which executives or other noteworthy people dig the first shovel of dirt from a lot in which a new construction will be built.
  • The slashes on the bazooka in the "Be Considerate" ad are a common mark on guns, tanks, and war ships to show how many kills they've made.
  • A stevedore is a person who works at or is responsible for loading and unloading ships in port.
  • The Knight, The Hornblower, and The Blacksmith are playing instruments as if they were in a mariachi band.

Trivia

  • The release date on the Dangeresque 3 poster is:
    COMING JUNE 2004
    APRIL 2005
    MEMORIALS DAY 2005
    AUGUST 2006
    WE'LL SEE...
  • Dangeresque's Cool Shades in the poster have three lenses, relating to it being the third film. The number "3" is also visible, reflected in the center lens.

Remarks

  • Despite the lack of a specific release date and that it just says "We'll see", the poster for Dangeresque 3 is still labeled "Now Playing".
  • When watching the ASCII art movie, Strong Bad says "Kind of a hypocrite!" because he was talking during it. However, he was yelling during the actual movie, and that is not mentioned.
  • Note that the ASCII art is actually not real ASCII art as some of the characters are of different font sizes.

Inside References

Real-World References

External Links

Personal tools