the facts
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad Email #114
Strong Bad tells Jess G.OH why Strong Mad can't have his own cartoon. Meanwhile, Homestar is determined that his "own cartoon" will be a #1 hit.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Homestar Runner
Places: Computer Room, Cubeland, Strong Bad's Basement, Strong Mad's Room
Computer: Compy 386
Date: September 20, 2004
Running Time: 2:53
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: {singing} I'm checkin' e-mail, I'm checkin' e-mail. Hey, hey, I'm checkin' e-mail, I'm checkin' e-mail.. {Strong Bad reads the email out loud}
Dear Strong Bad,
I was just wondering, why doesn't
Strong Mad have his own cartoon?
Your fan,
Jess G. OH
{He pronounces "Dear Strong Bad" as "Dah Sto Bo" and "Jess G. OH" as "Jess... G'oh!!"}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Well, Jess, as much as I cherish brother Graw Mad, let's look at the facts:
{A grid appears on the screen and lines "scan" across from top to bottom and then left to right, revealing an image of Strong Mad next to which it says "Fact 1:"}
STRONG BAD: Fact one: The guy's got a pretty tenuous grasp on the English language. {"Tenuous grasp of the English language" appears on the screen.} For examplé: {pronounced ex-AM-play}
{Cut to Strong Bad at his desk. He turns on his stool and calls off screen.}
STRONG BAD: Hey, Strong Mad! What, uh.. What's my favorite movie?
STRONG MAD: {from off-screen} GARBLEDINA!
{Cut back to the screen where it says "Fact 2:"}
STRONG BAD: Fact two: Garbledina. {"Garbledina" appears on the screen and the illustrated Strong Mad's eyebrows raise. Strong bad strikes a key and "Fact 3" appears.} Fact three: he's like a big square, this guy. {"Like a big square" appears and a box encloses the image of Strong Mad, which looks around nervously. The left and bottom edges are labeled "88 in."} I don't really know if that has anything to do with why he doesn't have his own cartoon. But it's just weird, is all. {"Just weird is all" appears on the screen} Un..settling. {"Unsettling" appears.}
{Cut to a landscape filled with blue and pink cubes and a yellow sky. Strong Mad appears with a loud "thud."}
STRONG BAD: I guess if he lived in Cubeland it might work, but.. Cubeland {A "Cubeland" logo flies in from the right and comes to rest in the upper-left corner.} is a place I just made up, so..on to fact four.
{Cut back to Strong Bad's screen which now reads "Fact 4."}
STRONG BAD: Zero volume control. {"No volume control" appears on the screen.} Once again, obsoyve. {The Strong Mad image glances at the text.}
{Cut to Strong Mad sitting behind a table with a small orange clay dinosaur and yellow and green clay upright cylinders. Strong Bad enters from the left.}
STRONG BAD: {whispering} Hey, biggest bro. Mom says to keep it down 'cause baby Strong Sad's sleeping.
STRONG MAD: I CAN BE THE QUIETEST MOUSE! {He holds up his right hand, index finger, and thumb together to demonstrate something very small, like a mouse.} I LIVE IN THE QUIETEST HOUSE! {He holds up his other hand in the same position.}
{Cut back to the screen. "Fact 5" is on the screen.}
STRONG BAD: Fact five: Directorial inexperience. {"Directorial inexperience" appears on the screen.}
{Pull out to Strong Bad typing the e-mail.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Considering the only movie Strong Mad's ever made is 'Doug the Dino,' I doubt he'd be able to handle an entire cartoon on his own.
{Cut to the television. After some static, a grainy video appears. A title made out of clay which says "DOUG THE DiNO" (the "O" in Dino is in the shape of an egg) appears.}
STRONG MAD: {narrating} DINOSAUR! {Cut to the two clay cylinders. The clay dinosaur enters. Strong Mad makes various noises to go along with the action. Doug the Dino roars. The green cylinder flips over like a Slinky and a smiling face appears on it. Suddenly, Doug the Dino attacks it and it spills clay blood. While Doug is eating the green cylinder, a tape dispenser can be seen for a few frames. The yellow cylinder appears to flee as Doug licks his lips. A clay toilet enters and Doug presses the flush lever. The seat lifts and a red appendage appears out of the toilet, grasps Doug by the face, and pulls him in. The green cylinder "sits up" and smiles and Strong Mad's hand can be seen leaning on the table for a few frames.}
{Cut back to Compy 386.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Y'see? Misguided direction, no comedic timing, and the script is riddled with gaping plot holes. {not typing} And finally, {typing} Fact 6: Have you seen his computer?!?
{Cut to Strong Mad's room, where Strong Mad has decorated a paper bag to look like Tandy 400 (with the word "DISK" on the screen) and an up-turned cardboard box to look like Strong Bad's Floppy Disk Container (which says "disks").}
STRONG MAD: E-COMMERCE! E-BUSINESS!!
{Cut back to Compy 386.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} So let's review. Fact 1: Ehgh--
{Pull out to Homestar Runner sitting on the desk, facing away from Strong Bad.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I want my own cartoon, Strong Bad.
STRONG BAD: What? I'm over here!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. {turns to face Strong Bad} I want my own cartoon, Pom Pom.
STRONG BAD: Homestar, a cartoon starring you would be horrible. It'd just be you saying "Sewiously" all the time and acting like a moron...all the time.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No, no! Not no more! I got a new catchphrase!
STRONG BAD: No.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You wanna hear it?
STRONG BAD: No!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'd be all the time sayin' "That's bupkis!" {whispering} Oh, sorry. "That's bupkis!"
STRONG BAD: What are you whispering for?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {whispering} Because! Baby Strong Sad is sleeping!
STRONG BAD: Now, you see this disgusting little chit-chat we're having here? This is what your cartoon would be like.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Then it'd be a number one hit! {singing} And that's the end of my show! DONK!
{The Paper comes down.}
STRONG BAD: Hey!
Easter Eggs
- Clicking on "Script" shows the entire script for Strong Mad’s epic film, 'Doug the Dino.'
int: dinosaur - day go dougie!! RAWR!! toilet. (drawing of a toilet)
- Click on Homestar's star at the end to see Homestar's commercial break bumper.
- {A screen featuring Homestar holding a popsicle and the words "We'll Be Right Back!" appears}
- HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing, voiceover} Homestar Runner will be right right back!
- Homestar Runner will be right right back!
- Homestar Runner will be right right back!
- We're coming right back after these messages!
- We're coming right back after these messageeeees...
Fun Facts
Explanations
- "Bupkis" is a Yiddish word used in English to mean 'nothing' or 'almost nothing'. Sample usage: "I work here for him ten hours a day, all week, and what does he give me? Bupkis!"
Trivia
- This is The Brothers Chaps' claymation debut.
- The box on Strong Mad's desk that says disks on it also reads 'NOT CAR PARTS' upside down.
- The email used to have a glitch in it. If you clicked the eject button on the video recorder during 'Doug the Dino', it would bring you back to the loading screen and freeze there. The glitch has been removed, though. The eject button is now unclickable. This may be due to the VCR being copied from the "Characters" menu. On that screen, the eject button pops out Homsar's tape.
Remarks
- If Strong Bad's measurements are correct, Strong Mad is 88 inches, or 7'4" (2.26 meters) tall and wide. However, The Cheat implied in i she be that Strong Mad was 6 feet tall. Meanwhile, according to a page that is no longer on the main site, Strong Mad weighs 900 lbs and is eight feet three inches tall. Of course, since it is known that Strong Mad is not actually a square; in fact, he's actually about 7.25% taller than he is wide. So, based on the dimensions given, if he were 88" wide, he would be approximately 95" tall. On the other hand, if he were 88" tall, he would only be about 82" wide. Finally, if he were 6' (72") tall as mentioned earlier, he would be a mere 67" wide.
- Plus, these measurements do not correspond with the measurements of the other characters.
- In Marshmallow's Last Stand, Strong Bad's and Strong Mad's weight combined is 1,000,000 Pounds. If Strong Bad weighs 150 pounds, then Strong Mad weighs 999,850 pounds! This contradicts Strong Bad's quote saying that he is 900 pounds.(Of course, this idea was an early one and is probably no longer true)
- Strong Mad seems to be making "Doug the Dino" in the scene of him in his room, as there is a toy dinosaur and a green cylinder shaped block on his table.
- Homestar Runner has claimed that "That's bupkus!" is his new catchphrase (to replace "Seriously..."), but he hasn't said it since this e-mail debuted.
Goofs
- When Homestar appears, there are no contrast buttons on the Compy.
Inside References
- The TV set that plays "Doug The Dino" is the Telebision from the Old Telebision Toons Menu.
- The VCR (in which the display is still blinking 12:00) is the same one that appears on the "Characters" menu and the emails 12:00 and dangeresque 3.
- Strong Bad calls Strong Mad Graw Mad. This is in similar style with car when he refers to Strong Sad as Gron Sad.
- "Doug The Dino" could be a reference to Strong Mad's affinity for the name "Douglas" the email cheat talk, which after a lot of work, he learned to say.
Real-World References
- The way Strong Bad says Jess G.OH's last name is a reference to The Simpsons, in which one of Homer Simpson's catch phrases is "D'oh!"
- The tune Homestar sings to in the Easter egg is the same tune as the theme song in Pac-Man Vs. for the Nintendo GameCube.
DVD Version
- The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
Commentary Transcript
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