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Strong Bad Tanning?

Strong Bad Email #77

Strong Bad discovers the awesomeness of black marker on stomach. Who needs pecs when you've got abs?

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The King of Town, Marzipan, The Announcer, Strong Sad, Homsar (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, The Field

Date: June 16, 2003

Running Time: 3:16



STRONG BAD: {singing} I met her in the summertime. Her name was... {high pitch singing} e-mail!


{Strong Bad says "EEEO HE! I think that's how you say that..." for the emoticon "^_~"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} That's a good point, KS. With the summer months all up on us, I'll probably be going shirtless more often than usual. I know one thing the ladies love more than a regular Strong Bad is a lightly toasted Strong Bad. {clears screen} And I guess it'll help to accentuate my abdominal muscles and my abs, and my cloits. They're already bulging all over the place as it is, but I guess a little more definition wouldn't kill me.

{Cut to Strong Bad lying on a towel, sunbathing in the field. Next to him are buckets labeled 'Animal Phat — "it's lard, yo!"' and 'cocoa butter'}

STRONG BAD: All right, c'mon, sun, show me what you got. Don't pull no punches neither. I want the real radioactive stuff.

{enter stage left, The King of Town, wearing round sunglasses}

THE KING OF TOWN: {Sniffs} Oh, there it is!

STRONG BAD: {rising from his towel} There what is?

THE KING OF TOWN: Ooh, nothing. Hi, Strong Bad. How are you this day?

STRONG BAD: Well, I was certainly better before you showed up. I'm still doing pretty good.

THE KING OF TOWN: {sneakily stealing the cocoa butter while Strong Bad isn't looking} Oh, good. Oh, well that's all I wanted to know. I guess I'll be moving on to a different smell—place. {shoots off stage right taking the cocoa butter}

STRONG BAD: What the—? Hey! He took my cocoa butter!

{The King of Town peeks back in and grabs the Animal Phat with his invisible hands}


{The words 6–8 hours later in the Compy 386 font appear on screen. Cut to Strong Bad sunbathing again. His chest is now extremely pink. Marzipan enters with a large, green oriental-style umbrella}

MARZIPAN: Strong Bad, how long have you been laying here?

STRONG BAD: I dunno, six, maybe eight hours.

MARZIPAN: You know, you're supposed to flip over every 15 minutes or so...

STRONG BAD: What? Who wants a tan on their back? There's no abs to accentuate. Not like up here. {stands, admiring his non-existant abs} Ooh, check it out, Ab City, USA. {Shaking hips. We can see that Strong Bad's back is lily-white.} do do do.

MARZIPAN: Strong Bad, I don't see a single ab.

STRONG BAD: What are you talking about, it's like a cold one brewery over here, there's so many six-packs. {producing a sharpie marker} check it out, {drawing abs onto his chest} one, two, threefourfivesix. Oops, forgot the hatching. {adds shading}

MARZIPAN: Aren't you supposed to have pecs?

STRONG BAD: Don't need 'em! That's why they call me Double A. All Abs.

MARZIPAN: That's weird.

{Marzipan exits stage left}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, I bet I could make some serious dough off this idea. I could be like, a thousandaire, or at least a hundredaire.

{cut to fake ad, with Strong Bad's Ab-Abber 2000 zooming in slowly}

ANNOUNCER: Introducing the all new Strong Bad Ab-Abber 2000! Get results like the professionals in {words appear on screen} Minutes! Nay! Seconds! Just listen to this guy over here!

{cut to Strong Sad holding the Ab-Abber 2000}

STRONG SAD: {sounding like he is reading off of a tele-prompter} Since using Strong Bad's Ab-Abber Two Thousand {pronounces thousand as Thous And} the ladies have been all up ons. {talking to someone off camera} All up ons? I don't even know what that means!

STRONG BAD: {off camera} Well, Strong Sad, it means they really like you.

STRONG SAD: But they don't! Especially now with all this Sharpie on my stomach.

STRONG BAD: Just read the lines, man.

{Strong Bad's hand appears on camera holding what appears to be a plush lobster}

STRONG BAD: Do you want to see Gooblies again or not?

STRONG SAD: You leave Gooby out of this!

{Cut to: Close up of the Ab-Abber 2000 box with words "Act Now!" flashing at the top of the screen}

ANNOUNCER: Act now and recieve the Cloitsterizer {words appear at bottom of screen} Abs-solutely free! {words disappear} Max out your {words appear flashing in center screen} Cloits and Dloits!!?! with the ease of a thousandaire. Strong Bad's Ab-Abber 2000. {words appear} "They'll be all up ons!"

{The Paper appears}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on the little "G" tag (right side, up near Strong Bad's hand) on Strong Sad's lobster Gooblies to see a Homsar celebrity testimonial.

Easter Egg Transcript

{Homsar is shown with a calculator displaying the word "SALAd" drawn on his shirt. The words "Celebrity(?) Testimonial" are superimposed on the lower center of the screen.}

HOMSAR: AAAaaaAAAaaah!!! I'm just in time for the murder mystery!!!

  • Click on the marker at the end of the email to see the instructions for Strong Bad's Ab-Abber.
Strong Bad's Ab-Abber 2000 Instruction Manual
Use fine tip black
marker (not included)
to define the desired
abdominal muscles
(abs). Repeat as
often as necessary.
*Actual drawing.

Fun Facts


  • The use of "^_~" to represent a wink is an example of an emoticon. An emoticon, also called a smiley, is a sequence of printable characters such as :) or :-) that is intended to represent a human facial expression and convey an emotion.


  • According to the commentary on the DVD, Matt actually once had a stuffed lobster named Gooblies.
  • According to the commentary, the sunglasses the King is wearing actually belong to Marzipan.
  • According to the commentary, the sunglasses were based on an old pair Matt had, which he broke while shooting the Fhqwhgads karaoke video for the DVD.
  • The Cloitsterizer was actually an item that Matt and Mike saw a kid dragging in a thrift store.


  • The first bucket says "Animal Phat." Phat is a slang word meaning "cool," although it's intended to mean actual fat in this case. This ties in with the second phrase on the bucket: "It's lard, yo!," both a reference to the bucket's contents and the play on words.
  • Essentially abdominal muscles, abs, and cloits are the same thing.
  • According to the instructions of the ab-abber 2000, all you get is the box itself.


  • The abs drawn on Strong Sad's stomach have had the bizarre side effect of making his belly button completely disappear.

Inside References

  • When showing the commercial of Strong Bad's Ab Abber, the music that plays is taken from "action figure".

Real-World References

  • The facial hair on the man in the instructions is very similar to the style that was adopted by Frank Zappa.

DVD Version

  • The Homsar celebrity testimonial is automatically enabled, so no clicking is required.
  • The DVD version features hidden commentary by Mike, Matt, and Marzipan. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Matt Chapman, Marzipan)

MATT: Welcome to "suntan".

MIKE: We're joined here by Marzipan once again.

MARZIPAN: That's right.

MIKE: What do you think of that song? That's a little more tender side of Strong, Strong Bad, Marzipan.

MARZIPAN: He has this— He, he does have a tender side.


MIKE: Say something else.

MARZIPAN: Well, I'm listening right now.

MIKE: Okay.

MARZIPAN: I, I liked this e-mail...

MIKE: I like your, um... Well, we'll talk about it when it comes on.


MATT: I remember we did this, it was kind of— Didn't I just come back from a vacation and actually had a pretty bad, pretty bad sunburn?

MIKE: {overlapping} Yeah, so, timely.

MARZIPAN: That's true. You know, and after this e-mail for the next few months, uh, Matt and Mike both kept drawing abs on their bodies and going around shirtless in the studio. {Matt laughs} It was very distracting for most of us ladies.

MIKE: I wish I could have that towel.

MATT: Yeah. I mean, that— that's a towel that, conceptually I swear I've seen before, but now I've searched {Mike chuckles} far and wide and can't find one with a bengal tiger on it. Or a Siberian tiger on it?

MARZIPAN: {overlapping} Those are— those are my sunglasses that the King of Town is wearing.

MATT: Really?

MIKE: Those are pretty sweet.

MATT: They're modelled after these, uh, glasses I have for sunchaps (?!?) {unintelligible}


MATT: Yeah. {short pause} That I actually just broke when we were doing the, uh, the half-pipe stuff for the karaoke video for "Everybody to the Limit".

MIKE: {overlapping} Oh, yeah.

MATT: They're broken now.

MIKE: You can watch that. If you watch closely, you can see the glasses fall off.

MARZIPAN: {gasps watching her character enter frame on the e-mail} Oh! That is the, um, the umbrella from Mike's cocktail.

MIKE: Yeah.

MARZIPAN: I just grabbed that at the last minute; I thought it really added to the scene.

MIKE: Yeah, I really like that.

MATT: It's clearly— yeah, it's clearly just a cocktail umbrella though, made large. {short pause} Now here's my favorite song. {we hear Strong Bad "sing", "do do do"} That's a good song.

MIKE: "Do do do"?

MATT: Look, he's neopolitan Strong Bad, with no chocolate.

MARZIPAN: Yeah, it was really hot out that day.

MATT: It looks pretty hot. There's some sweltering orange sky back there...

MIKE: {overlapping} Yeah, I did that uh...

MARZIPAN: Fortunately, I never sweat.

MIKE: {amused} Really?


MATT: Yeah, wait, see? Look, Marzipan's eyes were backwards!

MIKE: {overlapping} Yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right.

MATT: I, I apologize, Marzipan, on behalf of my brother Mike.

MARZIPAN: It made working very difficult that day. {Mike chuckles}

MATT: I bet. {pause} Did our friend Tobin coin that phrase? Or does he just use it?

MIKE: "Hundredaire"?

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: I don't know; it's possible.

MATT: He uses it extensively, which is good.

MARZIPAN: Who modelled for that, um, box top?

MIKE: Think it's Strong Bad.

MATT: Think it's Strong Bad himself.

MIKE: He's a character from our website. {Matt chuckles}

MATT: The background is great, Mike; it's very true to the, to the infomercial—

MIKE: {overlapping} Ron— {chuckles}

MATT: yeah, Ron, Ron Popeil.

MIKE: And here's, uh— Matt really had a, uh, stuffed lobster named Gooblas.

MATT: It's true. I don't know what Gooblas meant.

MIKE: {overlapping} There he is.


MATT: The Cloitsterizer is something we actually saw; eh, it's mentioned elsewhere on this DVD, but we saw a kid dragging that around a thrift store one day—

MIKE: Yeah.

MATT: a piece of wooden cheese on a string.

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