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Strong Bad Email #77

Strong Bad discovers the awesomeness of black marker on stomach. Who needs pecs when you've got abs?

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The King of Town, Strong Sad, Marzipan, Homsar (easter egg)


STRONG BAD: {singing and typing} I met her in the summertime. {stops typing} Her name was... {high pitch singing} e-mail!

{presses enter}

STRONG BAD: {reading email below}

Hey Strong Bad,
I thought you looked cute as a Japanese cartoon with the blue hair and everything. ^_~

STRONG BAD: {makes funny sounds} I think that's how you say that.

I was thinking you might look even better if you got out in the sun and got a nice tan. I've heard that a nice tan really helps your muscles stand out.
Meg, KS.

{presses enter}

STRONG BAD: That's a good point, KS. With the summer months all up on us, I'll probably be going shirtless more often than usual. I know one thing the ladies love more than a regular Strong Bad is a lightly toasted Strong Bad.

{presses enter}

STRONG BAD: And I guess it'll help to accentuate my abdominal muscles and my abs, and my cloits. They're already bulging all over the place as it is, but I guess a little more definition wouldn't kill me.

{cut to: Strong Bad lying on a towel, sunbathing in a field, probably near the stick. Next to him are buckets labeled 'Animal Phat - "it's lard, yo!"' and 'cocoa butter'}

STRONG BAD: Alright c'mon sun, show me what you got. Don't pull no punches neither. I want the real radioactive stuff.

{enter stage right, The King of Town, wearing round sunglasses}

THE KING OF TOWN: {Sniffs} Oh there it is!

STRONG BAD: {rising from his towel} There what is?

THE KING OF TOWN: Ooh nothing. Hi Strong Bad. How are you this day?

STRONG BAD: Well, I certainly better before you showed up. I'm still doing pretty good.

THE KING OF TOWN: {sneakly stealing the cocoa butter while Strong Bad isn't looking} Oh good, Oh, well that's all I wanted to know. I guess I'll be moving to a different smell-- place. {shoots off stage right taking the cocoa butter}

STRONG BAD: Oh! Hey! He took my cocoa butter!

{The King of Town peeks back in and grabs the Animal Phat with his invisible hands}

{Cut to words: 6-8 hours later...}

{Cut to Strong Bad sunbathing again, however, his chest is extremly pink}

{Enter Marzipan with a large green oriental style umbrella}

MARZIPAN: Strong Bad, how long have you been lying here?

STRONG BAD: I dunno, 6, maybe 8 hours

MARZIPAN: You know, you're supposed to flip over every 15 minutes or so...

STRONG BAD: What? Who wants a tan on their back? There's no abs to accentuate. Not like up here. {stands, admiring his non-existant abs} Ooh, check it out, Ab City, USA, {shaking hips} do do do.

MARZIPAN: Strong Bad, I don't see a single ab.

STRONG BAD: What are you talking about, it's like a cold one brewery over here, there's so many six-packs. {producing a sharpie marker} check it out, {drawing abs onto his chest} one, two, threefourfivesix. Oops, forgot the hatching.

MARZIPAN: Aren't you supposed to have pecks?

STRONG BAD: Don't need em! That's why they call me Double A. All Abs.

MARZIPAN: That's weird.

{Marzipan exits stage right}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, I bet I could make some serious dough off this idea. I could be like, a thousandaire, or at least a hundredaire.

{cut to fake ad, with Strong Bad's Ab-Abber 2000 zooming in slowly}

ANNOUNCER: Introducing the all new Strong Bad Ab-Abber 2000! Get results like the the professionals in {words appear on screen} Minutes! Nay! Seconds! Just listen to this guy over here!

{cut to Strong Sad holding the Ab-Abber 2000}

STRONG SAD: {sounding like he is reading off of a tele-prompter} Since using Strong Bad's Ab-Abber Two Thous And the ladies have been all up ons. {talking to someone off camera} All up ons? I don't even know what that means?

STRONG BAD: {off camera} Well, Strong Sad, it means they really like you.

STRONG SAD: But they don't! Specially now with all this sharpie on my stomach.

STRONG BAD: Just read the lines man.

{Strong Bad's hand appears on camera holding what appears to be a plush lobster}

STRONG BAD: Do you want to see Gooblies again or what?

STRONG SAD: You leave Gooby out of this!

{Cut to: Close up of the Ab-Abber 2000 box with words 'Act Now!' flashing at the top of the screen}

ANNOUNCER: Act now and recieve the Cloitserizer {words appear at bottom of screen} Abs-solutely free! {words disappear} Max out your {words appear flashing in center screen} Cloits and Dloits!!?! with the ease of a thousandaire. Strong Bad's Ab-Abber 2000. {words appear} "They'll be all up ons!"

{The Paper appears}

Easter eggs

  • Click on the little "G" tag (right side, up near Strong Bad's hand) on Strong Sad's lobster Gooblies to see a Homsar Celebrity testimonial.
  • Click on the marker at the end of the email to see the instructions for Strong Bad's Ab-Abber.

External Links

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