strong badathlon

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 06:31, 30 January 2007

"Yeah? You think you got it like that?"

The residents of Free Country, USA compete in the Strong Badathlon.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Poopsmith, The Cheat, Coach Z, Homsar, Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Strong Mad, The Robot (storybook), Strong Sad

Places: The Computer Room, Strong Badia, The Field, Strong Bad's Basement, Marzipan's Kitchen

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: January 29, 2007

Running Time: 3:39

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} I'm doin' a party, I'm makin' it happen, on Strong Bad Email.

subject: the cheat

Dear Strong bad,
For a long time i've been wondering... How far can you
throw the cheat? If you don't want to do that, could you
beat the crud out of homestar for no reason?

Lewis Rudkin
Essex, England.

{Strong Bad reads Essex as 'S X'}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Y'know, it's funny how this always seems to work out, Rudkin... {clears screen} but those just happen to be the first two events in the Strong Badathlon!

{cuts to Strong Badathlon logo}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Unfortunately, they also happen to be my worst two events. The Cheat Chuck is consistently dominated by the Kenyans. I mean the Poopsmith. Ever since he devised the Whatsitburied Slop

{As he says this, it cuts to the Poopsmith next to a pile of whatsit, and then continues to fling The Cheat out of the pile.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} ...that guy's unbeatable!

THE CHEAT: {Cheat noises as he flies through the air}

COACH Z: Holy gorsh! It looks like a new record!

{Cuts to Homsar and Marzipan sitting at a table having tea}

MARZIPAN: And that's why I believe the DNA evidence had been tampered with.

{The Cheat flies onto the table, causing whatsit to fly all over the place.}

HOMSAR: Well, hello, chocolate cake!

{Cuts to results board of the Strong Badathlon}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-of-Beating is another event you'd think I'd be the best at. But the reigning champion seems to have intimate knowledge of Homestar's weak points.

{As he speaks, it cuts to Homestar walking onto the screen with a sweat band and outfit on.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {punches himself in the stomach} Come on you little so and so. {slaps himself in the face, then punches himself in the stomach} Is that all you got? {punches himself in the side then the face} Oh yeah? Oh yeah? You think you got it like that? {punches himself 3 times} Whaddya think this is, you little placemat? {gets hit once} A diaper show? {gets hit once more} It's not a diaper show. {gets hit again} I think that's pretty obvious.

STRONG BAD: {typing} Man, man, we should start putting those Homestar Vs. Homestar fights on pay-per-view. Instant classics! And speaking of pay-per-view,

{Cuts to Strong Bad sitting in the Basement, with a 'Remote Put' graphic in the upper left hand corner.}

STRONG BAD: {voice over} Next up is the Remote Put.

{Cuts to the TV with a 'Ready?' graphic on the screen.}

ANNOUNCER: {voice over, reading text that appears on screen} Cute little girl from sit-com sings patriotic song.

STRONG BAD: Argh, I freakin' hate that little kid! Why'd they ever bring her on the show?! {throws remote} Agh!

{Graphic comes on screen, accompanied with a buzzer noise, graphic reads 'DISQUALIFICATION! BATTERY FAULT!}

STRONG BAD: What? These games are fixed! Check the East German's pants! Check the--

{Cuts to results screen}

STRONG BAD: {voice over} Our coverage of the 2007 Strong Badathlon continues with the Clean and Jerk... Strong Mad's Underwears... Over His Head. Fortunately, you don't really have to clean them.

{Cuts to Strong Bad and Coach Z standing behind Strong Mad, whose underwear is sticking out of his singlet, with a ruler against his back.}

STRONG BAD: Uhh, are you trying to tell me that this man doesn't already have a wedgie of illegal proportions?

COACH Z: Nope, that's the regulation starting point.

STRONG BAD: That's it, I'm boycotting these games.

STRONG MAD: THANK THE LORD!!

{Cuts to results screen}

STRONG BAD: {voice over} And finally, my strongest event, {graphic appears, and adds new picture with each word} Probably Something with Guitars, lasers, Robots, and Hot Girls.

{Cuts to Powered By The Cheat cartoon of Strong Bad with laser arms, and robots walking in the background. Strong Bad fires at them. A woman with a green-and-white striped shirt walks by; when she walks past Strong Bad, he can be seen through the green stripes.}

STRONG BAD: {laser noises, shoots robots} Hey, wait, look Iconic I got I won the Good medal.

{With one laser-hand, he holds up a "Good medal". Cut to a Powered By The Cheat version of The Cheat playing the guitar. The word 'Streisand' appears across the screen as someone says it.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} And after all the medals have been given to the wrong athletes, we come to the ending closimonies, celebrating poor sportsmanship, drug testing, and good ol' fashioned people twirling ribbons.

{Cuts to Strong Sad and Marzipan twirling ribbons on a stage.}

STRONG SAD: {singing} Togetherness.

MARZIPAN: {singing} Togetherness.

MARZIPAN AND STRONG SAD: {singing} Encircling the World.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing and dancing} Just take those old glasses off the shelf...

{Fireworks go off in the background, then a cut to Strong Bad sitting at the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} There you have it, Rudkin Shampoo. Someteen Days of Glory! And after the closimonies, most BadAthletes immediately begin filming product endorsements while their names are still fresh in our minds.

{Cuts to Strong Bad sitting in a kitchen with a box of cereal and a bowl.}

STRONG BAD: Whoa, wipe my brow. Winning gold medals takes a lot of hard cereal, and dedication. That's why I eat {hold up box} Temporarios! The official cereal of athletes you won't remember in two weeks! {cuts to a shot of the box and bowl of cereal with two gold medals hanging off the side of it} Temporarios, {speech bubble comes out of box} "Cause I'm Don't Get Paid!"

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

• Click on "Lewis Rudkin; Essex, England." to see a Videlectrix game based on his name.
• When Strong Bad says "Homestar vs. Homestar fights", click on "fights" to see a poster.
• Click on "Rudkin Shampoo" to see a bottle of Rudkin Shampoo.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• East Germany, or the German Democratic Republic, was a socialist state that existed prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall and dominated several Olympic events, in part because of their athletes' prolific use of steroids.
• Olympic athletes often rely on product endorsements for income due to Olympic amateurism regulations.

Trivia

• For a split second, before The Paper comes down, you can see the words "Side Words" on the side of the Temporarios box.

Goofs

• Strong Bad's arm disappears briefly when he wipes the sweat off his forehead.

Fixed Goofs

"Cuz I'm don't get paid!

• The slogan for Temporarios cereal, "Cuz I'm don't get paid!" was missing the closing set of quotation marks (see right); this was quickly corrected.

Inside References

• Cableman Jorge was Strong Bad's alias in Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 9.2.
• "Someteen days of glory!" is a reference to Teen Girl Squad Issue 10, where The Ugly One has a "Sweet Someteen Birthday".
• Strong Bad's endorsement of Temporarios breakfast cereal is a reference to his endorsement of Schenectady Crispies in labor day.
• Guitars and lasers is possibly a reference to new hands, where, near the end, Strong Bad laments not having chosen guitars and laser guns as possible prosthetics.
• If you look at Strong Bad's arm in the the Cheat style part, you'll see that he has an anchor tattoo, in reference to the toon Strong Bad is a Bad Guy.

Real-World References

• The "Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-of-Beating" event takes its name from Greco-Roman wrestling, one of the three styles of wrestling contested in the Olympic Games.
• The song Homestar starts to sing during the "ending closimonies" is sung to the tune of the song "Old Time Rock and Roll" by Bob Seger. He replaces the word "glasses" for "records" in the song, referencing a commercial from the 1980's for the Hardees fast food franchise's collectible set of Alvin and the Chipmunks glasses. The song lyrics were changed in this commercial (and sung by The Chipmunks) to "Just take those old glasses off the shelf / Get down to Hardees and help yourself / Those other glasses ain't got the same class / I want an Alvin and the Chipmunks glass"
• "Rudkin Shampoo" is a reference to the actual brand "Redken Shampoo".
• The half-circles and circle on the corner of the Strond Badathlon logo resemble those of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation logo.

External Links

• watch "strong badathlon"
• watch "strong badathlon" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "strong badathlon"
• forum thread re: "strong badathlon"